Chapter 11: Chapter 11

"This and that, include this as well." Edward’s mother is busy talking in front of the three women and Thalia chooses engagement dress sketches when Edward arrives. His forehead furrowed as his mother called him; again, he let out a heavy wind and sluggishly headed for it. A few minutes ago, he was in a complete verdict of happiness and now he is going to face Thalia's mother-in-law again.

"Come here, son. Choose something here for Thalia for your engagement ball." Edward broke himself. The way it sounded it's surely ridiculous. The idea of ​​having a grandeur engagement is what he hated the most.

"Can we talk for a second, Mom?” he was seriously attached to his mother whose smile focused on the dress sketch was still wide in the basin.

"We can talk here, son."

"Please Mom. Just the two of us." he said loudly. The lady followed him lazily and left Thalia to choose the patterns of a magazine.

"Is there a problem, Edward?" his mommy starts seemingly mysterious.

"Yes, Mom, there is. I told you to cancel this stupid engagement! I don't want to marry Thalia. You know that. I don't love her!" Edward's mouthed promise resonates here.

"But you have to or we will lose the biggest investor of our life! A partnership with the Leondale Shipping Lines would cause a great fortune, son. This is a great opportunity especially with the company's international agendas. When you marry Thalia, our business will grow even more.”

"So you and Dad traded me for business!?”

"No, that's not it, son. That's not what I mean. Your Dad and I just don't want you to regret it later. We don't want you to suffer."

"But what are you doing to me now? I'm having a hard time! You’re pushing me to a decision that I will regret. I didn’t love Thalia, isn't that reason enough to cancel this engagement? If I was just focused on business, trying to win you and dad's good comments, now not anymore. I've seen what really makes me happy and that's not Thalia!” he shouted at the mother who was just standing there.

"We are doing this for your own good, Edward. So I hope you will listen to us. We don’t want to see you having a hard time when the day comes. You are so precious to us."

"I'd rather just be poor than to live my life miserable because I made a big decision in my life." it was full of roughness and hatred of what he said to his mother.

"Sorry, son. But I can no longer cancel the engagement. If I do that, your daddy may have a heart attack and you don't want that to happen, do you?" his father's condition flashed through his confused mind. It has so much heart disease that even a little stress can kill it. Edward felt mixed emotions. His father was precious to him so he didn’t want to worry about it. But what about Vanilla and Ark? They're both special to his heart, they are also important to him. This is why he went on with life. So losing both of them can make him go crazy. He just looked at the incoming lady. He’s confused by what is happening. When Vanilla and he had settled down, then the problem came. How can he reject Thalia without hurting her and how can he confess to Vanilla when he’s afraid of what might happen? The girl might stay away and reject him.

Shit! His spirit was diminished. His brain is stuck in the amount of thinking. Edward was so sad that he got out of bed. He had not come down earlier when the maid called to eat. He squeezed his own nape to relieve its pain. He poured water into the glass and spit it into your mouth. He went down the small balcony to ventilate. Last night he couldn't think straight, he was looking for a way to escape the engagement without getting anybody hurt and disappointed. He looks away at dawn, he convinces himself that Vanilla will accept whatever it finds out about him, but it doesn’t work. In fact, the girl could even kill him when she found out he was engaged to someone else and he did not say that. He swallowed again, as if his throat was as dry. If only someone would be his back-up to tell Vanilla the reason he would certainly not have a hard time explaining everything here.

The secretary had already placed a fourth cup of coffee in front of him. But his body was still thin. He also went to a massage parlor earlier to massage his body to relax but he was not able to calm his mind. His hands are shaking, because he plans to tell Vanilla today about his engagement with Thalia.

He could not properly sign the pile of papers on his desk. He also had in mind what the secretary said about a private meeting with the suppliers. Instead, he was choked with concern over Vanilla's reaction. He was too advanced, but he couldn’t help but feel that way. Extreme fear overwhelmed him. He snatched the cellphone from his pocket to dial a call to Vanilla. But suddenly, the door of his office opened. He was restrained from pressing and solidly leaned on the secretary straight at the gate.

"Yes?”

"Sir, there is a woman outside, looking for you."

"Let her in." He lazily said. The door opened again and he saw Thalia appear. He didn’t expect its presence to appear. It rarely visits him. Every time she visits him, she will definitely do business or maybe talk about his mother.

"Good Morning, Edward." The woman kissed him on his cheek. He presented the sit in front of them.

"What brought you here, Thalia?" They are too formal to talk. Edward thinks Thalia is just a business partner, nothing more and nothing less than that.

"I have something to tell you..." He frowned.

Vanilla was very bored inside her cubicle. She played the ballpen with her fingers waiting for new papers to be delivered to her by the printing department to sign. Neither did she calm down, she didn’t know why. She misses her child and besides that is Edward's voice that gives music to her ear. She snatched the cellphone from the handbag and waited for the man's number to register. Earlier, she wanted to call it but she did not. She is a woman and when she does that she seems to be the one chasing it. So she calms down. She patted the table, eagerly waiting for the young man to call. She knew it would call, she just felt it. Yet, that did not happen.

