Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Kir

“You can’t blame yourselves,” Charleigh says, picking at her salad.

Does she really mean that? Or is she just blowing smoke up our asses? I can tell my brothers are thinking the same thing.

She sets her fork aside after eating half a tomato. Jesus, if her appetite doesn’t come back soon, she won’t live long enough to see Dimitri taken out. I want to ask her how many pounds she’s lost but I know better than to bring up a woman’s weight. Talk about kicking a hornet’s nest.

It’s clear she’s put a lot of thought into this. I’m glad she’s talking responsibility. She may not know it yet, but she’s going to be part of our lives for a long, long time. She has to know how her actions have consequences.

She rubs her neck. “You didn’t expect me to go to the arcade that day. In fact, I had to talk Frank into it, something I regret terribly. We didn’t know Dimitri was setting a trap. Neither did you guys. I had an awesome bodyguard and they still got me. Bottom line, no one can protect me, except me.”

Not sure I like the way that sounds, but there is a lot of truth to it. Staying safe starts with making smart decisions. Keep out of the line of fire, so to speak. If she keeps doing crazy-ass, impetuous things, well, that won’t end well. Not at all.

This makes my stomach churn, and I set my coffee down. I couldn’t protect Clara. And now, Charleigh. What good are all the precautions in the world if we can’t do something that simple?

She continues. “I… I don’t mean to hurt you by saying that. You are powerful men, but not everything is in your control. I have free will, at least to an extent, and the decision I made put me in danger. The most important thing I’ve learned in my self-defense course is to not take a stupid risk to begin with. Staying out of dangerous situations is seventy-five percent of protecting yourself. The other twenty-five, well, we’ll see if I can physically defend myself if I ever need to. Still working on that.” She laughs sadly.

That’s huge progress. Our girl is learning. And she’s right. If she can follow what she’s been learning, it’s unlikely anything like this will happen to her again. There is no guarantee, but smart thinking reduces the chances.

Vadik joins us at the table, late. “Okay,” he says, settling in, “just talked to the Pakhan’s second. What a miserable son of a bitch. Anyway, we’re all set for our meeting, but the bastard wouldn’t give me a read on what to expect.”

So typical of that power-hungry loser. He loves nothing more than lording the little bit of power he has over people. Why the Pakhan keeps him on is beyond me, but someday he’ll get his due. People like him always do.

“You didn’t get to speak directly to the Pakhan?” Charleigh asks.

Vadik shakes his head. “Nope. Are you kidding, with that boot-licking gatekeeper in the way? But don’t worry, darlin’, we’ll protect you. We’ll make sure you’re okay every step of the way.”

Charleigh grimaces, no doubt the thought of having to protect herself running through her mind. She doesn’t trust us guys anymore.

That kills me.

She was hurt on my watch. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself. While I haven’t discussed it with my brothers, my guess is they feel the same. Were I to ask him, Niko would readily admit his regrets. Vadik, not so much. Not that he doesn’t have any, it’s just harder for him to talk about some things.

“You know, guys, when I was being held by Dimitri, I don’t remember much, but I do recall there being a room he went in and out of a bunch of times. He had a key and I didn’t see anyone else going in there. It must be something super confidential. Like, maybe there’s info about what he did to your parents in there?” she says matter-of-factly.

That’s our new Charleigh. Everything is matter-of-fact. No real emotion. Like the wonderment has been completely beaten out of her.

At least we still have her, though. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance, something I never had with Clara.

Vadik sucks in a deep breath. “Who the fuck knows what he’s up to. But I can tell you one thing. He’s so fucking dead…” he says, gritting his teeth.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

“You know, Charleigh, I feel like you should know that when you first went missing, we assumed you’d run away again,” Niko says with regret in his eyes. “We quickly figured out there was foul play. But that was our first thought.”

It’s just like Niko to have to confess shit. If he were any more sensitive, he’d be a goddamn girl.

Her shoulders slump, and damn if that doesn’t break my heart a little. “I don’t blame you. The first time I went missing, I had run, so why shouldn’t you suspect it again?”

