Chapter 14: Chapter 14

I refused to see Matt and Julia during the time Sam and I organized our annulment.

It seemed to take forever. I had to take days off work because my health got so bad from the stress of it all. My doctor advised me to take a break from everything and

everyone.

With the papers signed I could finally get Sam out of my hair and I let him sort out the flat. Luckily we hadn't bought it together, only rented. That was something my dad was thankful for but my mum just couldn't get over the embarrassment of having to return wedding presents. I promised my parents I'd pay them back for the fortune they'd spent on my wedding. Dad told me not to be so silly – but if I got

married again, they wouldn't be heartbroken if I decided to elope.

I got a letter from Julia, who was then permanently located in Spain, to say that her

house in Wandsworth was sold and she had no ties in London now apart from me.

Also that she was coming back to sign papers and would love to see me. I said I'd

think about it.

But Riz was a great source of comfort to me. She kept me in man-size Kleenex and

red wine during what was the worst period of my life.

One evening I arrived home with lots of shopping bags in both hands and my phone

buzzing away in my handbag which was slung, awkwardly, around my shoulder.

I hurried to drop the shopping onto the floor and started rooting around for my phone. Finally, I found it and looked at the screen. I was shocked to see the name flashing in front of me. Tentatively I answered.

'Julia?'

'Hi Lori, hope I didn't catch you at a bad time.'

'Er, well, I just walked in the door and I've got a load of shopping and...'

'Well, I don't want to keep you. It's just I've come back. I'm in London, you know, to

sign the papers for the house.'

'Oh, right.'

'And I was just wondering if you were free tonight.'

'Tonight?'

'Yeah, you don't have to be out long. It's just that my flight back is tomorrow and

I'm a bit time-crunched and...I miss you.'

'Really?'

'Of course, I do, Lori. What do you think, I went away and forgot my best friend?'

'Well, I wouldn't have said we're best friends. Not now anyway.'

'That never changed for me, Lori. No matter how much of a bitch I was, you never were to me. You cared about me. You were the only one. Ours was the longest

relationship I ever had and I don't want it to be over.'

'Julia it already is.'

'It doesn't have to be. Look, I'm minutes from Hank's Bar. Remember our old

haunt?'

'How could I forget.'

'I'll be there at 7.30. If you can bear to look at me, I'd love to see you. Going to Spain without a goodbye hurt me. Not having you in my life hurts, even more, Lors.'

I didn't know what to say. I should have gotten off the phone so I could get my cold stuff into the fridge. I had a date with some stir-fried noodles and the Suburgatory

box set.

'You there?' Julia said.

'Yes. Look I don't know if it's such a good idea, Jules, I-'

'I'll be there anyway. If it gets to closing time and you don't show then I guess

I know it's over for us. I won't bother you again. But if you do come, well, I really

hope you do.'

'Bye, Julia.'

I hung up and walked like I was in a zombie trance to the kitchen and packed my shopping away. Riz came home and asked what was up. I was putting shampoo into

the kitchen cupboard.

'I got a call from Julia. She wants to see me.'

'And?'

'And I think I should go.' I got my tampons out of the fridge and went to change into something comfortable. I stir-fried my dinner and made a decision.

Hank's Bar was busy. It usually was on a Thursday. I saw Julia straight away and she saw me. She was at one of the tall tables along the sidewall and waved like a

madwoman when I walked in.

'I took the liberty of ordering your favorite cocktail.'

'That was presumptuous of you,' I said, not taking a seat on the stool she was pushing out for me. 'Am I still good old dependable Lori to you?'

'Not at all. If you didn't come I would have drunk it. It's my favorite too

remember?'

'That's true.'

'Take a seat?'

'Thanks.' I took a sip of my cocktail. 'So...how's Spain?'

'Great. I met a guy.'

'Spanish?'

'Dutch, actually. You'll like him.'

'Is he here?' I looked around.

'No I mean when you come...I mean, if you come. I mean one day when you can

handle spending more than five minutes with me.'

'I've been here more than five minutes haven't I?'

'You know what I mean. Lori, are you going to be this cool all evening?'

'Honestly, Julia. I don't know what you expect from me.'

'Well, nothing. I was just hoping for... well, I don't know what I was hoping for.'

'I just too soon. Maybe in time, I might consider coming over to Spain. Maybe you

and the Dutch guy will get married and I'll come to your wedding.'

'I'm sorry I wasn't at yours but I suppose, all things considered...'

'Let's not dwell on it. I'm feeling so much better than I was and look I'm here and

I didn't come to fight. I don't really know why I came but I'm sick of being angry and bitter. It's just not me.'

'I know. I hate what I made you become. It wasn't right, not for someone like you.

You have a good heart Lori and Sam never deserved you. Sorry, I know we said we weren't talking about the past but I had to say it. I also wanted to say that I know you won't want me as your best friend anymore but I would love to be something to you. Anything. We could write once in a while and my apartment is big. If you

fancy a trip to Barcelona then...'

'We'll see. I'll get us another round of these shall I?'

'No, tonight's on me.'

I watched Julia make her way to the bar. She'd lost a bit of weight but, as usual, the men were all looking at her. She turned back to me as she waited to be served and then got out her phone and made a call. Maybe it was to her Dutch boyfriend. It would've been great to hear about him. Just like the old days. But I wasn't sure I

would ask.

Julia came back with our drinks and had a big smile for me. I missed Julia's smile.

I put my head down and smiled at my lap.

'Cheers,' Julia said. I raised my glass and drank. As usual, the cocktail slipped down quickly and deliciously. I had work the next day so I planned to make that the last.

'So,' Julia sighed, 'did you speak to Matt recently?'

'Recently? No. I haven't spoken to him since the showdown. I wanted to make a

clean break of the whole Awesome Foursome thing.'

'I understand. But of all the people you should have seen again, it should have been

him.'

'Why do you say that?'

'Because he's in love with you, Lori.'

'How do you know?' I screwed up my eyebrows.

'What do you think he and I talked about when we were supposed to be dating? All he ever did was ask about you. Every time. Until all we'd end up talking about, was you? You were the only thing we had in common. It was obvious to me he was falling in love. I'm surprised you never caught on. But then, why would you?'

'I wish things had been different. Imagine we could turn back the clock. This was

the place we met them, isn't it?'

'I remember it well.'

'If we had that day back, I would have listened to you when you said you wanted

Sam and I would have gotten to know Matt and maybe...'

'I know. But what if Matt walked in now. No Sam and no me. Would you talk to

him?'

I stopped to think about it. The memories of being in Matt's company, wrapped in his arms, kissing him, made me feel warm. I blushed and smiled. 'Yes, yes I would

talk to him.'

'That's good to know,' said a voice from behind me. I swung around.

'Matt!'

'I hope you don't mind if I join you?'

'Er...' I looked at Julia.

'Don't look at me, I have a plane to catch tomorrow. I need to pack.' She picked up her bag and kissed my cheek. Her lips were cool from the ice in the cocktail and she was wearing her favorite perfume. 'I'll see you in Barcelona,' she said and disappeared through the crowd towards the door. I turned to Matt who had taken

her seat.

'I have missed you so much, Lori. I hope you don't mind the setup.'

'No, no I don't. I'm happy to see you, Matt. I think that eventually, I would have

called you anyway.'

'Really?'

'I missed you too. I missed that feeling I had when you and I... It didn't go away and

I know what it means now.'

'Something good?'

'Something very good.'

Matt smiled and touched his lips to mine. I was in no way confused about how that

kiss made me feel.

'You know what?' I said when I opened my eyes.

'No. What?'

'I think being part of a twosome is going to be a whole lot more fun.'