Chapter 19: Chapter 19

WHERE LADYS MEET

Arin greeted her with her mouth full, giggling so stupidly again. It was sweet at first, but after a whole morning it got on my nerves.

"You know Elain, Benita was often here with Eldonaro when he came to my mother's. She made me do silly things and let me take the beatings on my own."

Playfully pouting, he watched me grab a second helping of veggies.

"You came up with that nonsense yourself, Arin." Benita chuckled, embarrassed. Of course...

Arin nodded. "It was always fun, after all."

"Not if Avan caught us."

Oh no, Avan didn't believe her in the role of the innocent? How unfortunate. Maybe Avan wasn't so bad after all.

"I can't believe he was so mean. I really didn't do anything wrong." Benita looked down at her hands in concern. Arin cocked his head.

"Doesn't actually look like him."

"He never believed me. Maybe he didn't like me. And that's why... well."

Avan was probably extremely sympathetic.

"Then he would have kicked you out."

"Speaking of him..." Syman pointed to the door where Avan had just appeared.

With Helena on his hip and holding Bea's hand, he moved to an empty spot on the blackboard and nodded to me. With the scowl I'd last seen when he almost hugged Arin. Help. Help...!

He got up and came towards us. Help! Why didn't my black knight do anything against the white knight? Save the fair maiden!

"Elaine." he growled. When he saw Benita he raised an eyebrow indifferently.

"Hello Avan." She looked down again and bit her lip in fear.

Good heavens. He hadn't even said anything! If he moved she would probably pee her pants...

"Hi." Avan answered almost casually.

I didn't even feel bad for being so pleased at Avan's indifference. She swallowed embarrassed and played with her fingers nervously.

"We don't warn." Arin joked, wide-eyed.

Avan shook his head. "Stop it. That's creepy."

Benita made herself even smaller.

"He won't hurt you, dear God!"

Syman, Arin, Benita, and Avan stared at me in a daze. Maybe it was inappropriate, but Benita was disgustingly annoying and ridiculous. What did she think Avan would do to her?

Arin and Avan shared the same sly, dimpled smile. Benita looked at me as if I had a new enemy. Also good.

"Elaine." Avan's tone was far friendlier than before. "Come with me for a moment."

I followed Avan outside into the warm spring sun. The yard was empty, everyone was eating. I stubbornly crossed my arms in front of my chest.

Avan faced me and, uncharacteristically for him, leaned his shoulder against the door. "Elaine?"

I looked up at his pale expression. "He won't hurt you? Dear God?"

Oh no! "Is that why you got me out?"

His dimple showed, he grinned so wide. "Now are you ashamed?"

"What's so special about it?" I hissed snippy. I haven't finished eating yet...

"You defended me. So you don't think so badly of me anymore?"

"I just wanted Benita..." actually what?

"It's okay, I didn't want to discuss that anyway." Now he was standing again. "Florence was with me today and complained that you were rushing against them?"

Naturally. If a drama, then ready for the stage.

Avan snorted in exasperation. "I don't care what you do or don't do to her, but if I see that... woman in my study again, I'll think of revenge."

"What? A woman gives you problems?"

Avan straightened up and stepped close to me. He was so big I had to look up at him.

"A whole two women are currently sawing on my nerves." He grinned and took a step back. His hubris had returned. "Stubborn jealousy doesn't suit you at all."

Now, finally at absolute zero, I came back into the hall. I could already hear Benita's giggling from the door. I rolled my eyes and huffed. You missed the food!

"Why does Avan look so pleased?" Arin's eyes widened as I refilled my plate.

Syman chuckled. Cute and not silly. "What's the matter Elain? You eat like a man!"

"Shut up, Syman." Arin growled. "What are you still doing here? Go back to the forge."

The squire stood up, pouting, and started running.

"That wasn't necessary..." I grumbled, starved.

"Did Avan insult you?"

"No." I tried to smile at him because this Benita didn't miss any of my movements. But he didn't look convinced. "Florence was just with him. I'm just waiting for my plan to work out, that's all."

He took my hand lovingly. "Do you want anything else? Helena baked cookies with Bea today."

I was ashamed that I had eaten so much. "I don't think so, thanks."

"Could I get some?" Betina giggled again as Arin nodded.

