Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Author’s POV

By the end she was done talking, Cara was crying bitterly in his arms. Going through those petrifying memories was difficult for her.

This is the reason why she is scared of offending people. The moment when she offended her adoptive father by calling him bad, still horrifies her.

This is the reason why she wanted to apologize to Chase in the beginning when she used to think that she made him think that he is a monster.

Because she knew the pain of being called what you are not. She remembers when her father, James used to blame her for her mother’s death, calling her by different names.

She didn’t know the meaning of those words when she was young but as she grew up, she understood what all those words meant and it hurt her.

That is why she didn’t want Chase to think that he is a monster who scares her.

And now she knows for sure that he is not a monster, he never was. At least not to her. He was like her protector who saved her whenever she needed help.

His ways were not something she was fan of. But he did it his way. Maybe those were the best ways according to him.

His hold around her had already became tight. As if trying to protect her from all the evil in this world.

He also had tears in his eyes. He doesn’t know how it feels to get abused, because he has never been in that situation before.

But the amount of pain, the trembling of her voice when she was telling him about her terrifying past, he could feel her pain right in his gut, in his heart.

He was heartbroken to hear everything that she had to go through but at the same time it was burning his insides in anger.

He wanted to find that f**ker and all those other trashy bastards who made his Cara go through something so horrible, and rip their heads off of their bodies. But after making them go through the same kind of pain.

But as Cara said they were already behind bars paying for their crimes.

Chase didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to comfort a person, he has never done it before.

But his one hand was moving up and down on her back rubbing it in a soothing manner. Her face was buried deep in his chest as she kept crying.

He didn’t tell her to stop crying even though her tears were squeezing his heart in pain. Because he knew she needed to let it all out in order to feel better.

But he didn’t let her go either. He kept her closer, hoping that it would make her feel secure and it really was helping Cara.

First of all, she never thought that she would ever be able to tell someone about her past. But being in his arms gave her courage making her feel safe and secure the whole time.

After sometime when she stopped crying, he asked softly, “Are you tired?”

“A little” she whispered in her hoarse voice.

“Want to sleep?” he asked her and she hummed in response.

He didn’t separate her from himself, just slid his hands behind her thighs and got on his feet, picking her up. He started making his way towards her room.

He laid her body on the mattress and placed a soft kiss on her neck. Even though he didn’t want to, he tried pulling himself away from her body so that he can cover her with duvet and then go to sit on the couch in her room.

As he wasn’t going to leave her alone right now.

But her hold tightened around him and she whispered, “Don’t go. Don’t leave me alone”. He didn’t needed to be told twice.

“Don’t worry, I am not going anywhere” he whispered back.

She pulled away a little so that she can stare into his eyes as she asked, “Really?” and he nodded his head with a smile.

She loosened her hold around him. He removed her sandals from her feet. She was still wearing the dress that she wore yesterday for the party.

“Are you comfortable in these clothes or want to change?” he asked. She shook her head and he understood that she just wants to sleep right now.

He covered her body with duvet. Her eyes were fixed on him. She thought he would ask questions to her, or say something after hearing what she said.

But he didn’t say anything, not even tried to sympathize with her and she was really grateful for that.

After what happened with her in past, she always saw the look of pity in others eyes for her.

People either pitied her or tried to console her by saying they understand how she must feel after everything that happened to her, that they feel sorry for her.

But they didn’t know that seeing the look of pity in others eyes for yourself, makes you feel like a pathetic loser.

She knows that she is not strong like others, that she is scared of many things which are very normal for others.

But knowing that others think of you as someone weak, that they feel sorry for you, hurts a lot. That is why she doesn’t like sharing anything about her past or health condition with anyone.

Her eyes are still fixed on him. After covering her body with duvet, he was filling a glass of water for her.

He looks calm. But she can see that many things are going in his head at this moment.

‘But what is he thinking?’ she wants to know.

She could feel the anger radiating through his body when she was telling him about how her adoptive father abused her.

At one point she thought that he would just lose his temper and will start throwing things or do something violent to vent his anger out.

But he didn’t do any of that. He controlled his anger for her sake.

She knew a very big storm was going on inside him, his eyes were giving away his secrets, his emotions, again.

He sat down beside her on the bed and handed her the glass of water. She looked at the glass in confusion.

“Your throat must be sore, drink it” he whispered softly caressing her head with his hand.

She took the glass and drank the water and it really helped her sore throat. He put the glass on the nightstand. He turned off the lights, made her lie down on the bed again.

After covering her, he lied down sideways beside her. He slid his hand under her head and she rested her temple on his bicep. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

He was in deep thoughts since earlier. She wanted to know what he is thinking about. But before she could say anything, he spoke first.

