Chapter 35: Chapter 35
Charleigh
When I realize I don’t stand a chance against Vadik, I stop trying to push him away. Why waste the energy? I’m already worn out by today’s workout.
And his touch isn’t as bad as I thought it might be. I’d been dreading physical contact with anyone, even my sister, but Vadik’s hands are big, strong, and warm. And his eyes are full of caring. Say what you want about him, he is not a heartless monster. It just takes a little work to get beyond his thick, scaly exterior.
But I still have my limits and can’t make myself hold his gaze. It’s just too… uncomfortable. I’m looking anywhere but at his face, and he’s only inches from mine. If he wants more connection than I can give at this moment, he’ll have to go without. I’m not here for him that way, not today.
I’m like a big piece of glass with a crack down the middle. I can be repaired, maybe, but I also might crumble to pieces. I don’t know which. Neither do the guys. This weighs on them, I can tell. On one hand, I’m fortunate to have someone worrying about me. Most of my life, that has not been the case. But on the other, it’s a shitload of responsibility. I can feel the weight of it on my shoulders. I don’t want to let them down, and the pressure has been pushing me away.
We’re all hurting, but I can’t take care of them right now. They have to rely on their own resources. My distancing may feel hostile and cold, but I’m in survival mode and for the time being, they’ll just have to take care of themselves. I can’t take on their pain. I couldn’t if I wanted to.
I’m just getting by, for Christ’s sake. If it weren’t for my sister, I’m not even sure I’d bother.
In spite of myself, I can’t help but let my eyes flutter closed when Vadik’s lips land on my damp neck. He pushes wet strings of hair off my skin and it’s actually reassuring, like taking a deep breath after swimming the length of a pool under water. His kisses are calming, as if he’s telling me with his body that things will be okay.
In time.
Or maybe that’s the story I’m telling myself, one I’ve told myself so many times before. I am pretty sure I’ve lost my old optimism, but maybe there’s still a smidgeon somewhere deep inside, which Vadik is drawing out by taking on some of the pain that has so overwhelmed me.
His brothers settle in across the room, taking seats for themselves, and it dawns on me they are here for me. Like, really here for me. Not just physically, but also emotionally. They’re taking on some of my hurt so I can get ahead of it and maybe even at some point beat it off. That’s caring.
So I step away from Vadik and walk to the middle of the room. I drop my robe and stand there defiantly, stark naked, for all to see, and turn, finally making eye contact with each of the brothers. I’m not saying my unease, the itchiness I feel in my own skin, is gone or forgotten, but a little twist of desire, of want, has heated up inside me and it’s telling me to go with it, that the guys won’t hurt me and in fact will make me feel quite good if I let them.
And that I might enjoy making them feel good, as well.
“Come closer,” I say.
In seconds, I am surrounded by the three most beautiful men I’ve ever laid eyes on. Their dangerous good looks never stop amazing me, every damn time I look at them. To be honest, it takes my breath away that God made men so stunning and that for many godforsaken reasons, my life path has crossed with theirs. It’s looking like ours may be infinitely entwined, whether I want that or not.
On my left is Kir, whose thick black hair just brushes his shoulders, a small rebellion against his brothers’ more buttoned-up styles. Placing my hand on the back of his neck, I step closer,
until our lips touch. His kiss is gritty and rough and demanding just like he is, and his fists knead the flesh of my ass so hard I know he’ll leave bruises.
He makes me feel alive.
Directly in front of me is Niko, the charmer of the three Alekseev men, able to negotiate his way out of all manner of difficult situations just by order of his patient, easy-going persona. He’s young, closer to my age than the other guys, and we crack shared jokes about the music and TV shows of our time. I run my nails along his jawline facial scruff and settle them into his dirty blond hair, for once not sweeping aside the lock that always seems to fall into his face. The kiss he gives me is sensual, luxurious, and unhurried. When our tongues meet, my nipples stiffen even though the room’s grown warm.
He makes me feel safe.
Vadik stands on my right, and I return to kissing him the way I meant to just moments before. I draw back for a moment and run my finger down his crooked nose and he laughs, we all laugh, and he grabs a hank of my hair and pulls me to him for a deep, soul-clenching kiss, one that releases all the butterflies in my stomach that have been cocooned for too long. I run my open palms over his shaved head and remember what he looked like with a head of thick black hair like his brother Kir, which I saw in those strange photos from Dominika’s locker.
He makes me feel scared. In a good way.
Kir has started removing his jacket and tie, followed by Niko, and the way the men look at me is with so much desire it scares me for a moment, thinking I could never be what they want me to, could never measure up to their expectations.
But that’s to worry about another day because we’re here right now and I am enough, in fact, I’m more than enough. Dimitri and his gang might have inflicted their pain on me, both physically and mentally, but they haven’t stolen my soul, and this is something I need to reassure the Alekseev brothers of.
