Chapter 24: Chapter 24

" E..Ethan..wh..what did you do ? Are you o..okay ?", Michael asks in fear and concern which really surprise me. I bite on my lip trying to silently endure the pain. Michael then grabs my left hand and hurriedly pulls me inside, closing the door. He then drags me with him to the bathroom. He opens the washbasin tap and make me hold my hand under it. I wince slightly.

" Why the hell did you d..do that?", he asks.

" I wanted to talk to you.", I say.

He shakes his head in exasperation. " Why the hell do you want to t..talk to me ? "

" I'm sorry Michael.", I say.

" Why ? Why are you s..sorry ? You are again g..going to bully me tomorrow. Then why ?"

" Do you hate me ?"

" Yeah..I hate you ! ", he sneers.

I press my lips together and look at the running water, splashing forcefully on my palm, causing a kind of piercing pain on my now swollen fingers. But it's nothing compared to the pain I now feel in my heart. It's kind of strange. Why should I care if this guy I met last day hates me ?

Maybe it's the realization that a lot of people like him, whom I bullied along with my supposed friends hate me. I'm a hated bully. I don't want to be.

"You know I don't want all this to happen. But I can't do anything.", I admit desperately, not daring to look up at Michael's face.

" Then..Why are you here ?", Michael ask, still really angry.

" I- I don't know.", I reply. " But I know I'm sorry."

" I don't want your s..sorry. You're a coward. A b..bigger coward than me. Aren't you ashamed to s..say sorry after beating me to death yesterday ? H..how long are you gonna tell me s..sorry ?", he asks. My mouth doesn't open as I don't have any reply. I know what he said is right. I'm a fucking coward. What's the point in telling sorry after bullying him, that too when I'm definitely gonna bully him again soon ?

Michael then closes the tap and grab my hands. I winces as he gently touch my swollen fingers. " Come.", he says and walks out of the bathroom. I follow him behind as he goes to a cupboard, opens it and produces a first aid box out of it. " Sit there.", he points to the bed. I complies feeling surprised. How cruel of me to hurt a precious little soul like him ?

He walks to me with the box, rummaging inside it, taking different ointments and reading the labels carefully. He places the box on the mattress beside me after taking an yellow coloured tube of ointment. I watch amusedly as he read through whatever that is written on it's back side, standing just in front of me, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

" Show your h..hands.", he finally says bending down and opening the cap on the tube. I stretch my hand forward and he firmly hold on my wrist with his right hand before starting to gently apply the white cream on my fingers with his left hand fingers. I bite on my lips as his fingers featherly brush against my swollen ones.

I feel a lot of strange emotions as I study him carefully continuing the task, trying not to hurt me. His lips are pressed together and his eyes are focused solely on my fingers as his long eyelashes flutter across his bruised cheeks. Pain build up in my chest while I also feel tingles erupting in my stomach. How can he behave like this to me after I hurt him mercilessly yesterday ? Michael, why don't you just squeeze my fingers and give me some pain ?

Finally he bends up detaching his long beautiful fingers from mine and I want him to continue touching my fingers for some more time. But he takes the cap of the ointment and close it, looking everywhere else but at my face.

However I continue to stare at him. I admit I have something for this boy that I've never felt for anyone. I don't know what it is but after seeing him last day, I can't stop thinking about him or I can't get his face out of my mind. And now I can't help but stare shamelessly at him when he's standing in front of me, so close to me.

" You may go now.", He finally utters. " Don't come here again. And f..find some other partner for history."

" Please be my partner.", I quickly protest.

" I don't want to !", he snaps. " G..Get out now ! ",

" Michael..please...", I look at him pleadingly.

" Get lost I said ! ", he repeats angrily.

I nod and stand up feeling desperate. I then walk to the door and open it. Before I exit, I turn my face and looks at Michael. He instantly looks away. "Bye.", I say and walks out feeling sadder than ever in my life. I feel tears prick the corner of my eyes as I hop down the steps leading to the dorm. Why the hell am I feeling this much guilty all of a sudden ? I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. But I feel like crying.

I walk to the football ground and slump down on a side bench feeling frustrated. I don't know why is Michael affecting me like this. Am I actually gay or something ? Do I like Michael? No ! How can I like a boy ? Fuck No !

And what will happen if they find I'm gay !?

I ruffle my hair in frustration and rub my cheeks harshly.

I don't know what to do now. What should I do ? Should I speak against my so called friends for Michael ? I don't know what will happen to me if I do that. They'll label me gay. They'll make my life a hell. I'll have to run away from here before I graduate. Do I want that ?

I need to somehow graduate from here with an athletic football scholarship. I'm not that good at studies. So sports is the only means by which I can get enrolled into a reputed college next year. Should I now risk my career and life for a boy I met yesterday? And what can I benefit from rebelling against the bullies ? I'll only lose. They'll just make my and Michael's life more terrible.

Yes ! I'm just gonna ignore everything like I did all this time. I got trapped, so now I need to wait until the trap naturally breaks away. Just one more year and it's over. Let them do whatever they want to anyone. I'll make my heart a stone and stand along with them. This Michael or anyone shouldn't affect me. I shouldn't let anyone ruin my life and future. Michael is just an ordinary boy. He doesn’t mean anything to me. I won't think about Michael anymore.