“Cara, I know I should be saying something to you in this situation where you opened up about your past in front of me. But I don’t know what to say” he confessed honesty.

“I don’t know how to comfort someone. I have never done something like that before. I am not good with words, you know right?” he said as his other hand started patting her back gently.

She chuckled at his words, “Yeah, I know very well”. He also smiled at her words. He pulled away a little so that he could look at her face.

“But there is one thing that I really want to say to you” he whispered as his hand now started caressing her face.

“That I am proud of you” he whispered and her eyes widened in shock.

“You are very brave, very strong. And to be honest, I never thought you were this strong. I knew that you had a backbone when you spoke for yourself”

“You always stood for yourself and your friends. You stood in front of John when he was bullying your friend Aria. You stood against Law when he tried to misbehave with you. You even stood in front of me few times”.

“So I knew you could fight for yourself. But what you told me today made me realise one thing. That you are the strongest, more stronger than anyone out there and I am feeling really proud of you” he whispered.

She had tears in her eyes. She knew that he would never say any mean things to her. But she never imagined him to say what he did just now.

He wiped her tears as he whispered, “I know you went through a lot and you did it all alone. But now you are not alone. Because I am here, always, for the rest of our lives”.

A sob left her mouth as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. His hold became tighter as he kept her closer to himself.

After sometime her body relaxed against his. He kissed her exposed shoulder and made her lie down in a comfortable position.

He stared at her face for the whole night. There were many thoughts in his mind.

He knows he is a monster who can not change. It’s not he hasn’t tried changing before. He did. He attended few sessions with psychiatrists, he took medicines prescribed by them but nothing worked.

He is scared for her, for himself. He doesn’t want to break her trust. He doesn’t want to be a beast, in Cara’s eyes. But he can’t let her go either.

‘Is he being selfish if he wants to be with her for the rest of his life? Can’t he just forget about everything and be happy with her?’

***

Two weeks later…

Cara and Chase are in a small restaurant where they are planning on having their lunch today. It was Cara’s idea. She loves the food here.

They were sitting on their table waiting for their food to arrive. They were talking about some random stuffs.

It’s been two weeks since the day she finally opened up about her terrifying past in front of him. After that day, he never brought the topic about her past ever again.

The last time they talked about her fears was the next day after she told him everything. Next morning he asked her to tell him about everything, that she is scared of, apart from fights of course.

It could be darkness, height or anything, everything.

She told him everything. She told him that she is only scared of fights and things related to that. Such as bloodied knuckles, shattered glasses, action movies etc.

Then he realised why she never agreed to his suggestions of watching action movies in the past.

Since then he hasn’t brought anything related to her past, her fears or anything else which would remind her of her past.

The disaster he made during Sapphire’s birthday party, put him in real problem this time.

He had injured those two boys very badly. There were many people who were present in the party and witnessed everything. One of them tipped the police off and Chase was called to police station.

He didn’t tell Cara about the mess he put himself into. Was he regretting his actions as he got caught this time? No he was not. Those bastards deserved what they got from him.

He was planning on visiting the police station but before he could go there, his father Frank took care of everything.

The parents of those boys were not easy to handle but Frank had the proof of those bastard’s illegal activities. They were involved in drugs.

So it became easier for Frank. He just asked their parents if they would just let his son Chase go without filing any complaint against him.

Or they would file a case against him and get their children’s asses dragged down to police station for illegal possession and consumption of drugs.

But this time too, Chase didn’t show any appreciation for his father’s help. It made Cara wonder about the relationship between them.

They definitely had differences between them. At some points, she could even feel hatred in Chase’s heart for his father. But what is the reason behind that, she doesn’t know.

Their food arrived and they dug into it while still continuing their chit chat.

Suddenly Cara’s eyes fell on the person sitting on the two tables away from theirs and her breath got stuck in the back of her throat.

He was here with the same girl, Cara has seen them before. Her guess is that they are couple.

The spoon fell from Cara’s hand which made Chase to look at her face. He was sitting beside her right now.

She averted her eyes away from the guy and started staring at her food. Her palms were becoming clammy, sweat buds were forming on her forehead.

“What’s wrong Cara?” Chase asked in concern as he looked around in the restaurant to see if there is something which will make her scared.

She buried her face in his chest taking him by surprise. She clutched his t-shirt in her tiny fists. In an instant his arms came to get wrapped around her.

He asked again, “What is it Cara? What’s making you scared?” he asked and concern was clear in his voice.

“Take me out of here” she whispered slowly and he didn’t needed to be told twice. He called the waiter and settled the bill.

After that he started making his way out of there, taking her with him. She was still holding onto him as if her life depended on it.

