Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Evelyn was up when they snuck in the back door; even her dad tried to avoid making any noise for fear it would wake Beth’s younger sisters, Dani and Lavender, and Evelyn would come undone. But Lavender, who was three and named after her mother’s favorite color, was standing in the kitchen in her Rugrats nightgown while Evelyn filled a sippy cup with tap water.

“We won!” Richard announced, patting Lavender’s head. She smiled up at him but didn’t say anything, and Evelyn shushed all of them.

“Don’t wake Dani up,” she insisted. Her sisters’ room was far away from where they were standing, across from the living room, in the front part of the house, away from the kitchen, nestled between the parlor and her parents’ bedroom. It was as if whoever designed this house had no blueprints and just started walling spaces off.

“Sorry,” Richard replied, opening the refrigerator. Beth took this opportunity to head to the bathroom before her dad needed it, happy to avoid her mother. It wasn’t that she thought her mom would ask her any questions at all about what had happened at the game; she made it pretty clear she didn’t care so long as Beth stayed out of trouble and kept her legs closed, but she also didn’t want to hear about folding the laundry wrong or the chores she’d have to get done tomorrow. All she wanted to do was pee, grab a pop, and head up the stairs to her room.

By the time she returned to the kitchen, it had cleared out, and Beth was relieved. She pulled a Dr. Pepper out of the fridge, inspecting it to make sure it wasn’t her father’s preferred Dr. Thunder, and headed for the stairway. The door was closed, and she pulled it open slowly, hoping it didn’t creak and disturb the slumbering princesses. The noise was subtle enough not to bring her mother out to investigate.

Beth studied the stairs for a moment. She hadn’t been scared of the dark since she was little, but this house was weird in so many ways, like the layout, for example. It was old, and she figured someone had likely died there at one point in time of another, so she checked the stairs and was relieved that Halley was the only ghost she’d likely see that night. Carefully, she felt along the railing with her free hand and slid her feet forward across the thick, brownish-yellow carpet, taking her time so as to avoid plummeting to her death.

Once she reached the top, it took her a few seconds of waving her hand around in the dark before she felt the brush of light cord on her wrist. After a few more tries, she captured it and gave it a yank. The bare bulb illuminated the space enough for her to see to get to her room. “We really need a better solution,” Beth muttered, flipping the light on in her room before returning to the hallway to turn off the light.

Whether he’d been waiting for her or noticed her light coming on, Beth couldn’t be sure, but she’d barely gotten the radio on and tossed a pillow onto the floor next to the window before she heard the tinkle of rocks brushing against her own glass. She was excited to see Ryan, since it had been a few days since they’d spoken, but at the same time, she didn’t want to relive everything for him either. How in the world would she find the words to explain what had happened with Sammy? And she didn’t think she could describe Halley in such a way that he’d even believe she was real.

Nevertheless, she pulled her blinds up and her window open. He was sitting on the window seat, a broad smile on his face, like he was up to something, and Beth couldn’t help but grin. At least here, in her room, with only Ryan’s friendly face to witness, she could relax a bit and be herself without worrying about the judgmental eyes of those bitches on the bleachers.

“Well, if it isn’t Elizabeth Ann Monroe in the flesh,” he joked. “I thought maybe you’d gone off to visit one of your other kingdoms.”

“Me?” Beth replied, plopping down on the pillow. “I’ve been here. Where have you been?”

“Oh, you know. Out amongst my subjects.” He smirked, and Beth smiled back at him. His teeth were so straight, she often marveled at his braces-less past. “I’ve been taking it easy. My mom has decided I shouldn’t spend so much time upstairs because our one AC unit doesn’t do such a good job of pumping the cold air up here. She’s decided to get me a window unit, but while she saves up her pennies, she wants me to stay downstairs more.”

Beth nodded. Their houses were probably the same age, but Ryan’s family had not bought theirs from a carpenter the way that the Monroe’s had, and Ryan’s house was in desperate need of some repairs, including new paint, she noted taking in the splintered siding beneath his window that looked more gray than white. “I can empathize with that,” she assured him, mopping at her brow with the back of her hand before popping the top on her Dr. Pepper. She took a long drink and set the can on her dresser, which she could reach without standing. She tried not to drink soda directly in front of his face since it was on his mother’s list of harmful foods that could cause his heart to race, but she was sweltering.

“How was the game?” His genuine interest reminded her that her problems were little in comparison to his.

“It was… bizarre,” she replied with a sharp nod. She reached up and straightened her ponytail as he waited for her to continue. “We won.”

“Oh, thank God. That’s what I had been wondering about. All night, I sat here, wringing my hands, praying that we’d pull it out.”

“Okay, you sarcastic jerk,” she said, laughing. “I know that’s not what you wanted to know. I talked to Sammy, all right?” She looked up at him, saw more interest there, and then dropped her eyes. “But… I don’t think….” Beth stopped herself from completing the sentence having not yet come to grips with the reality of what she was about to say. She’d had a crush on the guy for over three years. Was she really just about to voice the fact that it had all been in vain? She swallowed hard, reached for her soda, took a long swallow, and peered off into the distance, into the darkness between their houses.

“Beth? Did something happen?”

The concern in her friend’s voice had her head shooting back up to meet his eyes. He was concerned. There was no doubt about it, and she appreciated it. She just didn’t know how to explain. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Do you want to talk about it, or not? I mean, if you don’t, that’s okay.”

