Chapter 50: Chapter 50

TRISTAN:

“The men who had wronged your family – is there any chance that my father had something to do with that? Could it be the actual reason why you hated him?”

Dahlia’s eyes were looking straight at me, not evading it, not blinking at all. She wore a serious look in her face that it made my heart quiver.

‘Idiot, just tell her the truth… How can you avoid such a direct question now,’ Arthur murmured in our shared consciousness.

‘But our mate would get hurt… She definitely won’t forgive us then,’ Albus whimpered.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to run away from Dahlia’s sight. I wanted to hide and evade her questions. I didn’t want to see her face at all.

I had lied a million times before to survive and to get nearer to the ending I’ve envisioned, so why?... Why was it so hard to lie to her now?...

“Dahlia, if I suspected Duke Hurst, even just a bit, why would I approach you? I don’t think I could ever live with someone I deemed as my enemy…”

The words came out smoothly. Perhaps I was a more gifted liar than I thought…

“Yeah… That’s such a stupid question,” Dahlia said. She breathed a deep sigh as she leaned her head into my left arm.

“Tristan, promise me one thing, okay?”

“What is it?”

“Even if things will turn out worse or painful, don’t lie to me, alright? You must trust that I would understand you…”

It was as if I just received a slap on the face.

“Yeah… Of course,” I replied.

I was an idiot through and through…

“My father, he was really hard on me at times… He wasn’t the best father, but I knew he tried. He tried his hardest to be a good one,” Dahlia began.

“I’m sure your father was a wonderful person too, Tristan. Seeing you grow up into the person that you are now despite what you’ve gone through, I’m sure he’s proud of you, as I am proud of you…”

I couldn’t contain it any longer. Something trickled down from my eyes into my cheeks and towards the corners of my face.

“Tristan?” Dahlia’s worried face came into my view as she raised her head from my shoulder, and she saw it – the drops of guilt tears trickling slowly from my face.

“Tristan, are you alright?”

For the first time, I could not speak. I leaned into Dahlia’s neck as I embraced her and wailed.

I wailed like a child on the day my family died… Now I am wailing because something in me felt like dying.

It was probably my heart that was blackened by revenge…

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DAHLIA:

“There now… Why are you crying,” I asked him softly…

Maybe I shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have said something about his father.

I could only imagine the hurt he must have felt when he lost them… He was a young child, and he had to horrifically witness what had happened to his parents…

I could only imagine the anguish he had felt as things that he couldn’t control got out of hand. I could only imagine the pain of losing people that were dear to you…

He continued to cry in front of me. I hugged him and patted my Tristan gently at the back.

“Dahlly, don’t you… Don’t you ever leave me,” he said slowly when he had calmed down.

I raised my head towards him. “Why would I leave you?”

“Because I am not a good person. I can hurt you.”

“I know, but one’s tolerance for hurt and the ability to love are two different things… I won’t stop loving you ever, if that’s what you meant to ask from me…”

He, Kaist, and my father were right. Tristan could easily hurt me in many ways. I am not a fool, yet every day, why do I fall deeply in love with Tristan?... It was so hard not to love him.

He raised my chin towards him, and I brushed my hands into his cheeks. They were still wet from tears.

It didn’t suit Tristan’s manly visage, but I was glad to see it. I was glad to see that a part of him feels human, and that part would always be vulnerable, just within my grasp like this...

He tipped my face upwards kissing me. It felt like it was a long time since we have kissed like this…

Before we knew it, our kisses had deepened.

I parted away from his lips, breathless. “Uh, Tristan… I-I can’t…” The image of him as a vicious wolf still burned strongly in my memory.

“I know. Let’s just stay like this then… Just stay with me like this,” he said. He folded his arms around my waist and patted my head into his chest. It was full of warmth that my growing fears were easily dispelled.

“Dahlly, when I turned rabid… Weren’t you scared,” he asked.

I nodded. “I’m still scared…”

“I know. I’m scared too… I don’t want to ever hurt you…”

I didn’t tell him the entire truth. I was not just scared because he can turn into someone monstrous. I was scared because it feels like I could still love him even when he does…

Just now, he promised never to lie to me. He promised that even if things can hurt, he’ll tell me about it honestly.

If I am to believe father’s stories today though, that means Tristan could easily lie and manipulate people. He could say one thing and do another.

What am I supposed to grasp at if that’s the case? This growing love for him - where can I possibly attach it to if everything turned out to be a hoax?

Is it okay to simply trust my burning desires for him and his desires for me? Sometimes, I am afraid that what attracted us to one another were just these mere desires and nothing more…

“Dahlly… What are you thinking?”

“Hmm? Nothing… ” That’s right. I mustn’t over think things anymore. Tristan had already given me the explanations I needed. What was there to suspect?

If I don’t learn to trust him, this union that we are trying to build together will crumble.

I reached into his chest and fingered the tattooed mark of a wolf, our mating mark. It was a symbol that we can never break away from each other.

If this was what the Moon Goddess had destined us for, then, let me just trust her. Let me just trust that she had sent me a mate who would love me openly without the need for any lies and secrets…