Chapter 22: Chapter 22

December chills are as pleasant as torture for him. Cold breezes sway around, stifling amongst the trees whispering tales of past, pain flies in them, grief smiles a little with those tiny mists.

Sad smiles.

But he is content now. Past is buried behind those curtains of reality. At least she is happy now. So what not with him.

And past is gone, long faded, even the echoes left. A sigh left his lips, a smile lingers there, a content smile.

He closes his charcoal orbs leaning to those soothing fingers on his hairs.

Peace.

Years later he has finally found peace.

"I needed this you know."

He whispers, letting her know he missed her.

Past months were tough, he walked his Maya down the aisle, ripping his heart with bare hands.

After that, he left, like he never existed, engrossed himself in cigarettes and work.

Oh, how she hated those!

But she is not there, never will be.

A bitter truth he drank in a single breath. Ahad Ahmed Khan had accepted the reality this time, quite well.

"That's why I asked you to come here. I know how much my son missed me."

Looking at this thirty-one long summer lad of hers, she can't help but smiled.

A sad smiled.

He suffered enough, lost enough. And all while she can't protect him, he had fought his battles alone, survived alone.

Seeing him reminds her of a certain girl of hazel brown orbs, Amy. Someone too dear to her and her husband. How much they used to love that little girl. Alas, a storm had passed by, ruining all the blooms of love and relations.

Relations are complicated.

But that passed. Now is another night after the storm, and they survived through it. Grief and loses, pain and tears, thunders and rains, every reality of the universe against them, but they survived.

Amaya did, Ahad did.

And she is happy for them both.

"You know last night I was seeing those albums."

"Which ones, Amma?"

"Old ones."

Old ones, a sad sigh.

But there's nothing to hide anymore, it's a reality now.

"London days?"

"London days. When your Abba was there, remember how you two brothers used to run around the street. Allah, those days, I wish I just could frame those"

How she wished that stayed, but never did.

"Our last summer there."

"I was so happy you and Arhaan left for that stupid camp."

"Just because you spent the whole summer with your beloved daughter." A throaty laugh left his lips.

Good old days.

"Amy will always be my daughter"

A sad smile.

Amaya Kareem could be just his ex-wife, that would be so easy. But life is everything but easy. She is a family even before he knew it.

"Why didn't you go with Seher to meet her at Saira Aunty's place, then? I know you miss her."

"I do miss her, but I will meet her some other time. Tonight's dinner is for them. My presence would actually make things awkward, more than it already is."

"I just want to see Maya's reaction when she heard you say that."

"I won't dare to say it before her."

"She loves you Amma, don't overthink."

"I know she does. And I'm not overthinking, I'm just stating the facts here. It's not easy for her, my presence would only make it worse. She is my daughter Ahad, but with that she had a history with this family."

"She is happy with Zain."

"Zain deserves it right."

"She deserves it more."

"What?"

"Happiness."

"You deserve it too, Ahad."

"I'm good Amma."

"I know you are. And I'm proud of you."

Eternities.

It had been that long she told him this.

"One day you will make us proud Ahad. Rubina Aunty, Ahmed uncle, everyone. "

"And you?"

"I will always be proud of you Ahad."

"I will always love you, Maya."

Eyes shimmer a little, breezes still carry her words. Memories he breathes with every air, cherish with every beat.

Smiles.

He rests his head on her lap, her fingers keep soothing his hairs, taking all the tiredness away, at least for now.

Opening of the gates brings them out of the haze, as Arhaan enters with Seher and the sleeping twins.

"Salam," Seher said.

"Aren't you suppose to stay there, Seher?"

"I called Arhaan, as the dinner got cancelled, Amma."

"Why?"

"Zain got some urgent meeting to attain, I suppose."

A bad feeling engulfs his mind but he shook it out with a sigh. Arhaan smiled at his brother.

"Let me just put these two in bed" He left with the twins.

Seher keeps her glance at his fading figure. Love is prominent in those. Seher Mirza and Arhaan Ahmed had a story of their own, a history no one wants a recap of.

Seher ka intezaar uski Mohabbat ka hissa tha.

As his mind shamelessly roams around the lanes of past, Seher's silence and fake smiles came to picture. His brother didn't do justice with her. But at least Arhaan realized, where there is still time, at least.

