Chapter 13: Chapter 13
Taking a deep breath, Ru squeezed past her mother into the house. “It’s 4:03,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm.
“That’s right, and I specifically told you to be here before 4:00. The fact that you are late is just further proof that you don’t care one bit about your family!”
Ru’s hands were full with the various items her mother had asked her to pick up, and she carried them straight to the kitchen, setting them down on the counter. Her mom was still barking at her, but Ru had learned that not listening was always better than trying to reason with whatever Liddy was going off about. “I’m sorry. I got off at 3:45, remember? I got here as fast as I could.”
“You always have an excuse for everything, don’t you?” Liddy stood in front of her, arms folded, a scowl on her face. She was much shorter than Ru, with reddish-brown, frizzy hair that had a mind of its own, no matter how many products the woman used. She did manage to hide the gray that had been creeping in since she’d turned fifty a few years ago. Still, no amount of hair dye or makeup could hide the ugliness Ru saw every time she looked at her face. It had nothing to do with her features.
“What do you want me to do first?”
“Well, the decorations, of course,” Liddy replied, sharply, and Ru began to dig the streamers and other items she’d purchased out of one of the bags. She was sure she’d somehow managed to mess up “purple and yellow streamers,” but if they were wrong, her mother didn’t notice as she began to direct Ru where to put them. There’d be no avoiding the ladder this time, and Ru desperately wished Candice or Cutter were there to help her out. She was on her own this time, however. She prayed no one would be injured as she began to decorate in the dining room, which adjoined the kitchen.
About half an hour into her attempt to make the house look festive, Greg, her mother’s husband of about six years, walked in. “Oh, it looks nice, Ru,” he said, heading into the kitchen.
“Thanks,” she called, but she didn’t dare look down. She thought she was almost done with this room, which only meant two more. She could hear her mother in the kitchen, talking to Greg in an exasperated voice, blaming Ru that everything was behind schedule. He didn’t volunteer to help. Ru had no idea how they could even stand to be married to each other in the first place. While Greg was polite to her, he wasn’t exactly nice either, and the couple argued all the time about anything and everything.
For Liddy, it was clearly a marriage of convenience. The house Ru had grown up in across town was small and dilapidated, the best Liddy could do on a cashier’s salary as she attempted to raise three daughters. The state subsidized her income after she took Ru in, but it still wasn’t the same as having a husband who could provide for them. Many nights, Ru went to bed hungry, a can of soup and maybe a sandwich not quite filling her up. And the other girls always ate more than she did. But she’d survived, and thanks to her academic strengths, she’d managed to get a scholarship to college. Liddy had already taken on a great deal more debt to put her “real” daughters through school, so when she met Greg, who was a banker, it just seemed to make sense to her to pursue him. He would at least have enough money to provide for her. She’d quit her job at the super center as soon as they’d tied the knot. Now, she bred small dogs in the backyard and sold them at festivals and street fairs, as well as in the paper. Ru found the practice a bit revolting, but she was in no position to tell Liddy Brown what to do. Even though, technically her last name was Meyer now, to Ru, she’d always be Liddy Brown. She’d been referring to her by that name mentally for so long, she couldn’t go back now.
As she was coming back down off of the ladder, her foot slipped. Ru caught herself but her finger dragged along the edge of the ladder, opening up her skin. “Ouch,” she muttered, stepping carefully down onto the floor and looking to see how much damage had been done. A thin line of crimson highlighted the break in her skin. She immediately put her finger in her mouth and thought she should probably go clean it and find a bandage, but her mother’s shrieking voice told her that wasn’t a good idea. She took a piece of streamer and wrapped it around to try to keep the blood off of the rest of the decorations.
Moving the ladder into the living room, Ru tried to tune her mother’s voice out and concentrate on something more pleasant. It didn’t take long for her mind to wander to Cutter. The more she got to know him, the more mysterious he seemed to become. Over the last few days as they’d worked together, she’d asked him a few questions. He still hadn’t told her where he came from, other than working in NYC for the last few years. Even that wasn’t detailed. He’d confirmed he had parents, but when she’d asked about siblings, he’d gotten awfully quiet. She could understand not wanting to talk about his family since she didn’t like to talk about hers either, but she was always forthcoming with answers to basic questions—two sisters, grew up in Tarrytown, that sort of thing. Was Cutter intentionally keeping his past a secret?
One thing was for sure; there were a lot of people at Thomas Elementary who wanted to know more. Several times when they had free time to work in their classrooms during the week, teachers from other grade levels had come by his room to introduce themselves and linger in his classroom much longer than necessary. Ru had wondered if they’d somehow managed to get their own rooms done so quickly that they had time to waste. She wasn’t jealous, of course. There was no reason for that, but she did feel a little sorry for Cutter. It must be difficult to have that sort of attention from the opposite sex all the time, even at work. She resolved herself not to be part of the gawking crowd. They were teammates, after all, and would never be anything more than friends, even if he somehow had an affection for awkward, tall, gangly blondes who were accident prone and likely to catch his house on fire.
