Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Atticus

Onyx eyes surveyed Atticus keenly. He sighed at Ralphin, and rolled his eyes for good measure.

“I have nothing new to tell you.”

Ralphin sighed dramatically, pushing away from the tree he’d been leaning against. “I’m not here for news, and you know it.”

“So you truly are just here to pester me, then?” Atticus folded his arms across his chest. Before Ralphin could retort, he spoke again: “We’re meant to be running. This seems an awful lot like talking to me.”

“Fine.” It was Ralphin’s turn to roll his eyes. He slicked back his inky hair and grinned. Letting out a howl that curved around his laughter, he sprinted into the grassy plains bordering the southern edge of the Blood Moon pack.

For a moment, Atticus remained. He surveyed the last leg of his territory, the sweeping grasslands turning into densely packed woods before meeting with the Lone Wind pack’s land, far to the south and well out of view beyond the trees.

“Hurry up!”

Atticus sighed. He took a single, reluctant step towards Ralphin, who was bouncing on his toes a few hundred metres away. Morning sunlight glinted off his brow, the day still young and hazy. Atticus shifted his weight as he eyed his friend, unusually uncertain.

He was at a crossroads.

Rather than thinking of her, he propelled himself forwards. His legs found an easy rhythm, pushing himself just hard enough that he had to focus on his footfalls instead of the throbbing in his head and heart. Ralphin kept pace, his only acknowledgement of Atticus’s silence the frequent sideways glances he shot him.

But, Atticus thought wearily, all good things came to an end, and so too did Ralphin’s silence.

“As much as I love sprinting through the countryside, I get the feeling there’s more to this than your love of exercise.” His words were splintered by heaving breaths, and he yanked on Atticus’s elbow, pulling him to an ungraceful halt.

Levelling his gaze at Ralphin, Atticus sighed. The speed and uneven terrain had barely affected his body; he folded his arms across his chest as he waited for Ralphin’s breathing to return to normal.

“You’re meant to be fit.”

“Make me come on more runs like this, and I’m sure I will be.” He wiped his palms on his shorts. “Besides, Att. I am fit. Most people don’t run cross-country at ninety miles an hour. If we’d kept it to, oh, say, seventy, I would have been just fine.” He held up a finger before Atticus could speak. “The fact that we were running so fast tells me something’s wrong. Cough it up.”

Atticus sighed again, before grunting: “Nothing.”

“Bull.”

“I don’t need this.”

“Yeah, actually, you do.” Ralphin rounded on him, his shorter, stockier form seeming to swell. “You made me your Beta so I could call you out on your shit.” Prodding Atticus in the chest for good measure, he added, “I know you. I also know that admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it.”

Sagging at the knees, Atticus groaned. “Fine. But if you know me so well, then you already know what this is about, and there’s no need to talk about it.”

“Humour me.”

“I sent a spy after her,” he snapped.

Ralphin’s eyebrows shot up. “After Lily?”

His heart thundered in his chest. The mere mention of her name did more to him than any run, any fight. Cracking his knuckles just so he had something to do with his hands, he nodded.

“Wow.”

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.” But the glint in his dark eyes did. “It is kind of creepy, though.”

Atticus wound his hands through his hair, strands of honey seeping down his wrists. “I didn’t have a choice.”

Ralphin was quiet for a moment. Then he sat on the grass, splaying his legs out like a child. He gestured for Atticus to follow suit; after a second of reluctance, he did.

“I need her back, Ralph. I – I’m useless without her.” His heart hollowed out, and he dug his nails into the loose soil. “I wanted to sever the mate bond cleanly, to rid myself of her. Instead, I… I’ve ruined myself.”

“You’re not that bad,” Ralphin smirked, but he quickly sobered. “Look. It’s not like it was an established bond. It was brand new, fresh. And it’s not like she died or anything.”

Hearing that was a punch to the gut. In an instant he had imagined a thousand ways Lily could die, and each one hurt more than the last. “Thanks for that,” he grunted, slowly pulling his fingers free from the ground.

Ralphin nudged him. “You know what I mean. Is getting her back really the right thing to do? I mean, for all we know, she might not – I mean…”

“Spit it out.”

Ralphin sighed. “What if she doesn’t want you back? She did leave, Att.”

“I’m the Alpha. Of course she will.”

“Okay, fine. Of course she will,” he parroted. “But what if it doesn’t help? Has anyone tried to force a mate bond back together again once it’s been broken?”

“I have to try.” Atticus ground out the words, his jaw rigid. “I don’t want a relationship with her. I’m not saying that. I just… I need her around.” Thumping a hand against his chest, he turned to look Ralphin dead in the eye. “I need her to make me whole again.”

Ralphin sighed. “I can’t believe you sent a spy after her.”

Atticus smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Honestly? Me either.” He shook his head, his weak smile faltering. “I don’t know what she’s done to me. I thought… I thought I’d made the right choice.”

Shrugging one shoulder, Ralphin said, “Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. Either way, you have to deal with the consequences now. And you know I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

“Thanks, Ralph.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I won’t.”

“Atticus?”

“Yeah?”

“I probably wouldn’t mention the spy to your parents.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I’m just using the power they gave me.”

A power that was faltering every second they were apart. As they climbed to their feet, setting their gazes back on the centre of the Blood Moon pack’s territory – his pack’s territory – Atticus knew he would do anything to get Lily back.

Besides, he thought, relishing in the pull of his muscles as he ran towards home, he was the Alpha. And Alphas always got what they wanted.