Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Sunday dinner is our family’s limited group therapy session. Our mother talks while we all listen. Dad sighs a few times as he pokes at his salad. It was decided that we were to eat healthier because our mother has put on weight. Her sweet tooth flared up after filling the house with wedding cake samples. Vicki and I spent an idle Saturday searching the house for Mother’s stash of cookies and candy bars. After we filled a shopping bag, we went down to the rec room and pigged out while streaming some strange series with aliens that live in caves. Vicki wanted to watch it, but she fell into a sugar-induced coma, and by the time it ended, I was hooked. Our mother freaked when she couldn’t find her chocolate later. Dad had to send out for more to stop the cursing and the threats.

So our punishment is salad and quinoa. I poke at a tomato that refuses to get on my fork. My stomach starts to ache. I’ll drive to the Shimmy Shack later for a burger.

“Victoria, how was school this week?” asks Mother.

“Fine, mother. I want to go back.”

I dip my head down to hide a grin that I can’t keep off my face. The damn centerpiece is between us, so all I can see is a tall glass vase filled with forced bulbs. Huge white tulips confined to glass block my sister from my view. I reach over and push it aside.

“Troy, what are you doing?” asks my mother.

“I can’t see Vicki. I’m tired of talking to a plant.”

“Victoria,” she corrects me. “I don’t want you ruining the centerpiece. Those flowers are delicate.”

Actually, the thing is more solid than I thought, and I probably should have stood up before trying to move it. It’s heavy, and I manage to take the tablecloth with it.

“Maybe we should have the flowers elsewhere when we eat, dear?” Dad frowns at the centerpiece since he can’t see Mother past it. “There are other tables in the house.”

“It’s okay,” I grab my plate and walk around the table, so I’m sitting between Dad and Vicki. “It’s a big enough table to sit where we want.”

Vicki smiles as she sits up straight. Beaming, she almost looks like my sweet little sister again. Not the sassy girl that showed up at Montlake three weeks ago, causing a tsunami of gossip. Mother is just about to say something when Dad shuts her down.

“That’s better,” he nods. “I like it. Now I can see both my children at the same time. And it looks like they’re among a garden in bloom. How appropriate.”

The sarcasm is apparent—but not commented on—as we finish our meals and get the fuck out of there.

***

“God, I am so hungry,” I moan, holding my rumbling stomach.

After dinner, I get my car keys as Vicki asks Dad if he wants a burger. He pulls out his wallet and hands her a couple of bills, so I know the answer is yes. Dad promised to have a talk with the cook, circumventing our mother entirely. The house has three working kitchens. We should be able to eat whatever we want in a separate wing.

But for now, we’re driving over to the Shack before I pass out. “So, what does Dad want?” I ask.

“He wants two cheeseburgers, stacked, and a bag of fries.”

I blink my eyes. “That’s a lot of food.”

“The man is hungry, Troy.”

I smile, watching the road as the sun starts to set. Dinner on the weekends is early, so we have the rest of the evening to prepare for the week. Monday is just a day away, and I have something on my mind. Something I have to discuss with Vicki because it’s getting critical. I don’t know how to phrase it, so I just leap right in.

“You’re spending too much time with Arielle.” My voice is stern. “You need to spend time with other people.”

“Are you still sore that she dumped you for Lucas?”

“I wasn’t sore when it happened.”

“Good,” she chuckles, “because he took a bullet for you. You should be thankful.”

I shake my head and pause as I navigate the traffic circle. “Look, Arielle is bad news. Once you get tangled up with her, it’s hard to get out.”

“Is that why you fucked her and dumped her?”

I wince at the words that come out of my sister’s mouth. I can still remember when she used to blush when she heard the word damn.

“Vicki, ease up,” I frown, pulling into the parking space. I cut the engine. “I’m your brother. You don’t have to try so hard to shock me.” I look at her up and down in her tight jeans and body-hugging fuzzy sweater. When did my little sister get breasts? I’m starting to understand why our mother is so freaked out by Vicki’s behavior. “Just tone it down.”

She says nothing before jumping out of the car. Vicki takes running steps to keep up with my long stride and walks toward the building in silence. I’m really at a loss as to what to do. She’s not wrong though. Lucas did save me from Arielle.

