Chapter 27: Chapter 27

"You may hold my hand for a while but you hold my heart forever and this has been proved out since ages."

Shree's Perspective

I wore bangles that went well with my red and peach sari and glanced at my reflection one last time before getting up and sprinting downstairs.

"Mom! Are you guys coming?"

"No, take Siyu with you. Your dad and I will attend the function only." Mom said and I called Siya before driving to Rhea's home. It was her engagement today and aunt had relied on me for her make-up and dress. Since she was an only child, sometimes she was purely a mess for her parents.

"Namaste aunty where is Rhea?" I looked around her guests swarming home, only heads were visible here. My wedding. An unwelcomed feeling gripped my heart and I found my eyes getting wet.

"Madam is still getting ready. Beta you're my only hope, go and make something useful of her as she's completely irked the beautician by her pestering." Aunt mumbled, rubbing her forehead and I casted a smile, blinking away my tears. "Don't worry aunt. I'll go and check."

I sprinted upstairs and opened the door to see a completely non-embellished Rhea, pacing back and forth in her room munching cookies and the lady assigned to decorate her sitting on the bed, holding their head.

"What happened?"

"Oh thank god you came, Butu!" She hugged me, whining, "Nothing is going right. I just realized that my blouse color is different shade of golden while my lehenga is of different shade." She showed me the light golden color blouse which wasn't same with the shimmering and orange hued golden of the lehanga.

"What? And you noticed it now? What the hell were you doing up till now you fool!" I rebuffed her, forgetting my own mismatched life and tried to fix a ruse in the situation.

"Pass me the lehenga!" I demanded and her cousin gave me the heavy embroidered golden and peach lehanga. I bit my lip, checking the shades. It wasn't basically that bad as Rhea made it sound.

"Call the designer now. You have her number right?" I confirmed and she called the designer. A few experiments with given material and combination we finally managed to ruse.

"It's looking good!" Rhea gleamed, swirling around as she wore the lehanga and enveloped peach shimmer dupatta around her with embroidery. It matched the dress and didn't ruin her look.

"Thanks!" She squeaked, hugging me and I guffawed. I helped her in getting ready. Soon, the sky colored with multitudinous hues of colors, embracing the peaceful ambiance and Hotel Surya gave a tough competition to newly wedded bride, adorned with lights and sparkles.

Hotel Surya was the venue where Rhea's engagement was to be performed.

"Okay, don't be nervous!" I murmured rolling my eyes, playing the part of companion, standing beside her on the Dias as people gawked at the couple and they were about to exchange rings. Truth to be told, she wasn't nervous. Not a bit, I had not seen such a relaxed bride as her. There were no traces of anxiety, jitters on her face. She was as cool as cucumber.

ESV kicked a remark, 'Because she isn't jumping into a loveless marriage with a Buffon, unlike you'.

Perhaps she was right; perhaps I should've gone for love marriage. Perhaps I should've not associated my heart with this excuse of a relationship.

"Congrats!!" My reverie broke as applauses and whistles reached my ears. I looked around to see that the engagement was done, they'd exchanged rings. A nauseous feel erupted in my throat as snaps of my engagement trespassed my mind. Not sounding to be doomed, I excused myself and let others congratulate her.

"Congratulations!" I hugged Rhea tightly at the end and she frowned, placing a hand on my cheek, "You fine? Where did you disappear suddenly? I was looking for you."

"I'm perfectly fine. Stop worrying about me and enjoy the moment. It's a lifetime event." I pressed a smile for her and she hugged me. Each passing second sending sparks of anxiety in me as Abhimanyu's presence came near. Party was on full swing and my heart races fast anticipating his arrival, how will I meet his eyes? I'm afraid that I would start crying.

"Mum... Let's go back! My head is paining." I pressed my head faking excuse and mom strabimused, "What has happened to you Butu? Are you alright? One week back you were practically jumping in excitement and now you're saying that your head is paining?"

"Mom, I-"

"Let it be Prerna." Rhea's mom interjected and smiled at me, "Go and take rest dear, you seem uptight. Go, I will call you when needed."

