Chapter 32: Chapter 32

She was standing in the white space, the in-between. It wasn’t where she’d expected to be, but she didn’t have time to contemplate what was happening. Instead, she felt for Thanatos and picked the direction she thought he’d traveled away in. She cut through into another realm and found herself on a busy city street. Ru took off running.

A throng of pedestrians blocked her path. There must’ve been a thousand people walking toward her. It was like New York City, Times Square, during New Year’s Eve. Assuming none of these people were real, she didn’t bother to dodge any of them, though her shoulder eventually got sore from running into so many of them. A few blocks into her sprint, she saw him, off in the distance. It was almost as if he had slowed for her to reach him. He was glancing over his shoulder, waiting for her to catch up, and then, once he saw her, he turned down an alley.

Her energy renewed, Ru shoved an elderly couple out of her way, ignoring their screams as she took off again, though, in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but feel bad for hurting them, even if they weren’t real. She wondered whose dream this was and hoped, whoever the sleeper was, that he or she was not agoraphobic.

The alley smelled real enough. The stale odor of old garbage, rotting food, and wet cardboard filled her lungs as she turned down the darkened alley. At the end, the narrow passage dead-ended into another brick building. She was sure that Thanatos had gone this way, which meant there had to be an opening to another realm at the far end. She didn’t slow down as she sprinted in that direction, praying she’d hit the opening before she careened into the brick wall.

Only an inch or two from slamming her face into what would likely feel like a very real building exterior, she found herself in new surroundings, thankful that her instincts had been right and she wasn’t swallowing any of her teeth. Even though it wasn’t real, she was pretty sure it still would’ve hurt if she’d literally come face-to-face with the wall at the end of the alley.

The sounds of Muzak filled her ears, and she realized she was listening to a very jazzy version of “Beat It,” complete with chimes and keyboard trills. She shook her head and came to a stop, looking around to see where she was and to try to establish whether or not Thanatos was still nearby.

Staring at rows of cereal boxes, Ru got an eerily familiar sensation and goosebumps climbed up her arms. It hadn’t taken long for her to establish she was in a grocery store, but this wasn’t any ordinary supermarket. It was the one she frequented on a weekly basis. Apparently, Thanatos was no longer afraid of being caught by her backup Keepers. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms and slowly headed toward the frozen foods section.

He was leaning against the ice cream freezers, looking nonchalant, his head no longer bleeding. Though he was dressed in the same brown jacket and slacks Kyle had been wearing when she’d met him here a few weeks ago, he still looked like Thanatos. Strangely enough, Ru was beginning to have trouble telling them apart. Even though he had manipulated his face so that she wouldn’t recognize him when he’d fooled her into thinking he was a graphic designer from NYC, he had been Thanatos all along, and as she slowly made her way toward him, she felt like she was approaching Kyle.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, skeptical that anything he said would be the truth but still finding his choice odd.

“Oh, I just thought Raven might like some Ben and Jerry’s.” He wasn’t even perusing the ice cream, so she knew that couldn’t be true. “What’s the matter, Ru? Pains in your stomach keeping you from enjoying frozen delights?”

Her eyes narrowed at him, scrutinizing. “How do you know about that?”

Thanatos shrugged. “I told you. We are more alike than we are different.”

“In light of recent events, I’d have to beg to differ. I would never even consider harming Ira or any other child. The fact that you tried to trick a little boy with special needs is despicable.”

His reaction was not what she’d expected. “Oh, Ru. You know I wasn’t going to harm him. I was just trying to get you to tell me where your mother is.” He scoffed and looked away, as if her assertion was ridiculous.

“Do you expect me to believe that?” She took another step forward, though there were still several feet between them. As much as she didn’t trust him, she still found herself drawn in, as if he were magnetic and she was made of iron.

“Of course I do,” he replied, staring her down with intense green eyes. “You know me well enough to know how I feel about children.”

She remembered watching him cry, when he thought he was alone in the garden, over the deaths of the two boys who’d perished in a car wreck when a soul his team had attempted to take drove the wrong way on purpose, slaughtering a family. He’d seemed sincere then. Perhaps he really wasn’t planning to hurt Ira. But then, she imagined if Cutter were here, he’d remind her that Thanatos was a liar. Even her grandmother, who wasn’t a Keeper, had told her not to trust him. “Listen, Thanatos, I cannot tell you what I know about my mother. You need to let me find her, and then maybe my story will be more complete, enough so that I can consider what you’ve told me.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, and Ru wondered if she’d said too much. Had she given him hope that Sera might yet convince her that she should follow her Reaper side? She hadn’t meant to, but then, if that’s what it took to get him to leave her be—and her former students—then that’s what she’d say. “Why do you call me that?” he asked, standing up so that he was no longer supported by the ice cream case. He was taller than her, even taller than Cutter, and when he stood up straight, she had to tip her head up so that she could look him in the eye. The unsettling sensation that he could see into her soul made her look away. “No one else except for my father calls me that.”

