Chapter 60: Chapter 60

Two months later

Dua never told Shehryaar that why she tried committing suicide again. Why she killed her child with her own hands. She never revealed her husband's identity to him either. He pressed on her once to tell him everything but she had kept quiet and didn't utter a word. After that, Shehryaar never investigated her about this matter.

Shehryaar has become more busy since the shift of power. Irtaza, his elder brother, had shifted all the authority to Shehryaar and with it came responsibilities too. He was declared the new Ameer in the countryside areas. The landlords and prominent figures had to pledge their allegiances to him. The politicians of the state too had to come and sign a contract of their utmost loyalty to the blood of Shabbir Haider Syed and the next mafia don.

And as he was also the new head of the family, and every decision required his approval, he began to be at the haveli for most of the times. Also, he had shifted Sheharzaad too to the haveli for past one month. A small engagement ceremony was done and their wedding preparations had began too but the wedding date has to be decided yet as Shehryaar hasn't approved of any date yet.

All he said was, 'soon'

That 'soon' was a source of relief and at the same time nerve wracking for Sheharzaad . The dread had been eating her slowly and sensually from inside. The married life and its anticipation had her heart crippled. She was aware that with her being someone's wife would bring her alot of responsibilities. And when that someone was, Shehryaar, the man she dreaded to the core of her soul, her entire being then fulfilling her responsibilities and duties towards him would be a task itself. Especially with the mental state she had now. Where his shadow would scare her so much.

She didn't know how would he be as a husband towards her. All she saw to this date was just his dark side that made her wonder that did he have a humane part in him or not? She fervently hoped that if there was any humanity in him then it would surface up after marriage. Because now she had to marry him. At any and every cost.

Meanwhile she had gotten herself acquainted with the haveli now and its members too. She had no idea about Amna and Ahmed now. She was too afraid to ask him about this. Her day and night would spend in the room assigned to her and when she would be called for lunch and dinner, she would come, have her food and then leave.

She wasn't allowed any phone yet as he had deprived her of it and she didn't dare go against his order and try using even the telephone of haveli or ask any other person for a phone. She so wanted to talk to Amna, wanted to know about her condition. And Ahmed too.

But she just prayed for them.

Prayed that they were alive.

And that they were fine.

She so wanted to ask Shehryaar about Amna's health. To stop him in the middle of hallway, raise her eyes, look straight in those deep, dark orbs and ask confidently, 'where is my friend?'

But her courage has faded away. Even once she saw him walking in the hallway, going towards his grandfather's study and she thought of stopping him. Thought.

Yet her actions were very much counter to her thoughts. As she hid behind a door until the sound of his footsteps faded away.

These little actions of her always made her wonder about her after marriage life.

Because all she knew was,'Obeying him'

One thing, and the only thing that has been carved in her brain was to obey him. Day and night, every second, every moment, every breath she lived in the constant fear that she might do something which would make him think that she was disobeying him.

She saw him less. Very less. Because he would be busy in work. She won't see him at the dining table too as he was either working at his study, wasn't at haveli or sleeping. One night, she did come across him and she forgot to breathe the very second that led to fainting. Because she wasn't wearing her ring on her fingers as she had forgotten it in the washroom and the first thing he noticed was her finger.

She still remember how his lashes moved down and his grey orbs fixed on her finger before his eyes strolled up, fixed upon hers and then he narrowed those orbs. The sound of her fast and wild beating heart was still fresh in her ears.

The next second, she let out a hiccup as her body shivered and her hands tightly holding each other now. Her troublesome face staring at him and before she knew, she had fainted.

She was now able to understand the power of the ring that sat on her finger proudly. She wasn't the ring's owner rather that ring owned her. Because Shehryaar made her wear this ring.

She was afraid of this diamond piece sitting on her finger.

She was afraid to loose it now.

She was afraid that he might take it away from her.

Because the last time he took it away from her resulted in days which seemed like years in that cell. When she had come out of that cell, she had changed completely. Utterly.

Sheharzaad had determined to not to loose that ring ever again. That ring seemed like an assurance to her that he was not upset with her. Or she wasn't bound to get punished. And that he was still firm on his decision of marrying her and she won't be his mistress.

That was why she would check her finger continuously throughout the day to confirm that the ring was there. The paranoia would hit her round the clock. Severely.