He was not complaining her being glued to his body but he wanted to know what was making her scared. He didn’t like the fear in her eyes.

They were about to get out of there when suddenly a man who just entered into restaurant bumped into them, to be precise he bumped into Cara.

And anyone who was present there could tell that he did it on purpose.

Chase’s jaw clenched tight and his hands got balled into fists to his side.

Cara noticed the change in his demeanor and it scared her a little thinking that he might just beat that guy for bumping into her intentionally.

But he didn’t do anything of that sort. He just glared at the guy and side stepped him to walk out. But that stupid guy was just in the mood to get into fight with the beast himself.

“Shouldn’t you apologize after bumping into someone?” that guy said as his eyes travelled from Cara’s head to her toe.

Chase’s hold around Cara tightened as his eyes turned darker than the night. Through gritted teeth he said the words Cara never thought she would hear from his mouth.

“We are sorry to bump into you” he said and Cara couldn’t believe her ears. She was staring at his face in utter shock and he was aware about her gaze.

“Yeah, this is what you should… hey where are you going?” Chase didn’t stop there to hear his bullshit. He made his way towards parking and made her sit on the passengers seat.

His jaw was still clenched, eyes still dark due to anger. He did the seatbelt for her. He was not looking into her eyes. She held his hand in hers, “Chase…”.

He released a frustrated sigh and finally looked up to stare into her eyes and his eyes turned soft in a moment.

“Cara listen. I couldn’t eat properly in there and I am still a little hungry. I will just go and get something for us to eat at home, okay? You stay here, I’ll be back in few minutes” he said.

He was lying, she could see it clearly in his eyes. But she still nodded her head. He gave her a small smile and closed the door of the car.

She knows he is going back inside to take care of that bastard who bumped into them just now.

This is what he has been doing since past two weeks. He avoids getting into fights with anyone when she is with him.

He tries to keep his calm and even if he gets angry, he swallows his anger and takes her out of those places. Away from those who try to bring the monster in him out.

But does that mean he lets those f**kers go? No he doesn’t. He makes sure to take care of them behind Cara’s back.

Just like how he is going to do now.

He got inside the restaurant again and strode towards the table where that motherf**ker was sitting with one of his friend.

He landed a hard punch on the guy’s face taking him by surprise. The guy recognised Chase and his jaw clenched. He got up on his feet but before he could make any movement, Chase punched him again.

“Yes, you were right. You should apologise when you bump into someone by mistake” Chase snarled dangerously at the guy’s face.

“But when someone intentionally bumps into your girlfriend, you have to take care of the trash like them” Chase said and left his collars that he was grabbing, pushing him away from himself. The guy fell on the floor.

Everyone was watching them. The owner of the restaurant didn’t make any move to stop Chase as she knows who Chase is. Additionally he wasn’t destroying any of their property.

“I would have liked to teach you a proper lesson but right now, I am a little busy. I hope this warning is going to work” Chase said with a raised brows.

He didn’t want to go back with any cut or blood on his body. Not wanting to make Cara worried or scared.

The guy chuckled at Chase’s words as he asked while getting on his feet, “Who do you think you are huh? Are you some mafia or what, that you think people will be scared of your warnings?”

An evil smirk appeared on Chase’s lips and he said, “Oh boy, you wouldn’t like to know”.

“What?” The guy asked in confusion but his question was answered by his friend when he told him, “What are you doing Sam? Why are you messing with him?”

“You know him?” Sam asked his friend and his friend glanced in Chase’s direction.

“Even you know him. He is Chase. Chase Adams” his friend whispered and his eyes widened in shock. His scared eyes landed on Chase who had a look of satisfaction on his face.

This is what he likes to see in other’s eyes. Fear. Fear for him.

“Now I think my warning is going to work” he said and turned around telling the owner of the restaurant to pack the same food they ordered earlier, for taking.

He came out to find Cara sitting in the car with concern written all over her face.

Her eyes took in his form to find any signs of fights or injury on his body. She sighed in relief when she found nothing.

He noticed her actions but didn’t say anything. He knows he won’t be able to lie in front of her again, so he didn’t try to address her concern.

“Let’s go” he said once he settled down on the driver’s seat. She nodded her head and he started driving.

***

Cara was lying on her bed in her room. They are still staying in different rooms.

She is not able to sleep right now. The guy she saw in the restaurant today, is still bugging her mind.

Not the one who bumped into her. But the other guy she saw and just told Chase that she wants to get out of the restaurant.

She is also worried about Chase. She doesn’t like that he tries to lie in front of her. He does it for her sake but she still doesn’t like it.