Then I went to sleep, I couldn't bear it!

After the meal, Avan sat in the paddock with Bea and Helena and watched Syman and Arin take care of the animals. Helena fell asleep between Bea and him.

The fact that Bea had attacked Elain last night still pissed him off. He had told her so many times to control herself.

"avan?" Bea sought his gaze, he deliberately avoided him.

"I apologized to them straight away."

"Would that have been possible with a corpse?"

She said nothing more. Just for a moment.

"It's not fair. I told you it doesn't happen anymore."

Ava just nodded. What else? He loved Bea the way she was. He had kissed her feet and adored her since day one. That side of her was one of them. But she was grown up now, she was a mother. She couldn't behave like that. If something had happened to Elain... How could Bea have lived with it? Or Arin?

Syman and Arin approached them. Syman looked offended and Arin ignored it.

"Arin." Bea growled angrily, picked up Helena and steamed away. His little brother could only look after her.

"Why the hell does everyone keep forgetting me here." Syman snorted, glaring at Avan and Arin.

"You don't want anything to do with her now anyway." Avan reassured him. However, it didn't help.

"You wanted to see me?" Arin ran a hand through his hair, exhausted.

"I found father's diary."

All color drained from Arin's face. He stiffened and seemed to hold his breath for a moment. Syman turned quietly to leave. Avan thought that was a particularly good idea.

The diary was bound with old black leather. Pages creased and yellowed.

As Arin picked it up, Avan started to leave, as did Syman, but Arin grabbed him...

Arin grabbed Avan's arm. He didn't want to read this alone.

"Are not you curious?"

Avan only half turned. "I was there most of the time."

But he couldn't do that with Elain. He wanted, but he couldn't. He didn't know what to expect now... Avan waited a moment longer, then left.

Arin sat down at the fence post that Avan was just leaning against. He would read it alone...

Diary of Henry Campbell

Today my ninth son was born. And what should I say. Eventually it loses the magic. He doesn't look any different than the others either. To be honest I don't know what to think about having another boy like that. He will probably become a monk. As soon as my wife gets over the first stage of joy, six boys will leave this castle.- For the first time in eleven years, Avan did not appear in the study. I found him between Taran and Arin. He behaved like a woman. Holding the two boys and laughing like an idiot. I will persuade my wife to let the boys go as soon as possible. Avan needs to focus again!- Actually, Avan was arguing with me today. With me! His father! The boy is sixteen years old. What is he thinking? He stood between me and Kora. A few days ago he was helping Taran and he hasn't let Arin out of his sight at all since the incident. He accuses me of being too strict and overreacting. If I didn't know that I didn't have a chance against Avan, I wouldn't put up with it. But the boy is too strong. Even Eric and surprisingly white Ben have grown strong.- It's a black day in the history of the white knights. My beloved wife Elizabeth has passed away. I'll probably take the boys away now. Kora, Taran and Arin are now too old for the monastery. The two little ones are too rebellious. It's the fault of the elderly. Whenever I do something, they radio me in between. Ever since the first incident, Avan hasn't looked at me like he did before. Once the Older Boys are busy and the little ones are finally taken away, Avan will finally be a suitable heir again.- Yes, it has happened again... But Arin's wrath and stubbornness must be stopped! Avan doesn't see it that way at all. He hates me, I know it! When he pushed me away this time, he stopped trying to talk me into it. Like a washerwoman, he picked up the boy and comforted him. I have to run a castle! Raise an heir! And Arin... He did it. Eric hasn't spoken a word to me for years, I only see Ben for dinner and Avan... He'll fine me for that.When he pushed me away this time, he stopped trying to talk to me. Like a washerwoman, he picked up the boy and comforted him. I have to run a castle! raise an heir! And Arin... He did it. Eric hasn't spoken a word to me for years, I only see Ben for dinner and Avan... He'll fine me for that.When he pushed me away this time, he stopped trying to talk me into it. Like a washerwoman, he picked up the boy and comforted him. I have to run a castle! Raise an heir! And Arin... He did it. Eric hasn't spoken a word to me for years, I only see Ben for dinner and Avan... He'll fine me for that.

He had reached the end. Shortly thereafter, his father felt really bad again, after which he died.