Marriage for students at Montlake is a crapshoot. Sometimes, you get a choice, but for the most part, you’re told who to marry, and you accept it. It’s a business deal like any other. Nothing personal. But Arielle is the type of woman you make deals to avoid. I didn’t get it until we started dating. She took me into her confidence and bragged about the fucked-up shit she would do. Not just to Natalie, but to other kids, for no other reason than she wanted to, or that she was bored, or that they had on a corny pair of shoes or thick glasses. I know I’m no saint, but I can give a reason for my madness. With Arielle, there is no logic.

We step up to the counter and order our food. Vicki pulls out the money Dad gave her, but I shake my head and pay for all of it. Shyly, she smiles as she shoves the twenties back into her pocket. We sit down at a table and wait for our number to be called.

“So, if you don’t like Arielle anymore,” she asks softly, “who should I hang with?”

I met her gaze. “What about Natalie?”

Vicki laughs. “I had a feeling you were going to say that.”

“I thought you liked Natalie when you met her.” I lean back against the wooden booth and stare hard at my sister’s face, reading her expressions that she tries to hide.

“She seems okay,” Vicki starts to explain, “A little confused, but okay.”

“What does that mean?”

Vicki looks at me as if I should know better. “She’s dating all the captains in the school. Like the girl can’t make up her mind.” The corners of Vicki’s mouth curl into a nasty twist. “When do you get your turn, big brother?”

Our number is called before I can respond. I don’t want to continue this discussion here. I grab our bags of food, barely waiting for Vicki to pump out a container of ketchup. She catches up to me in the car and jumps in. Her eyes watch me in the dim light as I back out. And they don’t leave my face while I drive down the dark road heading for our house.

“What?” I ask tensely. “What is it?”

She looks away. “There are days when you remind me more and more of our mother.”

“What does that mean?” I bite out.

“Don’t you think I have a brain?” she asks. “I know Arielle can be a jerk, but she wants nothing from me. And I can’t do anything for her. But I find her entertaining.”

“That’s not a good reason to hang with someone,” I reply.

“Look, I’m not a kid anymore, and I resent you treating me like one. You’ve become just as controlling as our mother. Where’s the protective big brother that I used to have?”

My voice is barely a whisper. “Don’t you think that I’m still trying to protect you? Even if you don’t realize it?”

I pull my car into the driveway and turn off the engine, but we don’t move for the front door. For a long while, we sit there in the dark and stare at the house. The floodlights cast shadows on the carved façade, and at the wrong angle, it looks like a film set for a horror movie rather than a suburban mansion. I want to ask Vicki where my little sister disappeared to, but I know where she went. She got lost at a party and never came back home.

“So tell me about Natalie?” she asks, her eyes staring at my profile again. “Are you that into her?”

I take in a breath. “She’s nice. But it’s not like that. She’s just a nice person. We had some problems, but it turns out that she’s okay. You know, nice. She’s a very nice person.”

Vicki laughs. “You must have said nice in that sentence twenty times. If you wanted to date her, I wouldn’t mind. I might like her better if you dated her.”

“Why is that?”

“Because when you’re around Natalie, you remind me more of the big brother that I remember. You’re more protective and cool, not bossy and a pain in the ass.” She pauses. “Also, when you spend time at her house, you’re less tense when you come home.”

“Come on, the food’s getting cold.” I snatch the bags out of the back seat and head toward the house. Vicki runs behind me, eating a fry that she snatched from the bag. It looks good, and I’m so hungry, I grab a handful. Vicki grabs my arm and stops me before the front door.

“Troy, you’re slipping,” she whispers. “Mother will flip if she sees those bags.”

I nod. “And she’ll confiscate it and eat it later.”

“In her walk-in closet,” giggles Vicki.

We sneak around the back of the house, hugging the walls as if we’re breaking in. The lights in Dad’s study are on, and he’s looking at something on the computer screen intently. Dad’s absorbed by whatever he’s looking at.

“Oh God,” Vicki sighs. “I hope it’s not porn.”

I scowl at her, tapping gently on the window pane until Dad looks up. Like an owl’s, his eyes are circles, and Vicki giggles. I hold up the bags and Dad smiles as he opens the window for us.

“Clever kids,” he beams, pulling Vicki into the cozy room, “I can always count on you two.”

