Chapter 18: Chapter 18

That night was spent in shocked silence as Soren tried to come to terms with her approaching demise.

Matt and James spent it trying to come up with ideas or plans to stop it from ever happening, or to make sure she would win if it did. She knew the truth though, she knew that soon she’d be gone from this world and up with the stars.

Had it been this time the year previous, Soren would’ve been able to come to terms with that quickly. Being up in the stars looking down upon the world that had treated her so cruelly at points and so kindly at others, had seemed like a peaceful concept. Now however, James had changed everything. She couldn’t imagine looking down upon him every day, having him so close and yet so far out of reach, it would be like her own personal circle of hell. And while she knew she’d want him to find happiness without her, she did not know if she could bear to watch him fall in love, have children, become a family.

With James in her life she had become selfish and greedy, she wasn’t prepared to give him up.

Matt and James halted their hushed conversation as Soren stood up. She left the living room in a daze and went up to James’ room where her make-shift bed still lay in the corner. She laid down and rested her head against the wall. She could hear the front door open and close as footsteps began to make their way up the stairs towards her.

“Hey.”

James was stood in the doorway, hands shoved deep in his pockets, shoulders tense and face uneasy. He approached slowly so as not to startle her like he had before. He placed himself next to her on the blankets, letting their shoulders touch as he followed her gaze out and up to the sky. He didn’t move to touch her any more than the gentle brush of him arm, until she leaned into his side, letting him support her weight. With her display of acceptance of his closeness, he risked the amiable atmosphere, reaching his arm over and around her shoulders, pulling her even closer into his side.

“James?” Her voice was soft like honey, but held tremors of uncertainty, “Am I going to die?”

A deep rumble rose from deep within James’ chest. Her upper body feeling the vibrations from her head to her toes of the feral growl that her gentle mate had made.

“Don’t ever say that again, you’re going to be just fine.”

“It’s just that you guys both looked so worried, and I want to be able to prepare myself for when the time comes, you know?”

“You don’t need to worry about a thing. Matt’s going over to talk to her right now, he’s going to sort it out.”

“Are you sure?” Hope filled her chest and she leaned her head on James’ shoulder.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’ll never let you be in harm’s way. You’re mine and I’m yours, our story isn’t over yet.”

She didn’t bother responding to the sweet words. She wasn’t like James, she wasn’t good at getting her feelings across. She didn’t have the vocabulary of someone as educated as him, she just prayed that he knew, that like how she seemed to be in tune with his feelings, that he too, could tell how she felt.

She fell asleep in his arms that night, letting the moonlight wash over her and lull her to sleep. She found comfort in his hold, sleeping blissfully and dreamlessly as he drove the nightmares away.

When she woke, she could feel his absence without having to open her eyes. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she trudged to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and her hair, she went through the routine that Margot had shown her. Pulling on another one of James’ oversized hoodies, the black fabric falling to the middle of her thigh. Leggings and chunky knit socks completed the look, allowing her to descend the stairs silent and stealthy.

Breakfast sat on the table, but James was nowhere to be found. She called his name a couple times and wandered the halls, but wherever he was, it wasn’t inside their small little cabin. Sitting down at the island she pulled the plate of French toast towards her, it was still warm which meant he hadn’t left long ago. Underneath her fork lay a sticky note with James’ illegible chicken scratch.

Be back soon, don’t forget to eat. -J

He had put a little heart next to his initial and it brought a wistful smile to her face. The breakfast was amazing, and she trusted that whatever James was doing was important. She missed seeing his face in the morning, it was the best part of her day, the first thing her sleepy eyes would get to focus on would be the angled plains of his face, and the dimple that sat right next to his contagious grin.

Deciding on a nice hot bath before James got back, Soren ran the faucet and laid down in the claw foot tub. Her hair was pulled back into a loose knot on the top of her head, her body relaxed and free of the tension of the previous day. She let her eyes close and focused on clearing her mind.

