Chapter 37: Chapter 37
~Talon's POV~
I raced through the woods, paws barely touching the ground as I darted past trees in the direction of Jay's territory, chanting a particular mantra in my mind.
"I'm not cursed!"
"I'm not cursed!"
"I'm not cursed!"
I didn't have any time to spare, I had to get Jay's forgiveness even if it meant I had to grovel.
I came to a screeching halt when a huge blonde furred Lion stepped into my way just as I was about crossing the border.
Reaching to his mind link, I waited for him to accept my request to convey my words through his mind link.
"Leo, please move aside." I thought to him and he growled in response.
"What the fuck do you want?!!" he thought back angrily and I sighed, giving him a pleading look.
"No access to Crescent Moon, Rex leonum's orders." he continued with finality.
"Please?" I tried and he growled dangerously.
"Haven't you done enough damage?" he asked in annoyance and my heart hurt at his aggressiveness, he used to be a good friend of mine.
"I didn't come here with the intention to cause damage." I explained patiently.
"Then what did you come here for?" he asked relaxing slightly.
"Well, I was thinking something along the lines of grovelling if I must to get Jay to forgive me and maybe after that hopefully seduce him into bed with me." I replied honestly and he gave me a shocked look before his huge fangs showed in what I assumed to be a grin as he burst into loud laughter, I winced at the loud sound in my head, rolling my eyes when he stopped then continued laughing again.
"Interesting, in that case, I believe I can make an exception just this once, in return, when y'all do take a tumble beneath the sheets, say if you could put in a good word for me, I think I'll shoot myself if I have to run one more patrol, I've been going at this for months." he complained aggrieved and I laughed softly before nodding, he grinned again before disconnecting the link, with a short nod of approval to me, he turned around, darting back within the cover of the trees.
I grinned in relief, my grin cut short as anxiety creeped in again and I swallowed down my fear, before continuing on my way to the pride house.
Getting to the edge of the forest, I shifted to my human form, pulling on some spare pants from one of the trees, before jogging the rest of the way.
"You must have a death wish." a deadly voice sounded from within Jay's office just as I lifted my hand to knock, I froze,my heart beating loudly, as fear coursed through my veins, I bit my lip trying to still my frantically beating heart as I pushed open the door and went in.
I stood still for a few minutes, unable to muster the courage to speak, he didn't even look up at me, still typing on his laptop, I sighed in devastation, not knowing where or how to start, I mean how did you tell your mate you have caused them so much pain for five years just because you were scared of a so called curse that predicted you being with them would cause them pain, I mean I ended up doing just that either ways.
"Jay...." I began, he frowned in distaste but didn't look up at me, putting aside his laptop and grabbing a file pushing it towards me without a glance in my direction.
"The renovation is complete, all files associated are within, you can discuss the rest of the details with the project director of shadow constructions, his contact details are also within, have a good day." he said in a dismissive tone before continuing his work on his laptop.
"I....I'm not here for that." I stuttered hesitantly and he hummed, pointing a hand towards the door.
"Let yourself out." he said still not looking at me, I growled lowly as tears of frustration began slipping out my eyes, frustration at my foolish actions, frustration at the fact that even I didn't believe I deserved forgiveness, frustration at my current lack of words to express how sorry I was.
He sniffed, before looking up at me, his brows furrowing in confusion at my tears, although his gaze was cold, I still picked out the worry in them despite him trying desperately to hide it, I stared at him for a while, before moving across the room with purposeful strides, before he could say a word, I had rounded the desk and slammed my lips down on his, if I couldn't tell him, then I'd show him.
My kiss was passionate, conveying as much of my feelings as I could, he didn't kiss me back but I didn't let that faze me, as I pulled away before lowering myself to my knees, his eyes widened at my actions.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" he asked in alarm and I bit my lips, even as my tears flowed faster.
"Jay.... I.... I've been such a fool, a jerk and a horrible mate, friend and person in general, I do have reasons for my actions but they could never even come close to justifying the amount of hurt I've caused you, rejecting you five years ago and being a douchebag for the past five years and even when the moon goddess blessed us with another chance, in the form of our mate Ana, I still kept up with my stupidity, hurting the both of you immensely, nothing I say now will ever be enough to explain how sorry I am, I'm so so so sorry Jay... I...I love you... I love Ana as well... and you both mean the whole world to me and I hope someday you'll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me, I know I don't deserve it and I never will, but I'll do anything and everything to win back your trust and hopefully your love as well, if you'd give me the chance, however I totally understand if you want nothing to do with me, I won't give up though but I'll leave for now, till you're able to bear the sight of me... I love you Jaylen." I said with complete and total honesty, every word coming from my heart, wiping my tears I stood up and turned to leave.