I back up toward my bed and when I reach it, take a seat and slide back. I fluff a pillow under my head because I want to watch everything, everything these men do to me. I spread my legs, and run one finger though my pussy in invitation. As if they need one.
I nearly come because I haven’t touched myself in so long, my desire having been deadened, and now I’m hyper-sensitive, and it’s fucking delicious. With the guys’ attentions on me, I lift my hips to grind against my hand, and slide one finger inside myself.
“Holy fuck,” Kir says, joining me on the bed. “You wanna suck some cock, baby?” he asks.
I smile and laugh, because of course I do. He inches up to where my head rests on a pillow and straddles my face like he’s about to fuck it. But before I take his cock, I let his balls fall to my mouth, where I lick and tease them, just to torment him a bit.
After, I grip his hard cock and direct it to my lips, where I taste his first drop of salty precum, then slide his head past my lips, where I give him a swirl of my tongue.
“Fuck yeah,” he grunts, pulsing his hips.
While I can’t see behind Kir, I know Vadik’s hands are on my thighs. He runs his tongue between my pussy lips, and I shudder from the sensation. He presses my thighs further apart and holds them there. I still manage to buck my hips despite his restraining me.
With Kir fucking my face and Vadik between my legs, I want still more and have an idea. I push Kir out of my mouth and off my face, and Vadik stops too.
I scramble to my knees. “Kir, lay down so I can get on top,” I say, pointing at the bed.
He smiles knowingly and a moment later, I’m sliding down his cock, my pussy full to its maximum. I lean with my head in the crook of his neck, my butt in the air. After licking my finger, I swirl it around my asshole as best as I can reach.
“Fuck. Would you look at that,” Niko groans.
That’s right. I know what I want. I know what I need. And I’d better get it soon or I will lose my mind.
“Baby, baby,” he says, getting behind me. He pushes my hand out of the way and takes over, dribbling spit on my rosebud. He presses against my opening, massaging and prodding, and works a finger inside. The sensation is surprising but after a few seconds starts to feel amazing. I explode in goosebumps.
I continue to grind on Kir’s cock, my clit rubbing against his stomach. I’m careful not to displace Niko with my movement, and when he pops another finger in my ass, I nearly lose my mind.
I push back on him for more. I can’t help it because I need to explode, to detonate, to forget who or where I am. I want to be fucked so hard I pass out into a dreamless sleep where I don’t worry about my problems again until the light of day, where everything is bright and happy and I feel no pain, no pain in my muscles or my brain or my heart.
As if he can hear my chaotic thinking, Niko presses something new against my behind, something much bigger than a finger or two. It’s hard and round, and it’s pushing and pushing until it pops inside, initially hurting like hell. I grind my teeth and groan while Kir whispers in my ear that the discomfort will pass.
“I don’t know, Kir, I don’t know if I can take it,” I cry, pounding the pillow next to his head.
Goddammit.
A cock in my ass and a cock in my pussy? How is that even possible?
He takes hold of my head and catches my gaze. “You can do it, push out a bit and take deep breaths.”
Niko gently stays where he is while something cold dribbles down my butt. He rubs it around and after a little more pulsing, which I am growing to love, he slides further inside.
Full doesn’t begin to explain the feeling of being fucked in two holes. I can’t see or think straight. I know a massive orgasm is building and every inch of me is so stimulated, so sensitive it almost hurts, like if someone touches me, my flesh will split open like an overripe piece of fruit.
This build and builds until I’m gasping for air and I don’t know who I am anymore, and I don’t care either. I explode into a level of ecstasy I didn’t know existed, my pussy and ass both contracting, doubling down on me, pushing me to the very edges of my already-tenuous sanity.
“More,” I murmur like a crazy bitch, bucking into both of the cocks that have taken me.
Kir holds my face. “Tell me, baby, is it good? Do you like being double-fucked?”
I grunt, wishing I could verbalize an answer. But words are elusive at the moment, so I nod, my hair flying all over.
I come over and over, floating on my orgasm like it’s a life raft that will save me, save me from the shit all around me, and maybe even save me from myself.
I’m not sure how long the guys hang out after our sexy session, but after one of them helps me clean up with a warm washcloth, I tumble into my bed like it’s heaven. My down comforter is pulled up to my chin and I fall into a deep, deep sleep, eternally grateful to know I can be touched without flashing back to the last time I was, when Dimitri’s team beat me to within an inch of my life to send a lesson to the Alekseev brothers. I didn’t know whether I would survive that day, and when it comes down to it, Dimitri probably should have made sure I was dead because I healed stronger and tougher than I knew I could, like scar tissue that grows around and over a wound. I’m not saying they could never hurt me again, but if they try, it’s not going to be as easy as it was, that much I know for sure.