Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty- One

ALEX

It turns out that Elena was the one who bump into me. I brought Elaine with me at the cafè which is three blocks away from the apartment. I ordered a blueberry cheesecake and their special vanilla milkshake.I told Elaine to order the same and so she did. We were waiting for our order when she asked “Are you alright?”

“I’m perfectly fine.” I scratch the back of my head and sigh.

"Don't trick me dear," She felt my head and shook his head. “Your generation doesn’t really pay much attention to your health, am I right?” She removes her coat and gave it to me.

"Well, it's uh, it's-"

"This is all about Caiden, right?" I nodded "Can you please tell me what happened? How did you both end up in this mess? I thought the both of you are alright. Please, answer me, don’t try to avoig me." she insisted when I didn't look at her

And so I did. I told her all about it. The same conversation we had. The way I told Caiden how I feel tired of him because he doesn’t really show me who he is. I keep on pestering me but he wouldn’t even tell me his secrets. I was always the one who has been hurt in this relationship

Is this even a relationship?

I don't know when did she transfer beside me but I was suddenly crying on her arms, sobbing like a little girl. She told me to stay strong and I told her that I am. I've always been. She also told me about how Caiden's father and him were too much alike.

"They were both stubborn. They won't even accept it that they are alike"

She told me that Carl, Caiden's father was like Caiden, when Elaine and him are not yet married. They fight a lot and like me, Elaine was also confused on what their relationship would be.

"Eventually, you will find yourself spending the rest of your life with that heartless monster you are talking about" She laughed and continued. "You are just like me; Stubborn and always fighting with him but I change him. I change Carl." She smiled and stared blankly in the thin air.

I don't want to break the moment but I know that this discussion won't be finish if she's like that.

"Elaine?" She shook her head and turned at me "I'm-" I thought for a word to say it "It's useless, he won't-" I sighed and continued, "Maybe you are just lucky with carl. It's not the same for us. He's still a jerk and I'm still the loser."

She hugged me closer and whispered, "You're not. You're brave. You didn't back off and you shouldn't. No matter what happen"

I looked up to see her blue eyes staring at me. Like Caiden he had that deep blue eyes like the sea. Caiden…

"Elaine?" She looked at me and said, "Yes dear"

"I think I'm going to tell him what I feel." I squeaked in a small voice

"Really?" I nodded "Okay then, I'll tell you what to do, First-"

"What to do?"

"Yup" She ruffeled my hair and continued, "First, you should tell him all of it"

"All of what?"

"What you feel"

"All?"

"All." She smiled at me and continued," It won't be hard if you tell him the truth."

"But I'm afraid"

"C'mon where is that fierce girl I saw at our dinner. You can do it"

"But what if he won't believe in me?" she stared at me in disbelief and with that she laugh

"Why are you laughing Elaine?" I snapped at her jokingly.

"Well, you're just too cute when you are irritated"

"Am I?" She nodded at me and hugged me. "You're too huggable and cute, like my Caiden when he's still three. I miss the old days. You better hurry and patch things up with him. I couldn’t wait to meet my grandchildren" I just sat there and stared at her. Not believing my ears. Di dhse just brought that up? She was just like mom. “But, I am only seventeen. And Caiden’s nineteen.”

“Oh, well. Okay. So step number two" She cleared her throat and sat straight "You two should be honest with each other and-"

"But he's the one who keeps on keeping things!" I stated, matter of factly.

She sighed and ran her hand through my hair, "You know, you're like my Caiden when he was still five years old." I sighed again. Why does she keep on comparing me to Him? "You keep on interrupting me" She laughed and my irritation flew with that.

"So, back to what I'm saying. You two should be honest and please, stop snapping like you wanted to kill each other."

"We're not!"

"Ha, I will just believe it when I see it." She smirked at me and bit unto her blueberry cheesecake "Aww, why is this so tasty. I swear to the River Styx that this will be my most favorite cheesecake in the whole world!"

"River Styx? You read Percy Jackson series?" She look at me in disbelief "Of course I did, it's fantastic and I love reading Rick Riordan books."

"Cool" I smiled at her and bit into my cheesecake "Well, what will be my next step?"

"Uhmm," She thought for a moment and after that she became serious all of the sudden. She looked at me and smiled "Third, you should keep moving in the future without caring about your past"

"My past?" I thought about it for a moment. Forgetting my past with Dwayne for a future with Caiden, can I do that? But how did she know?

I looked at my half bitten cheesecake and compared the two of them .Dwayne is kind and caring, Caiden is not. He was a heartless monster who keeps on hurting me.