Vicki peeks at the computer screen and laughs. The browser is open to an online store featuring free home delivery. The page is filled with enticing pictures of glazed nuts and dried fruit mixes. “Ordering food online, Daddy?”

Dad finishes chewing a handful of fries. “I earn billions of dollars a year, but I eat like a starved rabbit who can’t afford a carrot. Not anymore.”

Dad invites us to eat in the study, but we sneak upstairs to my room. I had a lock installed, and after the door is bolted, we spread out on the carpet and start eating tasty burgers until we’re satiated.

The night Vicki arrived, Dad texted Mother knowing she wouldn’t read her text during the meeting. I was thankful Natalie was safely gone, but I never did learn why Vicki left rehab and why our mother didn’t send her back immediately. I have a lot of questions to ask, but I’ve been hesitant to learn the answers.

“You changed your room again?” she asks, lying on her back, dangling a fry above her open mouth.

Weeks ago, I yanked down the nautical flags and tossed the navy and white striped bedding into the basement. I told the staff I wanted the room painted, but I had no color in mind. I wanted something lighter, so I wouldn’t feel I was sitting in a dark hole. Dad’s assistant suggested hiring a stylist, and by the end of the week, my room was painted in monochromatic shades of gray. It looks cool, grown-up, and finally, I feel I’m living in my own space.

Vicki switches on the television, but I turn it off. Her eyes are heavy from eating too many carbs much too fast, and she stares at me, wondering what’s up.

“We haven’t finished talking,” I reply.

“What else do you want to know?”

“Why didn’t Mother send you straight back?”

I’m expecting a straight answer. Vicki’s hair’s spread out around her, but it doesn’t resemble a halo. It looks like a headdress made of golden blonde feathers, and she’s ready for battle. I sit up straight, staring down at her, wondering if the answer will join us together or split us apart.

“I thought you knew,” she sighs.

“Stop stalling,” I reply in an even tone; no anger, just firmness. “Why didn’t Mother send you back?”

“I’m engaged, Troy.”

I scoff. “To who?”

Her gaze meets mine. “To Connor Bouchard.”

Fuck. I keep the disappointment to myself. Cora Bouchard’s little brother is an okay kid, but he’ll be no match for Vicki. He’s soft, gullible, and pampered like a toy dog in a tote bag. Vicki will eat him alive. And if she doesn’t, then our mother will.

“I thought it was off,” I reply in a whisper.

“It was until Arielle married Lucas.”

I scoff. “You know, they discussed me marrying Cora once.”

“Do you want to?”

I shake my head. “Not really.” I wouldn’t have minded Cora as a wife. She’s attractive and malleable. She would’ve been less to deal with compared to Arielle, but Cora’s expensive. I’d have to earn twice what Dad brings in to keep up with Cora’s frivolous spending. Cora bragged once that she donates all her clothing to the local church, worn or not, once a year. She seems to think this action alone makes her virtuous. Cora and Connor—trifle and trifling.

I continue, “I always thought that marriage pact was supposed to be for Cora and me. I didn’t think Mother would be so pushy.”

“When you got engaged to Arielle, Mother quickly moved onto the next best thing.” Vicki points to herself. “It’s okay, I guess. I wasn’t planning much for my future except getting high.”

Vicki winces when I kick the foot of the bed with my heel. My mind is racing as I think about Lucas and the misery I see on his face daily. I don’t want to see it on someone else’s. Against his will, Lucas saved me from Arielle. I know he’s in pain, and I feel terrible about it. But it’s different when it’s my own sister. The panic seizes my gut when it’s this close to home. I have to save her.

Once upon a time, Vicki was a free spirit, and when I look at her now, I can still make out that little girl whose feet barely touched the earth. I can handle the stress and the pain, but she can’t. Last time, Vicki chose alcohol as an escape route, but what will she choose next time?

“Vicki, I promise that I’ll get you out of it, one way or another.”

Her gaze leaves mine as she looks at the empty bag lying near her hand. She shakes it, and a fry topples out. It’s hard, small, and misshapen. She chucks it back into the bag.

“I appreciate it, Troy,” she says, “but you couldn’t save me before, so why should I believe you can save me now?”

I move over to Vicki’s side and sit beside her. “Because I’m older, and I can do a whole lot more.”

Her eyes are hopeful as she looks up at me, but her smile betrays the sadness within. “You can try, big brother. You can try.”