Chapter 20: Chapter 20

********** Conversation in Russia**********

Elijah*

"Vlad! Vlad! Stay with me! Stay with me!" I know I am dying, my heart failing, my lungs giving its last air drowning so fast but something or someone pulls me up from where the tidings

swept me off. I breath blood, I cough blood; then my eyes looks to my chest seeing the massive amount of red liquid on me. The distinct voice gets clearer.

"Alexei?" My voice came out faint and hoarse. A foreign sound to my ears I couldn't fathom anymore. Wheezing for air knowing I'm surely losing the battle with the darkness. I thought I did.

"Vlad! Stay with me!" He shouts again causing my eyes to strain making a vivid picture of him proving futile. The noise in my head getting louder and louder while the loud drums of my heart slows, very faint and painful to breath but it was just her face I could make out. Only her.

"Ni- Ni- Sonia. Where is she?" More red liquid spills out of my lips terrifying not just myself but Alexei. I am dying and for the first time in forever I am afraid. Afraid that I didn't get to right my wrongs, afraid that I won't get to see my child, afraid that even in death I will forever be haunted by the pains in her eyes, afraid that I may have caused a great damage to her, afraid that I have lost her. I am afraid. A feeling that wash over me. Living in the mafia means going in and out of near death or death situations but this was different. She looked me with those pained eyes and shot me. She shot me to kill me.

"We will figure it out, listen to my voice brother." His blurred face looks elsewhere giving commands I couldn't pinpoint.

I need to see her. I need her. Gripping his jacket suddenly snapping his head to me I try to tell him to tell him to get, to find her, that she knows, and she shot me. That she is not in her right state of mind. "Princess. Princess. Princ..." My eyes rolled into my sockets struggling, fighting, falling, failing.

"Vlad! Vlad! Vlad!" He cries but I was far too gone. I couldn't cheat death again as it dragged me down the abyss.

***

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Is the sound my head registered and it irritates me to say the least. I wanted it to stop, I want to just die in peace but no; it got louder and louder pulling me up and out of from the abyss which succumb me. Louder and more clearer the sound continues and I felt it. My fingers jerked, I fight again and this time my eyes flutter open giving a deep grunt, eyes looking about.

"Brother? Fuck! I thought I lost you." Alexei rushes over looking closely at me. His green eyes held so much emotion but one prominent, fear. Trying to speak, it only proves difficult and itchy. My eyes searched looking for the one thing that will help my predicament.

"Wa-water." Reaching for the cup by the table failing woefully as the heart monitor picks up. Grunting at the pains in my chest, my eyes carries me to the bandage chest.

"Oh sorry." Handing me a glass of water. I gulp down the drain greedily letting the silence embrace us.

"What happened? I came in the early hours to tell you the car is ready but you were not in your suite neither was Sonia."

My heart squeeze at the mention of her name, like a bad enigma I wish to erase off my mind. All that kept replaying in my head is me falling over that bridge and into the water, struggling to reach the surface but my body failed me before I lost unconsciousness.

"She found out." His green eyes dilates looking at me in alarm. He told me repeatedly, he warned of this day to come but I refused to believe it; I selfishly wanted to hang onto the thin thread that she will never find out so I am safe and I have her. Now I don't know.

"Vlad, where is she?" Looking out of my suite window at nothing particular my brain scrambles for anything.

"I don't know. She is angry."

"Not Sonia. She says it but she never meant it." He tries to salvage the situation but that is

also what I thought. She told me she will leave if I ever hurt her but she never did, or so I thought.

"She did. She shot me." Eyes moving to my wrapped chest and back to my eyes. Giving a deep groan scrubbing his face he finds a chair taking his sit.

"Vlad calm down. We can salvage the situation before it gets out of hand."

"It's all my fault you know. You warned me and I didn't listen. I should have told her the truth but I hid it from her. I could have told her it was all a mistake. She didn't even hear me out. She was broken, hurt and she shot me."

He knew what was coming next out of my lips and just like any brother he begins to counter before the words came out of my lips shaking his head vehemently.

"Don't say it."

"I have to find her." He sits up in anger.

"That little latina shot you and you still want to show yourself to her. She will kill you and that will cause a war between both mafia. I won't let you do that."

"What should I do?!" My voice involuntarily rise gritting the words out.

"Vlad calm the fuck down." Motioning to the heart monitor. Expelling deeply I rest back on the pillows.

"I can't let her go."

"Ugh fuck. Don't do this to yourself. She may be anywhere in the world right now, scared, afraid; possibly wants to kill you again since it didn't work the first attempt, I don't know." A

hidden sass lace in his words but I understand him, just that I cannot live without that little Latina. I need her like a breathe of fresh air.

"She needs me brother, she needs me now more than ever. I have to find her. She is carrying my child and she's out there in the eyes of hungry lions. You know what they will do to her when they get hold of her. And fucking Leandro is still out there." Calmly, I muse.

"I blame myself for all this, I got too possessive and protective because I know one day this day will come and I will loose her. I wanted her to..."Pausing I look to him already watching me closely. "You should see the tears she gave, the eyes she looked at me, her cries. I hurt her Alexei, I broke my woman beyond repair." He sighs.

"That woman shot you three times and if I didn't find you, you will be a dead man. You know I won't let you die on me."

"I will never forgive myself for this and even if she wants to put more bullets in me I will let her because I took her life away from her and kept it a secret. I need to find her."

