Chapter 19: Chapter 19

“I know more about Britt than you do!  He didn't seem to know anything about Britt at all.  If you don't know, don't make Britt cry."  After that, he pushed me into the car.  The car quickly left the school.  Sitting in my car and he each had a different mood.  “Tomorrow Saturday, are you busy?  If not, I'll take you and your mother to play!"  Suddenly he spoke up.  I nodded, I won't be busy tomorrow.  Leo, my aunt gave it back to me.  Okay, tomorrow I will go with you to relax the mood.

"What time tomorrow?"  I ask.

"I'll come pick you up at eight o'clock!"  He replied.  Then the two remained silent.  Honestly, I really want to say a lot of things to you, but I don't know how.  "You love him so much, don't you?"  He asked again.

"Yes!  Three years is not a short time!”

“Yes, I want you to find your happiness.  Let's try to overcome the storm, I believe you two will be together again."

I also hope what you say.  Is Simon patient enough to hold my hand through or just see the wind hastily let go?

:

Since the evening, I have prepared for the next day's outing with him.  My heart is very excited, because it has been a long time since I have been with you.  Toss and turn all night, unable to sleep.  Leo is different, he sleeps very well.  I got out of bed and sat down next to the crib where Leo was sleeping.

"Later, when you grow up, you won't be like your father.  You can't make any woman cry.  I know my son will be very good.  I know, if you don't have a father, it's a big loss, but you know what, Dad doesn't love us.  Don't be sad, I will give you a life without anything.  Except for three children.”  I gently stroked her pretty cheeks.  Skin is smooth, looks like it wants to bite.

When I sit and watch Leo, I fall asleep all the time.  In my dream, I saw Simon taking my baby away, no matter how much he screamed, he still carried him.  Leo cried a lot, I also cried a lot.

“Whoa…oa…waa” I jolted awake from the sound of crying.  It turned out to be a dream, nothing at all.  Leo is still with me.  I walked over to pick him up, hand taking a bottle of ready-made milk to feed him.  After suckling for a while, it sleeps again.  Just eat and sleep.  Putting it lightly in the crib, I looked at my pet again.  The more I look at it, the more I love it.

“You’re always on my mind…”

"Hello, who is that?"

"I'm here, are you up, it's seven o'clock!"  What, it's seven o'clock, why didn't anyone tell me all about it.  I got up.

“I…was up, changing Leo's clothes!”  I said steep, I haven't changed my clothes yet.

"Um, I'll be over in a bit!  Goodbye!"  He hung up.  I crawled out of bed, looking at the cradle.  Oh my gosh, it's empty.  Where's Leo?

“Auntie, where is Leo?”  I ran downstairs.  Leo was in his aunt's arms.  Makes me go crazy.  Auntie looked at me and smiled.

"This little girl, her hasty temper doesn't give up!"  Aunt scolded love me.  I'm afraid to die, I've always been.  Going up to my room, I did personal hygiene and changed clothes.

Near eight o'clock, the doorbell rang.  I went to open the gate, it was you.  He arrived earlier than I thought, fortunately I work personally at the speed of light.

"Let's go, baby!"  He patted my head.

"Yes, I'll wait for you!"  I ran into the house to get the things I had prepared from the evening and gave it to him.  He struggled to pack his things in the trunk of the car.  Finally, I picked up Leo.  The baby did not know anything strange, so everyone raised their hands to ask for a hug.  He is no exception.

After all three were seated in the car, they started rolling.  This time we went to the suburbs.  A field of dandelions or something.  The place Simon promised to go with me.

"He looks like Simon, doesn't he?"  he asked.

"Why do you know that?"

"Looking at that unruly, careless face and cold eyes, you can tell it's his son!"  He said while smiling.  I laughed too, the kid laughed too.  Loud chatter all the way.

Arriving there, I got off the car, this is a large field of dandelions.  Some people come here to take pictures, there are people like you and I-come here to relax.

He took the highest seat here.  It was a large mound with a spreading banyan tree that shaded the whole area.  I spread the cloth bath, put the food basket on, and he carried Leo around.  The boy seems to like him.

I stood and watched his inherently cold appearance making fun of a strange-looking child.  The wind blew softly, a familiar scent enveloped me.

"Happy huh?"  I turned my back to the voice.  It's Simon again, it's always him.  Always show up “at the right time”.

"It's not what you think!"  I answer.  He steps closer to me, I step back, he moves forward, I step back.  Right now, I really don't want to cuddle.  Dead hot.  His lips moved as if he was about to say something.

"Brother Simon"

Myouin?  Why are the two of them so sticky these days.  Simon turned to follow the call, he was quite surprised.

"If you want to fight jealousy, you have to go alone, why bring your little lover?"  I chuckle.

"It's not what I thought it was."  How does he know what I think and not what I think?

“I'm sure what I think.  And now, I hope you return the peace when you first come here for me.  Please!"  I clasped my hands in front of my chest, looking pitiful.

“Do you hate me that much?  Just because of that, do you want to let go?"  He asked me.  Myouin just watched from behind, this time it's smart, I'll cross my jaw when I walk over.

“I never wanted to let go, just because your hand never held mine.  I can't hold it by myself alone, when I'm tired, I'll let go because you never pulled me back!"

“It was just a reason, a reason for me to come to him.  I had a thousand reasons to love you, and now I have a thousand reasons to leave you."  He turned his back, right now I want to walk up to him and hug him from behind like my heart tells me but my mind won't allow it.

