Chapter 14: Chapter 14

To my absolute surprise, the sexually frustrated pair kept their hands to themselves. Anji showed us around her house which was more breathtaking on the inside than out, the rooms were elegantly designed for royalty. I had never seen or ever been in such a beautifully designed house in my entire house so you couldn't blame me when I took Malcolm's phone to take endless pictures of everything that got my attention.

"Slow down would you, I don't need to be running out of space because of pictures of worthless things," Malcolm said.

"Excuse you, Hercules, these things are priceless artefacts." Anji defensively said, crossing her arms over her chest. Malcolm simply smirked and winked at her and she was once more a puddle of goo at his beck and call. I sighed, rolling my eyes in annoyance before I sat down on the expensive couch that cost more than my life. I turned the tv on to pass the time since those two love birds wanted to do something else together in the bedroom without being disturbed. Bunch of uncontrollable horny teenagers who couldn't control their libido for more than a few seconds.

I still envied them more than anything but I couldn't let them know how pathetic I was so once again I just shoved all my raging emotions down which felt like I was trying to close an overpacked suitcase and putting my whole weight on it to close it but it was barely keeping it closed. I had too many pent up emotions that I had no idea what to do with but I had to figure something out before I exploded on someone as I did on Eve. With a heavy sigh, I laid my head against the couch staring at the intricately designed white ceiling hoping it would hold all the answers to my questions.

"What's your problem?" I had a fright as Anji sat next to me on the couch with a scowl on her face as her usual resting bitch face.

"Nothing," I said through gritted teeth, still trying to calm my racing heartbeat.

"Leave her alone she's got a lot on her plate," Malcolm said sitting on the other side of me as I was sandwiched in between them.

"And what might that be?" Anji asked with curiosity wondering what was bothering me so she could find other ways to annoy me.

"Nothing that concerns you," I said with a glance at her before I rested my head on Malcolm's shoulder while stuffing a yawn as I felt exhaustion take over me. Malcolm put on a random movie on the massive smart tv to pass the time, Anji's butler provided us with blankets and snacks to make the room feel even cosier. Malcolm and I shared a blanket while Anji had her own while she glared daggers at me for stealing her man but I didn't get why she was so mad when she knew I was gay. I snuggled against Malcolm curled up in a ball with my knees on his legs and my head on his shoulder with his arm around my back resting on my leg. I was trying to pay attention to the movie but I gave up after a few minutes letting darkness completely consume me.

Once again I was fortunate to not have any nightmares instead I had a peaceful dream.

***

I sat at a beach I haven't been to before, on the sand, with the SKU as clears the sea before me with a light warm breeze. If I didn't know any better I would assume I was at a Miami beach with how breathtaking the whole scene was. I took a deep breath feeling absolute tranquillity for the first time in months.

"Beautiful right?" A broken voice spoke next to me, I turned my attention to the stranger but I was surprised to see no recognition of who the person is. They were nothing more than a black silhouette of a person with the only colour on their body being their white eyes, they had no mouth either, just resembling a young woman the same height as me. She sat in a similar position as myself with her knees to her chest and arms wrapped around her legs.

"Ya," I said not letting the mysterious woman ruin my moment. The only sound in the air was the sound of a seagull and the light ruffling of leaves before the woman spoke again.

"You're hurting," she said, her broken voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard.

"Tell me something I don't know," I sighed, not sure how she knew that or why she sounded so familiar.

"Sometimes it's better to let go than hold on tightly and hurt yourself in the process," she slowly said, not taking her eyes off the clear glistering water. I didn't know why she gave me that advice but it was good as ice nevertheless but if she knew me then she knew that if I couldn't follow my advice how and why would I listen to someone else dive. So I merely nodded and let the scenery calm my mind.

"It's going to be ok," the mysterious woman gently said, turning her head to face me. Her voice became crystal clear before her face was finally revealed in a blinding light surrounding her. One moment she was a shadow and the next she was the replica of my dead mother.

"Mom?" I choked on my sobs greedily taking in her every feature. I had forgotten how truly gradient she was, it was no wonder that it seemed she was glowing. To forget how my mother sounded was like a hot dagger to the heart. It has only been four years since she died yet I was already forgetting her existence little by little mainly because she was barely in my life as she often worked day and night at the hospital. She was my mother but we were as close as I was to Eve, sure we were family but that was about it, with her working most of the time we never spent a lot of time together it was always 'next time' but next time never came after all once a workaholic always a workaholic.

It was quite odd to see my mother in my dream, she felt too real as though when I woke up I would find her rushing around the house to not be late for work but then again that was just wishful thinking.

"I'm so sorry," I sincerely apologised to her, none stop tears cascaded down my cheeks

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she tenderly said with such a blinding smile that nearly blinded me. But I had everything to be sorry for, I was sorry for forgetting her, I was sorry for getting Kyle killed and I was sorry for being such a failure of a daughter that I was. I guess what dad said a few weeks ago was right, I was nothing but a failure.

"All will be alright," she said, her voice trailing as she dissolved into the wind turning into pink glowing flowers that smelled like my mom's old perfume that my dad keeps locked in a safe along with my mom's other things that reminded us of her. I forced a smile through my tear-stained face, I didn't get another second to savour the moment as my world shook disorienting me before everything dissolved away and I woke up to being shaken on the shoulders by Malcolm.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked me once I opened my groggy, tired eyes.

"Huh?" I asked still feeling disoriented.

"You were crying in your sleep," he gently said wiping the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and only then did I notice how wet my face was.

