Chapter 50: Chapter 50

The river wasn’t moving quickly at all, and the water was so clear, standing on the tree-lined shore, Rain could see all the way to the bottom. It didn’t look that deep, maybe three or four feet. The water was so inviting, she was ready to jump in with her clothes on.

But she wasn’t in charge.

“All right. Walt and I will go first,” Mist said, taking her backpack off. “We’ll head down there around the bend a little bit so you guys can keep an eye out for anyone coming from Dafo without any distractions.”

“Like we won’t be able to hear you,” Adam teased.

Mist shot him a dirty look. “We’ll try not to be too long,” she said, unzipping her pack and pulling out a small bottle of what Rain assumed was some sort of soap--either shampoo or body wash, or both.

As she and Walt headed off, Rain realized what this meant. “Hold up.” She shot over to her friend and pulled her back by her shoulder. “You aren’t assuming Adam and I are going to be in the river--naked--at the same time are you?”

“Rain, please. Grow up, girl,” Mist said, rolling her eyes. “It’s not as if the two of you haven’t had intercourse dozens of times.”

“But that’s different!” Rain insisted.

“It’s okay, Rain,” Adam called from behind her, clearly ascertaining what her concern might be. “I’ll look the other way.”

Mist jerked her arm away. “We need to hurry, Rain,” she reminded her, more than a little annoyed at her friend for slowing them down for what she considered an immature reason.

Rain took a deep breath and let Mist and Walt disappear. Adam had his back to her, standing a few feet in front of the trees closest to the riverbank. Even coated in mud and angry at her for reasons Rain didn’t understand, he was still the most handsome man she’d ever seen, better looking than anyone she could’ve dreamt up with all the time to daydream in the world.

He glanced over his shoulder and gave her a small smile. “It’ll be fine, I promise. It’s not a big deal. You’ve seen me naked before. I just won’t look.”

“I have seen you naked before but it wasn’t because I was trying to,” she reminded him. It was just that one time, when the lights came on. “And I haven’t seen your backside.”

“Too bad. It’s magnificent.”

He wasn’t looking at her when he made the remark, but she could tell he was joking. Rain giggled for the first time in a while. He sure knew how to make her feel better, no matter the situation.

It didn’t take long before the noisy couple let them know what they were up to. “So much for not alerting anyone that we’re here,” Rain commented. She dropped her pack near the shoreline and slung her rifle around at the ready. She doubted the Mothers could’ve caught up to them by now, but if they were close by, it would have to be due to their vehicles, which they should hear approaching. The roads were terrible here, and the mud would slow them down. If they came by air, they’d hear that in plenty of time to take cover. They hadn’t seen a single drone since the one exploded as they were entering Dafo.

“Well, it does sound like they are hurrying, but I’m not sure they’re going to be any cleaner when they get out. They might forget to wash,” Adam commented, still not looking at her as he faced the way they’d come.

Rain agreed. The couple wasn’t quite as loud now, but Rain still felt her face heating up just listening to them. Once again, she couldn’t help but wonder how Mist and Walt had become so comfortable with one another so quickly. As much as she liked Adam, she couldn’t imagine the two of them carrying on like that already.

Adam didn’t say anything else, so Rain stood there in silence as well. Even though it probably wasn’t more than five or ten minutes, listening to the awkward noises made it seem like much longer. Eventually, the sound of Mist and Walt chatting as they walked through the trees hit her ear, and Rain wanted to let out a sigh of relief until she realized what that meant.

“Okay, you two. Here’s the soap,” Mist said, plopping the half-empty bottle into Rain’s palm. They were both clean, their hair wet but shiny instead of coated in mud, wearing new clothes. “Now don’t end up wasting a lot of time like we just did.” Mist started laughing.

Walt added, “Unless you really want to,” and they both exploded in laughter.

Unable to come up with anything witty to say, or anything to say at all, Rain went over and picked up her backpack and headed down the way they’d come from, praying nothing embarrassing happened. Whatever it was that had irritated Adam, she didn’t want to make it worse, and she certainly didn’t want him to see her naked. The sun was fading, but it was still light enough outside that he wouldn’t have much left to his imagination.

“All right, guys,” Adam said, shaking his head. “We’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“Good,” Mist called after them as they made their way around the bend where the other two had just come from. “I have a feeling if the Mothers are going to attack Dafo, they’ll do it by cover of night. We should get out of here.”

A shudder went down Rain’s spine as she realized Mist might be right. Thoughts of what could happen to Dal and his family made her less worried about Adam potentially seeing her naked and more concerned about the idea that the Mothers could take out hundreds of people in a matter of minutes if they found that bunker.