“I’m sure you’ll hear eventually,” she muttered.

Ryan turned around and looked over each shoulder for a moment before saying, “From who? Mrs. Wheeler? She doesn’t talk much.”

Beth burst out laughing, imagining him having this same sort of conversation with his elderly neighbor whose house sat on the other side of his. “Well, no, I guess not from her. But you talk to other people, don’t you?”

“Sure, sometimes, whenever someone remembers to call me. But I doubt anyone who was at the game will be doing that anytime soon. Still… if you don’t want to talk about it….”

“No, it wasn’t really the game I thought you’d hear about. I mean—it wasn’t anything that has to do with baseball I thought you’d hear about.” She took a deep breath and tried again. “There’s a new girl. And she’s… gorgeous. I figured you’d hear about her, that’s all.”

Ryan’s eyebrows shot up, and for a moment, the flames inside of her began to flicker to life again. Was that interest on his face? Would he care about Halley the way that Sammy had? Beth swallowed back her jealousy and imagined it was more curiosity than anything else. “Who is she?” he asked, his eyebrows puckering again.

“I’m not sure. She just said her name was Halley.” She sighed loud enough her mom might hear downstairs and bang on the floor with a broomstick. “I was talking to Sammy, and she came out of the shadows, asking if he wanted some advice about how to ask Carly out.”

The curiosity morphed into confusion. “Say what now? Why would this Halley person know that Sammy likes Carly?”

“Well, he asked me if I would go out with him because he said that Michael and Robby were giving him a hard time, saying no one would date him. And I guess he thought, surely homely, chunky-thighed, sweaty Beth Monroe would jump at the chance to go out with anyone, so he asked me if I would go out with him to prove a point to his friends.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Ryan’s voice filled the void between them. Under his breath, he mumbled, “That asshole.” Raising his voice and his face to meet hers, he continued. “I’m so sorry, Beth. I told you—he’s an ass hat.”

She couldn’t help but giggle a bit at his proclamation; he was sweet to be so offended on her behalf. It almost made the pain go away. But not quite. “Anyway,” she shrugged, “Halley stepped into the conversation and said he didn’t carry himself in such a way that the other girls would date him. He needed to be more sure of himself.”

“Clearly, this Halley person doesn’t know Sammy Burk well. I’ve never met a more confident prick.”

“Have you met Shane?”

“Yeah, but that’s different. Your brother has something to be confident about. Sammy Burk is… nobody. He’s not a talented athlete, he’s not that smart, and even though he’s in the choir, he really can’t sing. I just think… he’s overrated, mostly by himself.”

“Well, Halley would disagree with you, apparently, because she led him over to the popular girls, and by the time we left, Carly was hanging off of him like a piece of ripe fruit on a vine.”

Her analogy had him chuckling, and Beth glanced up, wondering what kind of fruit her friend might be imagining. “So glad I amuse you.”

“Oh, Bethy! I’m sorry,” Ryan proclaimed. “But… I have to say… I think this Halley girl did you a favor. Maybe that was her intention, you know? To spare you.”

Beth scoffed. “It’s obvious you didn’t get a look at her or her attitude. The last thing a girl like that would do is concern herself with the likes of me.”

When she glanced back over, he was shaking his head. “If you had a tenth of your brother’s confidence….”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Ry, but I am none of those things either—not an athlete, not that smart, and I am also in the choir but never asked to do any solos or anything.”

“Beth—I’ll give you the ‘not an athlete’ bit, but you’re one of the smartest people I know, and your voice is beautiful. I can hear you when no one else can, you know?” The comment made her blush. “I often think your problem probably has more to do with your brain than anything else.”

“What do you mean?” Beth sat up straight, pulling on the windowsill so that she was as close as possible without tumbling to her death.

He was shrugging now, like he wished he could take it back. “It’s just… I’ve heard a few guys at school comment that you’re pretty, but you’re so smart. They think… they can’t relate to you.”

“Great.” Beth crossed her arms and tried to take another slice of bad news without losing her ability to breathe. “Do I walk around like I think I’m smarter than everyone else?”

“No, not anymore.”

Her eyes bore through him, and Ryan was meeting her gaze now, even though she knew he was uncomfortable. “I used to?”

“Do you not remember the first thing I ever said to you?”

A sigh escaped her lips. “I don’t think that’s the first thing you ever said to me… but, yeah, I remember what you said in seventh grade science.” It had stung then, and it stung now to think about it. She’d wanted so badly to be his friend, and when their teacher had paired them up for a lab, she’d hardly been able to look at him for some reason. Then he’d asked that simple, character-defining question. She shook her head. “But you said I’m not like that anymore. And… even then, I don’t think I was. I told you at the time I didn’t think I was smarter than you, I just didn’t know what to say, and you took that to mean I was stuck up.”

“I know, Beth, but when you spend eight years with the same ninety kids, and most of them have gotten the impression that you’re quiet because you think you’re too smart to talk to any of them, sometimes it’s hard to erase. And I think some of the kids in the other grade levels in high school have sort of gotten the same idea.”

She was about to ask him what he thought she should do about it when the sound of laughter from the street had both of their heads turning. It sounded like a small girl giggling, and then the chuckle of an older male. Beth’s head swiveled back to look at Ryan. “What the hell?”