"Oh," I said under my breath, still feeling drained from the dream I just had. Its effects were still lingering on me that I was still shaking from it.

"Take it easy," he gently said, grabbing my shaking hands and squeezing them in his large ones. He held my gaze protective helping me calm down, I took deep breaths with my eyes closed before I opened them after feeling much better and calmer.

"Nightmare?" He asked me.

"No," I mumbled under my breath before I wrapped my arms around his neck for a tight hug seeking the comfort he provided me once, he hugged me back tightly as if I'd crumble if he let me go.

"You know I'm here for you if you wanna talk right?" He whispered meaning every word.

"Later," I mumbled on his shoulder taking a moment to savour the warmth and comfort he provided me. He felt like I was hugging a pillow so soft, relaxing and warm or that relaxing feeling you get when you come home from a long stressful day and you end up being so tired that you just flop on your bed and savour how soft and comforting your beddings are and end up falling asleep instantly that's how Malcolm made me feel every time we hugged, he was like my personal human heater and comforter.

"Ok break it up before I barf all over you," Anji gagged, coming into the room with the clicks of her heels resonating around the room. As always she wore stunning attire from a Chanel belt to a Gucci bag, all her clothes were branded with expensive brands that probably cost more than my life. She wore light blue high waisted jeans, a beige tank top with her silky shining hair up in a neat ponytail with light makeup and a leather jacket. She looked breathtaking as always and she knew it by the satisfied smirk on her face. I never knew she had a belly ring so when I saw it I had the urge to lick it sexually and the way she was looking at me made me feel like she could read my mind.

"Hot damn girl, you clean up nicely," Malcolm cat whistled, eyeing Anji up and down like she was a hot piece of steak, which I didn't particularly like him doing.

"Tell me something I don't know," she smirked fluttering her eyelashes," Now quit wasting time and get ready times awaiting," she said.

"What time is it?" I asked in shock getting up to stretch, I didn't notice my shirt ride up or the fact that Anji and Malcolm were watching my every move.

"P.B.," Malcolm said with a hard expression getting up to tower over me like the giant he was.

"Ya?" I asked confused as to what brought this sudden change of emotions. He didn't answer me but lifted my shirt up without my permission making Anji gasp covering her hand over her mouth with wide eyes.

"Hey! Hands to yourself." I angrily said my blood boiling as I quickly pulled down my shirt. Malcolm still didn't light up, his jaw was still locked tight.

"What the hell happened to you?" Anji asked in shock her voice coated in concern as she showed me pity and shame for the first time in her life.

"None of your business," I said through gritted teeth, making a beeline towards the bathroom to freshen up but I never even got the chance to finish washing my face when someone tried to open the door only to find it locked.

"P.B let me in, I just want to talk." Malcolm banged on the door.

I sighed debating whether I should open the door or not, I was still mad at him for the stunt he pulled. My scars were the last thing I wanted the world to know especially Anji, now she was going to treat me differently perhaps even pity me which is the worst thing she could ever do to me.

"Go fuck a cactus," I yelled over his banging on the door.

"I will once you open this door," he yelled outside the door, I rolled my eyes at him before heading to the door to unlock it. I gave him an icy cold stare that he cringed at before I went back to the sink, hearing Malcolm lock the door behind me.

"Belle," he gently said my name as he stood next to me so we stood looking at each other through the mirror. He looked ashamed for what he did but not apologetic and that's what made me mad. He lazily placed his hand on top of my head before he spoke,

"You know all of this could've been avoided if you just told me the whole truth from that night, so why didn't you?" He asked as if hurt that I kept this from him.

"Because I just met you," I said through gritted teeth.

"I just met you yet I told you everything there is to know about me," he said with a disappointed look like I might as well have stabbed him in the back. I might've just met the guy but it didn't feel like that though, I felt like I've known him my entire life like I could tell him everything and rely on him no matter what and I had the feeling he felt the same way, I guess this is what people call friendship at first sight. With a sigh, I turned to face him trying to think of a way to tell him the whole truth without breaking down.

"Come on." I urged him walking to the edge of the bathtub to sit on the floor with my back pressed against the tub and my knees pressed against my chest. Malcolm came to join me and silane enveloped us once more before I git the courage to speak my truth, my whole truth. I told him what truly happened that night all of it, I told him how I felt, the humility I felt as those men did whatever they wanted to me, I told him how I wished death upon myself even currently, I told him my fear of men and how I felt every time one touched me and the incident with my maths teacher.

"Do I scare you?" He asked with concern.

"No." I slowly said starting down at the tiled floor, waiting for my pounding heart to slow down.

"Are you sure?" He asked gently.

"Yes," I mumbled staring at my reflection on the shiny tiled floor. I heard Malcolm sigh before he took my hand in his squeezing it reassuringly, before tenderly looking at me in the eyes.

"There is no reason for you to fear me, ever, you know that right?" He asked with a determined look.

"I know," I said squeezing his hand with a grateful look for being there for me and letting me cry on his shoulders.

"You know what I'm thinking?" He asked with a mischief smile.

"What?" I asked laying my head on his shoulders, he laid his head on top of mine.

"I've always wanted a gay best friend," he randomly said making me laugh at the sudden declaration

"Wow ok," I chuckled wondering what led this conversation on.

"No I'm serious I've always wanted a gay best friend," he beamed lighting the whole room up with his smile.

"Ok and is that supposed to be me?" I asked with a raised brow.

"I think the universe sent us to each other," he said on a more serious note, yet I couldn't agree more with what he said.

"It does kind of feel like that," I said absent-mindedly drawing circles on his hand with my free hand