Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It was one of the few days of my life that my parents called me home. Since they left me with my aunt, I only came back when official business called for it.

For as long as I can remember I've been called a bastard. My mother had an affair, I was born and was sent away by Herzog Eberhart, my mother's husband. Even as an infant, I was handed over to Ulrike, who was never able to have a child herself. Ulrike and her husband Jacob have been really good to me. I've always had to work hard, but it never bothered me. Because when I got home, I could already hear the loud laughter of Jacob's men, who ate at our table before strolling with him to the next inn.

Here on Colores, the farm of my two foster parents, I learned to walk, ride, sew and how to till the fields.

But I learned the most important thing along the way. I learned how important love was. Jacob's workers seldom paid any attention to their wives or children. Didn't care if they were needed. But in our house you could feel that Jacob loved Ulrike. The first thing he did when he got home was kiss and hug her. After that, he sometimes fell into bed asleep or disappeared all night. But this small gesture meant the world to Ulrike.

With a deep sigh, I remembered our farewell. They looked angry, as they always did when Eberhart's carriage picked me up. They knew I was kidnapped for a few days to do anything my mother liked like a mute puppet. Especially Ulrike cursed the loudest about this fact.

I missed them both.

When I looked out the window, I noticed that Eberhart's castle was already within reach. In a few moments we would drive through the castle gate and into the inner courtyard of the castle.

The inhabitants of the small village were actually stressed on the way. But when they recognized the carriage, they dropped everything and tried to see me through the now drawn curtains. Like every time I got here.

Some curious dirty boys walked a little way from us and called after me; "Aren't you the bastard from the castle?"

Whenever I arrived in Dorington, I was reminded that I was only dishonorable evidence of my mother's infidelity. And everyone knew that Eberhart just kept calling me to fool everyone into how generous he was. To make up for his lack of talent as a lord of the castle - with false goodness of heart."Look! My wife's bastard, and yet I grant her sanctuary in my castle! Am I not a man of honor?"

This game had worked for a long time.

That's the only reason I kept coming back here. Away from home, from my parents and friends.

When we drove through the castle gate, the boys had to go back. I would have preferred to run away.

"Now get out, finally!" rushed an annoyed voice in front of the carriage, even before we had really stopped.

The voice belonged to Florenz, my actual mother. She pulled open the carriage door impatiently and fixed me with her pale green eyes. Her brown hair was neatly pinned up. Her dress was studded with the most elaborate embroidery and she wore her most intrusive perfume. All in all she had been a beautiful woman. Unfortunately, I came after my unknown father. She always emphasized that when I was here.

Is that why she hated me so much? Because I reminded her of him? Of her mistake? Or maybe even a lost love?

Florence clicked her tongue. “Are you going to finally step out or root here? Looking at you, I'm not so sure if the work will be worth it."

The work. She meant my bath, the scrubbing until my skin was all red, the painful combing and the corset. The god damn corset! Not to mention the thousand layers of oils and creams and scents. "If you at least look like something, they can't ask you to speak!"

Because women are not allowed to speak. Or do or want to do something else of your own volition. God save us! Actually, women were allowed to speak, butIwasn't. Not that anything wrong could come of it.

I looked down stubbornly at my fine brown-green dress. My hair was combed, my nails were clean, and my shoes were clean too.

Florence grabbed my elbows angrily and finally pulled me out of my anger and into the inner courtyard of the castle. She began barking orders and pulling my hair so her maid could see what a hopeless case I was.

"Will you finally run faster, Elain! We seem to have a lot to do!"

Arin finished the last sip of wine and looked around more closely. Nothing in that room seemed to really impress him. If only because Eberhart had furnished the Knights' Hall in such a way that oneshouldbe impressed. Expensive wood carvings on the edges of tables and chair backs, gold-decorated silver cups and bowls full of fruit and roasted meat on bread.

Arin's pride forbade him from even thinking about taking a bite. He would not be bought.

"What do you think these people will have to discuss?" Syman, his little cousin who was also his squire, was more than impressed. Arin had taken him on as a student when he was eight. Now Syman was ten years old and finally could carry his own sword unaided.

Arin didn't care what these people wanted. Eberhart already struck him as an ass kisser. But Syman went on, undeterred.

"Are we going to stay here longer?" He reached across the table for one of the bowls, but Arin immediately slapped his hand away. Syman looked offended. "My lord!"

"We won't stay any longer than necessary."

Now the boy was silent, staring offended at the fragrant warm bowls of meat. They hadn't eaten for two days, finding little money and no opportunity to hunt. And now Arin forbade something tempting for no reason. Damn him...

"I'm hungry Arin."

"Syman..."

"My lord..." he corrected himself grimly and suspected that every further protest and every further pleading was a waste of time. Would Arin even enjoy it. No, there had to be another way...

"My lord? Don't you have to resign? There hasn't been an opportunity since this morning." The squire asked with wide innocent eyes.

Arin bit back a grin. When it came to his stomach, the brat lost all discipline. "Do you have to?"

"No, my lord. And you?"

"No." Arin thought he heard a softdamn . He could tell Syman that he had seen wild boar tracks outside the village and that he would hunt one later. But he decided against it. Let him get angry a little.