Chapter 22: Chapter 22

He held her face_

He held her face and care_

He held her face and caressed her_

He held her face and caressed_

He held her face and_

He held her face_

He held her_

He held_

He_

Jessie looked at the screen in front of her and sighed in annoyance. She had been trying to get the perfect scene into writing but nothing was working apparently.

She closed her computer and decided to call it a day. She knew she had to meet a deadline for 5000 words in two days and she had written just 1000.

It had been a year since she had left that cursed town. Left Patrick, Pattie and all their drama behind. But most especially, left Theo.

Jessie regretted the way she had left. Like a thief. No explanation. Nothing. Just a note. She was sure Theo resented her. She resented herself too.

She stood from the desk she was sitting on and went out for a walk, to clear her head. She had never really been able to move on from all what had happened. She didn't regret leaving, because what she wanted, what she needed, what was good for her; all of this were getting messed up in her mind.

Jessie had not changed much physically as well as mentally. Her hair was practically the only thing that had changed. It was no longer the shocking blue it had been. It was now a flaming red. Her skin was as dark and smooth as ever and her lips were still set in a permanent frown.

She reached the park and sat on one of the benches, looking at the passing cars. It was something she loved doing. People watching. And in the city it never got boring. There were endless scenarios to get from a couple passing, two people throwing each other dirty looks, teenagers walking hand in hand and exchanging tremulous looks. It was all so exciting.

Sometimes, Jessie imagined things about her own self. Wondered what people saw when they looked at her. Wondered what they imagined about her, what they thought about her.

She stood up suddenly, and started the walk back home, the sounds coming from the busy streets not bothering her. In the year Jessie had lived in the city, she had become used to these sounds and had even grown to love them. They sometimes made her believe she was not as lonely and alone.

Jessie opened her mailbox and removed all the mail in there, as she had forgotten to go through it for days. Sometimes,there was important stuff hiding beneath a pile of trash.

She got into her apartment, sat on the living room and started rifling through the pile of papers. There was only one paper that stood out to her. A letter.

Automatically, Jessie knew who it was from. Who else sent her letters? In this modern age? Patrick. That was who.

Jessie didn't know how he had found her address, but he had been sending her one letter a week for the three months consecutively.

All of them said basically the same thing.

Jessie, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Please let me make it up to you.

Or,

I still love you, you know. And I know you still have even if it is an iota of feelings for me. Please reply.

Sometimes they got sensual.

Do you remember the first time we had sex? I do. It was wonderful. Seeing you sliding up and down me was perfect.

Then threatening.

Jessie, stop hiding from me. You know I could find you at any moment. And I will. And it won't be pretty.

This one was the pleading type. He sent lots of sweet words and endearments. But she was no longer the Jessie he knew. The one who forgave every thing because a couple of sweet words were thrown at her.

Jessie folded it and kept in a file, where all of the others were. She was going to use them one day. After all, her experiences had taught her a lot.

She closed the Word document she was in and stood up. Picking up her scarf, she decided to go on a walk. Hopefully it was going to clear her mind up a little.

†††

Theo let out a sigh of relief as he finally finished the project he had been working on. He closed his laptop after saving and sending his work then stood up and stretched.

It had been one long year since Jessie had left. And on some days, it still seemed like it had been mere hours.

At first, he had resented Jessie. Asking himself why she had to leave him. But after a while, he realized he was being selfish. Jessie had gone through a lot of stuff. And even though running was not the best solution, it was her idea of an escape.

Theo resented himself too. Almost everyday, he thought about the day Jessie went away. He wished he had done things differently. He wished he had defended her. He wished he had protected her more. And a few words left unsaid had caused him the love of his life.

Sure Theo had tried to see other people. He had gone out on dates of all kinds, met random women who were his "type", if he even had one. But none of them was Jessie. None of them succeeded to rouse those same feelings Jessie had managed to.

So for a while, he had given up. Maybe he was going to meet someone someday but he wasn't actively looking. It was not on his lists of priorities.

For now, he was going to live his life far away from the toxicity of his home town. Here, he could go out freely without being judged for crimes he had not committed and words he had not uttered. He could walk on the streets with no care and no strange or disgusted looks shot his way.

And until he found that person who was just right, he was going to keep living.