Chapter 5: Chapter 5

You can never judge a book by its cover. Old phrase right, and maybe the most practical phrase for life. Everything around is a facade yet a truth. They say that the happiest smiles hide the deepest pain and today Zain Amir realizes how true that is.

Amaya Kareem is the happiest person Zain has ever met in his life. The one who laughs at his every lame joke, the one who always smiles, the kind of smile that reaches her eyes making everyone around smile along with her, the one who spread happiness wherever she goes, the one who lives her dream and loves herself too.

But today while sitting next to her, he witnessed the most painful site of his life. There is a smile on her face yet her eyes tell another story. Her brown orbs have tears in them, showing the pain, the sadness, the loneliness of her life. And this made his heart clench, he simply wants to take all her pain away and fill her life with happiness.

Silence engulfs them as no one knows what to say next. Zain Amir is simply shocked after knowing his best friend Amu is a divorcee. Not like he is judging her, but she is hardly twenty-three now. Seeing that this silence is just making things uncomfortable between them he breaks it.

" I don't know what to say. Like what's your age Amu?" This made her laugh, out of everything he decides to ask her about her age. Zain Amir is surely her true friend.

"Well, I will complete my twenty-three summers in three days."

"Okay let me save the date first, I don't want to miss your birthday girl. Wait it's a special day already." Zain said talking about saving the date on his phone.

"Seriously Zain. Like seriously out of everything you are here worried about my birthday treat." This made her laugh again, all the painful tears are now gone.

"Amu yaar. Look I really don't care about anything when it comes to food, okay, and it's your birthday treat and that means free food, and damn girl only an idiot will miss that chance."

"I am blessed to have you Zain, seriously I am."

"Ohh thanks, woman, and the feeling is mutual."

"Don't you want to know about it?"

"Honestly, yes I am curious about it but this is not me wanting it to know, it's about you wanting to talk about it or not. You just told me about your parents and I saw how painful memory is for you. And this thing is much worse than that.

The separation between parents when you were young, is already something heavy you have to bear, then the same thing happened with you too, and this time it would have been terrible, and I simply don't want you to visit those haunted lanes of memories because of me. I don't feel sympathy for you, I feel proud that you didn't stay somewhere where you never belong to. And about knowing it, you can always share that whenever you are comfortable with it."

"Honestly that's very thoughtful of you. You know Zain I never talked to anyone about it, simply because I don't want to. But today I can say it. It's not as complicated as people think, we got married when I was just eighteen and after two years six months, we got divorced, simply because I was not happy in that relationship."

Things are always simple for Amaya Kareem. She faced many things in life, being from a broken family did that to her. She had only one fear in life that is being alone, yet years later her happiest dream became her worst nightmare. She had spent nights crying, screaming just in hope that someone would not leave her alone. She stayed in a namesake marriage for that too, but then she finds herself and staying there is no more an option so she simply left.

And now when someone asks her why her marriage didn't work out, for her the answer is simple, because they were not happy in that marriage, at least she was not and if she was not happy, how could she keep her husband happy? So they simply parted their ways.

That's the story Amaya Kareem knows, nothing more, no blame games no regrets, and obviously no accusing from her part. Amaya chose a simple closure for herself and that's it. Now she wants to live in the present making new memories with the new life ahead.

"Do you regret it?" Zain asked, this is something he really wants to know, maybe for his clarity, because he didn't regret loving Hadiya but he also didn't regret not telling her and letting her go. So knowing the feelings of Amu will give him some kind of validation that either he is wrong or right.

"Honestly Zain, no I don't regret anything. I don't regret falling in love with him, neither I regret marrying him. I was insanely in love with him so I got married to him. And I don't even regret leaving him. I tried my best to save my relationship, to save my marriage, I honestly did.

But when he decided to come back, it's simply too late. My love for him didn't come with an expiry date but my waiting period did. I forgave him many times, gave him chances too but alas one day I realized that I was not happy there so I left. And I don't regret any bit of it." And that's it. Zain got his answer, he is not wrong, and Amu just makes him feel that.

"So you don't love him anymore?" He asked this, he has to.

"Zain one can never unlove the person they have loved once. That person held a large part of my heart for a long, so I can't simply unlove him. A part of me will always love him no matter what, that part died when I left him and is kept buried deep in a forbidden corner of my heart. And now I am making new memories and the old ones are fading away behind those bags of dust."

"So you will never fall in love again?"

"Now that really is a funny question Zain. What if I ask you this?"

"I think I will fall in love again. Simply because I know what I want now, and she was never the one I wanted. Love makes us do crazy things right, maybe that's the craziest thing I did in love, I chose to love someone I never wanted. So this time I will fall in love, with someone I want, even if it means to get my heart broken again."

"Well, that's the thing you need Zain, courage. You can fall in love as many times as you have the courage to get heartbroken. And about me, I just know I won't stop myself from falling for someone, and if someday I fall for someone I will hold him at least for once and if he will want to let go, I will let him go too.

But I will always have the courage to fall in love again crazily, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly perhaps before all this I will always remember to love myself a bit more."

The breezes touch her hairs, and Zain Amir loses his heart to someone he wants to grow in his life. Amaya Kareem is not just his friend now, she is the peace he wants for himself. A kind of peace one finds in their home. Home is where the heart is and Zain just lost it to someone and he is yet to realize it.

Those words sound quite familiar to him, yet today they make a different sense to him. Today Zain and Amu kept their souls naked in front of each other. And they have each other to protect that. Today the fears of the past are gone, and the hope of a better future is much stronger.

// umr-e-daraz maang ke laayi thi chaar din

do aarzu mein kat gaye doo intezaar mein //

a long life, four days in all, I did ask for

two were spent in longing and two were spent in waiting.

~SEEMAB AKBARABADI~

Who said only falling in love is the most beautiful feeling, falling in friendship is much more beautiful, it is an eternal feeling. And in friendship the efforts are equal. The most beautiful bond. And today these two beautiful people fell more in their friendship.

Zain holds Amu's hand while keeping his other hand around her shoulder bringing her closer to him hugging her from the side, Amu keeps her head on his shoulder shedding a lone tear as if letting go of the last bit of pain left in her. The sky is witnessing this beauty of the moment painting itself Serein.