It was a valid question, and she had never stopped to consider why she insisted on his full name when everyone else called him Nat. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess because, when I first stumbled upon your name online, the website didn’t know you well enough to refer to you by your nickname. I never dreamt we’d actually meet in person.”

He snickered. “I never dreamt I’d meet someone like you, Ru.”

Her eyebrows arched and her arms stayed crossed. “Are you attempting to be charming now? Is that what you’re doing? Thinking I’ll get confused and believe you’re Kyle again?”

The snicker had left him grinning, and with each word, his smile grew. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He took a step toward her, and even though her stomach was telling her to retreat, Ru’s boots held firm. “I think, deep down inside, you always knew it was me.”

“No, I didn’t.” Her response was quick and adamant, but a vein of doubt niggled its way into her mind. Could he be right? Did she know he was Thanatos all the time? Shaking her head, Ru looked away. “I’ll give you one thing. Your nickname is accurate. Just like a little bug who flies into a person’s face and annoys the hell out of them, you just don’t go away.”

He laughed again but took a step backward, out of her personal space, which made her happy she’d expressed herself so well. “I’m sorry, Ru. I guess, with you, I just can’t help it. You’re the flame, and I’m the moth.” He dropped his gaze to her hands, which were nearly hidden beneath her folded arms, and she understood he was referring to the fire she’d shot at him twice now. “I’ll never stop pursuing you, Ru. Not only do I need your power on my team, I need you in my life.”

Once again, she found herself staring at him. His words seemed so sincere, to the point where she’d feel compelled to thank him for such a compliment if he weren’t death incarnate. “Please, Nat, just let me figure this all out, okay? Obviously, I’m not trying to track you down to send you to Hell. Not right now anyway. If you can just let me find my mother….”

“You may not be, but I haven’t forgotten you sent for backup, Ru.”

She looked around. “Clearly, no one is coming.” She didn’t think mentioning to him that she wasn’t even sure how that power worked would be appropriate, in case she ever needed to do it again.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Even though his words should’ve been ominous, he didn’t stir. Suddenly, Ru realized they were not alone. She had no idea who it was, but someone had just shown up in the grocery store a few aisles over. Despite herself, she felt a bit of concern for Nat. She looked around, waiting for danger to strike.

“I have to go.” His voice was every bit as calm as ever. “I’ll see you soon.” He took a few steps backward, headed toward the end of the aisle.

“Leave my kids alone!” Ru projected her voice as if she were a roaring lion, since that was how emphatically she meant the message.

Nat smiled at her and used his finger to trace a cross over his heart, still backing down the aisle. Ru wasn’t sure how much stock to put into that. Did he even have a heart to cross? Instinctively, she took a step toward him, compelled to shout her warning to him again, but then, a commotion behind her had her head spinning. She saw Rider flying down the aisle, his hands up, as if he would shoot Nat with his own Power of the Light if Ru weren’t inadvertently in the way. When she turned her head back, Nat was gone. All that lingered was a puff of dissipating smoke.

“Ru! What the hell?” Rider yelled, pulling to a stop next to her. “Why aren’t you pursuing him? Why didn’t you stop him?”

“Stop him how?” she shouted back, not sure why he was angry at her. “I don’t even know the incantation.”

“Goddammit!” Rider shouted, looking at her sharply before taking off again, leaping into another realm a few feet in front of her. Even though he was gone, she could distinctly hear his voice inside of her head. “Ru! Don’t you know what you’re dealing with here? Son of a bitch! You could’ve done something!”

Rather than attempt to try to argue with someone she could no longer see, Ru continued to stand in the ice cream section, shocked, for a few more minutes, contemplating exactly what it was Rider wanted from her. If he thought she should’ve been capable of stopping Thanatos, perhaps he should’ve taken the time to teach her how to stop him, or at least the incantation she’d need to say in order to send him to Hell or destroy him. The longer Ru stood there, the more upset she became. Eventually, she decided just to go home, not sure if following Rider would help him or slow him down. Besides, if she went along, he’d expect her to help, and not only did she have no idea how, at the moment, she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

The pain in Ru’s stomach had returned, and it was so intense, she could hardly pay attention to anything else. Closing her eyes and grasping herself around the middle in a failed attempt to dull the stabbing sensation, she felt for her body, certain that would be the easiest way to awake, even though she had no recollection of ever leaving her solid state.