He has always been honest with her. Never lied about anything. Even if he doesn’t want to talk about something, he doesn’t lie to her. He honesty tells her that he doesn’t want to talk about it.

That’s what she likes in their relationship, honesty and transparency. So seeing him trying to lie to her, makes her sad.

She got down from her bed to go out and get herself some water for night. She is not able to sleep anyways.

She came out of her room but stopped in her tracks when her eyes fell on Chase, who was sitting on one of the chairs near kitchen counter.

He felt her presence and lifted his eyes up to find her walking towards him.

“Not able to sleep?” Cara asked softly and he nodded his head, “You too?” he asked and she replied in the same way.

“Why are you out here?” Cara asked.

“Nothing, it feels lonely in the room. Also I had few thoughts in my head” he replied and this time honesty.

Cara wanted to ask what is it that’s bugging him but decided against it. But he asked her instead, “Don’t you want to know what kind of thoughts”.

Cara came around and stood beside him near counter. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

He turned around to face her. He pulled her closer, making her stand between his legs. He took her small hands in his as he whispered, “I am sorry”.

“For what?” Cara asked even though she knew why he was apologising. Because she believes he needs to let it out in front of her, in order to feel better.

“You know that I didn’t go back into the restaurant to get us food, right?” He asked. She nodded her head.

“I am sorry, I didn’t want to lie to you. Not today or anytime during past two weeks. I wanted to let those bastards slide and move on without hurting them, either for hitting on you or trying to mess with you” he paused.

He let her hands go and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face into her chest. She curled her arms around his neck.

“But I can’t control my anger Cara. Even if I try to. That is why I punished all of them, when you were not around. Thinking that if you don’t find out about it, it’s going to be okay. But it seems like, I can’t lie to you. It bugs me like crazy” he completed.

“It’s good that you are being honest with me. I like it this way Chase. You don’t have to lie in front of me. I understand if you can’t control your anger”

“But just assure me about two things” she said. He pulled away to stare up at her face in confusion.

She answered his unasked question, “First, that you won’t put yourself in big trouble, like you did last time in Sapphire’s birthday party. You have to remember that now it’s not only about you. I am in it too. Seeing you in pain, hurts me too”.

His eyes slightly widened at her words. He actually never thought about it this way. He was always free and had nothing to lose whenever he got himself into fights or trouble.

Even if he would get imprisoned because of his temper, he wouldn’t have cared a bit.

But now he does have so many things to lose. He can’t be so reckless with his actions. Because he can’t leave her alone out here if he ever gets in bigger trouble.

“And second, you will never lie to me ever again. Even if you get into fights, don’t lie to me. I don’t like when you do that” she said as her thumbs started caressing his face.

“I assure you” he whispered. She smiled down at him.

Both of them just kept staring into each other’s eyes and his desires started resurfacing again.

He is literally starting to lose his control these days.

He remembers how few days ago he almost lost his control over himself.

He was kissing her in the living room. The slow and gentle kiss turned into needy one after some time.

In past, whenever he used to kiss her, his hands never strayed from her waist or neck if he was holding it to keep her body closer.

His hands never tried to explore her body without her permission. His kisses were also limited from her head to her lips. From her neck to her shoulders.

He never crossed his limits. But that day, he lost his control. His hand which was resting on her waist, slid down to her hips and then it slid into her shirt that she was wearing.

His lips were trailing the kisses down from her collar bone to her cleavage which he never did before.

As soon as his cold hand touched the warm skin of her waist, her body froze against his and he got out of his trance. He pulled his hand out of her shirt and took in her condition as he pulled away.

He saw the first two buttons of her shirt were undone and he didn’t realise when he did that. Even she looked shocked at that moment.

He regretted his actions instantly and apologised for his behaviour. Since then he is trying to keep his hands off of her, as much as possible.

He came out of his thoughts when he heard her voice, “What are you thinking about Chase?”

He quickly loosened his hold on her and instead of answering her, he asked, “What were you doing here in the kitchen at this time?”

She noticed that he doesn’t want to answer her question so she decided to let the matter go and replied, “I came here to get some water for myself”.

He nodded his head. She walked towards the fridge and took out the water bottle.

His eyes were fixed on her. She was wearing an oversized silk shirt which was reaching her knees. Though it was not revealing or something which would make someone look good.

But somehow she managed to look deadly gorgeous in that shirt. So hot, oh so sexy, that he was starting to lose his control yet again.

She turned around to find his eyes already stuck on her. Her heartbeat increased the moment she noticed how dark his eyes has become.

But this time not in anger, but something else.

Before she could ponder over the meaning of the look in his eyes, he started walking towards her, capturing her lips in a deep and passionate kiss.

And she knew then, that it’s not going to end at just one single kiss.