Adam dropped his pack on the ground near a tree at the shoreline and dug out a change of clothing, laying it on top. Rain did the same, setting the soap bottle on the ground near where she was standing. She also pulled out a smaller waterproof bag that she could use to keep her current clothes away from everything else.

“If you wanna close your eyes, I’ll get in first,” Adam said.

Without meaning to, Rain glanced up in his direction and accidentally saw him pulling his shirt off over his head. She looked away quickly. “Okay,” she said, feeling her face turn red. While he was doing whatever he was doing, she went ahead and took her boots off. Her socks were still dry at least, thanks to the insulation inside of the military boots. She still intended to put on a fresh pair, though, and shoved the dirty ones inside of the bag.

The sound of the water splashing in front of her let her know Adam was making his way into the river. “Boy, that’s chilly,” he said, his voice a little higher pitched than normal. “Not too bad, though. I’m in if you wanna get undressed. I’ll keep my back to you.”

“Okay,” Rain said again, as if that was the only word she knew all of a sudden. She lifted her head to see Adam with his back to her, splashing water up over his face. Even mostly submerged, in the dim light, he was unbelievably handsome, and she had a hard time remembering what she was supposed to be doing as she gazed at him.

Feeling foolish for making such a big deal out of what didn’t have to be a complex situation, Rain pulled her eyes off of him and hurried to get the rest of her clothes off. She couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder a few times. Being naked outside was something she hadn’t experienced before, and technically she’d never been naked with a man before either, not fully anyhow. Not that she didn’t trust Adam. She did. It was herself she didn’t completely trust.

Grabbing the soap, Rain headed off to the river, pretending it didn’t make any difference that she was buck naked in the middle of the woods with the man she’d been dreaming about for as long as she could remember.

The moment her toes hit the water, Rain realized he wasn’t kidding about the temperature. Cold water bit into her feet, causing a shiver to spiral up her spine and her teeth to begin to chatter before she was even in up to her knees. But Rain didn’t slow down. She needed to get herself underwater as quickly as she could so that she wouldn’t have to worry about Adam accidentally looking her way.

Once she was in up to her neck, doing her best not to think about the water temperature, she said, “Okay, I’m in,” and rolled her eyes that she couldn’t think of any other way to start a sentence other than “okay.” “I’ll give you the soap as soon as I’m done with it.”

“Great. Thanks,” Adam said without turning around. Rain stole another glance in his direction and then concentrated on washing the mud off of her face and out of her hair. “No wonder those two decided they needed another activity to keep themselves warm.”

Rain couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why is it so cold?” She would’ve thought that time of year the water would’ve been warmer since the temperatures outside weren’t so low.

“Maybe the rain cooled it off,” Adam offered. “Or maybe there’s an underground spring nearby.”

He seemed to know a lot about weather and rivers for someone who’d never been outside in his life up until a few days ago. Rain kept her thoughts to herself, though, concentrating on getting herself clean, rather than conversing with the attractive naked man a few steps away from her. Every once in a while, her eyes shot over to him of their own accord, no matter how badly she tried to fight it. His muscular back was turned to her, so he didn’t catch her peeking, which was for the best since she couldn’t help but let her gaze fall to the water’s edge. The river was so clear, she could probably see below the surface, if she wanted to.

Shaking her head, Rain turned her back to him. The water had started to numb her toes slightly, and she’d need to finish rinsing away the soap suds and get out before she couldn’t walk anymore. Deciding she’d likely gotten all of the mud off and the residue from the detergent, she said, “I’m done with the soap.”

“All right. You want me to just stick my hand out, and you can put it in my palm?”

“I guess,” Rain said, wondering if that was the best way to make the exchange. “I mean… I’ll have to see where I’m going.”

“I know. But we’ve basically established there isn’t much on me you haven’t already seen, and I’m doing my best to respect your wish not to have me look at you. So… I’ll just trust you’ll keep your head up.”

A half-snicker, half-snort expressed itself before she could stop it. “‘Kay,” she said, as if it was no big deal for her to step over and hand him the soap bottle without her eyes drifting below the river’s surface.

Staying low herself, just in case he accidentally turned around, Rain took a deep breath and faced him. He was about ten yards away from her, his hand out behind him. Thoughts of what she could do instead of handing him the soap came to mind, and she had to pause to clear her thoughts. Never in her wildest imagination would she have ever conceded she might miss IW, and she wasn’t really missing it now. She was missing him. Even though his strong hands had been bound to the seat every time they’d been together, she’d held his hand in hers enough times since they left Gretchintown to know what it would be like to have those fingers graze her skin, to have him free to touch her body, and those thoughts raced through her mind as the simple act of placing a bottle of soap into his outstretched palm became much more complicated than it needed to be. Rain was suddenly glad the water was chilly; maybe it would clear her mind.