We’re quiet while Chef takes away our dishes. It’s odd that Charleigh is here at the club without her sister, she so seldom leaves her anymore, but Evie must be with Gloria, who’s taken to helping her with her lessons. It’s funny, the very same housekeeper used to help Niko. It was hard for her when my parents died, having been with them so many years, but our household help were taken care of while we rebuilt. We needed their loyalty, and well, money can buy a shit ton of that.

“You all were rough on me when I came back from running off, and to be honest, I was going to leave again at some point, only with better planning. But then Evie started getting into trouble, and she became my priority. Now I realize I can’t leave no matter how much I might want to.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I can never leave, now. There is a price on my head. There always will be.”

***********

Charleigh

“The Alekseevs will wait here. You come with me, Miss Gates.”

The Pakhan’s second, as the guys call him, is gesturing at me to follow. But he can kiss my ass.

I look at the brothers. They’ve got to do something. They promised to protect me. And there can’t be anything more dangerous than leaving me alone with the Pakhan and his creepy associate. I mean, talk about throwing someone to the wolves.

I stand, happy I wore the highest heels I have. They kill my feet but make me feel like a serious bad-ass babe.

And I need all the bad-ass vibes I can get.

I approach the second, closer than I want to be to him, but I have a point to make. A very clear point. “I’m going nowhere without the guys. Sorry.”

I tilt my head defiantly, hoping like hell he doesn’t notice my shaking hands.

The guys have noticed though, and while they look cool, I know they’re ready to jump this asshole. In fact, there is probably nothing they’d like more, at the moment.

“I am sorry, lady. He says you. Alone,” he sneers back at me, smugness seeping from every pore.

I get it. This guy, and all the Bratva I guess, aren’t accustomed to women challenging them. It’s obvious. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to bend over for them.

Sorry, not sorry.

To prove my point, I go back to my chair and plop down, ignoring the second like he’s not even in the room. And as I do, I spot Niko and Vadik reflexively touching their guns under their suit jackets. I’ve become accustomed to this subtle movement. I’ve grown to find it strangely comforting, just like I suppose they do.

The only thing that would be more comforting would be if I had my own firearm.

The tension in the room over my stand-off grows, with the second insisting I come with him alone, and my insisting on only going if the guys can come with me. I don’t know how this is going to shake out, but I act like I don’t give a shit by looking around the room and occasionally examining my cuticles.

Like I haven’t a concern in the world.

Nope. Just another day at the office.

Niko gets to his feet and approaches the second, patting him on the back like they’re buddies who can easily come to an agreement.

The second doesn’t see it that way and stiffens at Niko’s touch.

“Charleigh’s been through a lot,” Niko says by way of explanation, “and the Pakhan knows that. He’ll understand. Now, shall we get the show on the road rather than make the man wait?”

The second’s expression is unchanging, like he’s some sort of ugly Russian robot.

I don’t wait to be left alone with the Pakhan, nor his second. I find it hard enough to trust the Alekseev brothers anymore, doing so only because I don’t have much of a choice. One of the men from their world hurt me, and I know others are perfectly willing to. Women aren’t valued by men like the Pakhan. We’re little more than chattel. Everything about my self-defense training says not to put oneself in a dangerous situation to begin with. And yet here I am, walking into the lion’s den.

The second’s phone beeps and he pulls it to his ear, continuing to keep an eye on the four of us. “Yes, sir?” he says. “She’s coming right away. Yes, sir. Thank you.”

He drops his phone back into the pocket of his ill-fitting suit and reaches to pat his weapon just like the brothers do.

“Lady, come,” he grunts.

What the hell. Is this how things end? We have a standoff and then everyone shoots each other dead?

What is with these men? They’re dangerous and scary but also sometimes incredibly fucking stupid.

I slowly push myself to my feet, like it’s a great bother. It’s clear I’m putting all of us in danger with my refusal to budge. Sure, I might end up in a difficult situation alone with the Pakhan, but in the interest of minimizing collateral damage, I cave. I consent to the second’s demand.

Like I ever had a choice.

“Fine. Let’s go. I’m ready,” I sigh, my posture strong as I fight the heaviness in my chest.

The heaviness I’ve been fighting for weeks.