“These are crooked!” Liddy’s voice calling from the dining room pulled Ru out of her thoughts. “Why can’t you do anything right, Ruin?”
Before she could even think of protesting, her mother had jumped up and grabbed ahold of one end of the streamers along one wall and pulled them down. Ru felt a fire ignite inside of her but did her best to snuff it. Getting angry at Liddy never did her any good. She was certain the streamers were not crooked. She was a teacher after all—putting up borders, etc. with straight edges was second nature to her.
“Get down off of that ladder and go in the kitchen. Start plating the appetizers. Seriously, Ruin. I don’t know why I ever….”
The end of the sentence faded off as Ru dropped to the floor and her mother stormed out of the adjoining room into the living room to snatch up the ladder, but Ru knew how it went. “I don’t know why I ever took you in in the first place.” She’d been hearing the same thing since she was three years old. More than once, she wished Liddy Brown hadn’t taken her birth mother up on her offer—raise my daughter, and the state will help you with funding. Whatever happened to that mother, she had no way of knowing. There were no records of Ruin Sara Roberts ever being born. Liddy had to apply for a birth certificate after the fact, and there was no way for Ru to know that any of the information on it was true.
Greg was still in the kitchen, though he seemed to be eating the appetizers, not plating them. She forced a small smile in his direction and set in on finishing what her mother had started. They still had a couple of hours before guests would begin to arrive. Even if Liddy had done everything on her own, she would’ve had plenty of time. Still, Ru was ordered to help, and that’s what she did. She grabbed a plastic container of assorted cheeses and meats and began to spread it on a nicer platter.
When she was younger, she’d identified with Cinderella more than anyone else in the universe, except her mother wasn’t a step, and she knew there was no Prince Charming to rescue her. Her sisters, Melissa and Danielle, had been nice enough, though she never had a bond with either of them like they did each other. She told herself it was because they were so much older. Melissa was five years older, and they’d never even been in the same school as each other except when Ru was in kindergarten. Even though Danielle was only three-and-a-half years older than her, she was certain the younger of Liddy’s daughters regretted not getting to keep that status, though Liddy always treated her the same way, even after Ru arrived.
She didn’t remember anything at all about the first three years of her life except for occasional flashes of a beautiful woman with long blonde hair. She wondered if that was her mother, her real one, the one she wanted to assume loved her more than anything but was forced to give her up for some reason she’d never understand. That made-up story didn’t match the reality of what Liddy Brown repeated to her on a daily basis growing up, though. “Your mother didn’t want you. You were as much of a jinx when you were born as you are today. She said you destroyed her life. That’s why she named you Ruin. You ruined everything for her, you’re ruining everything for me, and you will always ruin everything for anyone unlucky enough to walk into your life.”
Thinking of all the times she’d cried herself to sleep, feeling unloved—unlovable—and all alone, Ru felt a sting in her eye and had to blink it away. She hoped Greg didn’t notice, but he said, “You okay, Ru?”
Blinking, she said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”
“She can be harsh, I know.” He took a step closer, running his hand through his short brown hair, which was graying at the temples. He had a larger, hook-like nose, and when Ru had first met him, she’d taken to referring to him as The Vulture—never out loud, of course. “Listen, Ru, you’ve done good for yourself. Don’t worry about what Liddy has to say. If anything, she’s probably just jealous of you.”
Ru looked up and met his brown eyes, not exactly sure how to take the comment. Since when was Greg interested in her feelings? “Thanks,” she managed again.
“Yeah. After all, neither one of her actual daughters will ever amount to anything. Off-off Broadway performer? And Melissa never finished college. If it weren’t for that boyfriend of hers, she’d be living on the streets.” He shrugged. “Guess that runs in the family.” He took a piece of fruit out of the basket in front of Ru and walked out of the room, muttering to himself. Once he was in the living room, she heard him ask Liddy if she needed any help and was thankful he’d finally decided to be of assistance, wondering what had taken him so long. But then, she couldn’t blame him for not wanting to get involved if he didn’t have to. It was enough that he’d paid for most of this party—except for the items Ru’d picked up—when he didn’t care for Melissa in the first place, clearly.
Ru had all of the food plated before Liddy came in to check it. The grapes were wrong and needed to be re-organized, and Ru tried again, wondering how one poured grapes into a bowl incorrectly. The second try was better, though they were still “messy.” Liddy prodded a few into place and then let it go with a loud sigh.
Once Danielle arrived, Liddy forgot Ru was even there as her “youngest daughter,” as she liked to refer to her, launched into a discussion of how much work she’d been doing to prepare for her understudy role in the new production she was working on. Ru said hello to her sister and then went about making sure everything was cleaned up. Soon enough, other guests started to show up, most of them friends of Melissa’s from high school or her mother’s friends from church or around town. Exactly what it was Liddy Brown did while she was at church, Ru was never sure. Clearly, she didn’t take any of the scriptures to heart. The second Ru was free to choose for herself, she’d decided on a less restrictive interpretation of God and hadn’t stepped back inside of a holy building since. If Liddy Brown was religious, Ru would be something else. Anything else.