Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Lydia’s P.O.V

Someone was sleeping beside me.

That was the first thought I had as soon as I woke up to the warmth of someone’s body and their arms around me.

But when I opened my eyes, all I saw was darkness.

Panic started to set in as I brought my fingers closer to my face and touched my eyelids to make sure that my eyes were indeed open. They were, but I couldn’t see anything.

The bullet was pressing on my optic nerve.

Removing the arm from around my waist, I sat up in bed rapidly while searching around with my hands to remember where I was. Thankfully, I still had clothes on, that means whoever I was with, didn’t do anything to me last night. I was trying to keep my panic at bay, but my movements were jerky, alarmed.

And then I felt movement beside me along with the rustling of the sheets.

“Lydia?” I heard Lyric’s soft voice and relief washed over me immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay.” I reassured him as I placed a hand over my chest to calm my racing heart. I remembered taking off my dress last night, so that was why I was in my slip and underwear. Lyric had brought me up to my room after the party but why he hadn’t left, I have no idea.

“Lydia?” Lyric asked again and I heard more rustling along with heavy movements. He was sitting up. “Lydia? Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” I chocked out. “Just give me a minute.”

But even as I spoke to him, the dark clouds began to subside from my vision and I was able to make out the outlines of the furniture in front of me.

It took some time but soon light returned to my vision, followed by colour and I could finally see things as they were. The room hadn’t been bright to begin with, since all the curtains were pulled shut. The only source of illumination had been the bedside lamp, which wasn’t all that bright.

When I turned to look at Lyric, knowing that I could no longer escape from the truth, his expressions were stormy. He seemed angry, but it wasn’t directed towards me. It was an expression I had seen countless times on my family…anger born out of helplessness.

“What just happened?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

“My vision went blank for a couple minutes.” I shrugged, trying to make the situation casual, but I wasn’t able to lighten the mood.

“Why didn’t you tell me your vision goes blank?” Lyric asked; an edge to his voice.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” I waved him off. “It’s just the position of the bullet. It sometimes rubs off on a few nerves and it causes the blank visions.”

“Let me see,” Lyric persisted as he took my face in his hands and turned my head around to inspect the entry point.

“Lyric,” I took his hands in mine and removed them from my face. “It’s fine, really.”

“Do you have something against people taking care of you?” He frowned. “Because you always push me away whenever I show concern. It’s the same with your parents and brothers too. Why?”

“It’s nothing like that, Lyric.” I shook my head immediately. “I just don’t want people to worry about me over nothing.”

“You have a bullet inside your brain,” Lyric reminded me. “It’s very natural that people will worry about you. And you know why? It’s because they care about you! It’s because you matter to them!”

“I get that my family is worried, but why are you getting so hyper about it?”

“I’m getting hyper because I care about you too!” Lyric yelled. “Because I like you.”

Lyric immediately shut up and looked at me with wide eyes. He hadn’t meant to say that and it was clear from his expression.

“Lyric…”

To say that I was stunned was an understatement. Lyric liked me? The college bad boy, David Lyric Donovan…liked me?

“It’s not possible…” I whispered. “You…you…”

“I like you.” Lyric told me calmly and this time, his expressions were firm and determined, like he had made up his mind.

“NO,” I shook my head vigorously, making dark clouds dance in front of my vision once again. “No!”

“I like you, Lydia.” Lyric spoke firmly. “I like you a lot…and it’s not just as friends.”

“Will you shut up?” I snapped at him, getting out of bed and distancing myself from him as much as physically possible. “It’s too early for this! Are you still drunk?”

“You and I both know that I had only one glass of champagne last night.” Lyric too stood up from the bed, but didn’t come closer. “What’s wrong in liking you? What’s wrong if I feel more than friendship? What’s wrong in wanting to be with you?”

“Everything is wrong with it!” I told him desperately. “Can’t you see it? I’m broken, Lyric! And I don’t want to be a burden to you!”

Lyric came forward then, striding across the room with his long legs within a few seconds. Once he was in front of me, I realized that I had backed myself up against my closet and there was nowhere to run. Lyric put both of his hands on either side of me, caging me in.

“You will never be a burden, not to me, not to your family.” Lyric scowled at me defiantly. “We will care for you no matter what you say.”

“Stop it!” I snapped, unable to control my emotions. “I can’t deal with this right now, Lyric. We’ve hardly known each other a month and you suddenly think you like me? The truth is, you don’t like me. You just want to fuck a stone-faced girl and see how that feels.”

I regretted the words as soon as they were out, but it was already too late.

Lyric’s expression turned stony as he moved back, like I had just burned him.

“Is that how you see me?” He asked me quietly, his expression no long legible. “Is that the impression you have of me?”

“I’m sorry.” I apologized immediately. “I didn’t mean to say that…it just came out.”

“No. You were just trying to hurt me…and it worked.” Lyric backed away even further. “Sorry to bother you. I’ll make sure it never happens again.”

“Lyric…”

He turned to leave but I couldn’t bear to watch him go like this. So, I ran across the room and wrapped my arms around his waist to make him stop.

“Lydia-”

“I’m sorry.” I told him sincerely. “I was an idiot for trying to say those things. I know you aren’t that kind of a person and I used the wrong method to push you away. But you have to understand, Lyric…I-we can’t be together.”

“Why?” His shoulders tensed. “And don’t give me the ‘I’m broken’ bullshit because I don’t care about it. You are perfect, just the way you are and I would never think otherwise.”

“But I would.” I told him firmly. “I…I don’t like you like that, Lyric. I care about you as a friend. I can’t give you what you want.”

Lyric was quiet for a long time. Everything else seemed to be too loud around me, even the ticking of the clock felt like a drum as I waited for Lyric to say something. Or maybe, it was the sound of my heartbeat?

Finally, Lyric let out a sigh. “It’s okay. I understand.”

I felt a sigh of relief escape my lips as well.

“But maybe you need to convince yourself before you convince me.” Lyric told suddenly. “Because the way you’re holding on to me right now…goes against your own words.”

It was then that I realized that I still had my hands wrapped around his waist, my front pressed to his back. I let go immediately and stepped back from him, and Lyric left the room without another word or a backward glance. But I stayed in that position for a while after he left, feeling like I had just lost something precious to me.

Why? I hadn’t lied when I told him that I liked him only as a friend…right? Then why did I suddenly feel so lonely? So…lost?

And that’s when I felt it, the warmth of tears rolling down my cheek.

My insides felt hollow and I wanted to scream. But the only thing I could do was just stand there and let the tears fall, unknowing of the two hearts I had just broken. His…and mine.