Chapter 62: Chapter 62

Shen Jianian was lost in thought for quite a while, attracting Fu Jichen’s curiosity. He turned his head and casually glanced at the computer screen: "Let me see what you’re busy with."

Panic peaked as Shen Jianian snapped the lid shut and sat up slightly straighter: "N-nothing."

"Work emails and you’re afraid I’d see them?" Fu Jichen looked at her seriously, his tone somewhat earnest, yet mixed with a hint of jest.

Shen Jianian didn’t dare to gamble; Fu Jichen had a knack for reading people. She had experienced it before.

Quickly adjusting her expression, Shen Jianian half-truthfully said, "Secretary Zhu asked me to send some emails to certain people. One email was wrongly worded and I almost sent it out, it was a close call."

With one hand pressing down on the computer, Shen Jianian steadied her nerves and put it back in her bag.

When they arrived at Rose Manor, dinner was ready, all laid out on the table. Shen Jianian had no time to deal with emails, carried her bag upstairs to put it away, then nonchalantly went downstairs to eat.

Like a thief clutching treasures, trying hard to act innocent in a crowd.

The meal was eaten in frequent distraction, unable to taste what the food even was.

Finishing hastily, Shen Jianian continued to feign calm, exchanged a word with Fu Jichen, and left the dining table first, going upstairs to lock herself in the room.

She sat on the armchair near the window, the curtains not drawn, and the night outside as dark as ink.

The computer was placed on the movable wooden table. Shen Jianian pulled it closer, after much mental preparation, took a deep breath, and opened the computer.

The latest email was from last night, sent by Pei Che.

The last time they had contact was before the family incident, more than two months had passed. He must have heard the news while abroad, who knows what he thought.

Shen Jianian closed her eyes, realizing she wasn’t as strong as she imagined, at least, she didn’t have the courage to click on Pei Che’s email to see what he wrote.

She couldn’t face him.

Shen Jianian pressed her lips tightly, holding her breath for ages, and when she opened her eyes, her breathing was a bit rapid, her eyes dry and sore. She clicked on the email from Bai Changxia.

She thought she would calmly finish reading it, but in truth, she once again overestimated herself.

Jianian, I got the news yesterday, heard you’re in Yicheng, are you okay? I don’t know your specific address, don’t dare to venture out to find you. If you see the email, could you reply to me? I’m very worried about you.

Jianian, Pei Che can’t reach you, he’s been asking me about you, this is the twelfth call from him this month, he says he’s planning to end his studies early and return home. Sometimes I really want to scold you, it’s fine if you avoid others, but why won’t you even see me. Never mind, you love to cry, I won’t scold you. What I really want to say is, if you have problems, we can figure them out together, don’t bear it alone. We are best friends, promised to stick together through thick and thin, how can you not keep your word? I’m very worried about you.

Jianian, I asked all our classmates, no one knows where you are, where did you even go? I know you’re really sad now, at least let me share some of it, okay? I’m very worried about you.

Jianian, today’s my birthday, without you here, I don’t feel like celebrating. Don’t know how you’re doing, I’m very worried about you.

Jianian, are you still in Beicheng? Can we meet? I’m very worried about you.

Jianian, I’ve only heard bits about your family matter, not very clear, sorry I wasn’t there during your hardest times. Where are you now? I’m very worried about you.

Jianian, calling you shows it’s an invalid number, did you disable your phone number? Couldn’t help it, I can only email you, hope you’re still using this account. If you see this email, please, please reach out to me. I’m very worried about you.

Bai Changxia sent an email almost every week, with each ending with "I’m very worried about you."

Shen Jianian read every word, tears had long blurred her vision.

Bai Changxia had been thinking about her, in the time she left Beicheng, likely asked many about her before learning she was now in Yicheng.

When she initially left Beicheng, she cut off contact with everyone, even her best friend. She knew if she contacted Bai Changxia, she’d do anything to help her, but at that time, she only wanted to run.

Shen Jianian wiped away her tears, her ten fingers hovered above the keyboard, pondering for a long while, unsure how to respond.

Eventually, she told Bai Changxia that she was doing well now and gave her new contact information.

