Chapter 30: Chapter 30
It’s been a month of not knowing where his family is. Acwell stopped communicating with Kamiah. He realizes that she will not respond to his messages and emails or answer his calls.
On the second week that they were gone, he just started to find ways to enjoy his life being alone. Acwell has not talked to anyone regarding his personal life. He still and had not accepted that he and Kamiah are already separated. For him, they are still together.
The following week, Acwell had thought of what Catrina was asking him. He finally decided to give her a chance and be a father to his daughter. When she was begging for him to visit his daughter one day, he agreed.
Acwell knocked on the door of Catrina’s apartment. She opened it and smiled at him. Acwell smiled. It’s for the first time that he did not force it. He was happy being there, not for her but for his daughter.
He immediately played with Amara. Sometimes Catrina would join them. And they had fun doing things together.
When Amara slept, Acwell stayed and talked to Catrina.
“I have given a thought of what you said,” Acwell said.
Catrina’s eyes brightened, and she asked, “And?”
“I am giving you a chance to show me that it’s all worthy of me being here with you. At some point, I don’t think Kamiah wants me, but it doesn’t mean I have given up on her. I will when she tells me that she doesn’t want me. It lso means my heart is still not entirely yours. I am doing this for my daughter, especially that I miss my son being around.”
“That is fine. That is a start. I am sure you will find that we are your best choice, Acwell.”
“I will be coming here after work to spend two or three hours with Amara. And to see if we can go a day without fighting.”
“Why won’t you stay here with us?”
“I still can’t. If there is a small chance of Kamiah taking me back, I don’t want to ruin it by being here.”
Catrina paused because it hurts her to hear that.
“But if there is no way for Kamiah and me to be together, I might consider being with you.”
Catrina’s face brightened. She had been hoping for that for a long time, and maybe this is really the start.
“But I am sorry, I still could not love you the way I did with Kamiah. I don’t know if, as we go along, it would change. Maybe it will if I see I am happy here.”
Catrina cried. She doesn’t know whether to be happy with it or be sad that Acwell just got forced to be with her.
“Don’t cry. Isn’t this what you wanted? I will be here more often, and now you could show me what you think I have ignored all these years.”
“I am grateful that you even considered that. But I also can’t stop feeling hurt that this situation happened by force and not to your liking. I wished it was something different.”
“What you wished I could not give. Maybe not now. Who knows in the future.”
“I know. I will try my best to make you happy.”
“Now, I need to go.”
Acwell went home that night feeling hurt and responsible at the same time.
“This is good. At least I could take responsibility for Amara. Happiness might come in the future,” he said to himself.
For the following days, Acwell would go straight to Catrina’s apartment after his shift. He would play and watch cartoons with her. Sometimes they would go for a walk in a nearby park.
He also noticed Catrina changed a little. She had become for smiling, less argumentative, which made it easier for him to deal with her. They would talk but more about Amara, not about themselves. But it was good in a way; they began to throw jokes that made them enjoy their company somehow.
After a week, Acwell had started to enjoy his time with Catrina and Amara.
“I guess it’s not bad. Maybe, indeed, it’s a change that I need for myself,” Acwell told himself one night.
Three days before the month ended, Acwell held Catrina’s phone because his phone was low battery. He wanted to order food for their lunch. When he unlocked the screen, the Facebook messenger appeared right away. Acwell was about to close the app, but there was a message that caught his attention. It was the one with Raven Cruz. It reminded him of Kamiah’s Facebook account; she put only parts of her name - Raven Cruz instead of Kamiah Raven Cruz-Peters.
He opened it and was shocked to read the message. Catrina sent a message the last night he saw Kamiah.
“Amara is sick today, Acwell came, and I wanted him to stay. Stop asking him to come home and at least let her daughter see that her father was there for her.”
Acwell frowned and felt like he could slap Catrina out of anger. He was about to yell at her when he turned his head, but he saw Amara.
Acwell closed his eyes and sighed. Then, he said, “Catrina can we talk?”
“Sure, Acwell! What happened? You can’t contact the restaurant?”
“What's this message you send to Kamiah?”
Catrina was tongue-tied for a second. She did not expect him to find out about it.
“Ah, Acwell, at that night that I sent her a message, I was full of worry and desperate. I just want you to be with me while Amara is sick.”
“Why did you do that to her?” Acwell yelled.
“But Acwell, it’s all in the past, and she is no longer here.”
“Kamiah and my son left the next day! This is all because of you."
"What is it my fault that they left? Who knows maybe she is with another man?
"I have known Kamiah to be loyal even to the point that I was hurting her so bad. She did not know that I was visiting you in my off. I wanted to talk to her about it that day, but you made her feel like she was the one getting in the way between us.”
“But isn’t it? It’s because of her and her son that you can’t visit your daughter. You don’t want to hurt her while we suffer.”
“Yes, I did not want to hurt her. But I know she would understand me visiting my daughter. I did not tell her because you make me hate coming here.”
“Acwell, I did not do that much it's just a message. It's up to her if she misunderstood it. I am sorry.”
“You did enough to tear us apart! Can't you see that?”
"Acwell I am sorry."
Acwell turned and left. Now, he understood what made Kamiah gave up. He is so angry, but he can’t show it to Amara. It's better for him to walk away and find ways to cool down.