Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Lennox paced around, looking at the message he'd sent to Sophia after deliberating over it for two blood-curdling hours. He stared at the messages after more minutes passed. It snowed that it had been read, so why wasn't she replying.

He stared at the phone as if he had the power to make a message appear. What was he expecting tho, after what he'd said to her in his office, he didn't doubt that Sophia would ignore him and become more professional, which he didn't want her to be at all?

Lennox dropped the phone and dragged his hand through his hair. He didn't understand why he was always so hesitant, second-guessing everything when it came to his body and his heart craving. He wanted Sophia, but he didn't want to want her. He could always use the card that he didn't want to end up destroying her like with the others in his life but looking deeper, what he was really afraid of Was getting hurt again, he dreaded the time Sophia would realize just like Melissa that he wasn't worth loving. He'd wear her out, she'd want to leave and he would get clingy even when he knew he shouldn't, and then what... Another accident.

So why couldn't he stop, why had he sent the text even tho he wanted to distance himself from Sophia because Sophia was even more volatile for him than Melissa had been. He couldn't think straight when Sophia stared at him, touched him, or smiled at him, and he couldn't resist the urge to protect her against all hurt, even tho he was the one doing all the hurting.

Couldn't he just be normal, why was it so hard to be lovable, Or unselfish. Even his parents only showed interest in him because of what he could bring to the table. They didn't want him around, but the feeling was mutual, so that was that.

Lennox growled low in his throat, flinging the pillow on the sofa at the wall, before sinking into it. "I just want to be fucking normal. I just want to love and be loved. Is that fucking hard to ask for". He roared Into the empty room, his voice echoing back to him.

******

Sophia took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and stepped out of the elevator, and came face to face with Ivan. Sophia's gaze slipped to the box he was carrying which contained all his stuff before she stared back at him, noticing the bruises on his face, his nose was a little cracked. The memory of the party reared up its head, making her nauseous.

Ivan shuffled his feet as he cleared his throat.

"Hey boss... I was waiting for you. I thought you weren't going to show up for work today".

Sophia made to walk past him and he blocked her part, his eyes blown wide in worry.

"Please... Please I'm sorry for what happened that night. I didn't know what I was thinking and I'd had some drinks so everything just happened so fast... Please forgive me, it's just because I've loved you for so long yet you won't even look at me" he begged.

"Those excuses you're making have been overused Ivan, so please just spare me the trauma. I didn't look at you cause I didn't like you in that way, you were just a colleague to me. You aren't the only one I'd rejected, do you see any of them out here trying to rape me for it. You are not normal Ivan, you need to see a psychiatrist" Sophia said, her anger getting the best of her.

Ivan hung his head. "You're right and I'm sorry. But you can't hate me over something that didn't even happen. I already got fired, isn't that enough punishment".

Sophia muttered under her breath and leveled her gaze with his. "No it's not enough Ivan, because If no one had been there to stop you, you'd have gone through with it, you'd have ruined my life and made me a victim and when or if I try to get justice, you'll just justify your actions by saying I wanted it and that's why I followed you into the room... You're sick Ivan, and you should be ashamed of your actions. If you want my forgiveness, then try to leave a decent life and not go about trying to rape those who don't love you back."

Sophia said and walked past him, her blood literally boiling in her veins.

"It's because of Lennox you won't consider me right" Ivan shouted after she and Sophia whipped back to face him incredulously.

"This is not about Lennox Ivan" she shouted, frustration making her snap. "this is about you being a shitty person and I think you need to spend some time in rehab since all I said just now went out through your left ear. I can't believe this!" she muttered and walked away from him, resisting the urge to shake or slap some sense Into him.

****

Sophia sighed as she pulled the plastic cup of smoothie from her bag, glancing at Lennox's office which was empty at the moment because he had an emergency meeting he'd had to go for. She'd been going back and forth all day trying to decide if she should just stop with the drink or go ahead with it since she'd been getting him drinks even before he rejected her.

Sophia winced at the thought, grimacing as she stood up from her desk and walked toward his office.

Sophia took a deep breath, pushed the door open, and stepped into Lennox's space. It smelled like him and she found herself taking greedy gulps of air as she walked toward his desk. Sophia dropped the smoothie, her eyes darting to the flower pot she'd gotten him, the cactus was in good condition, which meant that he'd taken care of it.

Sophia smiled, despite the hollow that seemed to have settled in her chest since he'd told her that kissing her had been a mistake. She just wanted to make him happy, just wanted him to smile at her and see the world in bright colors, and not the grey gloomy world he seemed to be stuck on. She wanted to chase the ghosts of his past that haunted him, only if he'd let her. She wanted to scream and tell him that Melissa's death was not his fault.

The door opened, making her heart bang against her ribcage as she whirled to face him.

Lennox looked surprised to see her in his office too, and he paused by the door.

Sophia froze where she stood, her words dying on her lips because the way he was staring at her felt so intense, that it felt like a caress against her skin, and a shiver danced along her spine. It was haunting, raw, passionate, and angry. It was like he hated her for making him feel anything for her.

Sophia couldn't help but ogle his rugged perfection. Why won't you let me in? She asked in her head as he approached her, the air thickening the closer he got.

"Why didn't you reply to my message" he stated and Sophia's breath that she'd been holding rushed out in a whoosh of air. She'd forgotten about the text because of her little encounter with Ivan.

"Because..." She faltered because he was still staring straight into her eyes and it made her feel naked. It also felt like he was crowding against her even tho he was just one person. She stepped away from him, placing some distance between them. "Because of your rules. No personal texting unrelated to work. You also said you wanted only a working relationship" Sophia said bitterly even tho she had been aiming for neutral.

Lennox's looked puzzled before his lips quirked at the side and Sophia saw red. Did he think she was funny? It wasn't every day she went and got her heart broken for godsakes.

"You think this is funny sir Lennox?. Maybe you think I'm in love with you or something, but I'm not because it was just a stupid kiss and just so we're clear, I wasn't the one who kissed you, you initiated it, so I think that should clear up who's into who" she snapped, holding his gaze.

Lennox looked like he was thinking hard. "I'm sorry for what I said," he said, meeting her gaze and the vulnerability she saw in the depth of his eyes had her gut twisting. "I... I don't know what... I can't... I'm not" he inhaled, rubbing at his forehead and Sophia had to fight the urge to offer him comfort. What was he trying to tell her, did he feel the same way she did, and if that was true, was he trying to ask her out.

"I suck at this, but will you have lunch with me, Sophia," he asked, and Sophia's eyes widened in surprise. She had wanted him to ask her out, but not that fast. Was he going to finally return her feelings?