Reading those words hurt him more than he cared to admit. He knew his father had little time and interest in him. To be honest, he'd always thought Father only loved the older ones.

At some point, shortly after his mother died, his father lost his sense of reality. He had endured it for a long time. Until Arin was five and his father died.

But these thoughts of his father broke Arin's heart. He saw his father hunt with Eric, fight with Ben, and do just about everything he wanted to do with Avan. He had wished to be worth so much to him too. He was the biggest thorn in his eyes...

"Is it that bad?" Taran sprawled beside him.

"Amusing..."

Taran cocked his head. "Am I missing something if I don't read it?"

"I don't know. I skipped a lot."

"Did he write anything about the incidents?"

Arin went hot cold again and long-forgotten panic rose in him. He didn't want to think about it anymore...

"So yeah... What does he say about that?"

"I would have deserved it."

Arin's almost twin laughed ironically. "None of the three of us deserved it! Do you still think it's your fault for mother's death?"

"Once in a while... Nine giant babies can destroy a woman."

Taran slapped Arin on the shoulder and snorted. "The last one was definitely the most painful! Not the first..."

He didn't want to talk about it again, they had done that so many times before.

Honestly devastated, he banged his head on the fence post. He noticed a nimble blonde rushing toward him. Elain.

She gave Taran a quick wave, then looked down at him in concern. "Syman says you're reading something sad?"

Syman the little gossip. He would be surprised tomorrow. He would get jobs... "It's okay."

As she crouched down on the grass beside him and ran a hand through his hair, he didn't feel the old pain as clearly.

"Thanks for coming."

"Of course." Her big eyes worriedly searched his gaze.

He stroked her cheek and couldn't help but smile. He had completely forgotten what his father had written.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Restless..."

Taran chuckled playfully. "Eaten too much what?"

Arin scolded him, but he was surely right. When had Elain ever eaten so much?

"In this company you actually lose your appetite." she growled and eyed Taran mock disparagingly. "But today was a long day."

"Hey! Little one! You're only married, but I can lock you up in the wheat store just like I did with the others!"

"Who should you have overpowered?"

Taran laughed heartily. "Elain I find you creepy but funny." Then he leaned towards Arin and twitched his eyebrows. "Maybe she has such an appetite because she's for two?"

Elain paled. "I beg your pardon!?"

Even Arin found that roaring reaction funny. What's wrong with that? He even wished for a child by Elain. Even though he had Syman, it wasn't his son, it was his cousin.

"And if not, then we'll keep trying!" Taran commanded.

"I wouldn't mind." Arin was perfectly aware of his lustful gaze.

Elain's cheeks turned pink and her eyes darkened. "Men..."

It was the second night that I couldn't sleep. Arin slept soundly and didn't even notice that I got dressed and left the room.

I quietly crept into the kitchen and looked for the cookies from this afternoon, but the Campbell Monsters had already cleaned them all up. Frustrated, I stuffed sweet apples and then a piece of cherry pie into my mouth. And I washed it all down with cool milk. Am I really expecting a child?

"Caught."

My heart missed a beat. Please don't be Arin! That would be so embarrassing! Luckily, or whatever way you wanted to see it, Avan was standing in the doorway.

"This is theft, dear Lady Elain."

His playful mood was starting to scare me. "I've already eaten the evidence..."

"And a little bit more than that. The cake was for tomorrow. My wife made it. She's going to eat with Florence."

Oh god, and now a piece was missing. Florence will bend over backwards for sheer joy... My cheeks grew hot. "I'm sorry. I can make a new one right away."

Avan smiled and leaned against the wall across from me. "Now you two are quits."

"But that doesn't look pretty anymore. I thought if it was for lunch it would be cut anyway..."

"Bea can do the same. I wanted to give you this. Maybe then you'll understand Arin's shyness about this castle a little better."

Avan carefully placed a small bound booklet on the table in front of me. Colorful flowers were drawn on the edges and tied with a yellowed colorful ribbon. "It's my mother's diary. Arin already knows it, he read it before he left."

Stunned, I stared up at the huge blond man who gave me what most closely resembled his mother.

"Then just give it to Arin when you're done." Avan climbed the first set of stone steps leading out of the kitchen. "Oh yes, leave something for breakfast. If you can arrange it."