Finally reaching him, she put the soap in his hand and backed away. “Thanks,” Adam said, his voice soft. For a moment, she dared to think perhaps he was having similar thoughts about her. But then she remembered the distance that had fallen between them the night before, his inexplicable, sudden silence, and how it had hurt her in a way she couldn’t put into words, so she hurried away, turning from him so he could wash off in peace.

Rain stayed buried in the water up to her neck, her mind wandering back to the night before as she went over every word that had come out of her mouth and still had no idea what it was that she’d said to make Adam react the way that he had. She’d been trying to be nice, to pay him a compliment, to let him know how much she cared about his happiness, but he had seemed to think her words were rude or meant to hurt him, and she had no idea why.

“All right. Ready to get out of this glacial fjord?” Adam asked with a soft chuckle, bringing Rain out of her thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Definitely.”

“Cool. You wanna go first, or do you want me to?”

Thinking it would take her forever to get her feet moving on the slippery rocks when they were so cold, she muttered, “You can go ahead.”

“All right. But no peeking. I mean it, Rain. If I catch you checking out my backside, then you’re just gonna have to let me watch you get out of the river, too. Fair is fair now.” He was teasing, she could tell by his tone. Rain laughed politely, thinking maybe he was trying to cheer her up. Maybe he realized he had been aloof the night before and their relationship was strained, and he didn’t like it any more than she did. Or maybe she was imagining the whole thing. Either way, she could appreciate him trying to make her smile, even if the result was forced.

“Okay,” Rain said--because, apparently, that’s all she knew how to say anymore--and then her mind slipped back to the conversation from the night before. Why was Adam upset that she wanted him to find a woman that could make him happy?

Vaguely, she heard the sounds of him making his way back to the shore, not paying much attention to him, although the more she attempted to ignore the fact that he was walking out of the river--that he was naked and walking out of the water, which would allow her to peek over her shoulder and see this magnificent backside she hadn’t seen but knew existed--the harder it was to fight the underlying thoughts.

Rain tried to think about something else, anything else. When the sounds of the water splashing dissipated, she assumed that meant he was out. She planned to give him a chance to get dressed before she turned around, but the temptation was so great, and her mind was lost on so many other things, that the undercurrent got the best of her, and she found herself turning her head quickly in his direction.

She’d read once about a creature in mythology from thousands of years ago that could turn a person to stone just from a single glance. That’s how she felt when her eyes landed on Adam’s bare bottom--as if she couldn’t pull herself away. He was right; it was magnificent. Pure, rippling muscle like nothing she’d ever even imagined. But beyond that, there were the bruises. How many days had it been since he’d gotten an injection? Over a week. Yet, even at this distance, she could see layers of blue and purple marks, surrounded by the green and yellow remnants of older sites that were now healing. Trapped between the desire to run her hands across his smooth form and to cry over his pain, Rain simply couldn’t look away, her eyes bulging and her mouth open.

Until Adam looked over his shoulder. His eyes popped out of his head as well, but then he started to laugh. “Really, Rain?”

The spell was broken, and she managed to pull her face away, turning around completely as blood rushed to her face. The urge to sink herself far below the surface of the water and just stay there until Adam gave up and went away was overwhelming. How had she allowed herself to look in the first place? Much less get caught.

“Damn, Rain. Here I was thinking you’d do whatever it took to make sure I didn’t get a chance to see you undressed and then I catch you staring at me like you’ve never seen a man’s bare ass before.”

She hadn’t--except for in her anatomy class, and those were pictures, videos, and holograms, not the real thing. Even if she’d seen a thousand bare male asses, she would still have gawked at his. “I’m so sorry,” Rain said, still not turning around. “I really didn’t mean to.”

“I’m just teasing you. It’s all right,” he said, a slight chuckle still reverberating under each word. “I’ve got my pants on now if you want to get out of there before you freeze to death. And don’t worry. I won’t look.”

Rain turned around then to see he had his back to her as he slid his shirt over his wet torso, his hair dripping down to wet the collar. They’d dry pretty quickly once they got moving again, but at least they wouldn’t be covered in mud, assuming they could avoid wet patches in the road, at least until they reached the River Red. Then… who knows what might happen.