And there would be no friend or no close acquaintance of her to whom she could express her mind, keeping it all within her. Yet she had developed an understanding with the inhabitants of the haveli.

Zahra- whom Sheharzaad met at the dinner that night; rather the night which turned her life upside down; she was a sweet, jolly girl. Twenty two years of age and was pregnant. Pursuing to become a pharmacist. She was happily married with Irtaza, who was Shehryaar's elder brother. The tension Sheharzaad had felt between them both and the vibes of intense fear that came off of Zahra, when she first met her, was not there anymore.

They both had a separate mansion where they lived though the elders were persistent to come and shift to haveli and they can have as much privacy as they want because the haveli was enormously big. The haveli had wings. Eastern wing, western wing, it was more like an estate.

Apart from the couple who were now living in a separate mansion, Shehryaar's grandparents and his father lived, along with his cousins, uncles and his sister, Dua.

He had no mother. And all she was told that his mother had died in his childhood. Nobody told her the reason and she didn't ponder over it much. But she could feel that the family was keeping within them something about his mother. Especially his uncle, Haroon, who was also Haseeb's father. She noticed Haroon was very much partial to Jaha Ara, Shehryaaar's mother. While the family was very much averse to her. They won't talk about her much and some also considered her a black spot to the family's reputation but they won't talk such stuff infront Irtaza or Shehryaar.

Meanwhile, Shehryaar's father, Haider was a quiet, lonely old man. Who would just remain in his bubble. Would wake up early in the morning, go to the mosque for prayers and then do gardening. She once noticed him plucking out fresh roses that he had grown in the vast lawn of the haveli. The roses which had the darkest shades of red. And once done, he made a bouquet of it before heading out somewhere. When he came back home, he asked Sheharzaad for a glass of watcher which she fetched for him. And she noticed dried tears around his old eyes. Carefully, she asked him the reason. Hoping it won't upset him as he was Shehryaar's father. And if he gets upset then that would mean Shehryaar would be upset. And she couldn't afford that.

Her thinking process was maneuvered  to this level that the center of her thoughts was just, Shehryaar.

Haider's response to her subtle, nervous question was a polite gesture of smile as he patted her head, replying, 'I went to meet my lover. My dear wife,'

He also told her that he would take her to meet his wife so she can meet her daughter-in-law as well. But Sheharzaad told him that she might not have the permission for it. Once she will have it, he can take her to her grave.

She saw sadness looming over his eyes as he smiled back and left.

He seemed to her the fatherly figure. His warmth was so generous and gentle that whenever she would feel the memories of cell haunting him she would go to his room and just beside him. He would tell her different stories and riddles and sometimes about his late wife, Jaha Ara as well.

Haider would either be praying or reading books or doing work.  Upon enquiring about his work once, he told her that he would look after the business of both his sons so they won't make a mistake. Or if they did, he would be aware and there to correct them. She would also him going out and visiting the properties the family had on the village area.

This was his father. A total opposite to Shehryaar.

Sheharzaad realized the hold his grandfather had on the haveli. His word was the final say. He was the main man, the main pillar of the family. To her, he seemed a true mafia don in all senses. Even Shehryaar regarded his words. If his decision would go against his grandfathers' then he would retreat and accept his grandfathers' word instead of forcing his though he had the power. Sheharzaad was lowkey afraid of him. Because his aura was dark and serious as well. When he would come and sit on the table, the air would suddenly become quiet and thick. His aura ruling above everyone. And for some reason she didn't like him. He seemed a person who had done alot of sins. A ruthless man. The mastermind. Sheharyaar was more of his grandfather than his father. He was rather closer to him than his father. Business, mafia, politics everything would be discussed between the three. And just the the three of them. Shehryaar, Irtaza and their grandfather. The trio would together make the decision first before revealing it to the world.

So Sheharzaad preferred to stay away from him as much as she could yet she liked Shehryaar's father's company.

Dua seemed change to Sheharzaad as compared to the last time she met her. She had began to be awfully quiet. Lost in her thoughts. Sometimes caressing her stomach lovingly when tears would fill in her eyes.

Something was lost within her.

Maybe the life she once had in those orbs was not there anymore.

Just like her.