It was a wonderous thing to be able to relax so easily indoors for once. For so long Soren had only found peace in her cave-like home or on the forest floor beneath the stars, but she was starting to get used to the luxuries of being inside. For one, it never rained indoors, and as much as she loved the smell of the grass after a fresh rainfall, or the sound of the rain hitting the trees. However, she could not deny that it was significantly warmer and less wet in the cabin.

An hour into her bath, she heard the door open downstairs. She sat up and listened, only to sigh in contentment at the familiar sounds of James’ distinctive tread as he walked up the stairs.

“Ren? Where are you?”

He was in the bedroom now, obviously trying to locate her as she had done that morning.

“One minute! Be right there!” She called out, standing up and stepping out of the now lukewarm water, careful to not slip on the tiled floor.

It wasn’t until she went to dry her arms that she realized her mistake, she hadn’t brought any clothes in with her.

Wrapping the towel as tightly as she could around her, she let the large fluffy material swallow up her small form. With a deep breath in she opened the door to find James sitting on the bed, waiting for her.

At the sight of his precious mate in only a towel, James stood up. He hadn’t been prepared to see her in such a vulnerable and yet totally enchanting state. Clenching his fists, he backed towards the door while all his wolf wanted to do was rip the dark grey material from her hands and throw her on the bed.

“I’ll be downstairs.” He managed to get out, pulling the door behind him more aggressively than he had meant to.

Embarrassed she threw on some clothes before following him down the stairs, finding him on the couch in the living room.

“Sorry.”

James shook his head,

“No need to be sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that.” He blushed and Soren had to stop herself from pinching his cheeks.

“Where were you this morning?” She asked the question that had been running through her head all day.

“I had to meet with Matt and find out about the whole Grace situation.”

She nodded resolutely, sitting down beside him on the couch, waiting for him to elaborate.

“He said he diffused the situation, she’s not happy but she doesn’t plan on challenging you, thank god. He said she was mad originally but that she’s calmed down now that she’s had time to think on it. She doesn’t want to risk her spot in the pack over a small thing like your humanity.”

Soren breathed out an audible sigh of relief. She wasn’t ready to kill another person, or the more likely scenario, die.

“That’s great news. Could you thank Matt for me?”

James nodded,

“Of course, I can, but that’s not all…” He trailed off at the end.

“What? What else is there?”

“Well, Matt thinks that given that we already had an issue with a pack member, we should get you introduced to the pack as soon as possible, establish you as Beta Female before everyone.”

“Okay, that’s fine. When?”

“That’s the thing, he already announced it to the pack. The ceremony’s going to be held tomorrow.”

“Wow.” Soren was speechless. She had to meet everyone in the pack, tomorrow. It was an overwhelming thought, what if they didn’t like her?

“Don’t worry, Margot’s going to help you through everything, it’s a really straightforward affair. We just bring you onstage with me and introduce you as my mate. Then we ask if anyone objects, as is customary. They’ll tie a ribbon around our wrists to illustrate our bond and the tie we share, then we feast, and you’ll get to mingle with everyone.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I guess I don’t really have a choice.”

James winced,

“You have a choice. You always have a choice, if you want me to tell Matt to cancel the ceremony I will, hell if you want to leave the pack and all the crazy wolf life behind, I’d drive you to the nearest bus station. I know it’s a lot to ask of you.”

She grabbed his hand,

“I’m not leaving James, I like you, a lot,” She blushed a deep crimson, “I don’t want to spend a day without you. To be honest this morning was torture not seeing you when I woke up. I’ll do the ceremony, as long as you’re there I’ll be fine.”

It was the first time she had openly expressed feelings for James. It was always him who came up with the mushy speeches that made her heart melt. She just hoped she got her point across well enough.

James put his hand on her cheek, brushing her face with his thumb, a gentle caress. She loved how he treated her like she was precious, like she was breakable. Slowly, he leaned forward, waiting to see how she would react. Instead she looked at him expectantly, waiting for the moment that their lips would touch.

The kiss was gentle and sweet. Everything she could have ever hoped for. It was also short, he didn’t press his luck, instead pulling away and pulling her up into his lap. They curled up, tangled within each other as they stared into the fire that was roaring in the heart, both of their thoughts up in the clouds, but their hearts beating in synch, side by side.