Chapter 16: Chapter 16

He turned reflexively, I know for sure, he saw me now.  His pale face was so pitiful.  You want me to play the devil?  I'm ready.

“It's not… you… you're…” I didn't let him finish.  "Bop" came a horrible sound, his face etched with my five fingers.  I chuckle.

"Lie!"  Tears rolled down my face.  Hit you, I hurt too.  You hurt one and I hurt ten.  I thought that hitting one would make my heart light, but unexpectedly, hitting him made my heart heavier.

"What right do you have to hit him?"  Myouin stepped forward and pushed me away, staring at me with a stabbing face.

“Bob” I hit Myouin in the face and she fell to the ground.  I looked down at the crying little girl.  “I took the right to be the mother of Simon's son, I beat him and you!  What, any ideas?"

All was silent, the whole plaza was messed up by me, fortunately the old lady didn't interfere, if she did, I would just say she had porridge for the rest of her life.

I turned my back and walked quickly out of the plaza, despite the tears falling, my hands aching, everyone looking at me.  I keep running, now I don't know where I'm going.

My phone rang, it was Simon.  I turned off the phone, right now, I don't want to hear his voice.  I don't want to hear false explanations from that person anymore.  I wish he didn't save me that night, just let it be.

***

At ten o'clock at night, I sat on the swing in the yard waiting for New Year's Eve.  I clearly remember him saying "This year's New Year's Eve, I will welcome you with me!"  I was very happy then, but now I realize, it was just a word.

“You're always on my mind, all day that all the time, you're every thing to me, brightest start to let me see,…” My phone rang again, it's   Simon, I turned off the phone, locked the power again  .  Now I'm so tired.

"Who calls but I don't listen!"  I didn't know when my aunt came out here.

"It's a strange number, auntie!"  I answer.

"Why hasn't Simon come yet, he said he'll spend New Year's Eve with me!"

"He's not coming!"  Speaking of which, my tears fell again, how good would it be if he went with me to Thailand.  Now we are here to celebrate New Year's Eve together.

She understood me very well, she did not say anything more.  Both of them were silent, the wind blowing gently through the trees as if crying for a love that was about to be broken.

On the third day of Tet, Anne and I went to the beach.  This child has a lot of money, squandering it everywhere.  I played with it and got the nickname "shell boss", because I'm very stingy, nothing to buy is only Anne's.

On the second day of the three-meal soup, he called to invite me to go, I immediately agreed.  My aunt took him to travel abroad, and I was alone at home.  Going back and forth alone is also boring.  Well, let's go and play for the mind to relax, forget all the embarrassing things.

At five o'clock in the morning, he and I went out to Osaka, my body was in pain while sitting on the train.  Stretching my shoulders, I take a big breath of the sea air, it's so comforting.  It dragged me to rent a hotel, choose a cheap room, only Vip will bear it.  This Anne is out of medicine for her money-scratching sickness.

I laughed and said that, but my heart hurt, I kept remembering the promises he told me.  After putting away my clothes, closing the door of my room, I went to the sea, at this time everything was still very quiet.  Only a few people were lying in the early morning sun in the sea.  I guess that's it, but it's raining, where do you get the sun to bathe?

I walked along the beach, collected seashells and shells to admire and then threw them back into the sea.  If only time could turn back like I threw a snail shell into the sea.

In the distance stood a young man, a figure very similar to Simon.  Maybe I was hallucinating, I love him so much, I hate him so I see him everywhere.  I turned my back as if trying to banish the images in front of me.

“Brother Simon!”  The sacred call sounded very strange but also very familiar, pulling my legs to stop and inciting my eyes to look in that direction.  It's true Simon, I'm not dreaming, why so "lucky".  See you wherever you go.

He and Myouin were walking towards me but perhaps, he couldn't see me.  I'm not going anywhere, just standing there dumbfounded and watching.  The two of them got closer and closer to me, so close that he was standing in front of me.

“What a coincidence!  Everywhere I go, I see you two!"  I looked him in the eye, not a bit embarrassed.  I looked down again at the arm that was naturally wrapped around his arm.  In this situation, I might be called the third person.

“Um, what a coincidence!”  Where did he get such cold talk?

"You seem to be happy inside, it seems that everything between you and me before, I don't remember anything!"  I continued to laugh, I laughed to try to hide the tears that were about to flow.  I started talking nonsense.  “Here, give it back to me, I don't deserve it, you let the one you really love keep!  Don't be sad because of what you have, I don't blame you, just treat me as a wind blowing through your life!"  I took Myouin's hand and pushed the ring into her palm.  Unexpectedly, when anger and jealousy reached their peak, I could speak in such a noble manner.

“You keep it, Britt!”  He took out the ring from Myouin's hand and placed it on my palm.  I looked at him, then back at the ring.  Grief led me to a decision that he and I did not anticipate.  I took the ring and threw it straight into the vast ocean and shouted:

"Simon Howard, I love you!"  The moment the ring touched the water, my tears fell.  Long flowing.  So hot.  I'm not crying, just my eyes are sweating.  But why does my heart hurt so much?

“As long as you want to be with me, find that ring!  I'll do it!"  I spoke to him as if whispering into the wind.  He raised his hand to wipe my tears, very gently, very gently.  "Perhaps, I'm going to lose you!"  I pushed his hand away.

