Chapter 69: Chapter 69

After listening to Nancy's narration, Anna was sure that Nancy was madly in love with Jason but might just not admit it.

'I have listened to your story and it is a very sad one but the fresh heartbreak you are currently experiencing is not about that cheat Rodney. It is about Jason and it is because of your fear of losing him especially to this pregnant mistress of his.

But I am confused. There seem to be something, you are not telling me. Has Jason expressed any feelings for you?'

'What has that got to do with anything?'

'Okay, so he has. And you? Have you told him how you feel?'

'Why should I? I told him that I refuse to be a play thing for any rich man.

I was once inadvertently the play thing of one rich fool but not again.

'You mean he told you that he loved you and you just assumed that he wanted you to be his play thing? How can you be so sure that is the only thing he wants from you?' Anna asked amused.

'No. That is the problem see? At least Rodney told me that he loved me though it was a lie but Jason has never said anything about love!' Nancy said surprising herself. She had not known she was going to confess all these to Anna but it was already too late to take back her words though she knew that her confidence was safe with Anna.

'Oh I see. You would prefer him telling you that he loved you even if he was lying?'

'Don't you understand? If Jason had said that he loved me, then it would have been the truth. He wouldn't lie about such things. He is not that sort of man. I have realised, working beside him that he is an honourable man'.

'Then what is the problem? What exactly did he say to you?'

'That he was attracted to me and would like to be close to me and give my child a secure environment to live in and be a father figure to him by being his uncle'.

'And is that really that bad? From there, you do not think that the feeling could progress to love? That he is attracted to you and want to be close to you despite your pregnancy is really commendable if you ask me. At least for the sake of your child, could you not just give him a chance? The journey of a million miles begins with a step. Thank goodness you just said he couldn't lie about his feelings. It means your relationship would not be based on a lie and you do not need to hear those words just yet to make you feel secure'.

'But I do. He has lots of mistresses and now with the way his ex wife is grovelling to him, it is a source of concern knowing how much he had loved her previously'.

'But do you love him?' Anna asked.

'How could you even ask? From all I have told you, isn't it pretty obvious? If I didn't, why would I care what women are in his life and especially not about Phoebe's pregnancy.

E ven if I would have considered it, what about Phoebe's pregnancy? He is an honourable man and he would do right by her. I would be disappointed if he didn't and put him in the same category as Rodney because I would not want another woman to experience the kind of abandonment which I have had to experience. And that is why I am feeling so guilty.

I want Jason to love and be faithful to me but I do not want him to abandon Phoebe in her pregnancy and I am jealous of Phoebe. Does that make sense? Maybe I am finally losing it!' Nancy wailed.

'You are fine and the feelings you are having are perfectly okay. It is because of your pure heart that you are even considering Phoebe. Others would not'.

' Do you know that before now, when I hadn't realised that I had such feelings for Jason, Phoebe had threatened me and asked me to keep away from her man. That was even before his ex wife came back into the picture. Now that she is pregnant, who knows what she would do? She now has sole rights over Jason and what do I have, his pity, charity? I want none of that. And that is why I have decided to pack away from his house. I had thought that I would wait till my baby was born but now I cannot bear the thought of seeing them together and especially now that Christmas is approaching, it would be difficult staying out of their way. It would be best for every one if I left and give birth some where else'.

'And the help you would have got from the other staff in the house when you give birth?'

'I will get a nanny or some such person'.

'Your pride is talking. Think without your pride getting into the way for once. If you avoid him at home,how would you avoid him at work?'

'I have thought about that as well. Even if I pack from the house now, I will still come to work. There is no way Phoebe would flaunt her victory at the work place. Bit I decided that as I go for maternity leave, I will not come back here but look for another place. I am a nurse. I will look for a good hospital and be a nurse there'.

'Little wonder that Mr. Campbell told me once that he had wanted you to work in the company's clinic but feared that the work would be too hectic for you and that was why he decided that you would work as his secretary. This was also decided when his former secretary suddenly died and her post was vacant.

But you know you may not find another place where you will be paid as much as you are paid here and you need it and would need it even more after the baby is born because you would be caring not only for yourself but for another human being.

Baby milk and diapers as well as other necessities a baby needs are really expensive you know'.

'I know all that but what would you have me do in this circumstance?'

'Why don't you stay till after Christmas? You could move by January if you still feel that you must leave'.

Nancy considered this. It was a brilliant plan.Somethibg good might occured before then and she wouldn't have to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving alone. It could really be lonely being alone at such a time when one was supposed to be with her family members and loved ones.

'Okay. I shall stay till after Thanksgiving. Maybe even January. I have been very selfish. I haven't even asked you about Bryan. What are you both planning for Christmas?