Chapter 49: Chapter 49

Charleigh

Low and behold, when I finally do start listening, what I find out is exactly what I was hoping to hear all along.

“When was the last time he was seen?” Niko asks.

There is a pause. I want to peek around the corner from where I’m eavesdropping just outside the library, but I figure if the guys wanted me in on this conversation, they would have included me.

I was headed to the kitchen for some tea, having tossed and turned all night in bed—again. It’s so early the sun’s not up yet, but I’m hoping something minty might help me relax and get a couple hours’ sleep before I start the day.

It’s strange the guys are up so early.

“According to our men, he hasn’t been here in a long time. Like weeks, maybe even months. He’s hiding out somewhere,” Kir says, “which is smart because he knows he’d be a dead man, otherwise.”

“Yeah, he has people helping him for sure. He couldn’t do this on his own. He’d need support,” Niko adds.

I want to walk in on the guys. I want to join the conversation, be part of this, whatever it is they are talking about and planning. I need the peace of mind that will come with knowing I’ve done what I can to make myself and my sister safe, or as safe in this world as we can be.

And yet, the guys keep cutting me out. They’ll say it’s for my own good—I’m not ready yet, I don’t understand their world, blah, blah, blah. They may be right. But I don’t really care. I know what I need and no one is going to get it for me, except me. I’ve always been alone in this world. Why should things be any different now?

But in case the guys are still inclined to cut me out, which it seems they are, I continue listening.

“So why bother going over, if we know he’s not there?” Vadik asks.

“We’ve discussed this,” Kir says. “Charleigh remembers some sort of private room from when she was there. We need to see if it holds anything that might link him to our parents’ murders. We take that to the Pakhan, and all this bullshit will be over.”

Or, they tip Dimitri off and he leaves the country never to be heard from again. Which wouldn’t be such a bad thing, excepts he has tentacles that reach anywhere he wants, just like the Alekseev brothers do.

God, I’m starting to think like they do. I don’t like it. In fact, it makes me feel sick.

“Fine then,” Vadik says. “Let’s head over there in twenty. If the guys watching the house say it’s okay.”

“They’ve been watching it. Seems no one’s around.”

I race back up to my room before I’m discovered, but I’m not fast enough.

“Charleigh, hey. What are you doing up so early?” Kir calls after me.

I look back down the stairs as I continue to my room. “Oh hey. Morning. I can’t sleep, so thought I’d get some tea.”

He tilts his head. “Where’s the tea?”

Shit.

“Oh, we don’t have what I wanted, so I bailed on the idea. See ya later,” I say, closing my bedroom door.

I pull on some jeans and a sweatshirt and my trusty old Converse Chucks, and peek back out my door. The guys have all dispersed to do whatever they have to before heading over Dimitri’s. I grab a book in case I come across someone, so I can say I’m going to read for a bit, and sneak down the stairs and out the front door. Just as I hoped, one of their SUVs is parked in the drive with engine already running. I take a look around and with no one in the vicinity, open the back and scramble in, plastering myself against the backside of the rear seat.

I’m not fooling anyone, though. All they have to do is glance in the trunk area and I’ll be discovered.

Still, when I hear their voices drawing near, I make myself as small as possible. I squeeze my eyes closed—why, I have no idea—and force my breath to slow, as if that will possibly help.

And to my surprise, the guys hop in without noticing me. I brace myself so I don’t roll when they peel out, and we hit the road.

Holy shit. What have I done? To be honest, I didn’t really think this was going to work. And now here I am.

What will the guys do when they find out I’m a stowaway? Will they be pissed or just mildly annoyed? Will they take to locking me in my room like they did in the beginning, or will they be pleased with my initiative?

Kind of late to worry about it now. I’m freaking committed.

With my head plastered to the floor of the trunk, I try not to think about how many dead bodies have been back here. The carpet smells vaguely of chemicals, so I guess if there was anything incriminating around, it’s been cleaned to within an inch of its life.

But still. Gross.

