Chapter 19: Chapter 19
Lust or Love?
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Zara
Everything suddenly sounded unreal. I silently wondered what else I didn’t know about my husband’s family. It was funny that we even called ourselves spouses cause in reality, we were nowhere near that.
“How am I even supposed to believe that?”, I reply at his response to my response to my question.
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe me”, he responds. I sigh. How exactly more awkward could things go? I sometimes found myself admiring him then I remember I can’t ever love him. I can never be that perfect princess or love him.
“What matters more is that I’m telling you. Mind you, this is supposed to be a family secret but you’re family, that’s why”, he adds. I’m quick to nod my head in response eagerly waiting for him to explain how.
“My mum was an Italian servant. She used to work diligently until she met my dad at a masquerade ball. He thought she was a princess. Meanwhile, the real princess had snuck out to her lover that night. Things got mixed up and they fell in love”, he pauses for about five seconds then resumes, looking up at me.
I’m quick to look down. His dark orb eyes… They were the kind that you could lose yourself in if not careful.
“Okay. . .”, I trail out, waiting for more explanation. “Their marriage wasn’t easy, you know. A lot of trials and tribulations happened along the way. They however, faced it and when the time came for my mum to let go of her surname, she said she couldn’t. Talked about a particular curse that followed forsaking her surname in her lineage.
One thing led to another. My dad’s love for her made him forsake his surname and he took hers, Moretti”, he rounded up and looked at me carefully. I was presently confused and didn’t even know what to believe anymore.
“So, what was your royal real surname then?”, I asked. He looked relaxed now. Though I felt there was more to it but I was just going to let it slide. Like I always do. “My parents never told me. They said it was safer that way. It appeared they made a lot of enemies in the past”. He sprawled out. I couldn’t help but notice how unsettled he had started to become again.
“Enemies? What do you mean?”, I questioned immediately.
“Sincerely, it’s nothing you should worry about. That was in the past. However, I would like us to end this topic.”, he mouthed out. With a hand slipped on his tousled black hair, he placed the other on my thigh. Instincts kicked in and I meant to pull away but I stayed put. Guess this was my own way of comforting him.
We remained in that position for a while. Until I cleared my voice loudly.
“Do you have a Spanish birth name or you’re doing it for security?”, suddenly, I ask out of the blue. He narrowed his eyes and lifted his hands away from my thigh. “Why do you always fret at the slightest story? Jesus, I have a Spanish name, Zara”, he replied with a mixture of amusement and another hint of mockery. His eyes glistened and I folded my arms in wonder.
What the hell was his problem? Couldn’t he just tell me the facts and truths when I needed them?
Guess we had to go another angle. Lesson I learnt the hard way.
“Just spill it already”, I mouthed out, rolling my eyes. I was beginning to get tired of being on an island with no one on it.
“Alfonso”, he suddenly said. “Sorry?”, I asked forgetting what I asked previously. “That’s my Spanish name, Alfonso”. He simply said. Looking, he waited for my response. I silently admired the name. but I didn’t have to tell him that. It was easy. No complications or awkward moments. “So, what do you think?”, he said, slightly grinning. I pressed my hands on my chin and gave him a steady look.
“Why do you care what I think?”, I ask.
“Oh, Zara. You never change”, he commented. This pressed my nerves on further but I shattered away all thoughts of firing at his words back because it was just no use.
“Zack Alfonso Moretti”, I said. I like the way the name rolls off my tongue. Like I’m entitled to say it. “Sounds good”, I add meekly. This makes him look at me positively. For a moment, I think it’s intense but quickly shoo away that thought. “I’m glad you think that Moya princessa”, he says. His dark orb eyes looked at me in admiration. I opened my mouth to reply sweetly but close it back. He was an asshole and couldn’t give me the type of love life I wanted.
Love life? I don’t need men.
“I think you got me wrong, Zack. What I meant to say was—I like the name but not the owner”. I lie smoothly. Technically though, cause my feelings I thought were developing had just begun to fade away again. I actually doubted they were there in the first place. It was just nothing but lust. Pure lust.
“You sure about that?”, he whispers seductively. I watched with awe as my body tingled all over. I had begun to feel giddy at the fact that he was all on me. Not figuratively though. . . literary.
“Yeah, as long as you don’t try any funny business”. I respond tentatively. I remembered he always knew a way to make me want to kiss him all day. But that was just because he knew the right tabs to push. Wasn’t that what womanizers knew? Too bad I was going to cock block that. . .
“Like what, this?”, he said pulling a firm grip around my waist. A chill goes down my spine. My legs became wobbly suddenly. “What do you want from me, Zack?”, I ask. “Cause I’m done playing your games”, I add. We both made it clear to each other that we could never love each other. That this betrothal was a mistake. . . never should have happened. At all.
“All of you, Zara”, he replied. I stare in surprise at his bold response. He seemed to be bipolar cause he was really saying bullshits and I wasn’t into bullshits.
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A/n
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