As if he had never been so hungry before. At his size, he couldn't tell me that.

Grumbling, I carefully opened the book, which contained a new-looking volume. I guess Avan wanted me to see something specific.

The diary of Elizabeth Campbell, wife of Henry Campbell.

I no longer understand my husband. He's suddenly so strict with my sons. He describes Arin as rebellious and rebellious, who would be too stubborn and that's why he won't get any food tonight again. The boy is three, he didn't understand what he had done. And me neither.I've always loved Henry, but now I'm not so sure. How can he treat my kids like that? Lock Arin in the library for three days... He's only three! I sent Eric to him with food. He didn't come back for half the afternoon. So Arin wasn't alone.- Avan was actually with us when we ate today! He sat down next to me and gave me a charming wink. Henry must not have allowed it.Ben, Joe, Michel and Samuel immediately challenged him. He defeated them all. He was having so much fun. Sometimes I worry about him, he's fourteen years old and can never just do what he wants. Like running away on your own and fighting with others...- He overdid it! Henry went so far today that Avan threatened to kill me. I never expected it from Henry but he gave Kora a deep scar on the small of her back today. A scar will remain. He almost bled to death! He threw Taran against the wall so angrily that he lost three of his first teeth and Arin... He got up again and again. Henry was getting more and more upset. Arin is green and blue. His eye is blue and swollen... Avan and Eric got too close to Henry and almost hit him. Arin is sleeping with Eric again tonight. I can feel myself getting weaker... - At noon today, Avan knocked over the entire board. Henry punched Kora and Arin, again Arin kept getting up. Henry didn't stop until Avan pushed him away with surprising force. Henry fell to the ground! Ben, Eric, and Joe took Kora and Arin away with Taran. I'm scared. I'm getting weaker and weaker, the lightest thing in the morning is difficult for me. And it only gets worse when I have to see Henry! He's going to kill Arin yet. He will kill him! And I can't do anything... And it only gets worse when I have to see Henry! He's going to kill Arin yet. He will kill him! And I can't do anything... And it only gets worse when I have to see Henry! He's going to kill Arin yet. He will kill him! And I can't do anything...

The notes ended here. Dazed and genuinely shocked, I just sat there. Then I jumped up with the little book and first ran up the stone steps into the great hall, then up the wooden stairs to our room.

Arin flinched as I yanked open the door, pushed it shut behind me, and climbed into bed with him.

"Hey, what's up?" Mumbling, he tried to get up, but I threw myself into his arms and tried not to cry.

It was just too awful. To imagine a little black-haired boy bleeding and stubbornly standing up. The way Arin was...

Arin noticed the journal and placed it on the floor by the bed. Then he wrapped his arms around me.

"It's okay... It's all right, I'm here."

"I should comfort you..."

"Oh, I hardly think back."

"Liar."

I felt his smile on my cheek. Then how he pulled me onto him and snuggled me up against him. I felt like he needed that today as much as I did. If not even more.

After a while, I had already dozed off, I felt his warm hand on my stomach. He sighed longingly, and after a while, his breathing evened out...

Before breakfast, Arin dragged himself wearily into the forge. He put on his apron and started to light the fire.

Since word got around that Arin was back at the forge, there have been a lot of orders coming in and a lot of guys wanting to apprentice with him. Syman boasted whenever he could that he was an apprentice to Arin.

"Good morning..." His apprentice was already there. Tired, he fell on his butt by the door and closed his eyes. "I want to go back to bed, Arin."

"Get to work."

Syman looked up and pouted. "Are you punishing me for something, or why do I have to be ready so early?"

"We have a lot to do, that's all. Four horses are about to be brought in that you have to re-shoe."

"All alone?" Suddenly wide awake and excited, Syman got up and ran to Arin. "Without your help?"

"Can you put that together?"

"Naturally!"

Arin was proud of Syman. He had evolved so well. Everyone had advised against taking him in and training him. He was way too thin and got sick too quickly. And now he was being trained as a blacksmith, and he was doing really well at it.

Syman only needed Arin's help twice, otherwise he did an excellent job. Time passed so quickly that they missed breakfast. Luckily, Elain thought of her and dropped by with a rebuff.

