Chapter 44: Chapter 44

Ru had seen Cutter shocked before, but nothing like this. She thought if his eyebrows raised any higher, they would end up on the back of his head. “How is that possible?”

“Whoever thought Larkin had told her was mistaken.”

“No, but… she…. We knew that…. Everyone said….”

“I know what we thought, Cutter, but she really doesn’t know. She said she’d do some searching, but for now, my mom is not the key to the portals.”

“Shit….” The word was whispered so quietly, she almost didn’t make it out.

“The good news is, there’s no reason to tell Sky that we even found her.”

“I guess so.” Clearly, that was not consolation enough. “I just can’t believe it. Damn. I really thought she’d know.”

“I’m sure she didn’t. I think she would’ve told me if she knew and just didn’t want to tell me.” She left out the fact that Nat had already warned her that her mom didn’t know anything about the portals. There was no reason for Cutter to think his opinion mattered to her, though in this case, it did. “But, she did say she thinks I can find the one at Reaper’s Hollow.”

He perked up a little bit at the mention of a possibility of success. “She did?”

“Yes. I’m not sure why, but she seems to think I can do it. So… I’d like to head back there and see if we can try. The sooner the better.”

“Okay,” he agreed with a nod. “Why don’t we head straight there from NYC? There’s no sense in traveling all the way back to Wyoming when we are already scheduled to land at La Guardia.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ru agreed. She was missing Piper a lot, but the sooner she found the portals, the more quickly she could get home to her kitty permanently.

“I’ll make the changes as soon as I get back to my room.”

“All right. Flight leaves at 10:00 in the morning?” She thought she’d heard something about that when she’d been dozing off in the back of the van.

“Yes. And Lyric is already working on the new pictures.”

“Does she expect anything? I mean, there’s a good chance that they are just like everyone else’s scars and they just resemble something.”

“We know,” he nodded, “but she was excited that each side looks slightly different from the other. She thinks that might mean that there really is a message there.”

“A message from God, like my nana said?” Ru couldn’t help but scoff at the question. It seemed so surreal that there was a possibility the answer to such a question might actually be yes.

“If it is, it would be the first message from Him for thousands of years, but who knows? It doesn’t matter who it’s from, though, if it gets us a little bit closer to finding the portals.”

Once again, Ru nodded, and this time she had to stifle a yawn. Despite her very long nap, she was still exhausted. She hadn’t adjusted to the difference in time zones, and meeting her mother had taken an emotional toll on her which left her feeling groggy.

Seeing her weariness, Cutter pushed himself to the edge of his chair. “I’ll let you get some rest,” he said.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… it’s been a long day.”

“No, I know.”

He gave her a reassuring smile, and Ru managed to return it. He really was such a kind, considerate, caring individual. If it hadn’t been for him, she likely would’ve never had the courage to strike out on the journey to meet her mother. The fears of rejection had long burned in her mind. Thankfully, now she wouldn’t have to worry about that again. And all of that came back to the fact that Cutter was persistent and wouldn’t allow her to tell him no. He had been the one to find her in the first place, and if he’d never done so, she wouldn’t be on this path toward finding herself.

Pulling his tall body up at out of the chair, he took a step toward the exit, and Ru followed. “I’m glad we found her, Ru,” he said, coming to a halt in front of the door. “Even if she didn’t have all of our answers, at least you got a chance to meet her.”

“Thank you for all of your help.” Her eyes felt heavy, and she ran her hand across her face in a failed attempt to become more cognizant. The bed across the room was shouting her name.

Cutter pulled the hotel room door open with a squeak. It was heavy, so he used his foot to prop it open as he turned back to address her one last time. “I hope you have a restful night’s sleep, Ru. Don’t worry about your mom. We’ll keep the Reapers busy.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “Won’t you guys be exhausted if you’re up all night chasing them?”

He shrugged and flashed her an impish smile. “We’ll sleep on the plane.”

Tentatively, Ru reached out and lightly felt the fabric of his sleeve. She had no reason to do so, but she longed for the comfort of his familiar touch. Even though she’d already said how much she appreciated him, more than once, she couldn’t help but remind him again what his assistance meant to her. “Thank you, Cutter.” She slid her hand down his arm so that she was grasping his fingers, and he wrapped her hand into his. It seemed to fit perfectly. “If you hadn’t shown me, I’d still have no idea who I really am.”

“You’re welcome, Ru.” There was no shrugging it off, no humble smile, no feigning responsibility for all he’d orchestrated to bring her to this point, just an acknowledgement that he had done everything he could to help her, willingly.

Cutter’s lips were only an inch or so away from her now. His familiar scent of sandalwood and serenity, lingered in the air between them. Ru looked into his eyes and felt nothing but comfort, peace, safety. She inhaled deeply, breathing him in, closing the distance between them, certain that he could read in her eyes how much, at that moment, she wanted him to kiss her. As her eyes became heavy again, Ru let them fall closed, waiting patiently for his lips to brush against hers.

“I should be going.”

Her eyes flew open, wider than they had been since he’d entered the room. While there was no animosity in the orbs that looked back at her, there was certainly caution, skepticism, perhaps, and Ru realized those emotions were there by her own doing. She slowly nodded, and he released her hand, disappearing into the hallway as the heavy door swung itself to.

Ru waited for a few moments, still slightly stunned that he hadn’t recognized her invitation, or had decided not to accept it. Either way, she wondered what it might be like the next time she saw him. Would this make everything awkward between them again, or would she be able to deny she’d been anything more than exhausted?

Eventually, she was able to move her feet again, and she approached the bed, flopping backward onto it, not knowing what to think of anything. Sleep was of the utmost priority right now. In the morning, perhaps, she’d be able to sort out what to do next—about the portals, her mom, and perhaps most importantly, about Cutter. For now, the only chance she’d have of kissing him would be in her dreams, and those were not to be trusted.