Please, don't leave any more memories.  I don't want to eat those memories every night and cry.  I turned to leave before my tears flowed again.  This love probably won't have a happy ending, instead of holding on, I will let go and wish you happiness.

"How long will you love me?"

"Forever"

Those two words are too beautiful, too luxurious.  The past appeared in me, if only you didn't say anything.  Don't promise to love me forever, maybe now, my heart won't hurt like that.  I asked, why did you do that?  Why did you give me happiness and wipe it off with a knife?!

I never owned you or am I about to lose you?

After going through a long Tet holiday and endless sadness, I have to go to school again today.  Again having to plunge into the pile of books to prepare for the upcoming semester and university exams.  Honestly, I'm really tired of studying, but for the sake of my children's future, I have to work hard.

I entered the school, empty.  There was no one walking beside me to hold my hand, no one to confide in me.  Tell yourself, "You've been going to school for twelve years and you've walked into the school gate alone, no Westerners have died.  There's nothing to be upset about when he's only held your hand for two weeks."

Walking along the corridor to go to class, I met him again, still standing there.  The eyes are far away like a person with a lot of emotions.  There's a little bit of regret in me, a little bit of anger, a little…a little…love.

He looked at me, his eyes met, my heart felt like an electric current ran through.  Very intense feeling.  I stood there, dumbfounded looking at his smile.  This is the first time I've seen that fake smile.  I had to look back to see if there was anyone behind me, but when I made a mistake, I realized it was wrong.

“You laugh at me!  Where are you looking?"  He stepped closer to me, gently brushing away the stray locks of hair.  I held his hand back.

“Don't, don't touch me!  I don't want to accept these intimate gestures only to find out it was a lie!  I'm happy with Myouin, so please come back to her, don't try to hold on to this side and pull the other.  Only you and Myouin suffer.  That girl loves you very much, but I dare say: no one loves you more than me."  I dodged the railing and looked down at the school's backyard.  He walked and stood behind me, no hugs, no shoulders.  Now, there is a distance between me and him.

"I'll give you an explanation, okay?"  he asked.

"Tell me, I'm ready to listen!"  I turned to look at him, trying to force the best smile I could, but right now, I think my smile was twisted and unsightly.

“You were wrong when you hid from me!  My love for you is real, for you is real.  I love you more than I thought.  The day he went to the airport, his car accidentally caused an accident to Myouin, her family had a deep relationship with his family.  Because he didn't want to be blamed, he took her to the hospital.  I was going to tell you the truth too but…” At this, he paused.

"But why?"  I asked again.

“But I was afraid that you would be jealous, so I hid it, I thought you went on a trip to Thailand, so I hid it, unexpectedly, when I went to the plaza, I met you again.  He was very surprised.  That day was the day Myouin was discharged from the hospital, his mother invited her family to come over to his house to play with her.  I didn't meet anyone that day, so I was shunned by you.  On the day of going to the beach, his mother asked him to take her to the beach to lighten the mood after the accident.  Unexpectedly, there I met you again!"

“Oh, so it is!  If you tell me, aren't you a very weak man?  He did not dare to disobey his mother, he did not dare to say that he had a lover, he did not dare to say that he had a child, he did not dare to say anything.  I can only stand silently and watch you get hurt.  But brother, I have lost faith in you once, how can I trust you a second time?"

"Why?"  He held my hand.

“Because I didn't dare to bet my heart on a game of chess when I knew I was the loser.  Don't tell me that your mother wants Myouin to be your daughter-in-law, so you don't dare argue back.  Am I right?"

“…”

"You know, I'll be quiet.  You don't have to worry about Leo, alone, I can raise him to adulthood.  From today, you and I will not have any relationship anymore.  Hello!"  I turned my back, it was good, this time my tears didn't fall.  Maybe it's exhausted.

"Do you accept that your children are orphaned?"  He shouted.

“Yes, it would be better for him to be orphaned than to have a weak father like you.”  He walked quickly towards me.  He took out a piece of paper from his bag and gave it to me.

“That's just what you said, but legally, it's your child.  It's your last name!  He is the grandson of the Kudo family, he is qualified to own all the assets you have."  He gave me Leo's birth certificate.  The words of the huge name caught my eye.  Leo Kudo.  Shocked, I was in total shock.  Honestly, he played this move too well.  Apparently, I lost to him again.

After school, I wandered home.  That said, there is a decent shuttle that doesn't go, it's strange to like walking.  While I was counting my steps, I bumped into a guy dressed in black from head to toe.  Even though you seriously looked at me.  Maybe color.  I bowed to apologize but was stopped.  What do you mean?  Shouldn't I be compensated?

“The owner wants to see you!”  That guy pointed to the coffee shop across the street.  Mistress?

“I don't work for anyone, but what is the mistress here telling me?  You guys must have messed up!"  I smiled and tried to dodge people to pass, but the intention was not successful.  Got caught by that guy.

“Your mother Simon wants to see you!”  Ah, ah, why didn't you say so in the first place.  Easier to understand but also easier to handle.  That guy led me across the street, took me to the table where she sat.  I bow my head politely.

"Hello uncle!"  No no no, she glanced from top to bottom to judge me for sure.  Because she's Simon's stepmother, she's an adult after all, so I'll hold back.  But for normal people, my eyes are drawn.