“I love you for no reason, I love you unconditionally.  Even though we have children together, I have never used the word responsibility to tie you down.  We're too young, you, too young, so who doesn't make a mistake.  It's just a mistake that leads to what consequences.  We also messed up on a drunken night, if I hadn't been drugged, if you had been able to control it, things would have been better."  I said, my stomach throbbing a few beats.  I saw him gasp.  Hands in pants pockets like a hard habit to break.

"Okay, I won't say anything more."  He walked away, his hand not forgetting to grab another hand that was already waiting.  I found my hand so lost, so empty.  I smiled and said to the wind:

"You know, I want to let go!"

"Do you really love him?"  He asked me.  I was surprised when he asked that.  Of course I love him very much.

"Yes, I love him!"  I replied softly.

"So how important is he to you?"

“It's the air!”

“If it's air, you shouldn't deny it.  I don't really love him.  I just want to possess!”  He stood up and walked towards the back of the light.

“My heart breaks because he cares about others, I cry because he cheats on me, I… I…”

“What else do I have?  Those are just temporary feelings!  I feel lost when I lose him.  My heart doesn't hurt, that feeling is called anger, anger when someone takes away something that should be yours.  Believe me, if you really love him, forgive him.  Let him take care of you, take care of you.  Let him walk towards you on his own, don't possess it."  He said and smiled, running a hand through his hair.  Right now, it's like I just woke up from a coma.

Do I love him or do I really want to possess.  I said not to use the word "responsibility" to bind him, but I bound him with my possession.  Am I wrong or is he wrong?  Why is everything so messed up?

“Make up with him and forgive him, everyone does everything for a reason!  I believe he really loves you, only you are a liar!  Let's go home, it's night!"  He picked up the sleeping Leo, holding mine with his other hand.

Tossing and turning all night about what you said, am I the one who lied about this?  I reached for my phone, the background image remained unchanged.  Still a picture of a family of three happy together.

"Forgive?  Do you still want to hold my hand?”  I whispered softly.

Sunday went by quickly with a thousand hectic and busy things.  No homework, no child care, no messages asking questions from friends made me confused.  There's no free time to think about Simon.

It's time to go to school and I still haven't finished two math problems.  This style is only available to borrow books to copy in.  The school is unfair, the Math class is too much, while the English major just plays around all day.

"Hey, sister!"  I turned around, a girl with a lovely oval face, small lips and very charming dimples was smiling at me.

"Did you call me?"  I ask.

"Yes, there's a guy who asked me to give you this."  The little girl held out a small box of chocolate candies.  I took it and she quickly ran away.

There was another letter "I know that if I give it, you won't accept it, so I asked a pretty girl to give it to me.  I hope you give me back this candy box on the school's rooftop at recess.  If you'll forgive me, eat all the dark chocolates.  If your anger is not over, eat all the white pellets.  The color left in the box for you to eat!”

I laughed at his overbearing way of apologizing.  It could only be Simon.  I opened the box, took all the black balls and ate them all, I will listen to you.  Forgive each other.

The feeling after eating those hateful sweets is "Bored".  Very, very boring.  No matter how much water you drink, that sweet taste hangs around in your neck.  I want to vomit it all.

When it was time to play, I went up to the roof as he said.  As soon as I got up, I saw him standing there.  No Myouin, good.  I hate seeing that little girl's face.

“Give me back as I said!”  I gave him a box of chocolates.  He took it back, but his face was filled with concern.  “Open it, see what color is left!”  His hand slowly opened the lid of the box.  White chocolates appear.  He looked at me and smiled, I smiled too.

"Thank you!"  He hugged me.  My arms wrapped around his waist tightly.  I don't want us to lose each other again.

Since the day I made up with him, I find that this life has much more meaning.  No more days of torment in pain, no more days of nostalgia to go crazy.  Also since the day we made up, I haven't seen him anymore.  He just sent me a text message with a few short lines “When you are in the most pain, remember me!  If you're happy, give it to Simon!"  I was moved to tears by this message.  He is a good man.

Now, every night, I often call him to confide in him.  On the phone, I always hear his voice smiling softly.  He's always been like that, eighteen years he's always been like that.  Always listen to me, always cover and protect me.  He never hides anything from me.  Maybe that's why I was shocked when I found out that Simon was cheating on me.

"Men are not all the same, only you love me unconditionally, I don't let you compete with anyone.  Because you are my second brother.  In society, it's different, no one loves me unconditionally and if I want to keep my happiness, I have to know how to get rid of the redundant out of the game!  Remember!"

His voice is soft but determined, he always has a cold and ruthless.  With whom, I don't know, but with me, you never hurt me.

"I got it!"  I answer.  You're right, I have to take the third guy out of the game and finish this game.  As long as that girl was with Simon, that day I did not have happiness.  He smiled slightly on the other end of the line.  “Tuck…tn…” The end of the call rang out.  I gently put down the phone.

"Myouin, it's time for you to take back what's yours!"  I said softly.  Now I look evil.

The next day at school, Simon wasn't with me, but I knew he wasn't with Myouin either.  Because I had just reached the intersection of tenth and twelfth blocks when I met little Myouin standing there.

"You two made up?"  I had just walked in when she spoke up.  I stopped and turned to face the girl.

"Yes, made up."  I answer.

"So quick, huh?"

“That was enough time for me to have Simon but I couldn't, what a shame!”