Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Vadik

“What in the ever-loving FUCK were you thinking?”

Charleigh looks small in the chair Niko pushed her into, and even smaller when she shrinks away from my brothers and me, all hovering over her trying to figure out just when she got so batshit crazy.

She looks from one of us to the next, without a word, because I’m pretty sure she has no goddamn answer.

“THIS is why we don’t give you a gun. You are out of control. You are not only going to get yourself killed, but also, very likely, us. Jesus Christ, Charleigh, you have got to be out of your mind,” I scream.

At the moment, I’m the one out of my mind, and it doesn’t feel good. We have enough goddamn shit going on around here without Charleigh losing it and stabbing someone’s hand with her high heel.

And it wasn’t just anyone’s hand she just shattered. She might not like the Pakhan’s second—none of us do, for that matter—but she just brought a world of hurt down on all our heads. We are not pleased. Obviously, the second is not. And the Pakhan won’t be, either.

“As long as you operate out of emotion rather than logic, not only will you not get a gun, but you will also continue to make bad decisions, decisions that drive you further away from what you really want to accomplish.”

I pace the room, thinking through all the possible outcomes of Charleigh’s actions and they are so numerous and grim, I dare not tell her about them.

“Is this what you want, Charleigh? Do you have a death wish? Because it sure as hell looks like it,” I say, my face inches from hers.

Her eyes are wide with terror, as if she’s just as surprised by her actions as the rest of us, and while that may be true, it doesn’t change a thing.

Actions have consequences. Doesn’t she understand this?

“And what about your sister, Charleigh? The sister who is supposedly your absolute highest priority, your biggest commitment? Because I can tell you, you are doing neither yourself, nor her, any favors.”

Fuck.

I pace Niko’s office, where he dragged Charleigh after she went after the second. I have to admit, there was satisfaction in seeing his agony, given that he’s a cold and heartless bastard, but he was here at the club for a legitimate reason, and attack was entirely inappropriate.

God, I’d like to cut her loose. I never thought I’d hear myself think that, but I am seriously starting to wonder if she’s worth all the trouble she brings.

“Well?” I yell. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“I… I don’t know what came over me,” she says weakly, shaking her head in disbelief.

“No shit,” I bark right back at her. “And that’s exactly the problem. You have no control. You can’t be trusted. And at some point, we guys won’t be able to protect you from yourself. You’ll find yourself dangling out there with no net, because we will have given up on your ass.”

As the enormity of what she’s done sinks in, she buries her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking lightly.

“I…” she starts to mumble.

“Speak up, Charleigh. We can’t hear you,” Niko says in his soothing voice.

He may not look or sound as frustrated as me, but I know he is.

We are trying to help this woman, but if she keeps fucking things up, we’ll have to throw in the towel.

Regardless of how we feel about her.

She’s becoming a risk we can’t afford to keep around.

“How… how do you guys do it?” she asks in a small voice. “How do you exist in this world, where your parents are murdered and you can’t go after the man who did it? How do you wake up and go through every day with so much hate in your heart all the color has gone out of everything?”

I know what she’s describing. Yeah, we know how it is when you think you’ll never be able to smile again. But if you let the hate destroy you, you’ll never get your revenge.

I stop my pacing and take a seat. I can’t risk a migraine today. That would fuck things up worse than they already are.

“Charleigh, don’t you know I suffer every day? I mean, I can’t speak for my brothers, but I’m guessing it’s the same for them on some level.”

I look up at Kir and Niko and they nod at what I just shared, something I’ve never, ever said out loud. Hey, I might be a bastard, but I feel shit like anybody else.

“Every day we get closer to the revenge we seek for our parent’s death. It’s not easy. My father was bigger than life. I feel like he’s sitting on my shoulder every day. I put massive pressure on myself. People call me a workaholic. I feel like the man can see my every move. Sometimes I’m so angry he was murdered that I can’t even see straight. But I don’t let that cloud my judgement. If I fucked up, I’d never get to avenge his death.”

I pull her out of the chair where she’s sitting and bring her over to the sofa where I can wrap my arms around her.

Initially, she stiffens in my embrace, as if my touch stings, but a few whispered words help her gradually relax. She drops her head onto my shoulder, and my brothers leave us to go take care of the situation she caused.

It feels good that she’s trusting me, and that I’m able to make her at ease. But I have to wonder, for myself, what it means for me, too.

On one hand, I want to run probably as much as Charleigh does. But on the other, I think I am finally learning what I really want.

And that’s scary as hell.

**********

Vadik

I take Charleigh’s chin and turn it toward me. Since before she went crazy on the second’s hand, I’ve been unable to take my eyes off her lips, perfectly shaped, colored with a light red stain that almost makes them look bruised.

When she whacked the man with her high heel, the look of satisfaction that washed over her wild face when the sound of crushing bones filled the room solidified the fact that the old Charleigh is gone. The new Charleigh has a blackened heart obsessed with revenge. She is able to fuck with abandon but has no capacity for true connection, and doesn’t hesitate to stand up to men twice her size as if she has some sort of death wish.

Which she probably does.

