Chapter 13: Chapter 13

DECISIONS

"The flowers?, What do you mean by the flowers?", I questioned, it's been seven months since I got to Canada, but it seemed like I had almost forgotten to everything.

"Have you forgotten the flowers that was always coming in as a package, after you relocated here and before you travelled?", she glared at me, oops, that is it, shit...... why had I suddenly forgotten about their very trivial issue.

"Christ!!!, So what do you think?", I asked her.

"I don't know", she replied softly. I don't know, but I felt like she was keeping something away from me, she was looking reluctant to say something.

"Renee, say something, I know it's not all", I said to her, giving her an assuring look, that no matter what I would be able to understand, even though it looked like she was really keeping something away from me.

"You know when you put to birth....", she paused.

"Okay?", I arched a brow at her, motioning for her to continue, not withstanding how tensed up my face seems to be right now.

"When you put to birth, I received a flower.....", she paused, as she sniffled.

"Are you crying?, What the hell is going on.. is something wrong?, Tell me Renee you are making me scared... Did you presently receive any threatening letter... you got to speak to me, keeping it isn't safe, so that I would know what to do before it gets out of hand", I was trying to assure her, I felt like something wasn't just okay.

"I'm really sorry, Janey, I really am so sorry for keeping this information away from you", she apologized.

I wonder what she was really apologizing to me about, she did nothing to me apart from her constant care, and they way she offered me advices, so here I'm confused, I was trying to get a clear picture of what might have happened, but nothing was coming through.

"Sorry?, sorry for what?", I questioned, I was already getting impatient with the way she was keeping silence, it scared me, it made me anxious, but more so, I was afraid... very much afraid.

"It was a flower, it could have been someone who was trying to get to know me, it just could be anyone", I said this as a way of comforting myself, not to feel so afraid, but I knew it was more than that.

"You don't just get it, do you?", she asked, in a very quiet voice.

"I think, I think someone might just know about your whereabouts, it might not be your husband....", she paused.

"You mean my ex?, You shouldn't be worried about that, he doesn't give a damn about me, he really doesn't care, he made me know about it three years ago when he finally gave up on me, there's nothing to be worried about", I assured her, but I don't why it left a bitter taste in my mouth once the words were out of my mouth.

The words itself were sour.

"You mean that?, You know....", silence, "The bouquet of flower actually came with a piece of note.., so I really don't know what to say again", she blurted.

"Renee!!", I drawled.

"There is nothing to panic about, you really don't need to, everything fine, just be safe, take care of yourself, the kids, and yeah, Silas. Take good care of him, he really needs that... and also, don't forget, the kids shouldn't let you guys to give up, keep trying, keep pushing, something positive would come through", I said.

I wasn't trying to remind her of her predicament, but some how, no one needed to tell me that she already had given up on trying to make babies, and I didn't want my kids to be an excuse for the both beautiful couples not to keep trying.

"Thanks, I just needed that, really needed that, and talking of Silas, he's currently eavesdropping on our conversation, he thinks maybe I don't know he's snooping on me", she smiles. I needed more of that, those cute smiles, it suited her so well, and it would be much better if she wore it around her like a regalia.

"Yeah, that's a Possessive man, he is worried about what's keeping his woman from being in bed by this time..., please don't let him know it's me, before I would be sent a sack later, I sure still want to come to Florida for a holiday before resuming work", I teased, though with a kind of serious voice.

She began laughing so loud, I joined in the laughter at first, but she continued, it didn't look like she was going to stop laughing any sooner, so I quitted.

Started asking myself, what was really making her laugh so loud.

"What's really funny that's making you laugh this loud?, It sure looks good on you, but....", I mumbled the rest of the order, more to myself than to her.

"You just sounded like a cave woman right now, that's so funny", she continued laughing, the words were said in between laughters.

"Cave woman?, That's the weirdest word someone ever said to me, like..... who still calls someone a cave woman?", I arched a brow.

"Which of my word, or rather my words, made you call me a cave woman?", I continued.