Sheharzaad didn't make an attempt to talk to her or anyone in this haveli. Even Haseeb who helped her once at Shehryaar's office. Sheharzaad has began to get afraid with interacting people, thinking that person might be working for Shehryaar too. So she was utterly cautious, scared to mingle and advance towards people. That was why she would prefer not leaving her room or even if she did, it would either be his father's room or at nights when everyone was sound asleep.

She had developed a friendship with her lonliness.

Rather she wanted to run away from people as far as she could because whenever she was among a crowd, she could find her breath hitching in her throat thinking every pair of eye was there to keep an eye on her and report her to him. But running away from haveli was not in her hands. Shehryaar has kept her there as his fiancee in that house and she has to live there as his fiancee. There was no room for arguments.

Currently, she sat alone on a sofa near the glass wall, staring at the rain. The sky, the grass and the garden everything look refreshed as if the atmosphere was waiting for the nature to bring down the rain. Similar to the man in the desert waiting for a drop of water.

Similar to that man, these trees and flowers, she too was waiting for her rain. Her freedom.

She never told about this to anyone that how much she desired to breathe freely without a constant fear.

She knew it was illegal to think like that. She belonged to Shehryaar only.

These thoughts would immediately cut down her desire of freedom.

Suddenly, the telephone placed near her began to ring. She looked around but nobody was there to attend the phone. She decided to let it ring because she thought she didn't have the permission to attend a random person's phone just like that. She ignored it and after a short time, the bell died down but soon enough it began to ring again. She tried ignoring it but when the phone kept on ringing she atlast decided to attend it.

Fixing the receiver of the phone on the year, she spoke, "hello,"

But nobody answered.

"Hello. Who is there?" She asked again in her meek voice.

All she got met with was silence.

"Hello?" she looked at the telephone and was aware that the line was on and somebody was listening from the other side.

Again, she didn't get any response so she hung up the phone.

A few days passed and once again she was alone in the lounge, staring at the sky. She has fallen in love with the sky since she has been released. It would make her realize that she atleast had that bare minimum freedom which was seized from hers. Again, it has been days since he last encountered Shehryaar. Because whenever he would be in the haveli she would hide in the safety of her room and rarely come out. And when he would be infront her, she would just shiver and would not be able to do anything properly and attentively as all her concentration would be on him.

Suddenly, the phone rung, she attended and this time again, nobody spoke. She kept on saying 'hello' in her low voice yet nobody answered but she was able to hear light breathing from the other side of the phone.

She was getting tensed now.

"Hello?"

"Recognized me?" The person atlast said, stealing her breath.

"Who are you?"

"Sheharzaad,"

"How....how.... d-d-d-do you know my name?"

Shehryaar running in the back of her mind as her hand that held the receiver began to shiver.

As soon as she heard footsteps nearing the lounge she quickly hung up the call and sat down. Sweat drops forming on her forehead as she gulped with her throat bobbing up.

She felt scared yet couldn't pinpoint the reason.

She wasn't at fault. That person called her. But she felt as if she did something illegal.

Infront her appeared, Asma, Haseeb's mother. For some reason, Sheharzaad thought that Asma didn't like her. Though she was sweet to Zahra and others but not to her. Giving her a cursory glance, she walked away and it was then she released a breath.

She didn't see me talking on the phone...

She was relieved.

That sudden surge of intense fear clicked her anxiety. Also when she was the sky turning blue, indicating that the evening was upon them, her anxiety paramounted.

She had began to hate evenings alot. It was the time mostly when she would feel alone and the memories of the cell would click her. With the urge to dissipate the anxiety, she stood up and walked towards Haiders' room and found his hands raised for dua'a as he was praying.

And she heard it.

She realized how much he loved Shehryaar. He was his favorite child. Because he just prayed for him more than any children of his. Asking for his hidayah. Asking for the forgiveness of his sins.

But it made her wonder, would God actually forgive Shehryaar?

She stood there at the doorframe when Haider noticed her and welcomed her to come inside. He got done with his prayers, folded the matt, placed it aside and asked about her health and well being.

It was then how they got engaged in a conversation that always served as an escape for Sheharzaad from her deadly thoughts. He was basically telling him a story when once he encountered with a jinn decades back while Sheharzaad listened to him keenly.

They were in the middle of the story as she sat on the sofa beside the bed and he laid on the bed with a comforter covering his legs as his back rested on the headrest, when the door to his room knocked, disrupting his story as both of them moved their head towards the door.

Shehryaar...