I’ll go meet with the Pakhan. On my own. I’ll show him the carving on my stomach. I’ll show him the lump where my broken clavicle healed unevenly. I’ll show him the scar hidden by my hair, where I was hit with something that split my head open.

Seems that’s the only way to communicate with him. If he wants to see proof of what happened to me, I’ll fucking show him some.

I have no idea what this man has in store for me, but these recent weeks have been about conquering my fears. I’m strong, stronger than I have ever been, and I will face whatever shit comes my way. If, God forbid, something happens to me, I am comforted knowing the guys will look after Evie until she’s eighteen. They know sending her back to my father is not an option.

We leave the guys, a heavy door closing behind the second and me, and enter a long hallway. I am alone with him against my better judgement, against the guys’ better judgement, and it doesn’t feel good. I’ve only ever seen this guy around the club, usually with Dimitri, and it’s clear he’s trouble. Before I even knew anything about the world I’m now immersed in, I knew to watch my back around him, that’s now much slime oozes off him.

He might be loyal to his boss, the Pakhan, but he’s crazy like all these other men. And crazy comes with unpredictability. I might not have a firearm like all these guys do, something that makes me feel invincible, but I’ve managed to… acquire a little something that may come in handy. Just like the second and the brothers pat their jackets for reassurance that their firearms are close by, I pat my own pocket for comfort, where I’ve stashed a stiletto knife. The one my self-defense instructor was showing me how to use.

Which he doesn’t know I swiped from him.

The man was teaching me knife skills the other day. At the end of our session, he was packing up his stuff to leave, when his phone rang. He turned from me for a few seconds, and I helped myself.

I mean, where else was I going to secure a weapon? He’s lucky I didn’t steal his gun. I wanted to, but he surely would have noticed that missing. A knife, not so much, at least not right away.

From what I hope is a safe distance, I follow the second, fingering my own weapon the whole time. I’m not convinced I can defend myself with it, but if I have to, I’ll sure as hell try.

That’s all I can do.

We turn down a corner and approach a heavy wooden door. Before we reach it, the second stops and turns to me.

I wrap my fingers around the handle of my knife and widen my stance just like my instructor showed me.

“You know, lady, you aren’t worth all this bother. The Pakhan is wasting his time with you.”

Breathe…

“Guess it’s a good thing you’re not in charge then, isn’t it?” I quip. “And from what I know, you never will be in charge.”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that these men have outsized egos. The problem with that, for them, is they are easy targets for insults.

And the one I just hurled at the creep in front of me hit just the way I wanted it to.

He presses his lips together, and his face gets red, like he’s holding his breath. “Women are for men’s pleasure. But I am sure no man enjoys himself with an American whore like you.”

He pulls open big the door, standing behind it as he holds it for me. In a flash of what I can only call brilliance, I pretend to trip, falling against the door and pushing it into his face.

Hard.

“Ahhhrrrrgggg, you bitch!” he screams, his hand flying to his nose.

Which is now dripping blood.

Oops.

“Oh my gosh, Mister Second Man, I’m so sorry. Do you need a tissue?” I ask with all the fake concern I can muster.

While he growls, he looks over my shoulder. I follow his gaze and find the Pakhan sitting at a large table, watching the commotion.

And as soon as I turn back to the second, I see him winding up his arm, poised to strike me.

“Stop!”

The Pakhan is on his feet, pointing.

Holy shit. I didn’t count on being belted across the face by this cretin.

“You can leave now,” the Pakhan barks at him.

Blood drips into the second’s hand, and I have to say it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.

I jump out of the way as he leaves. “Sorry about that. Really. And I’m all out of tissues, darnit.”

The second glowers, causing me to step back further, out of his reach. “That was no accident, lady.”

“Maybe you’d like to tell the Pakhan what you said to me just before we entered the office? Hmmm? Something about being a… whore, I think it was?” I taunt.

I’m pushing it. I know it. And I don’t care.

He stands there, silent.

Yup. Just what I thought.

He can put a woman down but when it comes to owning up to it, he’s a big pussy.

Loser.

He slowly pulls the door closed.

I wave goodbye to him. “See ya!”