At the moment, she had another dilemma, though. Fair was fair. “We made a deal,” she said, already heading toward the shore. The idea of a man seeing her naked made her face flush even darker, but if anyone had to see her without her clothes on, she was glad it was Adam. He was already familiar with most of her body anyway, wasn’t he? Besides, was it possible he might not be so upset with her for whatever she’d said to hurt his feelings if he could see she wasn’t so bad looking? She wasn’t perfect by any means, but she’d always been pretty happy with the shape of her body. Maybe he would like it, too.

“Rain, I’m not gonna turn around,” he said, sitting down and pulling on his socks and boots.

The fact that he didn’t seem to want to see her undressed stung slightly, but Rain couldn’t make him look at her. She reached the edge of the water and stepped up onto dry land, thankful that she began to feel her toes again as soon as she made contact with the grassy shore.

Squeezing the water out of her hair, she made her way to the clothes she’d laid out, wishing she had a towel, but that was an item too bulky for their packs. “You sure?” she asked, bending down to pick up her bra. “A promise is a promise. Last chance. The ladies are going back inside.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Adam said, dropping his head. He was dressed now, ready to go, just sitting there with his back to her, his hands crossed over his knees.

“Okay,” she said, but she didn’t move to put her bra on just yet. For some reason, she waited, just staring at the back of his head. Slowly, as if he had no control over himself either, as if she wasn’t the only one possessed by an urge completely beyond understanding, he turned and looked over his shoulder.

Rain felt his eyes on her for a few seconds, longer than he likely intended, before he turned away. The expected embarrassment didn’t come, though. She didn’t feel as if she’d done something wrong or as if she should try to cover her body from him. Instead, she felt as if her body was meant to be shared with him. Pulling a deep breath into her lungs, Rain put her bra on and then continued to get dressed, sitting down to put her socks and boots on and running a brush through her hair before she worked it into a ponytail. It only took her two or three minutes, but Adam didn’t say a word the entire time, leaving her to wonder whether or not he regretted giving into that impulse or if he just didn’t know what to say.

“You guys about done?” Mist shouted. “You aren’t over there making babies are you?”

Rain groaned before calling back, “Mist, you know we couldn’t be doing that. We still have our IUDs in, silly!” which got a laugh out of Adam and made Mist laugh loud enough that Rain could hear her through the trees. Since she and Mist were only in the practice stages of the Motherhood, both of them had inserts that prevented them from getting pregnant. Rain knew how to remove them because of her medical training, but they couldn’t be taken out by just anyone or else it could be a huge problem for the woman who had it removed. Not only could it cause a significant amount of bleeding, the Mothers had installed a tracker inside of each device so that if one came out, they’d know immediately. It was all part of the control they exuded over all the women of Michaelanburg. They wanted to know who was pregnant and when so they could dictate which babies lived and which ones went over the Bridge. Allowing a woman the freedom to potentially carry her own baby in her womb was akin to inviting chaos into their ranks, something the Motherhood would never do.

“You ready?” Adam asked, standing and putting on his pack before he slung his rifle over his shoulder and took a few steps toward her.

Rain finished zipping up her pack and nodded. “I think so.”

His hand jutted out in front of her. Rain looked at it and then raised her face to look into his. That smile was back, the one that instantly put her at ease. Putting her hand in his, she let him pull her up until they were mere inches from one another. Rain swallowed hard. Now would be the perfect time to let him know how she felt. All she’d have to do was lean in and press her lips to his.

A second passed by, then another. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, his eyes heavy on her face. She didn’t breathe, didn’t move. “You’re so beautiful, Rain,” Adam said quietly and then let go of her hand and stepped away toward where Mist and Walt were waiting.

Rain’s eyes didn’t move to follow him. She’d missed her chance, but the fact that he’d also had the opportunity to kiss her if he’d wanted to and had let it go told her more than she was willing to accept at the moment. Despite the compliment, a feeling of heaviness settled into her lungs as she bent over to grab her pack and put it on. He might think she was beautiful, but he must not think she was a good enough person, or the right person for him. Or else… he would’ve kissed her, wouldn’t he have?

Rain had no answers. She was exhausted and still had a long way to go. The sun sank below the tree line, leaving them in near darkness. Just as they made their way back onto the road that led north to Oklasaw, the sky behind them lit up and a booming in the distance reminded them that they were being chased.

Turning to see what the commotion was, Rain saw what looked like fireworks in the sky over Dafo, but she knew that it wasn’t a celebration she was witnessing--it was a battle. The Mothers had arrived in Dal’s territory, and they would do whatever was necessary to get past the meager blockade. Then, they would be coming for her and her friends. As much as her heart hurt for the new friends she’d made at Dafo, when Mist shouted, “Run! Rain! Run!” she turned back around and did the only thing she could. Rain started to run.