Chapter 73: Chapter 73

Rakia woke up at three in the morning with a rumbling stomach. She gently pushed Dashtan’s arm around her stomach and moved from the room to the kitchen. She stopped by the granite countertop and yawned before resuming her steps to make food. He then opened the fridge and looked at what was currently inside. The clusters of red globe grapes tempted her to pull two grapes from the stem and pop them into her mouth one by one and go back to looking at the other food. The frozen potatoes managed to make her decide what she was going to eat. Rakia left the four-door refrigerator open to get a plate, then picked up the frozen potato still wrapped in its plastic wrapper that was placed inside the transparent drawer of the refrigerator. Sometimes, she arranged the contents of this refrigerator but more often Mrs. Hunt did it, she also thought about going shopping and adding some of the groceries she needed. Given that lately she would often be hungry and eat a lot.

Before frying the potatoes that were still in a half-frozen state, Rakia chose to drink a warm drink. She made the milk she had been drinking lately and then took a medium-sized and rather tall glass jar filled with barbeque-flavored cassava chips and munched on the snack while sitting on the high chair of the granite table with her warm milk. The crunchy sound she made from munching the chips could be heard in her lonely kitchen. Accompanying her erratic daydreams.

She thought about her future. Wondered what if Dashtan didn’t tell her he loved her and she had to hold her tongue and not tell him about her pregnancy. The thought made her heart ache. But a deal is a deal. If it had to happen he had to survive and continue living even though in the end the child he was currently carrying had to be born with his parents’ imperfect status. The thought of her child being broken home since birth again was able to make her instantly stressed and feel sick. Rakia immediately got off the high chair and ran to the sink and vomited there.

“Habibti... Are you okay?”

Rakia was surprised by Dashtan suddenly coming and standing not far from her at the moment as she turned around after washing her mouth and dissolving her vomit with tap water.

“Yes, I’m fine. “Rakia replied without looking at the man. Dashtan walked up to her and looked at her intently.

“Let’s go to the doctor, shall we?” Dashtan’s offer instantly made Rakia raise her face and her eyes flashed a look of panic.

“N-no need, I’m... I’m fine, maybe it’s the milk.” Rakia tried to find an excuse. Dashtan frowned and asked, “Milk?” Rakia’s eyeballs moved restlessly.

“I drank milk and ate chips, maybe it was a bad combination.” She was still trying to cover her true condition.

“I’m going to drink,” said Rakia who quickly passed Dashtan’s line of sight. She drank quite a bit of water and then waited for the reaction of the water to clear up her sudden headache. Fortunately, Dashtan quickly caught her body and became her support. The man sighed then carried his wife back into the room. He then laid her down on the bed in the section where Rakia slept.

“I’ll call the doctor in the morning,” Dashtan said looking at Rakia who closed her eyes and occasionally frowned and massaged her temple area.

“No need I’m fine.”

“Rakia... Don’t be stubborn I know you’re hiding something. Admit it or I’ll try to find out myself and I’ll definitely get the answer within 24 hours.” Dashtan’s threat was at least able to shake Rakia from keeping her secret.

“I can take medicine, no need for a doctor.” It’s not Rakia if she doesn’t have a winning line to deflect every attack that comes her way. Dashtan chuckled and started to get unhappy with the woman’s attitude.

“If you won’t talk, I’ll find out myself.”

Rakia immediately grabbed Dashtan’s hand even though she was blindfolded she knew where the man was.

“Hey... It’s nothing don’t worry too much. Come on, come here, I need your hug,” Rakia said trying to distract Dashtan from the man’s annoyance that she was starting to feel. Dashtan got up from where he was and joined Rakia on the bed. Lying next to the woman, Rakia turned her position to face Dashtan and buried her face in the man’s chest. Dashtan’s sturdy arms wrapped around her while their waist to legs were covered by the blanket.

“Can I ask you about something?” Rakia opened the subject.

“What do you want to ask?” Dashtan responded.

“What do I mean to you?”

The question created a moment of silence between them. Floating like a cloud in the sky.

“Everything. You’re all that matters to me now and hopefully forever.” Dashtan’s answer did not give Rakia enough to believe in.

“Do you feel the signs of falling in love?”

Dashtan smiled at the question that he found ridiculous.

“Do you know the signs? Because I’ve forgotten about them myself.” Rakia twisted the t-shirt Dashtan was wearing on him chest with her index finger in a circular pattern.

“They say the signs of falling in love include, you want to be with her all the time, you don’t want her to leave and be away from you, you need her to complete your soul with her attitude. You feel internally bound to her and if you let go it will hurt so much, the pain can last a lifetime.”

Hearing that Dashtan sighed.

“I feel that for you. I also feel pain when you are hurt and sadness when you are sad. Happy when you’re happy too. I want your time and life to be only for me. I want you to be with me all the time even throughout our life in this world, if necessary I want us to be together until the other life later. I want to share everything with you including my secrets. I want us to support each other, be each other’s support, be each other’s clothes. I want to be the best friend you’ve ever had.”

Rakia smiled at all of the man’s wishes that struck her.

“Is this a declaration of love?” Rakia tested.

“Do you think so?” Rakia rolled her eyes. Sometimes she forgot Dashtan could keep up with her with him tongue.

“How would I know? That’s why I’m asking,” Rakia replied a little curtly. Dashtan chuckled.

“If Dalilah asked you to forgive her and return to her, would you accept?”

“I’ve said this many times, Habibti... It’s only the past that I’m trying to put where it belongs, my past. Right now there is you who gives me more hope for a happier future. Our marriage is only until my father secures my position to replace him in parliament. Only until the middle of this year, the end of this year at the most.”

Rakia sighed loudly. To her it was already long enough. But compared to her agreement with Dashtan, it was much longer, three years.

“Either way, both Dalilah and I will be released when the time comes. I don’t know who will come first, it’s up to you. If you choose one of them, make sure you’ve really made up your mind to keep her.”

Silence drifted between them again. Rakia was getting sleepy and was about to fall asleep.

“Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up in the morning.” Dashtan’s words were the last words she heard before crossing back into dreamland.