Chapter 2: Chapter 2

05:00am.

There was something about that particular time.

The way it glared with its red light from my digital clock, the way it reminded me that my night was over...when it had barely begun.

The way it was stuck between day and night...but the night was over and the day has started but hasn't started. The time between silent dreams and awakening reality and more than anything I wanted to exist in this time alone that barely existed.

The weekend is over and I know I can't lie in bed forever...even though somehow, I had survived crying myself to sleep and trying to hide away from reality in bed.

I had lectures today...I had to move.

I turn to look at the clock now and it read 05:01am and even though I should have expected it, the time broke my heart all over again.

29 minutes later and I am still staring at the ceiling as I had been all night after trying without result to fall asleep.

But all I could conjure was friday...

'Jay went home to see me? But this is a surprise visit, I didn't tell him I was coming over.'

'He probably just guessed since the two of you have been meeting all week.' Mrs Davidson had said, eyes studying me with concern... like I was nuts.

'All week? But this is my first time visiting this semester....'

"Urgh!" I groaned and pressed my hands on both sides of my temples, willing the memories to vanish.

I had been so stupid.

Maybe it hurts because I really should have seen it coming, but I didn't. Even as I stood up and took a shower, even as I stood in front of the mirror and packed my pitiful hair into a tight ponytail.

How could I have seen it coming?

How?

'You have this radiant beauty when you've got this innocent ponytail look going on'

Jay's voice is all I can hear, and I can't brush out the facts that I have doubts. That I can still feel his fingers touching my face, my hair.

The look in his eyes.

Jay loves me. I know it. I know he will never do this to me on purpose...right? Starting in different universities is something we are both getting used to and he just got tempted along the way. He probably hasn't called to apologize because he feels guilty.

I can't help the brief rush of excitement that I feel, knowing I've figured this all out.

It will be fine, it just has to. That is the only way this entire charade can make plausible sense... it's just a phase that will brush over and we'll get through this...

We have to.

As I make my way to the Starbucks cafe just outside the dorm, I feel more than confident.

Jay will call me.

I'll forgive him.

And then we can put this entire situation behind us.

The cafe smells of coffee, berries and caramel and I never want to leave. The place is barely full and I quickly order oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and caramel expresso Frappuccino.

Taking the booth by the window, I open the lid to my cup when I noticed the big, black book at the far end of the table. It was huge and had a thick, black leader cover. As I pulled it close to me, I realised it had a lock and life like vines that twisted around the cover, making seem like and ancient journal of secrets.

Scanning my fingers over the cover, curiosity gets the better of my and I take my hairpin and pop the lock within a minute, silently thanking the boy at camp that taught me this trick years ago.

G R I F F I N.

It was beautifully and eerily spelt or rather drawn out in precise 3 dimensional perspective with life like vines poking and twisting round every corner.

I turned the page and was mesmerized by the drawing of the strong, mythical creature...the griffin. A hybrid of the lion and eagle.

The next page held the drawing of a shadowed figure of a man in a hoodie with only the sharp, blazing eyes prominent, filled with so much anger, pain and intelligence.

Beneath the drawing was a poem;

The world corrupt, the sun blackened,

Intelligent liars with weapons sharpened,

Equality the throne, justice the crown,

Truth untold and to promises we frown,

Until a new sprout, until the sun brightens,

Then light the red flower on the justice to be enlightened.

"How beautiful." I whispered as my fingers ran over the fine calligraphy of handwritten words.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The booming male voice snapped and I shut the book with trembling guilt.

"I'm sorry,... I--"

"The hell you are." He snapped and snatched the book from my weak grasp, forcing me to look up at him.

He had slick, black messy hair of thick locks with the sides shaved, like he had been running his hands through it. He was wearing a white t shirt with black jacket and his sharp, grey eyes were spitting fire.

"How the hell did you open it?" He demanded, studying the book like he was looking for stains or scratches.

"I..um..." I muttered, toying with my hairpin and he glared at me.

"You think this is some sort of a mystery book that you can probe anyhow,"

His insolence is irritating. What was his problem anyway? The work was beautiful and I didn't see a single secretive aspect, so why was he getting so worked up?

Looking at him now, I doubted he was the owner of all that art and if I had the thought of complimenting it, that ship has long sailed.

"I said I was sorry, alright?" I say to him now, annoyed.

"Yeah, you can go ahead and shove it." He said and snapped the lock in place.

Getting up, I stood up to his face even though he was at most a feet taller, I say,

"And you can quit throwing tantrums over a drawing diary." and with that, I stormed out.

***

Call me Jay. Please, just call me.

I'd been sitting in the library for over 30 minutes now with my laptop displaying my email account in front of me, while I scrolled through my phone for past calls and messages.

Nothing.

No recent texts or messages.

No emails or DM's.

No IM's.

Nada.

I felt my heart quicken in pace as the building reality pounded on my subconscious to accept it.

But deep down, I am almost sure that things will sort out.

It has to.

It just has to.

Jay is my first boyfriend and we've been together for 3 years...it won't just crumble now.

It can't.

Do I call him?

"Problem?" An old lady asks as she stood well above me, holding a stack of books.

"I think the wifi signal is out."

It has to be the wifi.

"It gets unstable here dear. Why don't you come back later and I'll alert the works department."

As I listen to the old lady's words, I want to throw a tantrum and wail in tears.

I can't wait any longer.

I just want my Jay back.

"Yes, ma'am."  Is all I say as I pack my stuff and leave, phone in hand.

Suddenly my phone buzzed and as I eagerly looked at the screen, I could practically feel the blood rush out of my face as I recognized the caller ID.

Mum.

No. No way, she does NOT get to do this to me again.  She does not get to waltz in and take over my situation and arrange the puzzle prices in her idea of 'solving' it.

I pulled out my inhaler from my pocket, stuffed it in my mouth and squeezed while I stared at the phone screen, wishing for the name to vanish.

I pocketed my phone and grabbed the pillar for support when the call ended.

"April, are you alright?" I recognize Gretchen's voice before I see her rushing towards me from across the field.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." She says, grasping my face in her hands and for the life of me I will never understand why she cares so much...or if this is just another face of pity.

"I'm just a little tired."

"Have you had anything to eat?"

I shake my head slowly and before I know it, Gretchen is leading me across the field towards the restaurant just outside the school's premises.

"I'm not hungry." I say defiantly as I try yo pull away from her grasp but she only held on tighter and turned to face me.

"April, it's 2 o clock in the afternoon. You fainted yesterday and you haven't had a bite all day. You're eating lunch with me whether you want to or not."

Within a few minutes, we are seated at the restaurant and Gretchen has already placed our orders.

I look at my phone one more time: 3 missed class from mum and nothing from Jay. Sighing defeatedly, I dropped the phone on the table and covered my face with my hands.

"You've been staring at your phone all day, what could you be expecting that has got you so worked up?"

Gretchen asks and as she grabs my phone.

"It's nothing." I mutter.

Our chicken sandwiches and salad came a couple of minutes later and as I grabbed my fork, my phone buzzes in Gretchen's hands.

"Please just shut it off. The last person I want to talk to is my mum."

Gretchen frowned and stared closely at the screen,

"But it's not your mum calling, it's some guy called Jay."

And my fork dropped.