Thank God!

"Okay!" I excused myself and hid my wimpy self inside one of the hotel rooms we'd booked, neither I'll see him nor I'll be upset.

I changed into other dress, a comfy one and rinsed my face, removing traces of makeup and combing my hair, I braided a messy style. Decreasing the temperature, I fell on the bed and closed my eyes forcefully, pressing my forehead.

Someone, except ESV laughed at me, how long will you avoid him? One day you've to face him.

Pushing down the thought in back of my mind and blocking all the voices, I slept, tried to sleep.

***

I snuggled closer to my pillow as something warm radiated its heat to me. I felt someone pressing my paining nerves on forehead and drawing circles on my temple, coaxing me into relaxation. My still sleep-laden eyes and tiring limbs snuggled more into the warmth and let the slow music booming outside play its magic with those hard yet warm fingers.

Finger! Fingers?? Whose??

I jerked open my eyes and tilted my head upwards to see the source of those warm fingers. My eyes widened when I realized that fingers belonged to Abhimanyu.

Frowning, I sat up and slid off the bed, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Mom said you've headache and you're resting in the room, so I thought to...." His smile laced words spiked my goose bumps.

I'd missed him. I realized it when he stood closer to me and his cologne; that cucumber fragrance hit my nostrils. Instead of everything, I wanted to crush myself in his arms. So, the news flash was my perverse part finally drove me into mess which made me realize that I missed this extreme excuse of man.

".....I wanted to talk to you." He stated, "Just hear me out once."

He doesn't deserve me, please stop knitting concoctions, you bloody heart. He doesn't want me.

"First thing first," He premised, holding his ear. "I am sorry. I am really really sorry."

I stared him wordlessly and impassively. Not even a syllable he'd spoken to, reached my ears.

"Get out!" My tongue finally showed the manners to save my grace.

"Hear me once please!" His darn lips rolled out pleas. Did you hear me that day?

Wordlessly, I opened the door ajar and showed him the way. He ambled near me and stopped much closer, his presence did affect me but not romantically. The first thought that crossed my mind was to punch his face square and wring his neck and twist his elbow and then...*sigh*....treat him better and kiss him deep.

"Just hear me out. Once." He murmured and I looked down, not matching his eyes, "Please Shree. Give me a chance to explain myself."

"Fine!" I muttered and trudged ahead to go. If he's not leaving, then I'll do it. I walked past two three rooms, completely aware of his chasing and he gripped my wrist, stopping me "Wait!"

I turned around and he glanced to notice the people, he pulled me with him to the room to avoid creating any splash.

"I know I'm wrong but will you please for once hear me out?" He mumbled looking deep in me and I crossed my hands against my chest, "You know you should stop getting under my skin."

"Hear-"

"You always wanted to keep no strings attached right? See, I'm doing it, now what's your problem?"

"I know I've hurt you a lot but..." He clasped my hand and I squirmed against his grip. "Leave my hand Abhimanyu. I just don't want you to touch me."

"Fine" He dejectedly took off his hand and stared me, "I was so angry that day and your words reminded me something. So I-"

"So now what's next? What do you want from me?" I asked passively and he fisted his hands, "Don't say like this. You're not my maid."

"Really?" I feigned confusion. "Up until now, you've clearly persuade me in believing that I was your maid only. For you never wanted to keep this relation, you never respected me and whatever happened that night clearly depicts that you just don't care whether I live or die."

"That's not true." He defended and I laughed, stoically. "Yes, that's so not true. You would've thrown your family members just like me. Wouldn't you?"

"You're also my family -"

"How many lies?" I finally lost my calm, tears dribbled down "How many lies you'll speak to me? How many times you'll palter? How many times you'll play with me?"

He opened his mouth but I showed him my hand, "Just answer my few questions. Did I ever ask you to give me what you can't? Just a little peace and affection that's what I asked for. I've always string along with you even, though a sane girl wouldn't give a shit when her husband divulges that he won't accept her. Still I stood next to you. Didn't I?" I let out a sob.