"Do you have time for a short break?" Syman dropped everything as it was and took the basket from Elain's hands.

Arin reached over his head and took the basket away from him. "Put away your tools again!"

After the boy returned to his workplace in a huff, Arin kissed Elain and rubbed her back. "Will you eat with us?"

"I've already eaten..." her cheeks turned pink. She had never eaten without him, but this time she must have been starving again.

Arin chuckled at her embarrassment.

"It's not that bad."

"But now!" Syman grabbed the basket again and left the forge. He probably ran to the adjacent paddock.

"Shouldn't we follow after you? Otherwise you'll stay hungry."

"He doesn't dare." Working with Arin when he was hungry was an exceedingly unpleasant experience. And Syman knew that. Elain still wanted to follow. "One moment, I have to ask you something."

"I thought about it too, but Syman could catch us."

Arin had to think for a moment what she meant. Then she bit her lip meaningfully and stared at his sweaty upper arms. Then he had to try not to laugh out loud.

"I didn't mean that, but I'd be happy to visit you later."

Elaine's cheeks turned red. "Oh..."

"I actually wanted to ask... if you think you're expecting a child." The idea made Arin happy.

Still red-cheeked, Elain cocked her head.

"It's possible. I'm hungry, I'm tired but can't sleep, and I have constant cravings for..."

"To?"

"To you..."

Arin felt his own desire make itself felt painfully. Elain noticed and stared straight into his eyes.

"Maybe I should keep my breakfast waiting..." While it wasn't fun working with a hungry Arin, a craving-stricken Arin was even less wanted around.

He hugged Elain and kissed her fiercely. Without a shred of restraint, she returned his kiss and grabbed his upper arms.

"Arin? Your food!" Syman called and was about to open the door when Arin pushed it shut again.

"You can have it."

"O...okay!"

I rested my head on Arin's shoulder in relief as he retied his apron. "Would you mind skipping breakfast more often?"

Arin smiled contentedly and his dimple appeared. "Whenever you want."

"What are you thinking about?"

"The possibility that you might actually be pregnant."

"That would make you happy?"

"Why not? A child from the woman you love. I don't think that's so bad." He put a hand on my stomach like last night. His expression brightened even more. "I think that's going to be the first thing that's going to drive me insane. Watching it."

Suddenly his expression darkened and deep wrinkles appeared on his forehead. I knew why without him having to say anything.

"You're not going to be like your father." I breathed into the tense silence.

Arin didn't move at first. Moments later, he sucked in air through his nose and pursed his lips between his teeth. Some storm was raging behind that petrified expression. And nobody could help him out of it, not even if he wanted to...

What felt like an eternity later, he grabbed my hand and he slowly began to relax again.

"You're probably right... Just look at my brothers. Every one of my nephews and nieces is insanely spoiled."

Even though he smiled wide enough for me to see my beloved dimple, it didn't reach his eyes. They shone so sadly that I could hardly breathe. So I didn't say a word and just agreed with a smile.

"I beg your pardon?" Avan's deep, rumbling voice made Eldonaro sweat.

"She said the bill goes to the Campbells. Lady Elain is said to have arranged it."

Bea snorted contemptuously and arched her back. She was sitting on Avan's table. Actually, she just wanted to reconcile with him and convince him again that the incident with the sword will never happen again. Then Eldonaro brought the new clothes and the corresponding bill.

Avan gave Bea a warning look, who stared stubbornly at the ceiling. What was the matter with the women in this castle? Bea didn't usually act like a maniac either. He had married her because she had that charming demeanor that drove her sister insane. Because she preferred to ride and hunt than to brush her hair and make beautiful eyes at men in clothes. She was cheeky, a brat and never, EVER, shut up.

Now she seemed to be going insane. He had to clarify that later. He would never pay for Florence's expensive dress. Never.

Eldonaro shrank under his focused gaze. His daughter wanted to become invisible anyway, ever since she entered the room.

"Lady Elain then?"

Even Bea peeked at Avan from under her long lashes when she heard his growl.

"Go away."

"I beg your pardon?"

"GO AWAY!"

Eldonaro flinched, grabbed his daughter, and pulled her away.

"Samuel! Call me Joe and Michel! I want to see them here right away !"