But anybody deserves a second chance right? Maybe I could give him that.

Or not.

"You know, it's hard to forget what happen in the past but we cannot change it" She tilted my chin and force me to look at her. "Our future, well, we can always change it. We don't know what is in store for us. We don't know what will happen for it's not yet fixed but the past is done and there's nothing we can do about it"

That made me think; Nothing I can do about my past but I can still do anything for my future. I can still have a happy one, if I wanted to. I look at her and smiled.

"That's it! Thank you Elaine, thank you" She looked at me bewildered. I hugged her and left the café

•••

I sneaked in and found him sleeping on our bed. I tip-toed and stared at his face. He's so peaceful and all I want to do is watch him, but he needed to know. We need to have this talk now or never.

"Caiden," I pushed him but there's no response "Cade" He groaned as I slapped him across his cheek.

"CADE!" I shrieked at his ears.

"WHA-what?! Where's the-" He looked around and spotted me sitting on the foot of my bed. "What was that for?" He rubbed his eyes and watched him yawn.

"Well, I'm here to talk"

"Talk? About what?" He sat down beside me in arms length

"About us." I took a deep breath and continued, "About us, Cade"

I waited for him to react violently. Scream at me to get out of his penthouse but he just sat there astounded, motionless.

"Cade?"

"So you're trying to tell me that it's all my fault" He asked me, his voice thick with emotions.

"No!" I blurted "It's not, I am not trying to blame you" He scooted nearer and that made me lost what I am about to say. "I know Alex. I've messed up, a lot actually. I am so sorry."

He stood up and started to pace." You know, I'll just fill you in of what had happen when we first met this summer since you couldn’t remember. I will tell you because I wanted you to remember.”

"I was walking, when I was tackled. You hugged me and called me Dwayne at the park. I was really, like 'Whoa, another girl again?' I'm so tired of the attention and so I got angry" He looked at me and sat on the chair across me. “I scream at you. I'm not that kind of monster you are classifying me into. I'm shocked of my reaction, I wasn't supposed to do that Alex." He looked at me and held my fingers.

" I made my distance away from you for that three weeks of my stay. But then when you did a revenge at me because I rubbed my spit on your face, you snapped. I was about to apologize to you but then when I opened the door I saw you lying on the floor. You look so pale and you are barely breathing!"

"I was so scared on what will happen to you. I didn't know that you have a heart disease. I blame myself for it. My mind keep racing and I don't know what to do." He looked at me intently and sighed "For the first time of my life, I'm scared Alex"

"You're scared? Of what?"

"Of losing someone so dear to me." I was so blown away that I couldn’t make my mind function. Goodness…

"Cade, put me down!" I scream as I felt him lift me up,

"Not unless you say what you wanted to say awhile ago." He flashed me his smirk but I just shoot him daggers. He put me down and held my wrist. “You love me. I know it. Just seeing your confused eyes, I know that you remember.”

After a minute of me being silent, he sighed and let go of my hand. "I guess I'm wrong. I should go now. I'm needed at the office." I looked at him and he seemed so serious. He was about to get up but then I gripped his arm and took a deep breath.

"Your mother and I talked," he suddenly sat down and listen to me."She said if we really want this to work, we should tell each other what we feel and we should always be honest to each other" I looked down and huffed "but I think you won't believe me if I tell you what I really feel."

"Won't believe you? I will, if you'll believe me too!" He stood up and pace again. "I love you Alex. I wanted you. I was not aware of my feelings until later. From the moment you walked up to me at the park, I like you but then you called him. You called me," He paused, glaring at me "Dwayne"

"Stop! Don't bring him into this." I warned him and continued "He’s got nothing to do with this.”

"But you are the one who keep on thinking about Dwayne. And I couldn’t help but feel jealous whoever that fucking guy is.”

“You are the one with that Tiffany b*tch! You won't even answer my calls, messages and even when I ask you to meet up with me. You just keep on hiding things and then blaming me after it”

“You don't know what the whole story is, Alex. There's always been the other side of the coin, the other side of the story. Did you know how much I tried to restrain myself into going with you because I want you to be safe?" He looked so defeated but I won't let it affect me anymore. “you are in danger.”

"But you didn't gave me a proper explanation. You just shove this ring," I remove it on my finger and threw it unto the other side of the room "On my finger and after that, poof, you disappear again. Gone for three weeks and when I woke up again, you are telling me that you have to go. When will you give us time? When will we know our feelings if we won’t even talk about it?”

