Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Camilla sat on a chair at the beach staring blankly at the sea, she just got off the phone with her daughter Lora and was feeling so heartbroken as she could not even speak properly with her. She feels more miserable now that their conversation replayed in her head. “How can you hang up on her in that manner, Camilla?” she asked inwardly, turning her gaze away from the sea to some of the people that were playing by the sea side too with probably their friends and families.

There are so many other people here by the sea side that are probably on vacation too and are having a wonderful time with one another but Camilla seemed not to notice anyone of them since she got off the phone with her daughter. She unconsciously turned her gaze back to the sea, staring blankly at the it, she is so focused that anyone passing by who saw how she gazed steadily at the sea would think she is lost in admiration of nature.

She came here on a vacation with Miguel, who left few minutes ago to get something for them to drink before she received the call, when she first saw that it was her daughter calling she contemplated whether to take the call or not since she already knew the reason for her call.

Days have passed since her daughter graduated and she have not summoned enough courage to call her and now that she had called her she still could not speak to her properly. She has missed her so much but still could not bring herself to talk to her because of the guilt she felt inside for leaving her in the first place. She blinked her eyes a little and continued gazing at the sea.

Camilla never thought that she would be separated from her daughter like this, growing up in an orphanage she had wished for a family of her own, that’s why when she got married to Lucio, she was happy and had imagined a united and blissful family of her own, her joy knew no bound when she learnt that she was pregnant with Lora, little did she know that it will turn out like this for her.

“My baby called today again and I couldn’t stand the sound of her voice.” She thought, still recalling how her voice sounded over the phone and how she had hanged up, feeling afraid or rather ashamed of herself at her daughter’s call.

Slowly her thoughts drifted to that horrible nightmare she always had and that look she sees on her daughters face. “I wonder what that look on her face means?” she thought and shook her head, wondering now how Lora would look after she spoke to her like this, she must despise her, a voice in her head replied to her thought too immediately.

What she does not seem to understand is why she still dream of her at that young age? She was exactly that age when she left her, but she’s all grown up now. Camilla wondered still recalling the dream and the way she spoke to her now over the phone.

“If only I had stayed back, at least for my daughter’s sake, but what about me? I was dying inside.” She thought, and unconsciously knitted her both hands into a fist as she recalled the way she had left her daughter, her dream flashing through her memory again.

She also have to leave her life she thought, look where she is now, who knows if she had stayed back in that marriage with Lucio, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten the chance to know her real identity, not to talk of owning businesses of her own.

She was a young girl then, full of dreams and aspirations and she wouldn’t let that go for one over controlling husband and the price she had to pay was losing her dear daughter, Lora. She could still picture her daughter standing that day across the street on her sixteenth birthday, she had promised her daughter that she would come for her, but failed again even after she got so close to her.

Camila had made up her mind that day to steal her daughter Lora away from her ex-husband Lucio, because she could no longer bear staying away from her but Lucio as always has a way of stopping her, he had planted people to watch Lora’s every move.

“I almost had my daughter… I almost had my daughter in my arms.” She thought and held her knees together and bit her lower lip bitterly as it started to tremble a little. If only she hadn’t gotten married to a man like Lucio Affanso, maybe everything would have been different. She would still be with her baby Lora. “Oh my Lora.” She thought again and then, took out her wallet from her hand bag sitting beside her, and brought out a picture of her daughter when she was seven years old.

Camilla held the picture up and kissed it, then put it on her chest and closed her eyes as thought of her marriage with her ex husband Lucio Affonso and how they broke up replayed in her thought. Her marriage with Lucio was so unbearable that she had to divorce him after eight years of their marriage.

The first two years of their marriage was a happy and pleasant one, although Lucio’s mum never liked her very much because she grew up in an orphanage with no identity, his mum saw her as someone who would ruin the reputation their family had.

Lucio changed into someone she never dreamed he would become. First was the late nights, he stopped coming home early and later it became worst, that he would not come home for some days and would not explain why.

She’d dare not complain about it, else she would be beaten up by her husband and her mother in-law, Lucio’s mum saw nothing wrong in it, instead she would blame her for her son’s bad habits as if coming from an orphanage was a good enough reason to make a man stop loving his wife.

It became so unbearable that she had to leave him. She looked at her daughter’s picture again, her lovely daughter’s picture and bit her lower lip yet again, if only she had known and taken her along with her, she thought, still biting down her lower lip, as she recalled the incident over again. If only she had the resources to take care of her daughter like she does now, she had no money at time and the only place she thought of going back to was the orphanage where she was raised and going back there with her daughter would not be nice as she had thought especially since she knew that Lucio would come for them and would take her back from her, besides, she felt that Lora would be safer and well taken care of back in her dad’s care than the orphanage until she made something of herself to come back for her.

The first few years after she divorced Lucio and had found out that she could not get custody of her daughter, had been hell for her, she cried herself to sleep every night holding her daughter’s picture, it was Miguel who had helped her get her sanity back because she was already losing it.

“If I had as much money then as I have now, I would have done anything and everything to take you with me.” She said, peering at the cute little Lora in the picture, and kissed the picture again.

She had tried to get custody of Lora then, but Lucio being wealthy and influential too wouldn’t let that happen, he knew taking their daughter from her would serve as much punishment to her for divorcing him.

It’s this guilt of leaving her daughter at such tender age that made it difficult for her to talk to her even on the phone.

She wasn’t even given the chance to be there for her daughter because of the restraining order issued against her.

“I feel like am a stranger to my own flesh and blood, oh! Damn you Lucio...” she said narrowing her brows as she gazed at the sea as if she was talking to it.