Chapter 40: Chapter 40

I stared at him with my mouth hung open while he sat on the extra chair. ‘What are you doing here?’, I blurted out without any prelude.

To my sensible question, he bestowed his reply by raising his eyebrow, meaning- what do you think? I took a quick look at Nathaniel to dissect his reaction and I could see relief coating his face. I couldn’t continue my concealed interrogation in front of Raphael without waving red flags. Instead, I asked him how he found the restaurant?

His previous disposition restored Nathaniel interrupted by blurting, ‘Raphael Sinclair can do anything, find anything if he so wishes. This is just a child play for him’, a fit of inconspicuous jealousy is hinted from his expression which he cloaked when Raphael turned towards him. So, that’s how things are?

‘Not everything’, Raphael replied for the first time while looking at me with heat.

Sexual tension engulfed us as his heated gaze met my eyes with such electricity that for a moment, I thought I could get a shock without touching anything. Even Nathaniel is not immune to it. He could tell from our body language. He was guessing before now Raphael confirmed it with just a stare. To diffuse the tension I said, ‘Imagine my shock- I thought you achieved infallibility in the cradle’.

At my retort, Nathaniel burst out laughing. Great! Instead of pumping him for answers, we are entertaining him, my inner critic preached. Raphael’s stare promised retribution for the dig I took at him.

After that, our lunch continued with a generic discussion. Nothing out of ordinary unless you observe the details. Like, the jealousy and double entendre Nathaniel regularly uses while dragging Raphael into discussions. The amused stare Raphael giving to Nathaniel is like a boring elder making time for a pestering child with great reluctance. Unless I missed my guess, Raphael Sinclair is giving his brother the attention he gives to a bug. I felt bemused by the turn of the events; I couldn’t believe I’m having lunch with them, making normal conversation, as if the abrupt, searing moments don’t happen. At last, the lunch came to an end.

Before we could leave Nathaniel put his two cents by muttering, ‘We will meet again baby. You mark my words’ while trying to hug me. I quickly cut him off by putting my hand forward for a firm handshake. He gave me a sly grin saying, ‘Until we meet again’.

Yes, can’t wait to meet you, my critic said sarcasm dripping with every word.

‘Are you running to win the Best Stalker Award or something? What was that all about? Why did you come? Your brother must be deterred with your nonchalance but not me’, I asked Raphael once we were alone safely in his office.

Unlike me, he projected the calm of Yoda and Obi-Wan combined while leaning back against the desk looking deceptively relaxed. I had seen him use similar tactics in the office to lull his clients into a false sense of security before maneuvering them right where he wanted them.

‘It would have been better if you are too’, he said with a straight face.

‘Haha funny. What? Raphael Sinclair cracking jokes now? Next thing I know you would be doing stand-up comedies’, I said sarcastically.

‘Don’t hold your breath’

‘Oh, trust me, I’m not. It’s not funny Rafa. Why are you everywhere? whenever I turn my head, I find you, why? It’s like you know my every move before me knowing myself. This is not healthy. How do you know where to find me every single time? It’s not like I have an internal tracking chip. I know we are in a relationship, but this is borderline stalking. Are you still putting men to follow me?’, I gritted the last sentence out controlling my anger.

‘What do you want me to say? That I have men following you to learn more about you? More about whom you are meeting when you are not with me? More about what do you do- what do you keep busy yourself with when you are not with me?’, he uttered.

‘That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it’, I said deflating his thoughts from taking that direction.

‘I know what you mean, Erica. This is my way of prevaricating’, he said taking my lead.

‘Then tell me why? Why Raphael?’, I repeated my question.

‘Would you believe if I say because I doubt your integrity?’

‘Never. Because I know you better. You would never make love to me if you think I’m being dishonest’, I said with all certainty.

‘Damn it, Erica. You should question me. Shout at me, retaliate by saying-how dare you. But not this easy acceptance. I’m losing my touch. People won't fear me anymore if your opinion of me is known outside’, he dragged me near him with his hands on my shoulders.

‘I’m shaking in my boots’, I teased him, and he cast a significant glance at my sandals.

‘So, I see’. He replied drily. ‘Sometimes, Erica, it scares me the image you keep of myself in your mind. I wonder whether I could ever match up to it’, he said for the first time letting me know his doubts. This side of Raphael is new to me. This self-doubting one, who admits he is scared.

‘So, the big bad wolf has a vulnerability after all’

‘Only with you. Don’t let it be known to others. I have an image to keep up’, he whispered near my lips.

‘I would never’, I promised by kissing him. Never to be missed our kiss flared out of proportion. I responded wildly, completely, as I always would with Raphael. There was nothing he could take that I wouldn’t lay gladly at his feet.

Once we came out of the Netherlands, I asked him again, ‘Promise me Raphael, no more security detail’

‘No. I don’t want to know what will happen to you if you are in a position like last time’

‘That was one time. Anyways they are dead as police claims, so it’s kind of moot’

‘No Erica. I want to know that you are always safe’

‘I’m. I can take care of myself’

‘That’s not how it was last time’

‘I said it was not going to be an issue anymore. So, leave it. I respect you, Raphael. I deserve the same respect in return. Please do not question my preferences. It took me a long time to be an independent woman, not to depend on others for anything. Please don’t make me depend on you. Then I would start expecting things from you. Things that may hurt me if not happened. I love you, Raphael. I really do. But that doesn’t mean I want to lose my hard-earned independence. Please understand where I’m coming from’, I poured my heart out.

‘This is important to you, isn’t it?’

‘Yes. Very’, I said to him looking into his eyes.

‘Then I promise Erica. No more security detail. No more men following you always. No more I know where you are. But you must promise me that you will contact me at the first sign of danger. No being daredevil. Promise?’

‘I promise’.