Chapter 23: Chapter 23

"Belle if you don't open this door I swear I'll break it," Malcolm threatened but his voice was far from threatening rather it sounded like he was in pain as I was. I couldn't even yell at him to go away as I sat there on the floor with my knees pressed against my chest crying my eyes out and causing myself a splitting headache.

For the life of me, I couldn't understand why Malcolm was so patient with me and I couldn't understand why he was still causing a ruckus outside my bedroom door even when the evening rolled around.

"I remember the last time I confronted my rapist," he sighed finally resorting to just talking to me as he realised I wasn't going to open the door," It went better than I hoped but I'm not proud of what I did to him but because I let my anger take control I ended up being the last thing he saw," Malcolm said with a pause a slight crack in his voice, I waited for his next words attentively shortening my sniffs and sobs to focus on nothing else but his soothing voice.

"The hardest part was coming down from my rage fogged mind. Watching the life drain from his eyes was the most painful thing I have to relive every single night. I can't fall asleep without my sleeping tablets. Otherwise, if I close my eyes even for a second all I see is nothing more than those dead calculating eyes. Belle, I can't imagine how you're feeling right now or how much pain you're in but trust me when I say keeping it all bottled up is the worst thing you could do," his voice was nothing more than that of a broken man trying to rebuild himself.

I hated how much we had to suffer and for God knows what? Most people spend their entire lives suffering and I know the saying goes "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but that's not always the case. Sometimes people can't handle the pain and they kill themselves or inflict their pain onto others to make them feel what they feel. Just because I understood why people hurt each other didn't mean I was going to go on a personal vendetta to make everyone feel the pain I was in, no that would be considered selfish no matter how tempting it was. I would never wish my pain upon another living being because that's just the way I was.

Malcolm was in pain and he took it out on the man who gave him that pain. He wasn't justifying his wrongs but he was apologizing for his unjust actions and he probably will be apologizing until the day he died and that guilt will be the deciding factor of where his soul is sent; Heaven or Hell.

No one could blame him for what he did, he was just a kid with too much pent up anger and emotions that was instantly released in one moment and on a person he hated most no less which just made the situation worse. I'm sure all he saw that day was red and nothing but that, he was angry beyond a shadow of a doubt but most of all he was hurt which was a catastrophic combination that only ended in bloodshed.

"P.B you know shit happens to everyone and it's what you do after that determines what type of a person you want to be. I did a very bad thing Belle which makes me a very bad person but I know you are nothing but the purest among all the rotten fruits in the world, that's what I love most about you. You always see the good in people no matter what and that's a feature everyone admires about you, you're one of the good ones in this messed up world so don't you dare let one bad thing twindle that magnificent smile of yours," I was in tears once more after his speech and not from what happened earlier but rather from what he said that was spoken from the heart and spoke volume.

He spoke about me as if he held me on a peddle stool which made my heart feel such a rash. I couldn't explain how it beat him in that very second. My chest bloomed in warmth as I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand before I stood up on shaky legs. I breathed out heavily staring at the locked door imagining how Malcolm looked on the other side of the door.

Malcolm was never the type to break down so when I heard a sniff from outside my door my heart shattered into millions of little pieces. With trembling fingers, I unlocked the door only to be surprised to see Malcolm on the floor sitting against the door to fall back when I opened it. I couldn't help but smile as he smiled sheepishly exposing those abnormally long canines of his.

"How you doing?" He beamed using Joey's line from Friends as he lay on the floor on his back not planning to sit up anytime soon.

"Better now." I smiled bending down to sit cross-legged looking down at Malcolm. He pushed himself up with his arms to lay his head on my lap, I ran my fingers through his soft well-maintained locks. They felt like silk through my fingers and I slowly massaged his scalp making him close his eyes in content with a wide grin.

We were interrupted by the clearing of a throat coming from my father who looked down at us with questionable eyes.

"Hi Dad," I said sheepishly watching his eyes go up in shock at the fact that I called him "Dad". I couldn't blame him because the last time I called him that was the day my mom died and maybe he was a little surprised to see my eyes bloodshot.

"Is there something I should know?" He asked with a raised brow looking at our relaxed postures.

"Nope everything is fine we were just having a heart to heart," I lied with a small smile, Malcolm opened his eyes looking up at me with a raised brow.

"Then why is Goldilocks looking at you like you just told a lie?" Dad asked with narrowed brows.

"He's bound to find out from the police so best tell him now before they do," Malcolm said quietly looking at me with tender eyes.

"The police?" Dad asked in shock, not liking the idea of another visit from the police. I couldn't blame him for his reaction because I was starting to resent the police as well.

"Fuck you and your luscious hair," I playfully pulled Malcolm's ear making him chuckle with his eyes closed.

"I'm down if you are," Malcolm smirked, making me shake my head at him.

"I did not need to hear that and what do you mean hear what from the police?" Dad asked worriedly, keeping his concerned eyes on me.

"Just umm a little incident," I meekly said, playing with my fingers through Malcolms hair.

"A little incident? You nearly died Belle." Malcolm said outraged as he abruptly sat up mirroring my pose as he maintained eye contact with me.

"What?" Dad asked, outraged, turning his eyes from Malcolm to mine.

"Well, now you might as well tell him everything," I sulked like a little child not able to look either of them in the eye. Malcolm followed my advice and told my dad everything and I mean everything.