Vanilla felt a little annoyed. Why didn't Edward even call her to say hello? Vanilla frowned and forcibly put the phone back in the bag. There’s a lot of speculation running through her brain. The young man may have had an affair with another woman. It can also be at the bar and entertain itself. She was almost overwhelmed by some negative scenario. She gets paranoid every time she thinks about what the man has done to her before. Maybe it's fooling her again.

Her printing department also didn’t come in to deliver new layouts so she decided to take a nap. This way she can forget Edward, even alleviate her extreme confusion. She'd expect that later it would also call her. So, she doesn’t have to stress herself anymore.

"I don't know where to start, Edward. But I need to tell you to clarify things." Thalia bowed to him.

"What's that thing that you wanted to clarify out?" Edward's four voices rang out. Even though he doesn't love Thalia, he endures being formal while talking to the woman. He has a lot of respect for his family and even though they aren’t yet married, his parents have already made an all-time partnership that is hard to deny.

"It's about the engagement." A strange sadness registered in the girl's eyes. Edward did not take his eyes off it and waited for what it would say next.

"What about that engagement?" curling his forehead.

"I think we made a wrong decision." It broke his full attention. He was confused by what Thalia said. He didn’t expect that word to come from her.

"What do you mean, Thalia?"

"We both know that this engagement is a big mania. I know you have always opposed our engagement. You’re just cornered by your parents too so, right?" it waited for his answer. He wanted not to hurt the girl with what he could answer but he couldn’t stop himself from lying.

"Maybe I have nothing to hide from you. Thalia, ever since the day our parents decided to tie the knot between us, I already disregarded it. I have always been opposed to our engagement. But I can’t see Dad sad. So against my will, I can do nothing more. I hope telling you this would not offend you.”

"Offend? No, Edward. I won’t be offended because it’s the fact. One more thing, we both feel the same." his two eyes widened. What did Thalia just say? "Do you think you’re the only one who isn’t happy with this engagement? I’m just faking it out too. I also oppose what Mom and Dad are doing to the two of us. Like you, Edward, I can do nothing more than to act lavish when faced with you.”

"Did you really mean it?" Edward said in a daze. He made sure of that. He seemed deaf because of his confession to her, he didn’t know anything about Thalia's side. He thought she also wanted their engagement.

"Yes, I mean it. Edward. As much as possible, I also don’t want to marry you, Edward. I don’t want the day to come when I will only regret it if I marry you. I also know that we won’t be happy when this wedding continues. I know from the start that you don’t love me. Ever since I saw that woman that day, I just know that she's the one who deserves you. So what's the point of having this engagement if we don't love each other?" He nodded at what it said. In all that he revealed to her, he admired the woman's courage to confess it. For three years, the girl kept it a secret from him.

"But we won’t be able to cancel the engagement. All is set for that event. Besides, when we do, everything will definitely get messy." full of concern in his voice. Any groom to be maybe not loving his bride wants to just get married. But for their case, when they cancel the marriage, hundreds of people will be involved. For one, his Daddy, it will attack his heart by chance.

"You sound too childish, Edward. But you won’t do it for him. You need to do this for yourself and for your heart. Like me, I will do it for myself not just for anybody around me. I also want the freedom to love.”

Freedom to love? That is what his parents didn’t give him ever since. He’s obliged to always follow its decisions without any considerations for himself. So even though it was painful for him to betray Vanilla, he still did. But now he won’t let that happen again. Vanilla and Ark were his life then and now and when it disappeared again in his hands, he would surely go crazy.

"But how can we stop it?" his face lit up.

"I have a plan in mind, but are you ready to take the risk?" its assurance to him. He nodded signaling his full agreement. His only pro-problem was how to explain everything to Vanilla. He would surely be angry with her. But he’s not a coward; he needs to take the risk for Vanilla and Ark.

Edward finally called her too. All day long she was staring at the man's number waiting for him to call. She immediately answered the ringing of the phone; she squeezed her voice to make it sound sullen.

"Why did you call?" Vanilla's question was the complete irony. She really wanted to call it earlier.

"There's something I need to tell you..."

"You can tell it on the phone."

"No, it’s important to tell you so let's meet."

"Okay." Vanilla was startled by the melody of Edward's words to her. It was as if his voice had become too shady and she seemed to see a coming storm. She couldn’t avoid her own nervousness.

"Just remember, Vanilla. I love you so much no matter what happens. You’re the first woman I love" It draws a healthy and sweet smile into her mouth. Should she answer him too? Well, Edward never failed to surprise her. This is the sweetest man she has ever met in her life. But she couldn’t control her nervous heart, from the way it sounded over the telephone it seemed to give a last will.

She no longer organized herself. She immediately grabbed the bag and hurried to the parking lot. She has no time to waste. She flew the car into the middle of the road to reach it immediately but it was caught in traffic. She almost forgot Monday today so the traffic flow at EDSA was slow especially peaking hours. Vanilla looked at her wrist watch; she was bored with the turtle movement of her three-year Civic unit.

