Chapter 30: Chapter 30

We spend the day on the beach, eating food, laughing and talking about everything and anything. I lie between Tobias' legs, a blanket draped over us as we watch the tide and the waves. There's almost a magical element hanging in the air between us, a spark and a connection that simply feels right. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, my shoulders relaxing. Behind me, Tobias' arms wrap around my shoulders and he places his chin on top of my head gently.

"I've haven't felt this level of peace for months." I tell him truthfully. I can feel movement in his face and I know he's smiling when he speaks —

"Neither have I. What do you say we move by the beach and have a million kids?" He says, a playful tone to his words. I let out a small laugh.

"A million kids? You are joking, right? Please tell me you're joking."

"Maybe like five or six." Tobias chuckles, his chest vibrating behind me. A smile lights up my face and I snuggle further back into him. The warmth from his body heats me up, sending me further into a state of relaxation.

"I think you'd make a great Dad to our five or six kids and ten dogs." I joke with him. He reaches forward for my hand, intertwining our fingers together. The sound of the waves crashing into one another fills the comfortable pause between us.

"Do you really think so? I've never thought about having children until recently. I didn't think I was a good enough person." Tobias says and I pause as I sense the insecurity behind his words. A wave of sadness hits me and I turn around, studying his face. It's expressionless beside from the glimmer of sadness passing through his eyes.

"Really?" I question and he nods, explaining further.

"I've always felt so . . . Detached from the world. I look at Jake and Emily and what they have and it's almost suffocating to watch because I don't think I'll ever have that myself. I'm happy for them and they have the most perfect little girl and I love being an uncle but I constantly question whether I'm good enough to be a father to my own children."

I don't speak for a moment, stunned at his sudden raw honesty. I blink several times, realising that Tobias and I are so similar than I originally thought. The constant questioning of whether we're good enough or whether we'll ever find that happiness we see all around us.

"Tobias, you are a good person. You're allowed to get your happily ever after too." I tell him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. His eyes flicker over to meet mine and he smiles, warmth spreading through his features.

"I've done some terrible things Sugar." He mumbles. I reach up with my spare hand, resting it on his cheek.

"We all make mistakes. You learn from them and move on and that's what we're both trying to do. I don't judge you for your past Tobias, I never will." I tell him softly. He closes his eyes and leans further into my palm, his cheek radiating warmth.

"How did I have you in front of me this entire time and never really saw how amazing you are until recently?" He questions. I smile at him, knowing he's referring back to his previous toxic relationship and heartbreak he endured.

"It wasn't our time. We found each other when we needed it the most." I respond. The heartbreak we've both been through moulded us into the people we are today. Without the bad times in life, we can't appreciate the good. I wouldn't have been able to appreciate how loving and forgiving Tobias is if I didn't experience the past few months.

"I don't plan on letting go either." He mumbles, placing a tender kiss on the inside of my palm. Butterflies flutter inside my stomach and I smile, biting down onto my lower lip. His eyes flicker up to meet mine before they drop down to my mouth.

"You shouldn't bite your lip in public, I can't be held accountable for my actions." He smirks, his confidence returning. I roll my eyes, unable to stop myself from giggling at his suggestive words. I suck in a breath when he suddenly leans forward, his hand trailing to the back of my neck and disappearing inside the strands of my hair. He gently nudges me towards him, eyes fluttering shut as his lips part. The second our lips touch, he releases a breathy moan and I feel my stomach tighten at the sound of it. Our lips move in a synchronised pattern, both of us hungry for more. When I pull back, I notice the sky around us beginning to darken ever so slightly.

"We should go." I whisper, looking up into Tobias' lust filled eyes. The sight of them causes my throat to dry out and I begin to wonder how his eyes would look as they roam over my body.

"How about we stay here for the night? There's an amazing hotel right by the beach." Tobias murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. I bite down on my lip again as I think about it but seconds later, I'm already nodding.

"I don't want this to end just yet." I say which causes him to break out into a wide smile. He stands up and lifts me with him. When I stand, his arm automatically wraps around my waist and he pulls me beside him.

"That was very over protective." I say playfully, trying to clear my mind of our earlier kiss. It's severely distracting. Tobias turns to shoot me a sexy smirk —

"You're my girl now, I'll show you off if I want to."

The cockiness that drips from his words has me shaking my head in disbelief. I can't help but scream in joy internally from hearing those words. I've never had a relationship where I've been made to feel like a complete princess. Since being with Tobias, I feel like I'm the only girl he see's. He makes me feel wanted, needed and special.

It's everything I've ever dreamed of.

We begin walking along the pier, his arm still securely wrapped around my waist.

"Mum used to drive me, Jake and Ivory down to this beach when we were kids." Tobias tells me, his eyes scanning over the water. I smile, picturing a younger Tobias chasing Jake in the water and building sandcastles.

"One day in the summer, we came here for the day. Mum said she was going to get us ice creams and asked Jake and I to watch Ivory. We were so busy play fighting and throwing sand at each other that when I turned to look for her, she had gone. I've never felt panic like it before. Jake and I ran around the beach screaming her name." Tobias tells me, glancing at the beach that is now empty. The tide is beginning to draw in, sky turning darker as the minutes tick by.

"I couldn't believe that I'd let Mum and Ivory down so badly. Before Mum came back, I found her. Do you want to guess where she was?" Tobias asks me, his laughter filling the air. He pauses for a moment before continuing —

"She was asleep in a hole she dug in the sand. When I found her, I leapt straight inside that hole and shook her awake. She had no clue what was going on but I clung to her like my life depended on it. I barely took my eyes off her the entire day because I was terrified I'd lost my baby sister." He tells me, shaking his head in disbelief. Warmth fills my chest and I know from looking at his face that he adores Ivory. I rest my head on his shoulder, both of us heading for the hotel across the road.

"She's lucky to have you." I tell him, feeling grateful to finally hear Tobias open up to me. Not many people know anything about him but I want him and I to be different. I want to know every single dream of his, every childhood memory and every plan for the future.

"No she isn't. She's always been independent and strong. I'm worried she'll eventually never need me again." He says quietly. I shake my head, knowing his fears are wrong.

"She'll always need you. You're her older brother Tobias and she adores you."

"Lately she won't speak to me Trish. She's been . . . Distant. It's like I barely know my little sister. She spends all her time with Ben and sneaking around." He says, sounding concerned. I look up at him, noticing the frustrated creases in his forehead. Now that he mentions it, Ivory has been distant lately. I would often see her daily but I can't remember the last time we spent time together.

"Have you talked to her about what's going on?" I tell him and he nods his head.

"I've tried to but she keeps shrugging me off with silly excuses. I'm worried she's getting involved in something dangerous."

"I can try talk to her." I respond, wanting to help him as much as he's helped me. Tobias looks down at me, a thankful smile on his face.

"That would be perfect, thanks Sugar."