Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Ru was halfway up the stairs when she heard Cutter’s footsteps behind her. She slowed down, and he caught up. “You okay?” he asked as they proceeded to the hallway in unison.

“I’m fine,” Ru replied, hoping her smile was counterfeit enough to fool him.

“You don’t have to go through with this tonight if you don’t want to. We can wait until you’re ready. I can even tell Ivy to hold off on the travel arrangements if you want.”

She turned to face him and saw nothing but sincerity in his expression. His hands were shoved down deep in his jeans pockets, his handsome face crinkled with concern. “No, it’s not that,” Ru assured him, though she wasn’t completely sure that was true. “It’s just… I can’t go to Wyoming without talking to my mom—to Liddy.”

Cutter looked surprised. “You’re an adult, Ru. You don’t need her permission.”

An uncomfortable laugh escaped her lips. “No, I know.” Even as she said the words, she wondered if that was completely true, though. Hadn’t the idea that Liddy would be mad at her for going off without her permission entered her mind more than once? “I have to talk to her, though. I need to tell her that I’m looking for Sera. I need to tell her… a lot of things.” The overwhelming feelings she’d been bottling up inside for so long threatened to surface, and she did her best to beat them back down inside. There was no reason for her to go into detail, or well up with emotion, right now.

Clearly, Cutter understood what she was getting at. “Do you want me to go with you?” he asked, his voice nothing but sincere. “I’m happy to, if you think it would make it any easier.”

She couldn’t help but smile at him. He could be so thoughtful, so sweet. It was hard for her to imagine ever being so angry at him that she never wanted to see him again, but it hadn’t been that long ago that she’d wished for exactly that. Of course, at the time, she thought he was out of his mind. “Thank you for offering,” she said, meeting his eyes. “But I think I better do this by myself.”

Cutter nodded, once again seeming to understand. “Okay, but if you change your mind, let me know.”

“Thanks. I’ll go call her and see if I can come over tomorrow after church.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“What time are we thinking of going out tonight?” Even the thought of having to leave her body again made her stomach tighten up, not because she hadn’t enjoyed the exploration they’d done the night before, but because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to do it again, and she might hold up the rest of the team.

“Probably around nine,” Cutter replied. “That’ll give us a chance to be thorough at a time when any Reapers who might be in the area are probably still in the planning stages.”

She thought that made sense, though just about every comment that came out of any of their mouths lately raised a thousand questions. “Okay. I think I’ll go see if I can do a little research of my own.”

“See you in a little while,” Cutter said, touching her lightly on the shoulder. There was a transfer of electricity, the same kind that used to send Ru’s head spinning before she realized it was because they were both Keepers of the Light and nothing more. Cutter was only a friend, and that was all he’d ever be. She’d come to accept that from the very beginning.

Ru headed to her room and closed the door; the only one she’d be willing to open it for was Piper. Thinking about leaving home made her nervous, and the idea of sitting down with Liddy Brown and having a candid discussion with her made her anxious. But she knew it had to be done. With a heavy heart, she picked up the phone and dialed her adoptive mother’s phone number.

She answered on the third ring. “What?”

“Mom?” Ru asked, wondering if she’d caught her at a bad time or if this was just her standard greeting now.

“No, Ru. An alien has stolen your mother’s phone and is imitating her now. What do you want?”

Leave it to Liddy Brown to make some sort of a sarcastic comment first thing. “I was hoping I could come over and talk to you tomorrow after church. Some things have come up, and I think we need to discuss them in person.”

“I don’t know, Ruin. Tomorrow’s Sunday and you know how your father likes to watch his football games.”

Ru wasn’t quite sure when Greg had become “her father.” It couldn’t be any worse than her actual father, she decided. “It won’t take long.”

“Why can’t you just tell me now. On the phone.”

Ru contemplated an answer to that, and honestly, it would be easier for her to tell her everything right now and hang up so that she never had to see or speak to the woman again, but something in her soul, some sort of sympathetic tie that had longed to be accepted for as long as she could remember, wouldn’t let her do that. “I’ll be there around one in the afternoon, okay?”

“Fine, Ruin. Whatever.”

The call was disconnected. Not a goodbye. Certainly not an, “I love you.” Ru sighed and set her phone down on her nightstand. Her entire life, she’d longed to know what it would be like to have a mother who cared about her. When she was in high school, Liddy never came to anything except for a fundraiser where her debate team had sold spaghetti dinners. Liddy had embarrassed her in front of all of her friends, yelling at her about something so stupid Ru couldn’t even remember what it was. She’d been glad she never came to anything else, even when she was the only person inducted into National Honor Society who didn’t have a parent present. One of her friends had a sweet mom who tried to fill in, as had a few of her teachers, but Ru never understood what it was like to have a parent who was involved.

Maybe Sera would be different. Once they found her and assured her they weren’t trying to harm her, perhaps Ru would finally know what it was like to have a mother who truly cared. Ru had always worried about her own children, should she ever be lucky enough to have any. They would grow up without a grandmother, and even though Ru barely knew her mother’s mother, who lived in Chicago, she didn’t think that was fair. She wanted her own children to have grandparents who would spoil them. Perhaps Sera could fill that role.

First, Ru had to find her, though, and with all of the information she’d been gathering these past few months, she was hopeful she would be able to reach out to her mother’s spirit and locate her, even without help from Sera’s mother—Ru’s actual grandmother—or anyone else. If what Cutter had said about feeling with her mind was really true, Ru needed to master the skill so she could finally find the mother she’d been dreaming about for all of these years. She was so close now, she could feel it. If wishing and hoping could be quantified, surely Ru had enough longing in her soul to fill whatever this task required.

“Where are you Seraphina?” she whispered, closing her eyes. Unfortunately, the only answer was the November breeze blowing leaves against her bedroom window. If Sera could hear her, she was choosing to stay in hiding for now.