Chapter 19: Chapter 19

April's POV

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ethan asks when I'm done eating and I keep staring at my empty plate on the table, wondering where to begin.

How to begin.

Should I even begin at all?

Am I ready to talk about this with him?

After we had left the Centre, Trevor had gone home and he had brought me to a restaurant and successfully persuaded me to eat lunch.

Somehow I know that if I say no, he wouldn't bother me about it. Still, I want to tell him...but is it safe? Am I relying too much on him too fast?

I look up at him now and his grey eyes are searching mine, waiting for me.

Tell him.

Don't.

You always end up seeing him again anyway....and he'll find out.

"April?" He asks and there it is. My last doubt fading away at the way he calls my name.

"You don't have to tell me if--"

"When I was eight years, my parents had a divorce." I begin and the words continue to just keep going,

"My dad had custody of me and my mum had custody of Ginger...my sister. He was a pilot and he flew to so many places. Both big and small, beautiful and messy. He even brought an Egyptian artifact once." I say with a shrug and a small laugh at the memory of dad telling me he had no idea what it was but it looked good.

"He would sing to me at night before bed whenever he was around but when he was on a trip, I stayed with my aunt until he returned. So one day, about 4 years of living with him, he left for the airport and just...never came back. He said he would be right there with me when I wake up, but when I did wake up he hadn't returned. So I had turned on the TV and..."

My voice breaks at the end and I look up to stop the tears but they spill out anyway.

Ethan's eyes never leave my face and slowly, he holds my hand in his on the table, giving me a safe kind of feeling.

"It's okay, you can stop if you--"

"No, I want to say this. He had died in a plane crash and I had to go back with living with my mum. Staying with her before the divorce was normal, she was great. Ginger was great, we were all good. But after my dad died, she just seemed to be very partial and it was like I was never her daughter. Ginger was first priority in everything and I wasn't going to let it bother me, but then every guy I had ever met or liked seemed to prefer Ginger the moment they saw her. And then I got into my first college and met Jay."

I take a deep breath, staring at the table where Ethan's hand in on mine.

"He didn't appeal to me at first but then he had met Ginger also and he still hung around me. I was so excited and overwhelmed that for the first time, someone--"

"Preferred you to your sister." He mutters, frowning at the realisation and I nod.

"So I agreed to date him and then our houses were in close proximity so we mostly met at home because I was too busy trying to get a scholarship here and too busy maintaining it when I got it. But then I decided to just sacrifice some time for him and just pay him a surprise visit and..."

My voice cracks again when I remember going to his house and then being directed to my house where he was with Ginger...in the bedroom.

My head is on Ethan's chest in an instant as he holds me close to him, and I close my eyes. Letting the overwhelming feeling of him wash over me, even though I know we're just playing this out and I shouldn't give in.

But I do.

I have no idea that my tears have stopped until Ethan touches my face and lifts my chin up to face him.

"Better now?" He asks and I nod.

"You are never going sky diving again." I tell him and he laughs as he helps me up then drops some money for the food.

"I think I should go back to my dorm." I say to him once we're outside the restaurant and he freezes, turning to me.

"You want to go back?"

"It's not like I'm permanently staying in your place, I have a room. Plus I can't keep wearing your clothes." I say to him.

"I'm not complaining." He says with a shrug.

"Don't be greedy. I have stayed in your house for over five days now." I tell him and he gives me a babyish look.

"We agreed to just play it out, right? So just let me stay in my dorm for some time." I plea and he pretends to be deep in thought.

"Fine. But first, I have to show you something." He says as we get into his car.

"What is it?"

"Put your seat belt on, please." He says, looking at me with eyes that don't reveal what he is up to.

"Not until you tell me." I say defiantly but he doesn't reply but instead reaches over and slips the seat belt across my body, his hands briefly brushing my breasts and I bite my lip.

"You want us to come back safely, stop doing that." He says, his face inches away from mine.

Heat rises up my neck with the intensity of his words and I look away to distract myself while he turns on the car.

"Ready?" He says to me and I raise a brow.

"As long as you're not taking me to a place where you can slice off my neck, then yes." I say to him and he chuckles a little before speeding off.

I grab the door for support as he drives off the campus proximity and speeds off into the highway then out of the city.

"Oh my God." I say as the wind tosses my hair and brushes against my face, giving me the most spontaneous feeling ever.

I can't help but laugh as Ethan laughs too and guns the engine, making the car go faster.

"You could get arrested for this!" I yell to him over the rushing air and he just laughs again.

"I know!" He says as he turns for the briefest moment and winks at me. But at that moment, the world had paused, then resumed in slow motion and zoomed back to speeding reality.

The road is clear and empty, so I do something I have never done in my life and I will advise my future children not to do.