The guys’ voices carry over the rumble of the engine, but the noise drowns out anything specific. The mention of my name pricks my ears a few times, but I hear nothing more than that.

After thirty minutes or so—I tracked the time as well as our location with my phone—the SUV comes to a stop.

Oh shit. Now what?

I’m such a fucking idiot.

Sure, I’ll go for a ride to the home of the man who’s been after me since the first time we met, who beat me to within an inch of my life, and whose people also recently tried to nab my sister, Evie. The man who is responsible for the murder of the Alekseev brothers’ parents, for whom the Pakhan—for some incomprehensible reason—is protecting or at least keeping our thirst for revenge against at bay.

Yeah. Let’s go over to his house. Take a look around. See what we find.

What could possibly go wrong?

The SUV doors open and I know I need to reveal myself. Waiting could make things much worse. What if they take me for an intruder, or I need protecting and they don’t even know I’m nearby?

“Guys,” I hiss.

Vadik and Niko have already exited the front seat, so only Kir hears me. He whips around at the same time he draws his weapon.

“WHAT THE FUCK, CHARLEIGH?” he hollers when he sees me peeking over the seat.

Don’t make yourself small. Ask for what you want. You deserve it. And you can have it. I raise my chin. “You’re not doing this without me.”

The truck opens and Vadik and Kir are standing there. They don’t look happy. “I… I thought you were in bed,” Kir says.

“I was. And now I’m not,” I say, scrambling out of the back. “I need a gun.”

The three of them look like I’m crazy.

They are not far off.

Vadik shakes his head slowly. “No. Absolutely not. I’m calling one of the security guys to come get you right now. Niko, wait with her.”

I get right up in Vadik’s face. “That’s bullshit. I’m ready for this and you know it.”

He inhales slowly and deeply, like the parent of a toddler trying to keep their shit together. Which makes me all the more pissed. “I’m sorry, Charleigh. I know you want this. Hell, you’re risking your life right now by being here with us.

I poke him in the chest with my forefinger. I don’t know who I surprised more, him or myself. “There. You just said it. If I’m risking my life, you know you are too.”

He grabs my hand off his chest and whips it up behind my back. I can’t move and while it doesn’t hurt, it’s not comfortable, either.

Fine. He’s got me.

He gets right in my face. “You will wait here with Niko. You are highly vulnerable right now and need to get the hell out of here. And I don’t want to hear anything more about it. Understand?” he growls, so close that his breath is warm on my face.

“Yes,” I whisper, defeated.

“Now get back in the SUV,” he says.

I crawl into the backseat, fighting back tears, and Niko slides in next to me. With my arms crossed tightly, I look out the window, wishing I could disappear into a hole in the ground.

Yes, I am fucking humiliated. These guys treat me like a child. They don’t take me seriously. And I’m sick of it.

Niko’s fingertips brush my thigh, and I scoot further away from him. The last thing I want right now is any attempt by anyone to comfort me.

He sighs and pulls his hand back. “Charleigh. I know what it’s like to feel left out.”

“No, you don’t,” I snap.

“Hey. You don’t know what it’s like to be me, to be the bastard son of a family like this. You never fully feel like you belong, no matter how long and hard you work to prove yourself. I’ve inherited an empire that I’ll never really feel belongs to me, like I’m some sort of hanger-on. Sometimes, like when I stay busy, I don’t think about it, at least not for a long time. But it’s always there, the nagging doubts, like do I deserve this, have I earned it, and do I really belong here. My brothers and parents have never treated me like I’m anything less than a full member of the family, and yet, my illegitimacy hangs over my head like an annoying cloud,” he says.

I finally look at him. I get the point he’s making, and yet our situations are so different, I don’t see how he can compare them.

Five minutes later, one of the compound’s security guys shows up. I mutter a see you later over my shoulder to Niko, because I can’t bear to give him anything more.

He might like some reassurance that I understand, that the rules have sunk in, and that I have accepted my proper place in this small family, but I can’t give him that.

After all, if I don’t believe it myself, how can I convince him of it?