The email was sent, and within three minutes, Shen Jianian’s phone rang, a number with no label flashing on the screen.

One glance and she knew Bai Changxia was calling.

Shen Jianian grinned at her reflection in the glass window, not wanting her voice to sound like she’d cried, not wanting Bai Changxia, far away in Beicheng, to worry.

Composing her emotions, Shen Jianian’s finger slid to the answer key.

She hadn’t said a word when the person on the phone cried even harder than she did: "Jianian, is that you?"

Bai Changxia was more mature than other girls her age, always maintaining a cool image outwardly, suitors often deterred by her cold demeanor. They’d known each other for years, Shen Jianian had never seen her break down .

In her memories, even when Bai Changxia broke her leg mountain climbing, she hadn’t shed a tear.

Compared to her, Shen Jianian often felt too weak.

Listening to Bai Changxia sob through the phone, Shen Jianian’s carefully composed emotions crumbled, tears overflowed like a broken dam.

The feigned strength was ultimately a fortress built of toy blocks, remove one, and it would collapse entirely, incomparable to walls of steel.

Bai Changxia struggled to finish a sentence, interrupting several times: "Jianian... are... you... okay? Can you tell me... your address, I want... I want to see you."

Shen Jianian covered her eyes with one hand, crying too hard to speak, continuously making sobbing sounds.

In her email, she replied that she was fine, Bai Changxia didn’t believe her, needed to see for herself to feel assured.

"Jianian?" Bai Changxia choked, "say something."

"I... I’m fine, really." Shen Jianian was also choked up, "you don’t have to come over."

She wanted to see Bai Changxia, and yet feared seeing her.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, soft, but it startled Shen Jianian. She looked towards the door with teary eyes, hearing the sound of the lock being turned.

She’d locked it; they couldn’t open it from outside.

Fu Jichen called to her through the door: "Shen Jianian?"

On the way back, she’d seemed off; Qu Mo was there, so he didn’t ask. At dinner, she was distracted, pretending to be fine, he’d noticed, worried she was bottling up troubles.

Shen Jianian knew the door couldn’t hold off Fu Jichen. In a rush, she said to the person on the phone: "Xiaxia, I’m not convenient right now, I’ll contact you later."

She hung up, went quickly to the bathroom to wash her face, looking up at the clean mirror, realized she’d barely washed away the tear streaks from her face, not the redness in her eyes.

Shen Jianian turned around and opened the door.

Fu Jichen was outside, hands in pockets, patience wearing thin from waiting. The door finally opened, he lifted his eyes, attention fixed on Shen Jianian’s face.

Her bangs were wet, clearly just washed her face.

Shen Jianian lowered her head slightly, avoiding his gaze: "What’s up?"

"I should be asking you what’s up." Fu Jichen scrutinized her, "Why took so long to answer the door?"

"I was working, didn’t hear the knock."

"Really?" Fu Jichen didn’t believe a word, "Why don’t you dare to look at me?"

Shen Jianian slowly lifted her head, her reddened eyes stark and hard to overlook.

Fu Jichen frowned tightly: "Cried, did someone upset you again? Is it the task Zhu Yilan gave you that’s impossible to finish? Is someone at the company bullying you? Or is it your troublesome cousin bothering you again?"

He guessed one thing after another, Shen Jianian shook her head: "None of it."

"Then what’s going on?"

Fu Jichen wasn’t easy to fool, Shen Jianian couldn’t come up with a decent lie, looking at him with tear-washed eyes: "Can I choose not to say?"

After a brief silence, Fu Jichen said coolly: "Suit yourself."

Though his tone wasn’t great, he didn’t press further. Shen Jianian breathed a sigh of relief, showing him a smile: "Thank you."

There it was again, the most common words she spoke to him were "thank you" and "sorry," words Fu Jichen had grown tired of hearing. He stepped into her room, and as he passed her, unexpectedly he stretched out his arm, wrapped it around her waist, and picked her up.

Shen Jianian gasped softly, instantly understanding his intent: "I haven’t finished my work!"

"A worthless job, worth spending all this time on?"

Fu Jichen’s deep voice carried a hint of amusement, and in the blink of an eye, they were at the bedside.