I unbuckle the seat belt and stretch out the window from my waist up. The breeze is hitting me full speed now and I stretch out my hands.

"Woooooooooooo!!!!" I scream, closing my eyes and letting the breeze give me the familiar exhilarating feeling that made me feel better.

The ride goes on for another 5 minutes before Ethan finally drives back into the city and to my dorm.

My hair is a tousled disaster when I get out of the car and I try to pat it down while he rounds the car to stand in my front.

"That was so terrifying." I say with a laugh and he smiles.

"Good." He says and puts his hand around my waist.

"So have I convinced you to stay yet?" He asks and I make a face.

"Was that a trick?"

"Did it work?" He asks, pulling me closer.

"Maybe." I say, even though I want to jump back into the car with him.

Playing it out.

Playing it out.

Playing it out.

"Do I have to beg?" He murmurs, his face a breath away.

"What is your version of begging?"

Oh, God. Am I flirting?

I am definitely getting a whole sense of courage.

Or hormomes.

"It's very dangerous." He whispers and I bite my lip to hold my surging sensation.

"Dammit, April." He says in a deep whisper before his lips are on mine and I kiss him back, knowing I have to get into my dorm before I end up in the car.

But I don't want to.

God, I don't want to.

He presses me closer and kisses me harder and I know this is where I grab hold of that fading will power before I grab hold of him.

Slowly, I end the kiss and try to catch my breath while his eyes are still on me.

"Did it work now?" He asks and I pull away from his embrace before I drop dead.

"Goodbye Ethan." I say and head for my dorm, not wanting to look back.

*****

I put my pillow over my head, trying to focus on sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep, April.

"It's not going to work."Gretchen says to me from where she is seated at the table, using her laptop.

I ignore her smirk as I clutch the pillow to myself like I'm spooning it and shut my eyes.

Good thoughts.

Good calming thoughts.

Fluffy clouds.

Soft breeze.

I don't know how long I shut my eyes but all I see is grey. Intense and beautiful.

Groaning, I put the pillow back in the normal position and Gretchen laughs.

"I really missed you, April but I won't lie to you, your bed is missing a comforter." She jokes and I throw the pillow at her.

"I'm just tired." I tell her but she just tosses the pillow back.

"April, you've been here for just 3 days now and you've gone through this same process. You made me play my ukulele for you for the past two nights." She says and I frown.

"I like hearing you play." I defend and she raises a brow at me.

I stick my tongue out at her and shut my eyes and try again to sleep with another popular technique.

Counting sheep.

One sheep.

Two sheep.

Three sheep.

Four sheep in a field with grey clouds and a Griffin swoops in.

"You're smiling." Gretchen says and I open my eyes.

"It was working."

"No, it wasn't. You know, it's not that late. I mean it's almost twelve but you can still go over." She says, studying me and I groan.

"But don't you see, Gretchen? I spend just five days with him and I can't sleep alone. That's dangerous."

"It's called feelings, April. You can't keep hiding."

"But I'm not hiding, I'm just taking my time. Its too early to be like this."

"It's been two months since you met him. Life is too short to complicate, so hold your breath, trust your instincts and just jump in...and you might just float."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you swim. Its called living." She says and I sigh as I sit up, pondering her words.

"I'm going to regret this." I mutter as I get out of bed and slip into my robe.

***

Ethan's POV

12:15 am.

Maybe if I call her and hear her voice, then I might just succeed in sleeping tonight without pressing the pillow close to my face and breathing her scent from it.

So fast.

It had all happened too darned fast and now I can't even sleep.

I grab my phone and scroll the contact list for her name. When I spot it, my finger hovers over her name.

"No." I mutter and drop my phone. She asked to stay away for a while.

Playing it out.

Fucking rule.

There shouldn't be words like that.

I stare at the ceiling and wait for exhaustion to take over when I hear it.

Is that...knocking?

"What the--" I mutter as I stare at the clock.

12:20 am.

Who could that be?

I head down the stairs as the person knocks again and I get to the door, unlock it and open.

"April."

"Ethan." She says the same time I call her name.

Is she really here?

"Is everything alright?" I ask, panic and excitement battling within me, whether to grab her close or check her for injuries.

Observe the situation.

She nods and says,

"Yes." Then frowns suddenly and shakes her head.

"No."

I observe her confused eyes for clues.

"Well..um...I miss you." She says queitly and I blink at her words.

"Can I--" She begins again but excitement wins over panic in my head and I grab her and kiss her like it was the last time, shutting her up.

"Stay with me." I say when the kiss is over and she nods.

"Okay." She says and I pull her in, shutting the door as we head to the bedroom.

Author's Note

No. The story is so not over. I hope my book still captures your interest and please vote and comment. :D

Thanks for reading so far, I honestly appreciate.