Chapter 10: Chapter 10

SPEECH AND ANSWER

I've been able to brush my hair for the first time in almost a week. They finally didn't feel like straw anymore. From my room I could see Mother leaving the cup to Arin and trudging back to the house.

She dropped the stick next to the front door.

Dad was right back in the fields when I skipped dinner and put on a new dress. It was brown and green with baggy sleeves. I braided my hair into a simple blonde braid.

Then I took a Fresh Cloth from my chest, took water and food and went outside to Arin.

Mother must have just been in the pantry.

Arin stood next to Pocket and rubbed his fur with fresh hay. His soothing tone with which he lulled his horse showed me a completely different side of him.

"My lord?"

Arin looked at me and eyed my little one appreciatively.

"That looks more like you, Elain."

His voice was still lowered.

"I'll take that as a compliment, my lord."

Arin nodded. "You are looking very beautiful."

I'm glad he liked my dress. It wasn't really my intention, but it made me happy.

"I have something for you to eat, my lord. Won't you sit down?"

"No thank you." His tone suddenly became hard and stubborn again.

"I do not understand..."

"Your parents showed me I'm not welcome here. So I won't take your food behind your back."

I couldn't say anything against that. Even if I tried to persuade him, it wouldn't do any good.

I gently patted Pocket's flank. He still smelled of the straw.

"You won't leave me here?"

"Is that what you want?" Good question.

Before I could answer that, he had to answer a few questions for me. Arin seemed like a good person. But I only knew him for a week. His reputation as a black knight, thief and family killer still lingered and put me off.

"Where is the boy?"

"In the paddock. I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Not at all."

Had he spoken to Syman yet?

But that wasn't my most pressing question right now. Without further ado, I got to the main point;

"My Lord? Why are you called the Black Knight?"

Arin held the straw in front of Pocket and looked at me blankly. OK.

"Just tell me one thing... are you really a family killer?"

Arin remained silent for a long time. His jaw clenched and his eyes focused on Pocket's muzzle sniffing his shirt. But then he nodded.

As if someone had hit me, I suddenly lost all sense of time.

"Are... are you serious...?"

"Yes."

Never... I just didn't trust him.

"My Lord... Arin. Please tell me what to make of this."

"I can't, Elain."

It was ridiculous that my first thought was Who,. However, I couldn't think of anything else. I took a deep breath and plucked up courage.

"Who did you murder?"

Arin looked me straight in the eye, which almost made me flinch.

"A lousy pig I don't want to talk about."

"That means you let me decide whether or not to go with you, but you don't acknowledge the cause of a murder and you don't want to talk about it either? Does that mean it?"

Arin nodded, still staring into my eyes.

"I'm sorry if that's not enough, but that's the way it is."

That wasn't enough at all. Not in the beginning! Arin... who had he killed? When would he say something like that?

"I'm wanted, Elain. Because of the murder. It's better if you don't know anything."

"But then I'm not sure I can trust you."

That he was wanted was no longer a shock. The fact that the murder rumors were true shocked me far more than the aftermath.

Arin took my hand and placed his forehead against mine. That surprisingly familiar gesture made me freeze, even though Arin's closeness was so reassuring.

"Then you need to think carefully about your next move."

"Is that the real reason we're here? To give me a choice?"

"In the case of Eberhart's castle, I finally decided the matter. I think it's fair if you decide now."

Now he stepped back and laid a saddlecloth on Pocket's back. The horse snorted contentedly.

What would I do now? The thought of seeing Arin and Syman ride away without me depressed me. But so does the shadow side of Arin. I just couldn't put Arin and the Black Knight into one picture. He seemed very different to me than everyone else claimed.

Suddenly, a low, uncomfortable growl broke the silence. It was desperate and hungry. And it was my stomach...

Arin lifted his forehead from mine and lifted a corner of his mouth.

Oh no, how uncomfortable. My cheeks burned hot.

Let me die, God in heaven!

"Have you eaten anything, my lady?"

"No... I wanted to eat with you."

Arin picked up the plate I had placed on the cloth on the floor. Vegetables with bread and boiled eggs. Cheap, but it was enough.

"Eat, Elain. It's your home, don't be ashamed of it."

"And what are you eating?"

"Our supplies."

Arin's provisions consisted only of a little bread. And that belonged to the squires.

"That is far too little."

"Enough with the discussion. Eat."

"No."

"No?" Arin raised his eyebrows gravely and took another step closer. He was so big that I had to look up when he was standing right in front of me.

"I would choke on it if I was full and you weren't."

He stared at me. Must have been trying to intimidate me, but his cute dimples came to mind again. I started to grin. He looked adorable when he smiled happily.

His mouth slowly twisted into a grin.

"Then we'll just share." Arin tore up the bread, lifted some peas onto a piece of bread and held it in front of my mouth.

Then he did the same for himself. He repeated the whole thing until the plate was empty. We sat on the grass and Arin asked me about stories from my childhood.

He didn't believe me when I told him I was a really nice and quiet kid. And laughed when I told him how I threw the whole chocolate pudding on the ground at Eberhart's castle at the tender age of seven. Florence had forbidden it to me because she didn't want me to get fat. So nobody should benefit from it.

At some point we saw Jacob and the men walking from the fields to our cabin. When the men greeted me, Arin fell silent. So I told him about my work back then. I thought he was a little impressed.

"You had wild times." He then laughed and grabbed at a straw.

"It was the best of times so far." Now I sensed a chance to get to know Arin better. "And how did Syman come to you?"

The laughter left his face.