Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Ru went over her remarks in her head, unsure what she’d said to get that sort of reaction out of him. Did Cutter not want to be her friend for some reason? That didn’t make any sense. He’d been nothing but helpful since the first time they’d met, back at Thomas Elementary, when he’d fixed the copy machine after she’d unwittingly used her powers to fry the electrical components. Confused, Ru swiveled in her chair and propped her elbows up on the table. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what she’d said wrong.

Footsteps entering the room caused her to look up. It was Ivy. “Oh, I thought you’d left,” Ru said, forcing a smile.

“I forgot my coat,” the blonde explained, gesturing at the back of the chair she’d been sitting in. “I didn’t get very far in this weather without it.” She let out a small giggle and slipped her arms in the sleeves. “Hey, is everything all right?” she asked, a concerned expression on her face.

Ru had hoped she was hiding her bewilderment at her conversation with Cutter, but clearly, she wasn’t doing a very good job. “Oh, yeah. Fine,” she muttered, trying to infuse some joy into her tone, but it sounded fake, even to her.

“You sure about that?” Ivy asked, leaning one hand on the table. “You don’t look fine.”

“I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed with all of this.” Ru intended to play everything off, like she was only worried about the upcoming trip, but Ivy studied her face closely, and it was as if the half-angel could tell she wasn’t being completely honest. With a sigh, Ru said, “Okay. Fine. Something weird just happened, and I don’t know what to make of it.” She hoped her voice was quiet enough that Cutter and his family couldn’t hear her over the television, the laugh-track of which she could make out even in here.

Ivy stared at her for a moment and then dropped into the chair at the head of the table next to Ru, the one Lyric had been sitting in. “What happened?” she asked. “And does it have anything to do with the scowl Cutter had on his face when he opened the front door?” She gestured with her head, indicating she meant a moment ago when she’d come back for her coat.

Ru chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. So, she definitely hadn’t imagined his reaction if Ivy had picked up on it, too. “Maybe,” she said with a half-hearted shrug. She looked into the pristine blue eyes of the girl she’d only known for a few months and thought she could trust her fully. “I just said I was glad to have him as a friend, that’s all,” she said, emphatically, her voice still low. “He got all bent out of shape.”

“Oooh,” Ivy said, dragging her response out and leaning back in the chair like the reason for Cutter’s reaction was obvious. A small smile played at the corners of her pastel pink lips.

“What does that mean? Oooh?” Ru asked, her voice getting a little loud. Ivy gestured with her finger to her lips, and she immediately dropped the volume. “What does that mean?” she repeated.

Ivy glanced over her shoulder, as if she was checking that Cutter wasn’t nearby. She turned back to face her friend and let out a sigh. Ru raised both eyebrows. She was obviously missing something. “Ru,” she said, reaching over and gently placing her lithe hand on top of Ru’s, “Cutter likes you.”

Her eyebrows knit together as she stared at the thin fingers splayed on top of hers. “Uh, I know,” she said, finally looking up into Ivy’s face. “And I was thanking him for that. For his kindness.”

She shook her head, looking down at the table as if she couldn’t believe Ru was being so thick-skulled, but Ru still didn’t know what she was getting at. “No, Ru. He likes you. A lot.”

Ru felt her mouth drop open but only let it hang slack for a moment before she clamped it shut. “No,” she said, pulling her hand back and waving it at Ivy. “No, he doesn’t.” It was hard for her to believe Ivy was even insinuating that Cutter had feelings for her beyond friendship. The idea that someone as good looking, intelligent, sexy—okay, so maybe she had considered the possibility of dating him before—but the thought that he could ever actually have feelings for her past camaraderie was something that she had not allowed herself even to entertain. Besides, they were working together now, and she knew going out with a coworker was a bad idea even if the vast majority of her own colleagues over the years had been other straight women.

Ivy just stared at her for a moment, her eyes unwavering. She shrugged but she said nothing at all. Her expression was enough to reveal she truly believed that Cutter had feelings for her of the romantic variety.