Having my dad know everything was like sharing a secret part of myself I've been hiding from him and the more Malcolm talked about what happened the more I shrieked into my shell. I felt so exposed and that was a feeling I loathed the most.

"How could you be so fucking stupid?" Dad asked with absolute disappointment and rage-filled in his eyes.

I didn't know what to say but I felt hurt more than anything else. I should've expected this of course he would be mad any sane person would but what I didn't expect from him was the way he spoke. He made it sound like I was the dumbest human being alive and didn't learn from their mistakes and yes I could understand why he would say that but it was unnecessary to be that rude. No one else was doing anything to find my attackers and it took a teenager and young adult to find the attackers while the adults sucked their thumbs and did nothing.

"You have no right to yell at me, you did nothing to help find my attackers. All you did was suck faces with Lauren." I bitterly said standing up, I wasn't enjoying the huge height difference when I was on the ground.

"What is up with you taking out your anger on everyone else huh? Lauren did absolutely nothing wrong yet you somehow bring her up, what has gotten into you?" He asked, disappointed.

"MAYBE BECAUSE I FUCKED GOT RAPED AND NEARLY KILLED TWICE!" I screamed in his face. I was really mad and the fact that he treated my situation like it was a normal thing infuriated me beyond recognition.

Dad looked the most shocked by my outburst as he was left opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water unable to master a single word. I didn't like the fact that he pretended like nothing ever happened, I tried doing that and it blew up in my face. I'd rather know my father was trying to make every day a bit normal and safer than the last, rather than having him pretend as if nothing happened and having outbursts about my issues.

"What? Now you're speechless God you're unbelievable." I scoffed, shaking my head in shame at him before I grabbed Malcolm's hand and dragged him into my room, locking it behind us. I paced back and forth in front of my bed where Malcolm sat watching me pace.

"The nerve of that man I swear." I angrily groaned, clenching my fists as I continued my pace. Call me a spoiled brat but no one could blame me for my anger towards the world after everything that happened to me.

I was still healing and the way people walked eggshells around me irritated me beyond a shadow of a doubt. If I wanted to be treated like a fragile glass I would tell you.

"Don't you think you're a bit unfair to your dad?" Malcolm asked me with a raised brow.

"Unfair? I think I'm being very lenient on him." I said stopping my pace to cross my arms over my chest staring at Malcolm who was amused by my pacing.

"Belle think about it, he's just like any other worried parent who doesn't exactly know how to deal with his child," Malcolm said.

"Excuse you I am not a troubled teen I just have a problem with his consistency to be a jerk," I grumbled like a child.

"See, I didn't say that I'm saying you're being a bit too hard on him and that's not fair. I know you love your dad so why not start showing it because in ten years you'll regret never resolving your issues earlier because the older you get the more you hate, take it from me," he sadly said as if talking from experience. I sighed walking to sit beside him as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I was being insensitive," I gently said, holding onto his hand.

"No you have every right to but I think you should try and fix things with your dad before it's too late." He suggested resting his head on top of mine.

"I'll try," I whispered, closing my eyes," Can I ask you a question?" I nervously asked.

"Anything," he answered immediately.

"Why are you so kind and protective over me?" I asked. I hadn't been able to ask him that question before but I've been dying to ask him that because it didn't make sense as to why he was instantly attached to me as much as I was to him. I knew my reasons were because I trusted easily and I just enjoyed a good person's company but I didn't know his reasons for getting attached to me so much in such a short amount of time. He tightened his hold on our laced hands before he sighed.

"I never told you this but I had a little sister," he began with a heavy heart," She was the bubbliest person you'll ever meet, she was such a radiating ray of sunshine that wherever she went people naturally gravitated towards her." He smiled fondly remembering his sister.

"In a sense, she was my ray of sunshine and the same reason why I got up every morning. She was just like you in every sense of the word especially personality-wise but she was adopted yet it never felt like that. I loved Tracy with all my heart, she was the only person I considered family," he sighed.

"What happened to her?" I asked quietly.

"I got her killed, that's what happened," he answered through gritted teeth as I felt a teardrop fall on my face.

"How?" I asked gently hoping he would let me carry his burdens as he had carried mine.

"Uhm some guys I've been in a fight with for some months decided to take out their anger on my place by trashing it but they didn't know Tracy was there and one thing led to another and a gun went off. I was only a few blocks away but I heard it and rushed to my place like a mad man but I was too late." He said with a sniff, sitting up properly to wipe his tears away with his hand as he gritted his teeth. I wasn't sure what to say because I wasn't the best at consulting people but I hugged him tightly hoping he would know I'm there for him as he was there for me.

"What did she like doing?" I asked hoping by talking about her he would start healing slowly.

"She loved gardening," he laughed through tears.

"Really what else?" I asked, staring at his face intently. He let out a heavy breath before he began talking about his sister and everything she loved to do and what irritated her and why I reminded him of her. I was shocked to see a picture of her. If I didn't know any better I'd think she was my long lost sibling by the way we looked alike. No wonder Malcolm was so attached to me. I resembled his sister so much and I guess maybe he thought I was his second chance at a sister.

"I'm sure we would've gotten along tremendously," I smiled, staring at the picture of his sister when she turned fifteen.

"She would've loved you." He smiled hugging me back resting his chin on my head as I rubbed his back lovingly.

I suppose in this messed up world, all broken people look for is to be loved.