"If you want to find her, then you have to heal first. I can't have you looking like a corpse on feet." Rolling his eyes he turns. "I need a fucking drink." A small smile came to my face still finding it hard to breath, my eyes closes for a millisecond. I have to see her. I know I won't survive this life without her.

"Thanks brother." I muse.

Just when I thought I had no energy to fight the force pull, it was still her face that spirited me, her smiles that had that distant thump of my heart skyrocket, her lips that renders me useless like a pawn in her hands tells me to my ear I need to wake up. Just Sonia.

So I fought the darkness, force with force because I have to come back for her, I have to live for the one person who keeps me alive. Because I am hers.

"What about Leandro?"

"You can work on that bastard but my first priority is to find my woman, and there is only one place she will be. One place she will expect no Russian to come after her after she killed their King. Most of all she will not expect me in..."

Italy. 24

"...that will be all. Wait outside with the car for me." My head snaps to the entrance seeing Ella get closer. I haven't even had time for myself talk more of her the past days, juggling between affairs of the mafia with my brother and having our subjects on the right track plus remodeling our home has really taken most of my time to have anything remotely close to a break. Breaks are meant for slacks and I don't just have the luxury for that.

"Yes Miss Vatore." He leaves giving Ella a nod walking away. Moving to the table my eyes scans the numerous files of our deals for the past eight years seeing Leandro has been stealing from us. A frown comes on my face.

"Hey girl. What's happening?" I absentmindedly say distracted seeing yet another lapses in our accounts. Picking up the phone.

"Dammi Giuseppe subito." (Get me Giuseppe right now.) I give a short command ending the call still going through the documents laid in front of me. Someone is going to be in deep shit when I get him. One of my fifth sense picks up a faint sigh taking my attention to Ella looking at a family photo hanging on the wall. Mama beside Pa who stood tall and proud, Lucien in front of him and his ever crazy curls then myself sitting on mama's thigh smiling like no tomorrow. That was a year before my life went downhill.

The pains still evident, like a scar which never fades just an everyday constant reminder.

"I should be asking you that Miss Busy all the time." Brushing my hair out of my face I gave that look understanding where she is going at.

"Don't."

"What?" Shrugging she steps away from the photo playing innocent. But I know better.

"You know what I mean. Don't say it like that."

"I'm just saying." Drawling out a whisper I clearly heard deciding on playing nonchalant.

"I have a client to catch with so can you stop beating about the bush. Okay?" Tucking my hair behind my ears moving to my phone sitting on the couch. I pick it up.

"You are different." Halting on my steps, a turn to my side with a raised brow.

"What do mean I am different? This is me." Giving a duh tone smiling.

Sighing, she continues. "You are not. You changed over the past couple of days and I'm worried. You are building an iron wall so high shutting us, me out, which is not healthy. For you or the baby." Her voice came out soft but my head contradicts it putting up an invincible shield.

"My baby is fine." Getting defensive, hands reaching to wrap my invincible bump against her foul words. "Everything is falling in place, I have claimed my father's lost empire, sweep my enemies under the rug or into hiding. So tell me what is not healthy about any of it. I thought you will be happy for me over how far I have come to achieving my dreams, guess I'm wrong." My voice rise with every word which sounds in my ear like an accusation from her lips.

"You know I am Nia but this... This you, locked up, stoic, emotionless. It's not you. You are not yourself, you need help." Loud roars of laughter escapes my lips mocking her.

Slowly getting over the fact she thinks such about me. "This is me Ella. You know what let's not have this conversation, it's not worth it. I will see you when I'm back." Storming to the

entrance then I pause looking at her. "And sorry for not being depressed, crying or sulking at the corner. All this..." motioning with the phone in my hand at the room in otherwise referring to the empire my father built. "...is made from survival instincts and that is what I'm trying to protect because I am a survivor. We bulk up when life's hits us hard not crying like little girls or grieving into forever that will require me to get help. I have a family to live for, to fight for; when you have thousands of lives looking up to you, when they and yourself are prone to attacks; fear, doubt or depression is not going to be on your table and when that time comes or you experience how cruel of a shithole this life is then you can understand but aside that get on board or stay at the corner." Angrily pulling the door open.

"If Elijah was here, he won't let you act like this. A stranger I don't even know. No care, no heart, just working with you head and not your heart. Not the Nia he knows."

The best players wins at every game and she won. She hit me hard that it slapped me at my face crumbling my iron wall. Elijah, a name I wish to forget.

"Well he isn't. Elijah is dead. I killed him remember and this is me." Banging the door so loud it rattles. But I didn't leave, sliding down the door sobbing silently because it hurts. Why did she have to remind me of him when all I want is to forget the pains in my heart, the death of my soul. She just had to poke me where it hurts most, open the ginormous gate I use to block the pent up emotions haunting me every second of the day.

Drying my face, I stood up burying the hurt and pain inside. Maybe if I bury all that in a box and lock it forgetting the key then I may have a hope at redemption to forget it all.

Living in our mansion, I thought I would get the feel of security, love and happiness even, but none. The feeling of satisfaction after taking over my late father's empire is what should motivate me, you know, keep me thrilled and hyped. It all comes down to the fact I am not happy, just an empty shell tossed in the wind.

I may be broken, battered or dauntless but I am not frail. I move and that is what keeps me going. Even when it hurts that word rings in my head. Moving on.

With the pains.