Chapter 83: Chapter 83

Luna POV

“Based on the report of our team, no one saw the incident. But it is obvious how heartless it is. There is no source of information on who is at fault because even the CCTV was destroyed by these people with the weapon they used as murder.” The announcer holds the mic as he says that. I couldn’t handle my phone properly while looking for Cole’s number so I could call him. He was the one I knew was to blame for why this happened because he was the only one I told about the information. My eyes watered as I watched the news. I now hold my mouth because I can’t stop my sobbing. If it weren't for me no one would have died. Why all that just decision I have is always wrong. Why? I want to run into a rushing truck so I can pay for my sin.

When I pressed the correct number heavy tears from my eyes fell. They are even larger than the grain of rice. My heart pounded as I thought it was my fault that everything had happened. I don't think I have a decision to make right. I wanted to tell him all the bad words but I didn’t know what that thing would do if so many lives were lost because of the thing I did.

"Why did you do that to t-them?" I can't be straightforward in what I'm saying just to ask him that. I can't raise my voice because I'm sure Adonis can hear me now. What does look I'm going to show to him? Even though I don’t look like I can face him after the immorality I committed against him.

With tears in my eyes, I forced myself to say the resentments that enveloped me because of what Cole had done. I helped him because that’s what I thought I should do because of what happened to my family but what he did to the people who deliver the product, even if it would never be right! That can't be justified for whatever reason! I can no longer count how much sin I have committed against the Lord. I don't know if he can still forgive me for everything I have done to him. While my phone was in my ear, I heard heavy breaths on the other line and I wasn't wrong that he was to blame because he was just going to say the words that I was expecting. How did he do all this? Can't they be peaceful without people dying?

“Luna, believe me. It's not my fault then. I-I was just shocked by what happened too. P-please, b-believe me.” I could hardly understand anything because of his speed of speech and stuttering. I want to hide under the bed and hide and not show even to anyone. Why would I trust this man even though I knew his ability to do these things?

I want to kneel on the floor and pray a million times for the Lord to forgive me. I dropped my phone when I got the right answer. I didn't listen to his other explanations because I had heard enough. I no longer knew what was going on. My brain is in turmoil. My eyes widened at the door and hundreds of questions flowed through my brain such as:

"Did Adonis know that I gave the information to Cole?"

"Will he come in here to ask me if it's my fault?"

"What will he say when he finds out it's all my fault?"

But all of that disappeared from my mind when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I got up and was able to sit up because of the thump. I ran over there and even though hesitant to open it, eventually I still did. I saw Adonis's face sink and my heart ached because of that. Why was I able to do that thing to this man? Why did I choose to turn my back on him? I hugged him suddenly but he moved away from me. My hands and knees weakened when I saw his eye. He looks at me in the dark that I used to fear. I said I would accept no matter what kind of eyes he gave me but now that I'm experiencing it, I can't.

"I'm leaving first to take care of some matter." He turned his back on me, no kiss, no hold, no emotional goodbye. His farewell tells me that I have no right to him anymore. When he disappeared from my eyes, I just knelt in pain. I can't feel my whole body. It was as if I had been injected with a lot of anesthesia. Is what I am experiencing true? He’s slipping on me, he’s neglecting me. Isn't that exactly what the results should be? Why am I hurting? I said I was ready for this event. I said I wouldn’t be hurt when I got to this point. But why?

I cried on the floor. I prayed to the deity to give me a chance to turn back time — but nothing happened. It was only in the dark household that I felt as if in just a flash someone would appear on my side to say it was all my fault until I died of conscience.

I went back to the room almost crawling. I packed everything I could take with me. I picked up the items that would remind me of Adonis. Even the dress he first bought me even though I knew it would no longer fit me. I left not a single one. All I left were the clothes I bought myself.

When I was outside his mansion, I stared at his whole house. The former noisy house is gone. I killed Adonis’ happiness and I have no right to demand happiness that I, stole from the person I love.

Once left there, I thought of the memories I had with him. Thousands of memories of him flooded my memory. How could I have forgotten that things? Why now I only thought of all this when it was too late. My fairytale story is gone. What if Adonis didn’t see me at those times? What if he didn't recognize that I was Luna Everdeen. What if...

I gave up again. Sitting on the cold road and another warm tear. I shouldn’t be crying anymore because it will hurt my baby but I’m stubborn and I don’t seem to care. I wipe the tears from my cheeks but no matter what I do they don’t want to go away. I rubbed my stomach.

“Can you guide daddy? Don't leave him alone. ”

After I said those words, there was a van parked in front of me. And when I looked, I suddenly fainted because of the handkerchief that covered my face.