Her eyes were screwed to the large billboard in front of her. Edward's face was posted there next to a woman both smiling and holding hands. She read the big letter at the bottom of the tarpaulin.

‘Successful Publisher Mr. The Greek and Shipping Line Heiress, Engagement Celebration.’ Her knees and hands weakened. It was as if cold water had been poured on her seat. Her tears flowed silently. She tried to rub her eyes to stop it but it couldn’t stop her eyes. Will Edward be able to meet her to tell her that he’s engaged? But why does it even say when her trust in the man is slowly returning? Even her son hopes to have a complete family. Ark and she is completely fooled again. Her tears kept falling, her face was soaking wet but she had to face the man. She wanted to know why the man did that to her.

The young man was restless in his position. He was looking for something to say to Vanilla when it came. He let out a deep sigh and decided to just sit down. He saw the bulk of it appear so he immediately stood up and met it with a smile. When it got close to him, it stopped and stared at him. Instantly, Edward felt something was off. Why are its eyes red? Is Vanilla crying?

"Vanilla, is there something wrong?" he asked here and held both arms parting what was happening here. "Listen, Vanilla. If there's any problem, you can talk to me, okay? I'm ready to listen." he rubbed it but he was surprised by what Vanilla did to him. She sluggishly removed her hands and hovered over him with a sad look.

"Tell me, Edward. Are you doing this out of pity? Do you just feel sorry for me?" he saw tears well up in her eyes. It seemed to pinch his heart with that glance. Vanilla is too vulnerable and innocent; he couldn't afford to see her cry.

"No, Vanilla! I don't do this because I feel sorry for you, I do all this because I love you." His release is full of sincerity because that is really his purpose in returning to Vanilla's life - to love her again.

"Do you really love me, Edward? Do you love me or will you just hurt me like before, will you drive me away again and make me a fool?”

"I love you, Vanilla. I have loved you ever since." he whispered loudly to her.

"If you love me, you will tell me everything. You have nothing to hide. Now tell me the truth, are you really engaged?" resentment overflows in its tone.

Edward was stunned by what he heard. His throat was dry and he didn't seem to want words to come out of his mouth. His previous self-preparation was suddenly consumed. It was as if he had withered in front of it. He didn't seem to be able to face Vanilla, he was overcome by nervousness.

"But I really planned to tell you this, Vanilla. I can tell you the truth. I don't like this engagement if that's what you're thinking. Both Mom and Dad forced me to do this with Thalia, I never did agree to it because you’re the one I love. You and Ark.”

"Is that why you were able to keep it a secret from me and if I didn't know it, I would remain a fool, huh? When else, Edward? When did you make me a fool? Wasn't it before? I trusted you again, full of trust so I let you into your son and my life again, hoping that you really changed that we almost believed it was all true. But now that I know, you’re proving even more that you don’t deserve to be given a second chance.” bitter and fierce formulation of tears continues to slide. His tongue seemed to be knotted as he watched the tears in Vanilla's eyes. He wanted to anoint them but fear and conscience overcame him.

"Vanilla, please listen to me. I really want to tell you everything, yet I don't have the courage to do so."

"Because you’re a coward! From then until now, you are still a coward Edward. You can’t fight for me and for your son! Do you know I bet everything just to be with you again? Yes, I will admit to myself that when you disappeared, I'm almost crazy about you. I love you, even though you hurt me then until now, I accepted you for our son. But I didn’t know that I made the wrong decision.” He was dumbfounded by what Vanilla told him.

"Vanilla, if you would just listen to me, I will tell you all why I came to this situation." he held it tightly in his hand and squeezed it.

"For what? For you to round my head again?" it violently withdrew its hands from its handcuffs. "I won’t allow you to round me up again, Edward. I'll admit, what you did to me hurts but as before I will gradually forget you. Don’t even plan to touch Ark because I don’t want him to see his father's lying face." it had turned its back on him but he grabbed Vanilla's hand.

"Vanilla, please don't leave me. I'll go crazy without you. Please, I'll do everything for you, I will kneel, I will kneel for your forgiveness." he knelt at her feet still holding the maiden's hand and wept bitterly as he worshiped. He didn't care if everyone was looking at him. What was important to him was to regain Vanilla's trust. "What do you want me to do so you can just forgive me?" he begged without hesitation.

"Do you really want me to forgive you?" he nodded in response. "Then I want you to forget me! That’s all, Edward and I'll be happy. I'll have my own path and you'll have yours. Goodbye!" it quickly withdrew its palms and without a moment walked away.

Edward was left crying, full of self-remorse and frustration. He pulled out his own hair and punched the floor. He didn’t feel any pain even with the constant bleeding of his hands. Vanilla has been the stuff of his brain from then until now. So he couldn’t bear himself to live without her and Ark by his side. Now that what he fears has happened, how can he deal with it every morning and night if the woman he loves is unable to forgive him? He was too stupid, he was so dumb, and he was a big idiot. That was what kept searching his brain.

Vanilla is forever gone, it took three years to see her again but in just a blink of an eye it also suddenly disappeared and it was his fault. No one's to be blamed by this other than him.

How can he make Vanilla forgive him? How?