"C'mon Alex, stop blaming me into all of this! You are the one who makes me pissed off. I tried to make you forget that Dwayne but still," He looked at me one more time before dropping his head " You keep on calling me Dwayne. In everything that I do, you think of him. You keep on comparing me to him. We are different Alex. I'm not the Dwayne you are talking about"

"But you are Dwayne! I know you are!" I pointed at his eyes, his hair, his face. "Look, you have the same eye color, bronze hair, and that crooked smile!"

"Half of the male population here in the America have that same eye color and hair you are talking about" He defended, crouching down to sit on the floor.

"But I'm sure you are him. Stop pretending!"

"I'm not pretending because I'm not him Alex! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not him!" His voiced boom and I look like a little child, cowering.

I wiped my tears and stared down at my hands. "Yeah, maybe you're not him because he won’t do this to me. He is just…he is my first love. I couldn’t. I don’t know how to forget him.” I look at him with eyes full of confusion, "Caiden, please bear with me. My heart keep on telling me that you are him. I can't do anything!" I wiped my tears in the back of my hand as it continues to flow. "I don't care if you are Dwayne or Caiden, I don't care because right now my heart beats for you."

Minutes passed, none of us dared to talk. I look at the other side of the room and found him staring at the space. "When I met you at the park, you called me Dwayne; then at the hospital when you have a heart attack, and the beach when you drown…Not to mention the time when you were kidnapped because of me" His voice was low and barely audible.

"You called me Dwayne again and again. I don't know when you will call me Caiden. Every time you wake up it's him you call and I'm pretty sure that you dream about him, too"

"I'm sorry Caiden. I'm so sorry. I can’t do anything. I am wrong.”

He sighed and I heard a thump. He continue to bang his head on the wall. "I wish I also knew what happened in my past." He blurted out as he pause for a moment.

"Your past?" He look at me and continue banging his head.

" You told me that we should be honest with each other so I tell you this. You are not the only one who can’t remember. Half of my life was stolen from me too, you know?" He said, his voice now different.

"I also have a share of what you are going through Alex." I look at him and notice the look of pain and sadness in his eyes.

"I got into an accident seven years ago" did he just say, seven years ago?

"I can't remember anything. A whole part of my childhood was stolen from me. I was so hopeless for I don't know anything. How to speak, how to eat..." He looked at me and sighed "I don't even know who I am or what my name is."

He chuckled "Silly brain. I don't even know how old I really am, who my parents are. I don't know anything! I was so lost I just let the tides carry me" He let out a sarcastic laugh as he stared at me.

"So you really don't know anything?" He shook his head and huffed."What if you are Dwayne? What if you and him are the same?" I stood up and made my way to him. "You know, there can be a possibility that you and him are...one." I crouched down his level and look at him.

"Still hoping, huh? Can you please tell me all about him because maybe, just maybe" He looked at me and sigh "I'm him"

"Okay" I cleared my throat and tell him all of it. I told him how Dwayne and I met at the park. That he was my best friend. That I love ice creams and he love chocolates; That we both wanted to look at the stars and wish together. I also told him that he is the best swimmer but I left all the info's about that plane crash.

"So why do you keep on telling me that I'm him? Did he ditch you?" He asked, his blue eyes smoldering with curiosity.

"No, his father told him that when he is already ten, he's going to return and manage their business" His eyebrows furrowed as he asked again, "But what happen?"

"He was on a plane on the way here and then it crashed. His body is not found so I assume that he's still alive"

The seconds ticked. His arms sneaked in my knees as he carry me. He plopped me down on our bed and plant a kiss on my forehead. "So what is the next?"

"Next?"

"What my mom told you next" he clarified

"Oh, well she said you should, I mean we should forget our past. Like you forget Tiffany, and I, will forget Dwayne"

"Can you forget him?" I look at his eyes and said, "Yes I could, if you will be there for me" I smiled and he drew me back into his arms.

"Your mother said that w shouldn't be affected by our past for what matters is now and our future." I sat up and stared at him as he played with the strands of my hair "Your mother told me that we cannot undo the past because it's fix and there's nothing we can do about it. But our future, it's not yet fixed. There's so many things that can affect our future. Our past is just a part but what we will do now is what is important."

"But could you do the honor to be with me, that you will stop to think about him" I cup his face and smiled, "I could! As long as you will forget about that Tiffany b*tch" I covered my mouth but it's too late for he is now laughing his head off.

"Y'know I would be honored to do that mi'lady"

"Oh really?" I asked him as he sat up. He pecked my lips before running off to the bathroom.

•••

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