"Wait!" he said just as I got to the door, I stopped and turned around, he still had a confused look on his face, probably too scared to hope I was being serious.
"Is this some kind of joke, because believe me Talon it's not funny." he said, looking apprehensively at me, I sighed before giving him a look.
"Jaylen, you know me well enough to know when I'm serious." I said softly and he frowned staring at me for a while before shaking his head.
"No Talon, you're wrong, I don't know you, I used to think I did but over the past five years, I realized how wrong I was." he replied and my heart ached at his words.
"Jay.... Forgive me." I said sadly, leaning my head down to hide the tears streaking down my cheeks. He was quiet for a while, just silently watching me before he finally spoke.
"Why Lon, just why?" he asked in a defeated tone and my already shattered heart broke into more pieces, as I bit my lips in shame.
"I...it all started a month after you disappeared...." I began in a shaky voice, narrating what happened to him from the time Kyle's dad found out about the lien incassable, the unbreakable bond.
Once I finished my story, I was sobbing silently, Jay stared at me sadly for a while before sighing, walking up to me, he pulled me into a comforting hug and I broke down in his arms.
"I killed him Jay.." I choked out and he growled lowly at my words before pulling away from me and gripping my shoulders with a frown on his face.
"You foolish, foolish wolf, so you spent all this time blaming yourself for something you had nothing to do with, when even Kyle has moved on, you torture yourself over a death you definitely did not cause." he said angrily, glaring at me and I sighed.
"But I did have something to do with it, if I hadn't used my Alpha command...." I started to argue but he cut me off.
"...them Kyle would still be bonded to him, living an unhappy and devastated life." he completed and I sighed again.
"Notwithstanding I used my position as Alpha for selfish reasons, I abused..."I tried again but again he cut me off.
"Notwithstanding you used your Alpha command just as it should be used, you used it to protect your friend from an obsessed warlock, your friend who just so happens to be a member of your pack, your job as Alpha is to protect your pack members, and you did just that, he cast a love spell on Kyle, tricked him into an unbreakable bond, almost ruined his life because of his selfish love, he was the enemy, and had he survived committing such a heinous crime against our friend I would have been sorely disappointed in you, my only regret right now is that I wasn't there to kill him myself and that I didn't know about this soon enough to give you a mother fucking award." he said with all seriousness and I stared at him in shock, my heart fluttering within me, how could I have pushed away such a perfect mate?, I must have been crazy.
"I'm still disappointed in you, Kyle is my friend too and neither of you felt it'd be wrong to keep this from me?, even if you kept it from everyone else, at least I should have known, I know I wasn't there but I would never have left if I had a choice, my Lion was so out of control I had to be quarantined, it all happened so suddenly I had no time to inform you, I thought Mom and Dad would've told you but I guess they were so busy it had probably skipped their mind, that year away from you and everyone I knew and loved was hell for me, I knew I hadn't informed you but I had believed you'd trust me, if you had at least told me about this, curse or not we would have looked for a way out.... together." he said sadly, I looked away in shame.
"I'm sorry Jay, I'm sorry." I said, my voice thick with guilt and shame, even as I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, the metallic tasting liquid filling my mouth, he sighed, lifting his hand to my lower lip and freeing it from the tight grip of my teeth.
"You've always had the habit of purposely inflicting pain on yourself whenever you did something wrong, feeling you deserved it, I remember Bane and Mira always complained to my parents about it, because of this they had always been unable to punish you because before they would come up with something fitting, you'd have already done something more terrible to yourself in your guilt, old habits die hard and I believe you did same thing in this case, more than actually believing his curse, I believe you rather unconsciously let yourself believe it, to punish yourself, because you believed yourself to be the cause of James's death." he said, I sobbed quietly at his words, somehow knowing he was right.
He sighed sadly, pulling me into his arms again and hugging me tightly as I sobbed into his chest.
"Such a fool, how can I bear to hold a grudge against you, when you've already done so much damage to yourself." he whispered softly, placing a soft kiss on my neck, my heart fluttered at his words and my wolf pushed past the mind block I had placed on him, yipping excitedly, knowing our mate had forgiven us.
Pulling away I searched his eyes, smiling widely to see the previous coldness had left them.
"Kiss me!" I asked with a pout and he stared at me in shock, before bursting into laughter.
"Who would have thought that the highly respected Alpha of Crescent Moon could be so cute." he said chuckling and I growled playfully, he raised his hands up in surrender, before pulling me to him, dipping his head down and capturing my lips, giving me a heart stopping, toe curling kiss.