Chapter 133: Chapter 133

I did not sleep all night. I was just stunned, wondering all that had happened whether it was all true or I was just dreaming. Perhaps, I'm just worried about my guilt, maybe I'm just looking for a reason to excuse me from the truth. I think about how hard Adonis went through, how he forgave me despite everything that had happened. I thought he was to blame for what happened to me, but I was wrong.

The morning peeked out but I was still staring out the window, hoping someone would slap me and say that what my father did was not true but no matter what I did, nothing was happening. I was still an idiot, thinking the reality. I no longer look like I can face Adonis, all my bodily shame is gone.

"Mommy?"

I was able to bring myself back with someone speaking by my side. I can’t smile at Athen. I couldn’t make an expression because my brain was floating somewhere. I struggle but this is the only choice I have, to swallow the truth. If only ...

If only I could do something ...

I don't want to shed tears but I'm here now, I want to cry to lose all the weight I am feeling.

“Mommy? Is daddy still not coming back?”

Because of Athen's question I looked out the window again. I watched how the water flowed into the river fall. The window part I did not change in the renovation of this house. Only the flow of water can calm me down so as much as possible, I don’t want to lose its music to my ears and its beauty.

I didn't answer Athen, I couldn't be bothered yet. I can't seem to get out of bed because my whole body has lost strength. But I knew that was not possible because I had to fulfill my duty as a mother. I can't just lie here and let myself fall.

"Maybe your daddy is busy." I had no desire to answer Athen. I also don't want to show up to Adonis, I don't look like I can present anything to him anymore.

"Mommy, are you okay?"

I got quiet to Athen’s question. Am I okay? I also didn’t know my answer, it was as if I was drowning in the sea and I was at the very bottom of it. I could feel the cold hugging my body, I could see the sun but I was drowning while accompanied by various sea creatures. I could see the darkness but no hand extended to my hand to offer and save me.

I also don’t know where I’ve ever been.

"Yeah." I could barely hear my voice. The two of us remained silent. No one spoke to us but my every breath was hot and heavy.

But I was able to sit up straight when I heard knocking again. My hand is shaking. What if he was there? What shall I tell him?

"Shall I open the door?" Athen's innocent question to me. I removed the blanket that was on my legs and stood up. I can't always be like this, maybe even Athen will suddenly lose her mood.

"Let me. Sit there, I will prepare breakfast.”

But even that is what I told her, she did not listen to me. She was still following behind me as I wondered if I would open the door. I just raised my hand, waiting for it to move on its own.

I flinched as the door sounds again. I made a few sighs before finally opening it. The first thing my eyes saw was the fruits in the basket. As I slowly lifted my eyes I saw Luke scratching his forehead. I told him that I would not allow him to visit at our house. I was not comfortable with him.

"I'm sorry if I'm too annoying, don't worry, I have no plans to go in, I just wanted to give this fruits to Athen." He was still hesitant to speak but he was able to say exactly what he wanted to say. Maybe he was afraid of what I might tell him.

“WOW! FRUITS!” Cheerful Athen said, she ran over to Luke and pulled the man inside. He looked at me while Athen was taking the basket. “Come in, Mister! We just woke up and we haven't eaten yet!”

I could not speak to what she said. Luke looks like a blessing in disguise today because I don’t have the energy to cook. It's good that he brought fruit. I just closed the door and didn't speak. I just let them go, I attended the conversation between them.

"Athen, what will you say when someone gives you something?"

"Thank you, Mister!" She had already bitten the apple and even played with her head that you would think she that it was her first time eating that kind of food.

"Your welcome, Princess!" Luke chuckles.

I bowed my head on the table because drowsiness suddenly visited me. Possibly, that's all I'm really waiting for, to someone make noise here because I'm getting depressed to the silence. Before I finally fell asleep I heard Luke's faint whisper.

“Sshh. Mommy is sleeping, don't be loud.”

I heard them giggle at the same time. Luke being here is not that bad. And at least I know that Athens won't suddenly leave without even letting me know.

I was not aware of how long I had been asleep, when I looked to see if I was still on the table, I saw that I was already lying on the bed as I heard loud laughter coming from outside. I lifted my body and peeked outside. I could see the sun was still up and it looked like I hadn't slept for a long time.

"Let's swim there!" Athen pointed out where the water was falling. Luke raised Athen against his neck as they headed there.

Adonis' body suddenly flashed in my eyes as I imagined that he was the one holding Athen. Looks like I really need a lot of sleep, I can't just be like this all the time.

As I watched them, my phone rang again.