Seher looks at him, she knows what he is thinking.

Pain stays, everywhere.

Even if she had forgiven Arhaan years ago, she hadn't forgotten her pain. Ahad hadn't forgotten that unfaithful night.

Seher lost her baby, a pain she survived all alone.

A pain Ahad knows very well.

"I will make some coffee for us." With that Seher left.

Ahad follows her, a habit they had grown over the years.

"Everything good?" Seher asked taking out stuff.

"Yeah. Better than I thought of."

"You know you can share anything with me right?"

He knows he can. She knows more than anyone else. She tried at least.

"How is she?"

"Amaya? She is good, better than I thought she would be."

"She survived all alone."

"She did. I had you guys with me, but she had been on her own. She is a gem."

"I know. A gem I never afforded."

"That was past."

"Now is present."

Seher hugs him. Her friend had suffered enough.

Leaning on the kitchen door, he looks at those two, talking heart to heart. Time flies, but the regret is still there in a thin film of air, which Arhaan breathes every time.

He had left, when he should have stayed. So much was lost, so much was suffered. But now they are healing, slowly but surely.

"They always had each other's back."

Rubina's sudden voice make him back to the present.

"I should have been here."

"You should have, but you were not."

A truth she said loud and clear.

"But now you are Arhaan, so make the most of it. You will make it up now."

"Amma."

A call so pure, a call so soothing.

She hugs him. Now is better than the past. They are healing.

◆●◆●◆●◆

Cold December nights, gramophone in the background, and warm Badam milk. All favourites of Saira. And this time someone else is here with her too.

Mirza Amir.

Someone who has always been around. Not as a husband, but as a good friend.

"It's getting cold here, Saira"

"But I love this weather."

"I know, you do."

"When is your flight, Mirza?"

"Tonight."

"You should meet Zain before leaving."

"I don't think I can make time for that."

"Because you decided to stay back here, rather than heading home."

"I want to have some time with you, rather."

Smiles.

Sad smiles.

Years of separation makes to held every ounce of happiness in a tight grip, every uncia of a minute to spend with them tighter.

"I really like Amaya, you know she reminds me for someone."

"I know you do Mirza. You love that girl, and she does too. Maybe because you both are filling voids in each other's life."

A void of a father, a void of a daughter.

"Maybe. Amaya is a survivor. She has everything I want in my daughter. And she accepted me with open arms. Seher never did that, and she had valid reasons for that too."

"Seher forgave you long back."

"But she never forgets. And she shouldn't."

"I think we are good like this Mirza."

"I prefer this too, Saira."

"Amaya and Zain are good together."

"They are. Amaya reminds me of you, Saira."

A sigh left her lips, she rubs her hands together tightening the shawl around.

Amaya reminds of Saira. She does.

"Our battles were different, Mirza. But similar too."

"That's why I admire her more."

Holding her hand, he keeps gazing the starry sky, midnight glory is nowhere to be seen, yet his night is not dark. Saira's either. They were friends before lovers and that stayed, always will.

A cold gust passes, taking all their worries along.

The present is better.

◆●◆●◆

A gust of smoke mixes with air, another puff fills his lungs, damaging it, warming it. Darkroom as dark as the starry night sky, like his life without her.

Like now.

She left without a word. She is lost. And he wants to find her. He needs to.

Zain Amir needs to find his Amaya.

But he can't.

A ghost of words echoes in the air, choking him.

"If you lost me one day, I don't think I will ever want to be found again."

That was three winters ago, but today it made sense, it is piercing his skin.

Another cigarette burns out completely, fifth in a row.

She hates it when he smokes.

But she is not here.

Hope is.

Hope has to be, the only thing that will keep him alive through this lonely night. She will be back. She is his home.

"You should never make other your home."

He read that somewhere. But he did, she did. And that's killing him now.

She is lost, he lost his home, again.

◆●◆●◆

She steps out of the Cab, with winds dancing at her arrival, welcoming her back. She came here after years.

Seven long years, and an eternity of pain later.

Amaya came back here, Lucknow, where it started.

Where she lost a life, where is lost her peace. Where he lost her.

Only one person in her mind,

'Ahad'.

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