Chapter 36: Chapter 36

"Gray," I croak out his name, and for some reason, it feels incredibly heavy when I say it. He doesn't budge from his spot, just continuing to stare at me under the pouring rain, much like how I'm looking at him. I drop my bike again, intending to step closer, but he moves back.

"Wait, I just need to talk to you. I'm not afraid of you, and I'll keep all the secrets I know. Just please, don't go away from me," I hurriedly utter, my voice trembling with both haste and fear. I'm afraid he'll avoid me again.

"I beg you, Gray. I just need to talk. I only want to make sure of something," I plead again, my tone desperate. I don't care what's going through Gray's mind right now. All I want to do is ensure that I can do anything to keep him visible around me. I don't even know why I need to do this, maybe because I don't want to feel the pain that comes with thinking I won't be able to see him again. It's like he's disappearing from my world, and I can't find him no matter how hard I look or in what way I search.

Considering the differences between us—him not being human and having his own world—this is a way for me to make sure he doesn't vanish from my life. And that's when I see him start to move forward, stepping closer to me. I look up as our faces meet. He looks extremely pale, and he seems thinner. I slowly reach out my hand, his amber eyes glowing like a hungry wolf, and he follows my hand's movement. I gently touch his firm jaw, which feels surprisingly warm. Is he running a fever?

"We need to talk, okay? I promise I won't ever reveal this secret," I speak softly, trying to reassure him through my gaze. I'm sure Gray can read my sincerity. He suddenly stops my hand's movement and tightens his grip on it. I wince slightly, but I endure it. It's a sign that Gray is truly near.

Without saying a word, he immediately drags me inside the house, ignoring the rainwater dripping onto the floor. He opens the door, which turns out to be unlocked.

"Gray, I'm completely soaked. The floor could get dirty," I say, trying to halt Gray's determined dragging as he leads me through the rooms inside the house. He continues to pull me up the stairs to the second floor.

"Gray, I'm sure Miss Veranda will be furious if her house is a mess," I repeat, but Gray doesn't seem to hear me. I fall silent, still following his brisk steps. I know this hallway leads to a room at the corner, his own room. As expected, when Gray opens the door to that room, a strong scent hits my nose. He releases his grip on me.

"You can change your clothes first. You might get sick if you stay wet like this," I say again, expressing my concern for him, ignoring my own miserable appearance, looking like a drenched chick. Gray turns back, lowering the hoodie that's been covering part of his face. And then, I see his hair and entire face clearly.

But it's not just that; he's staring at me even more intensely. I have no idea what's going through his mind as he gazes at me with such a piercing look. I find myself feeling like I've done something significantly wrong. I bite my lower lip and clench my fingers, not knowing what to say to Gray right now. It's as if everything I had in my mind just vanishes when I see him like this.

"Why did you come here?" His first words make my heart race again. His deep voice sounds even rougher than usual.

"I was looking for you," I answer, my voice coming out like a whisper.

"Why were you looking for me?" Gray questions again, causing me to grip my fingers even tighter. I feel so nervous.

"You ignored me, Gray. How many messages have I sent you without a reply? I've been waiting for you for a week, but you haven't shown up at school. That's why the last resort I wanted to make sure of was visiting your house. I thought you had really left this place," I say, causing Gray to fall silent.

"What's your reason for meeting me?" Gray asks again. I don't know why his demeanor has changed so drastically. Didn't he once say that I'm his destined soulmate, his fated one? I'm supposed to be his match. Then why use sweet words like that if, in the end, when I discover all his secrets, he avoids me like this? Is he playing with my feelings, ones that have genuinely fallen for him? I feel my heart pounding rapidly, realizing that I might have fallen for him quite quickly, in an unexpectedly short span of time. Could this really be happening to me, someone who always keeps their guard up against strangers?

"I could only think of you. I was afraid that something bad might happen to you, so I wanted to make sure. I just wanted to see you safe and sound. That's what was in my mind when I came to your house," I explain, and that's the reason I can offer him. Gray then turns around, roughly wiping his face. I don't know why he appears so frustrated when he looks at me.

"This is really difficult, Aurel," he says, making me gaze at him with a questioning expression.

"For the past week, I've been holding myself back," he continues, then turns to face me again, those glowing amber eyes not surprising me anymore. It's like seeing a fantasy figure right in front of me.

"Did I make it hard for you?" I ask, causing Gray to nod his head.

"Yes, it's been incredibly difficult for me, Aurel. You have no idea how hard it's been for me to avoid you for this past week," he replies. And it seems he truly intended to avoid me. So, what's the strong reason behind it?

"Why did you need to avoid me? Are you afraid that I'll get to know you better and uncover more of your secrets? Don't you trust me not to reveal your secrets to anyone?" I inquire, causing Gray to shake his head.

"Even just thinking about your scent makes it unbearable for me, Aurel. So, for this past week, I've been trying to restrain myself and confining myself to the Neutral dimension just to calm down my animal instincts," Gray says, causing my brows to furrow. His words are difficult to fully comprehend. Yes, Gray does appear human right now, despite his ability to transform into an animal. But what does he mean by animal instincts?

"I held myself back from attacking you, Aurel, and it's been increasingly hard. I don't know if along with my resurgence, I'll gain the instinct to claim you as my mate. I didn't want to rush into that, which is why I did it," he explains again, but I still struggle to fully grasp it.

"Explain it slowly to me. I can listen to anything you have to say, but please, never avoid me again," I say, reaching out and gripping his hand tightly. Somehow, his hand feels warmer than before.

"Are you running a fever? I told you, it's better to change your clothes first. I'll wait for you here, okay?" I start to turn around, but Gray immediately pulls me back, our bodies making contact. I can feel his rapid heartbeat against my back, his warm breath brushing my neck, rendering me speechless. And when his large hand wraps around my waist, it leaves me in a moment of stillness.

"I don't want to be like this, Aurel. I don't want to hurt you or make you suffer, but for some reason, it's incredibly difficult. This past week has been the worst week I've ever experienced in my entire life in this world. Avoiding you, avoiding my soulmate—it's been excruciatingly hard," he continues, each word he utters making my entire body tremble as his warm breath reaches my ear.

"That's why I'm asking you to explain everything to me, so I know what I should do, Gray, just never avoid me again," I say, causing Gray to fall silent. He buries his face into my shoulder and hugs me even tighter, and I can sense him deeply inhaling my scent.

"Let it stay like this a little longer," Gray speaks up, and I find myself rendered speechless. I don't know how long we stand in this embrace, Gray holding me from behind. I simply allow him to do what he needs to right now. I don't want to push him away again, causing him to vanish from my sight. I gently stroke his hand on my abdomen, as if trying to soothe him, reassuring him that everything will be okay. He doesn't need to hold back anymore, and he doesn't need to disappear from me anymore. That's the message I want to convey to Gray.

"Are you ready to tell me everything now?" I ask after we've been in this position for a while.

"Do you really want to hear it?" Gray questions, and I nod.

"Yes, I'll listen to whatever you have to say, as long as you promise not to vanish from my sight again. It really scared me, Gray," I reply, making him look at the side of my face. I can see those beautiful amber eyes up close.

"Alright, I'll tell you everything," he says, and I nod.