"But what you ever did? You threw this relation on me like unwanted baggage, because if I want to keep it alive, I've to make sacrifices. I've to tolerate your abominable behavior, your loathing and your completely inopportune anger. Still..." I breathed out, silently crying, "...I've to play this happy doll. Isn't it?"

"I am sure you're here because you've a fear what you'll say to your parents when they'll ask about me. I am right?" I asked and without waiting for his reply, concluded. "So I've decided to put this fear off you."

His eyes dwelling in mine, I could see despondency and pain, but this time it didn't affect me. Don't. Get. Loose. His features got into stew and I looked away, perhaps today's the end.

"I'll divorce you. You don't have to be with me for anyone's sake. I know my family and I know they'll respect my decision, so take your time and send me the papers. I'll sign them." I punctuated my sentence with a sigh and moved out, leaving him alone.

If it's the end, I think it's better if it ends here.

***

"Why the hell are you crying?" Rhea asked for the umpteenth time and I sniffed, rasping out my nose with Kleenex.

"By God if in two seconds, you don't spit it out. I'll come over there and wring that delicate neck of yours." She threatened over the call and I pressed my lips in a thin line.

"I asked divorce from him last night." I mumbled, crying. "I just did that. Finally I did that Rhea. I ruined it."

"Are you crazy? Why the hell are you crying? Shouldn't you be happy?"

"I know i should be but I'm not. It's like I've lost some part of mine. Like the moments we spent were nothing but lies. I don't want to do this. I..." I wiped my cheeks and discarded the tissue but fresh tears wet them again.

"Are you listening to yourself Shree? Have you lost your mind? Moments! What moments? That moment where he declare your marriage null and void? Or, are you talking about the epic moment when he threw you out on the road?" She persiflage and I cried more.

"Use your brain you idiot! It's good if you leave him now. He can't be trusted." She tried to talk some sense in me and I grimaced. It was my fault to call her for emotional support. She must be grinning that I finally cut ties with him.

"I know but I....I just want to kill him and then bring him to life and then kill him again but bring him back to life again and forgive him." I knew I was sounding complete idiot but it was what it was.

Blame my girly hormones.

"You still take a fancy to him. Don't you? What do you think he'll sweep you off feet? You need a serious distraction Darling and that idiot husband of yours needs a calling on the carpet for his callousness." She ruled out my fancy with her flagitious remark. "Abhimanyu is not someone who you desire, Shree. Trust me, you deserve better."

"You won't understand." I snarled, weeping and cut the call. It was my mistake that I called her to seek some tranquility. It was entirely my fault. I did a face plant on bed, muffling my cries in pillow as my mind recalled all our moments. All those moments where he almost behaved like my husband were the moments I cherished. No one understands me. None.

I cried more, recalling his family and him. He must be happy; he's finally gotten rid of his impending baggage. He must be merry being disencumber. Maybe, I deserved better but I still craved for him whereas he wouldn't be possibly thinking of me. Rhea was outrageously right but I just couldn't bring my heart to accept her advice. Tears soaked my pillow. Why did I marry him? Why did he have to be so heartless?

"Why couldn't he just like me?" I mumbled against the pillow and squeezed shut my eyes. I knew I was snooping. It was Tommy rot.

There was only one thing that could help me at that time. I needed to be alone. I didn't want anyone's shoulder to cry upon. I wasn't weak. I wasn't cowardice. I had got the draft of divorce ready but I just couldn't bring myself to send it to him. I just couldn't get myself to reveal his deeds to my family. I just couldn't come to accept that the dream I had woven of happily ever after wasn't going to fulfill with him, at least in this birth. I had no idea how my family and his family would react. Not that, there reaction was going to be against my favors but every time I closed my eyes his image popped up.

I needed to find distraction badly but my heart always posed another question for me. Was there any better drug that could make me sober from the spell of Abhimanyu? I knew that even after this divorce only my body will be with me because my heart had already found its place and it was Abhimanyu's hands.