"The er-er-ermm ' He's worried about what's keeping his woman from being in bed by this time ', the woman especially", she said in between laughter.

So that's it, that was what made her laugh so hard that tears keep streaming down her face.

"I want to say this, but... I don't know how you would feel about this, so maybe I should just keep it to myself and zip my lips", she said in an almost serious tone, the once teasing face already washed off her face.

"What?", I tucked the strands of my hair at the back of my ear, while

"Was that how Rashid claimed you, with such possessive voice and his cave manish words?", she asked.

"Ohhh, he was kinda a cave man though", I said, my mind going back to the night when he had proposed to me and when he told me how he would take me away from Jamaica if I don't accept his proposal immediately, not caring what my parents might think about it.

Maybe I already inherited some traits from him, just in the little time I had spent with him.

She was giving me this pitiful look, and the worst part was how much she knows I hated those looks.

"Yeah, yeah, anyways I just got a hit, which could make me a millionaire in a year", I added, wanting to brush off our current topic of discussion.

"Whoaaaaaaaa, and I'm still a bouquet store owner, gross", she said, giving me this puppy face look.

"You don't even know the half of it", I added.

"I really don't think I want to know the other quarter part of it, I just think you are making a whole load of cash, maybe I would just stop babysitting the kids and come over to join you there, so we could make a whole load of cash", she teased.

"Really!!, Yeah we both can do it, you know you got the hots, just keep the kids aside, so we could make lots of cash", I was flowing with the vibe.

"Shut the fûck up, do what's it about?", she asked, her left hbd beneath her jaw chin.

"That's it, okay, this is it. Okay I got a contract with this very big company that just released a new brand and they want me to be among those that would model this new brand...", I paused, trying to know what she was going to say about it.

"Are you planning on thinking about it?, You should even be asking yourself how you got favored to be promoting such a big brand when you haven't even stayed up to a year with them, go for it girl!!!!!", she urged.

"Would I be asking you when it's just so hard to think through and not give them a negative answer?", I questioned, it was kind of difficult to think through and not say no, but the money was just too much, it was a turn on for me to just refuse.

Secondly, it would be a huge turning point in my career.

"It's an exclusive nude edition, I'm going to be promoting their lingerie, not just any lingerie, but the flimsiest and naughtiest.. it's like I'm practically doing a naked shoot for the company, that's what is just making me think over and over again....", I explained.

"Okay... so now, I think you should think about two things right now, your career and the pay. Literally you ain't begging, you can fend for yourself with the average pay you have been getting, but if we should think further, the world is literally developing and it would reach to a certain point where that pay you have been getting would be so meagre that you can't even afford to feed yourself and still buy some clothing's", she divulged.

Didn't she just get the fact that I would be practically going naked.

"Babe what's the pay?", she questioned, looking so dead panned serious.

"My manager said it's a $100,000 per a shot taken", I replied.

"Whoaaa, Jesus!!! Christ!!!, like Mòí Dîó, who gets up to that lately in a year.... Blood of Zechariah... babe, we shouldn't even have been having such discussion, you ain't supposed to be talking about a contemplation. Babe please give it a go", she insisted.

My face dropped.

"This is just too much for me... too fucking much to take in", I whispered.

"Secondly, an exclusive nude edition doesn't mean you would be fucking naked, the lingeries would be sexy, Yes?, but.... you just have to be the one striking the pose, nothing else, you wouldn't be naked, they didn't explain it in simpler details to you. Babe this would turn out great much than you expect", she advised.

"If it's the children. I'm very sure they would grow to be a badass than their mum, but babe, You Are Fucking Lovely... trust me, it would go out well", she added.

That's it, I was going to do it, I was going to take a bold step in pushing my career to the next step and achieving my goals.

I still wondered why I was having a very bad feeling about all of this, the money is great, the feeling of being seen in the front covers of different magazines was breath taking, but... the thought of one person seeing me in those lingeries felt like my heart was going to shatter, bit by bit.