“That… that’s not… I mean… he couldn’t….” Ru was aware she was mumbling incoherently before Ivy even began to giggle. She looked up, snapping her mouth closed again, deciding it was better to say nothing at all than the random thoughts streaming through her head, which was for the best since they clearly didn’t plan on forming coherent sentences any time soon.

“Look, sweetie,” Ivy said, her hands now folded on the table in front of her, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Lord knows you have enough going on right now without complicating things further. But if Cutter got upset that you said you were glad he was a good friend, that’s ‘cause he wishes he were more. We all know that. Surprised you didn’t. But it’s not my business.”

Ru opened her mouth to say more, but before she could, they heard footsteps approaching. Ru looked up to see Cutter standing in the doorway between the dining room and the living room. He didn’t look as if he had overheard anything, though he had a curious expression on his face. “You find your coat?”

“I did,” Ivy replied, standing and holding up the bottom of it for him to see, as if it wasn’t obvious she had it on. “We were just talking about how long that flight is gonna be.”

Ru nodded, thankful that Ivy was a quick thinker. “I’m not used to being on planes for that long.” She also realized she didn’t even have a passport but figured they’d have a way around that.

Cutter’s head bobbed up and down, and Ru decided he had bought their explanation for Ivy’s lingering.

“I’m going to do some prodding tonight,” she said, stopping in front of him. “See if I can figure out whether or not Nat has any idea what direction we’re headed.”

“Just be sure to keep him out of your head,” Cutter warned. “If he can get to your thoughts, he’ll know really quickly.”

“I know,” Ivy said like a child who was tired of the same reminders. Cutter stepped out of her way so she could get past. “See you tomorrow.” She patted him on the shoulder and waved at Ru who returned the gesture before she left for the second time.

Cutter looked at Ru and offered a small smile before he turned. “Cutter!” she said, causing him to freeze in his tracks, though he didn’t immediately turn back around. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to say but felt the need to say something. Not about Ivy’s revelation but something nevertheless. “What does that mean?”

Slowly, Cutter turned back to face her. “What does what mean?” he asked. His voice seemed a bit softer, as if he wasn’t still upset about her comment, but it didn’t sound quite as sincere as it typically did, as if he had wanted to take off without having to speak to her so soon.

“How can Nat get into our heads?” she asked. She knew he could find his way into their dreams, but she had no idea he might be able to access their thoughts.

Cutter crossed his arms. “Well, it would be pretty difficult for him to get into someone like Ivy, not that she’ll likely even find him tonight, but it’s possible for him to read people’s thoughts if they accidentally let him in.”

“And how might one do that?”

“Uh, it’s hard to explain. It would take a lot of coaxing, basically an invitation. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“Right.” Ru nodded, and Cutter ejected another smile in her direction before he turned back around and walked out of the room, but it wasn’t Ivy’s thoughts Ru was concerned about.

With a long exhale, she rubbed her hands up and down her face and stood, pushing the chair in. It wasn’t even that late and she felt exhausted. The thought that she might be able to see her birth mother soon both excited and overwhelmed her, particularly since Cinder seemed to think Sera really had mutilated her own kid.

She walked through the living room but kept her head down, hoping to make it to the stairs without any conversation. Glancing up briefly, she caught Windy’s eyes and offered a small smile before heading up the stairs. Thoughts of the happy family sitting around the television made her heart warm for a moment before she remembered there was someone missing, and she still knew nothing about him. Yet, it was Leaf’s room she was headed to. Cutter had offered to fill her in, and she hoped he would do so before they left. She also wanted a chance to see her Nana one more time, just in case something went wrong and she never returned to Los Angeles.

Opening the door to her borrowed bedroom, Ru was greeted by meowing. “At least you’re still normal,” she mumbled, bending down to stroke Piper’s back. The idea that Cutter might actually be interested in her seemed so foreign, she couldn’t even entertain it. Ru laid back on the bed—new mattress but still Leaf’s—and closed her eyes. Too many thoughts crowded her brain, and she wished she could just turn the radio up really loud and drown them out, but even that was out of the question. She’d have to settle for headphones, which wasn’t the same. Still, as Black Flag’s “Life of Pain” filled her ears, thoughts that she definitely wasn’t the girl next door the song mentioned wafted through her mind, and Ru drifted off to sleep.