After yesterday’s conversation, when she was unable to respond to my brothers and me expressing our care for her, I told myself I’d keep my distance. I don’t like the feelings I have for her. They will bring nothing but trouble for me and the Alekseev name.

But she looks so wild and insolent with her hair askew and rebellion in her eyes. She has a new strength in her. Now, if only it can be channeled for her own good.

So far, most every decision she’s made has been a shitty one.

Like maiming the Pakhan’s second. I have half a mind to buy Charleigh a one-way plane ticket someplace very far away and tell her to disappear for the rest of her life, because that’s how long she’s going to be hunted now. She made her own bed and until we cut her loose, we Alekseevs have to lie in it with her. Every crazy thing she does reverberates through my brothers and me, then to our team, and down to our myriad businesses.

She’s got to learn she’s not living in a silo. Every action causes a reaction. Actually, multiple reactions. That’s how our lives and businesses work, each component moving in time with the next like a well-oiled machine. She has to work with us or… not at all.

But I haven’t given up hope. She can be tamed. And when that wild energy is harnessed and focused, she will be more of a force to contend with than she already is.

I brush my lips against hers, and she hungrily demands more, catching the back of my neck and pulling me to her with a daunting hunger, and as much as I want to take her and help her forget her the cruelties the world has visited on her, she has a lesson to learn.

To her surprise, I push her back, and she looks at me with widened eyes, like I deprived her of something she’s entitled to.

She’s not entitled to anything, not a goddamn thing, and she’s going to learn that right now.

“Charleigh?”

Ignoring my questions, she lunges at me, attempting to return to our kiss like her life depends on it.

I restrain her. Again.

“Listen to me, Charleigh.”

“What?” she snaps, going for the buttons on my shirt.

“Stop it,” I say gently, taking her wrists and holding them down at her sides.

She struggles to get out of my grip. “Fine. Whatever. I’ve had enough of this place today, with you guys selling my well-being to buy my silence. Go fuck yourself,” she hisses.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

She tries to get to her feet but is effectively immobilized by my holding her still.

“Get off,” she growls, pulling and struggling.

“Goddammit, Charleigh, sit down and shut up!” I yell.

This catches her by surprise and puts an end to her mini tantrum. She stops resisting and looks at me with curiosity.

“You’ve got to start listening to me. My brothers too, until you understand how things are done around here. You might not like everything you are told but believe me, each decision we make is made with a view to a bigger picture. You will get your revenge, and when you do, I hope it’s all you want and more. But until then, you are fucking things up not only for yourself but for my brothers and me. That’s not gonna work.”

The defiance in her eyes drains away, and she hangs her head. She’s tired. I know she is. Tired of always being on alert, and tired of living with so much hate.

Her posture softens before me and I’m pretty sure I’m looking at the old Charleigh, or at least some version of her. I take her and kiss her again, and this time it’s warm and intimate as opposed to greedy and demanding.

“Baby, I want you to suck my dick,” I say, opening my pants.

In fact, my dick has been hard since she attacked the second, and while she never should have done that, it was hot as fucking hell.

Not that I’ll tell her that.

She smiles at me knowingly and with confidence, so different from some weeks ago when she was practically afraid of a stiff cock, and didn’t know any more about sucking one than a nun. I hand her a pillow, which she places under her knees.

Once situated before me, she takes me in hand and strokes me a few times, gazing at me like she’s never seen my erection before. She rubs a thumb over my first drop of sticky precum and smears it around the head of my dick. With a glance at me, I nod as if to give her the go-ahead, and my cock disappears between her pretty lips, my erection cloaked by her warm, swirling tongue. I place one hand on her head and gently direct her rhythm to match my need to blow off some steam, and goddamn if she doesn’t perform like a champ.

Up and down she bobs, occasionally meeting my gaze like a sweet young thing hoping for approval. But because I’m an asshole, I don’t give it, I just indicate she keep going because my orgasm is more important than anything in the world at this moment.

My eruption takes her by surprise, filling her mouth until she sputters and coughs, and I swear to God, there is nothing like a beautiful woman on the end of your cock, licking it clean and enjoying every drop of your cum.

As soon as we’re put back together, I figure we ought to vacate Niko’s office, where we fled to get away from the second’s understandably murderous rage, and return to mine. When we get there, Dominika is elbow-deep in a bucket of soapy water, scrubbing the blood off my desk—Papa’s old desk—and the carpet below it.

I am so taken aback to see Dominika cleaning I nearly burst out laughing. But I’m sure she’s already in a pissy mood and making it worse would be a real dick move. I just got an amazing fucking blowjob and am feeling generous, so I say nothing.

Charleigh, apparently, doesn’t feel the same way.

“Yo, Dominika,” she calls.

Dominika looks in Charleigh’s direction and if looks could kill, my pretty girl would be laid out dead right there on the floor having taken her last breath just before she decided to antagonize the woman who must be one of the biggest bitches in history.

And for some unfathomable reason, also my father’s favorite mistress.

Charleigh approaches Dominika, and I silently hope she isn’t pulling any more shit today. I don’t think I could handle it.

Charleigh bends real close to my desk, and points at, from where I am standing, not much of anything.

“Dominika, looks like you missed a spot.”

Well, fuck me.